Just wanted to share...
Joanne
My three kids (ages 8, 11 & 13) had a neighbor kid over (9 year old
boy in public school) yesterday, playing in our backyard. I was in
and out and didn't detect any issues or problems.
Later that night, Jacqueline (the newly turned 8 year old) was
telling me what happened. She said that the boy was trying to hit
Shawna (my 11 year old) with a stick and that Shawna told him to
stop, which he did. Then, he was trying to hit my son (13 years old)
with a baseball. Again, they asked him to stop. Jacqueline told me
that Shawna asked him "Why are you like that? Where do you think you
learned to be like that?".
LOL A therapist in the making.
Jacqueline told me that she said to him "We're not violent in this
family-we're unschoolers! You need to stop!".
That's my baby...advocate for peaceful unschooling. :-)
I asked them why they didn't tell me and the girls said that
they "wanted to try and talk to him first, kid to kid, and see if
they could get through to him".
:-)
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (8), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
boy in public school) yesterday, playing in our backyard. I was in
and out and didn't detect any issues or problems.
Later that night, Jacqueline (the newly turned 8 year old) was
telling me what happened. She said that the boy was trying to hit
Shawna (my 11 year old) with a stick and that Shawna told him to
stop, which he did. Then, he was trying to hit my son (13 years old)
with a baseball. Again, they asked him to stop. Jacqueline told me
that Shawna asked him "Why are you like that? Where do you think you
learned to be like that?".
LOL A therapist in the making.
Jacqueline told me that she said to him "We're not violent in this
family-we're unschoolers! You need to stop!".
That's my baby...advocate for peaceful unschooling. :-)
I asked them why they didn't tell me and the girls said that
they "wanted to try and talk to him first, kid to kid, and see if
they could get through to him".
:-)
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (8), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
[email protected]
Wow!
What a sweet story, and something that is just another great by-product of
living a happy, rich, loving, peaceful life!
Thanks for sharing!
Karen
What a sweet story, and something that is just another great by-product of
living a happy, rich, loving, peaceful life!
Thanks for sharing!
Karen
D Smith
Hello everyone,
I've missed so much being busy with packing, and
looking for a new place to live, I see I've missed a
lot. I thought I'd share what I learned about my son.
I knew he was upset that we had to get rid of his cat.
I thought that was the main reason for attacking the
new kittens. To me that sounded about right. I
couldn't have been more wrong. I feel so bad for not
seeing it sooner. But my son was/is distraut (I think
that's the right word) over moving.
We've looked at some bad offers, and some nice places
didn't work out. We are hoping the place we look at on
Tuesday works out, because this is so very upseting
for him and us. I wish things were going more
smoothly, for all of us.
Ren, I wasn't ignoring him. I don't think he could
tell me. Sometimes I wonder if he's autistic. I know
it's just who he is. He has a hard time getting us to
understand him. I'm so thankful for his tantrum,
because that's when he finally let out that he just
wants to move and that he hates this house.
I feel like a really stupid mom, for not seeing it.
Back to playing legos, take care everyone.
Danie
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I've missed so much being busy with packing, and
looking for a new place to live, I see I've missed a
lot. I thought I'd share what I learned about my son.
I knew he was upset that we had to get rid of his cat.
I thought that was the main reason for attacking the
new kittens. To me that sounded about right. I
couldn't have been more wrong. I feel so bad for not
seeing it sooner. But my son was/is distraut (I think
that's the right word) over moving.
We've looked at some bad offers, and some nice places
didn't work out. We are hoping the place we look at on
Tuesday works out, because this is so very upseting
for him and us. I wish things were going more
smoothly, for all of us.
Ren, I wasn't ignoring him. I don't think he could
tell me. Sometimes I wonder if he's autistic. I know
it's just who he is. He has a hard time getting us to
understand him. I'm so thankful for his tantrum,
because that's when he finally let out that he just
wants to move and that he hates this house.
I feel like a really stupid mom, for not seeing it.
Back to playing legos, take care everyone.
Danie
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John and Amanda Slater
Our biggest behavior problem at hime right now is the boys interaction with our kittens. My boys are 5 and almost 4. We have two kittens. The younger one has been with us since she was 3 days old and is now 6 weeks. The older one is about 12 weeks. The boys will lift the kittens by their necks or hold on around their necks to keep the kittens from getting away. They also will sometimes use their legs in the same way. It happens wherever I am. Sitting right next to them or in the other room. I try to tell them the kittens don't like it, but they insist they do. I don't think they are purposefully abusing them, but they are very rough. (They are rough with each other as well.) I have many times talked to them about easy it is to injure the cats, but the behavior continues. The boys have numerous scratches on their arms and faces, but it does not bother them at all. I would love any advice as it is a constant struggle when we are home.
Amanda
Eli 5 Samuel 3.5
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Amanda
Eli 5 Samuel 3.5
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Solé
I remember my sister and her friend did this and worse when they were
that age. They wanted to teach them "flying" by throwing them from
the loft bed, and teach them "going down the stairs", by pushing them
down the stairs and so on. After a few weeks the kittens were so
wounded, we (my parents that is, I was young at the time) had to kill
them to relieve their pain. Most of their bones were broken and as my
parents worked and were not much around, no one would really stop the
kids from doing that :-( My sister now (24) rellay regrets this and
doesn't really want to hear about it. She LOVES cats and she did this
without knowing it would hurt them, now matter what we'd tell them.
She truely wanted to just play and hlep them.
What your kids are doing doesn't sound as harmful, but if it really
becomes harmful, I'd give the kittens away for their sake. Not as
punishment but maybe your kids are just too young to handle that! In
another (tcc) list I read that someone had a similar problem, they
put the kittens in a cage, which was a solution, but for me it
wouldn't be. Cats are already in a "cage" at home with us, especially
if they have no garde (which many cats don't have), so putting them
again in a smaller cage just doesn't feel right. They'd build a big
cage though, I think..
Greetings
Johanna
Am 24.09.2006 um 00:05 schrieb John and Amanda Slater:
that age. They wanted to teach them "flying" by throwing them from
the loft bed, and teach them "going down the stairs", by pushing them
down the stairs and so on. After a few weeks the kittens were so
wounded, we (my parents that is, I was young at the time) had to kill
them to relieve their pain. Most of their bones were broken and as my
parents worked and were not much around, no one would really stop the
kids from doing that :-( My sister now (24) rellay regrets this and
doesn't really want to hear about it. She LOVES cats and she did this
without knowing it would hurt them, now matter what we'd tell them.
She truely wanted to just play and hlep them.
What your kids are doing doesn't sound as harmful, but if it really
becomes harmful, I'd give the kittens away for their sake. Not as
punishment but maybe your kids are just too young to handle that! In
another (tcc) list I read that someone had a similar problem, they
put the kittens in a cage, which was a solution, but for me it
wouldn't be. Cats are already in a "cage" at home with us, especially
if they have no garde (which many cats don't have), so putting them
again in a smaller cage just doesn't feel right. They'd build a big
cage though, I think..
Greetings
Johanna
Am 24.09.2006 um 00:05 schrieb John and Amanda Slater:
> Our biggest behavior problem at hime right now is the boys
> interaction with our kittens. My boys are 5 and almost 4. We have
> two kittens. The younger one has been with us since she was 3 days
> old and is now 6 weeks. The older one is about 12 weeks. The boys
> will lift the kittens by their necks or hold on around their necks
> to keep the kittens from getting away. They also will sometimes use
> their legs in the same way. It happens wherever I am. Sitting right
> next to them or in the other room. I try to tell them the kittens
> don't like it, but they insist they do. I don't think they are
> purposefully abusing them, but they are very rough. (They are rough
> with each other as well.) I have many times talked to them about
> easy it is to injure the cats, but the behavior continues. The boys
> have numerous scratches on their arms and faces, but it does not
> bother them at all. I would love any advice as it is a constant
> struggle when we are home.
>
> Amanda
> Eli 5 Samuel 3.5
>
>
> ---------------------------------
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> call rates.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
Joyce Fetteroll
On Sep 23, 2006, at 6:05 PM, John and Amanda Slater wrote:
say "No, sweetie, that hurts him." And if they insisted your son
liked it, would you accept that?
You need to say "No. Everyone in the family deserves to feel safe. I
won't let someone hurt you. I won't let someone hurt your brother. I
won't let someone hurt your dad. I won't let someone hurt the kittens."
It doesn't need to be a rule. It's just a no.
Rules have anger and enforcement and punishment and implications that
someone breaking them is mean and bad.
Nos are just nos.
Be understanding that kittens are fun to play with but you can't
allow them to be hurt.
If you slugged someone who was assaulting you and then someone
accused you of being violent and being in the wrong, how would you
feel? Would you be angry at the person assuming bad things about you?
Your kids aren't trying to be mean. They don't understand, possibly
*can't* understand. My daughter was the same. She wanted animals to
be like living toys that would do what she wanted and participate in
her play. Fortunately we didn't have kittens but full grown cats who
could run and hide where she couldn't get them. And it lasted longer
than I would have expected but she eventually grew out of it and is
now kind and gentle. She is old enough to understand empathically.
But at 4 and 5 I wouldn't have trusted her to understand that her
play would hurt kittens.
You need to be the kittens' protector. (As well as the protector of
the rest of the family!) Role model that we don't let family members
be hurt. Put the kittens in a room where the boys can't get to them.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I try to tell them the kittens don't like it, but they insist they do.And if someone came in and picked up your kid by the neck would you
say "No, sweetie, that hurts him." And if they insisted your son
liked it, would you accept that?
You need to say "No. Everyone in the family deserves to feel safe. I
won't let someone hurt you. I won't let someone hurt your brother. I
won't let someone hurt your dad. I won't let someone hurt the kittens."
It doesn't need to be a rule. It's just a no.
Rules have anger and enforcement and punishment and implications that
someone breaking them is mean and bad.
Nos are just nos.
Be understanding that kittens are fun to play with but you can't
allow them to be hurt.
If you slugged someone who was assaulting you and then someone
accused you of being violent and being in the wrong, how would you
feel? Would you be angry at the person assuming bad things about you?
Your kids aren't trying to be mean. They don't understand, possibly
*can't* understand. My daughter was the same. She wanted animals to
be like living toys that would do what she wanted and participate in
her play. Fortunately we didn't have kittens but full grown cats who
could run and hide where she couldn't get them. And it lasted longer
than I would have expected but she eventually grew out of it and is
now kind and gentle. She is old enough to understand empathically.
But at 4 and 5 I wouldn't have trusted her to understand that her
play would hurt kittens.
You need to be the kittens' protector. (As well as the protector of
the rest of the family!) Role model that we don't let family members
be hurt. Put the kittens in a room where the boys can't get to them.
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Angela S.
<Cats are already in a "cage" at home with us, especially
if they have no garde (which many cats don't have), so putting them
again in a smaller cage just doesn't feel right. They'd build a big
cage though, I think..>
It was my family that built a cage for the kittens when my girls were small.
The kittens were just babies and they just needed a break from the kids
playing with them. (even though they weren't very rough) They didn't live
in the cage all the time, but went there for breaks when the kids just
couldn't seem to leave them alone. It was big enough for beds and a litter
box and food and two kittens. It was nice that the girls could sit there
and look at them but at the same time they were safe.
It didn't take long before the newness of having kittens wore off and the
girls stopped lugging them around every where they went. Then we didn't need
the cage but it was a life saver for a while.
Angela S.
game-enthusiast@...
Life Is Good!
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if they have no garde (which many cats don't have), so putting them
again in a smaller cage just doesn't feel right. They'd build a big
cage though, I think..>
It was my family that built a cage for the kittens when my girls were small.
The kittens were just babies and they just needed a break from the kids
playing with them. (even though they weren't very rough) They didn't live
in the cage all the time, but went there for breaks when the kids just
couldn't seem to leave them alone. It was big enough for beds and a litter
box and food and two kittens. It was nice that the girls could sit there
and look at them but at the same time they were safe.
It didn't take long before the newness of having kittens wore off and the
girls stopped lugging them around every where they went. Then we didn't need
the cage but it was a life saver for a while.
Angela S.
game-enthusiast@...
Life Is Good!
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Solé
>o:-) Sorry :-) I didn't quite remember the exact facts about the
> It was my family that built a cage for the kittens when my girls
> were small.
cage. As you describe it now, it sounds like a good solution, if one
has room enough for this.
Greetings
Johanna
D Smith
Most of what you described your little ones doing, is
normal. This is our 3rd round of kittens. Which is
kinda why the things my son was doing, I found a
little scary. He would go up and kick them.
Anyways, I've done what has been said. When the
kittens cry, I pretty much put them in a kennel or
another room. That seems to work the best. Talking
only helps so much. Your boys aren't kicking, which is
great. Quick thought- maybe a stuffed kitten that they
can dance or play with? That worked with Parker. When
he goes to give one of the kittens dance lessons, I
find his toy. That seems to help.
Kittens can enjoy kennels just like dogs. We had a cat
that loved his. Even when the door was open, he'd go
in there. He kept his 'kills' in there. Another one,
would bring her 'loveies' in there so no one else
could play with them. Our dogs, prefer their kennels
to just being out. I think because they get stepped on
or fallen over, so it's just safer to lay in their
kennels when not outside. I feel even pets have a
right to a safe place all their own.
I hope this helps.
Danie
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normal. This is our 3rd round of kittens. Which is
kinda why the things my son was doing, I found a
little scary. He would go up and kick them.
Anyways, I've done what has been said. When the
kittens cry, I pretty much put them in a kennel or
another room. That seems to work the best. Talking
only helps so much. Your boys aren't kicking, which is
great. Quick thought- maybe a stuffed kitten that they
can dance or play with? That worked with Parker. When
he goes to give one of the kittens dance lessons, I
find his toy. That seems to help.
Kittens can enjoy kennels just like dogs. We had a cat
that loved his. Even when the door was open, he'd go
in there. He kept his 'kills' in there. Another one,
would bring her 'loveies' in there so no one else
could play with them. Our dogs, prefer their kennels
to just being out. I think because they get stepped on
or fallen over, so it's just safer to lay in their
kennels when not outside. I feel even pets have a
right to a safe place all their own.
I hope this helps.
Danie
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Vickisue Gray
I can't wrap my head around any of this. We have always had kittens, puppies, foals, kids (baby goats) and such. No form of meanness was every allowed, but then our kids just never were abusive. We taught them from the beginning how to treat the babies and they just did. If I ever found one of our pets being abused, I would have found the pet a new and better home AND corrected my child. At one point, we had over 150 'pets' (counting all the chickens and turkeys, all hand held and friendly). Granted we live on a farm but abuse is abuse. Hitting, kicking and biting is just not nice behavior at any age.
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John and Amanda Slater
Vickisue Gray <vickisue_gray@...> wrote: Hitting, kicking and biting is just not nice behavior at any age.
I'm not sure if this is in response to my post or not. The boys don't do any of this. They are just rough. (Patting on the head, grabbing legs, holding tight, straightening ears) They are getting better all the time about grabbing the animals necks. I was hoping someone had a great suggestions, but it is clear there is no easy answer. I continually talk to the boys about proper behavior and we are starting to lock the animals in our room when it gets to rough in the rest of the house. I think we will also build the kittens a higher climbing post to get away from the kids easier. I think it is just an issue where some kids are gentler than others. I am trying to help the kids find ways to love on the animals properly. They really do love them!
Thanks for some good suggestions,
Amanda
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I'm not sure if this is in response to my post or not. The boys don't do any of this. They are just rough. (Patting on the head, grabbing legs, holding tight, straightening ears) They are getting better all the time about grabbing the animals necks. I was hoping someone had a great suggestions, but it is clear there is no easy answer. I continually talk to the boys about proper behavior and we are starting to lock the animals in our room when it gets to rough in the rest of the house. I think we will also build the kittens a higher climbing post to get away from the kids easier. I think it is just an issue where some kids are gentler than others. I am trying to help the kids find ways to love on the animals properly. They really do love them!
Thanks for some good suggestions,
Amanda
Recent Activity
25
New Members
1
New Links
Visit Your Group
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Home schooling curriculum
Parenting issue
Home schooling material
Home schooling resource
Home schooling high school
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