Re: [unschoolingbasics] Impossible not to use coercive methods?
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/18/2006 6:34:22 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
even if
it means burning their skin, or imflaming the wound that was already
healed, even happening again a second time although by then it should
have learned,<<<<<<
It sounds like you are assuming there are only two options when there are
many more than that. Either do what I want (put on sun screen) or go ahead and
burn. And I didn't understand the wound thing so I can't begin to come up
with more solutions for that. But turn it into a win-win situation. Where
you get what you want and so does the child. If you think about it in the sun
burn issue, what mom wants is for the child to not get sun burned (it really
has nothing to do with wanting the child to wear sun screen and sun screen is
only one solution) and the child wants to swim, play on the beach. Try to
figure out a solution where both wants/needs are met. You can apply this to
any scenario.
We have dealt with some tough ones here that I wondered at times if we would
ever come up with a solution that would be agreeable to everyone. But we
kept working at it until we did. Remember to think win-win. Really identify
wants and needs and be creative. Also involve the child in the process. I
totally believe that only the individual can know what is truly best for
himself.
Just my thoughts,
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
even if
it means burning their skin, or imflaming the wound that was already
healed, even happening again a second time although by then it should
have learned,<<<<<<
It sounds like you are assuming there are only two options when there are
many more than that. Either do what I want (put on sun screen) or go ahead and
burn. And I didn't understand the wound thing so I can't begin to come up
with more solutions for that. But turn it into a win-win situation. Where
you get what you want and so does the child. If you think about it in the sun
burn issue, what mom wants is for the child to not get sun burned (it really
has nothing to do with wanting the child to wear sun screen and sun screen is
only one solution) and the child wants to swim, play on the beach. Try to
figure out a solution where both wants/needs are met. You can apply this to
any scenario.
We have dealt with some tough ones here that I wondered at times if we would
ever come up with a solution that would be agreeable to everyone. But we
kept working at it until we did. Remember to think win-win. Really identify
wants and needs and be creative. Also involve the child in the process. I
totally believe that only the individual can know what is truly best for
himself.
Just my thoughts,
Pam G
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 9/18/2006 6:34:22 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,
[email protected] writes:
but what do you do that very first
day it happens? Do you go home, let them whining because there just
isn't any solution? <<<<<<
Just some ideas for in the moment, again the child might have more ideas.
-lets go get something to eat while the sun goes down a bit.
-there is a really cool museum I think we might enjoy
-how about we rent one of those sun umbrellas and build a huge sand castle
under it
-would you consider wearing your shirt while you are out here
-how about we go to that cool beach shop over there and see if they have any
of those sun shirts
-there is a shade spot in front of that hotel, lets try playing there
-a cool pool, neighborhood Y, hotel pool etc
I am sure there are a ton of creative ideas. Also let your child know your
concerns and really listen to his. Make sure he knows you want to work out a
win-win solution. It really does work.
Just a thought,
Pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected] writes:
but what do you do that very first
day it happens? Do you go home, let them whining because there just
isn't any solution? <<<<<<
Just some ideas for in the moment, again the child might have more ideas.
-lets go get something to eat while the sun goes down a bit.
-there is a really cool museum I think we might enjoy
-how about we rent one of those sun umbrellas and build a huge sand castle
under it
-would you consider wearing your shirt while you are out here
-how about we go to that cool beach shop over there and see if they have any
of those sun shirts
-there is a shade spot in front of that hotel, lets try playing there
-a cool pool, neighborhood Y, hotel pool etc
I am sure there are a ton of creative ideas. Also let your child know your
concerns and really listen to his. Make sure he knows you want to work out a
win-win solution. It really does work.
Just a thought,
Pam
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]