Ren Allen

"I have been following this thread with interest because my younger
son (10) feels like I don't really ever punish older brother (12)
when he teases or bullies him. He accuses me of "not really doing
anything about it."

Are you? Why wouldn't you be actively, immediately doing something
about it?? Just because punishment is not advocated here, does not
mean "do nothing"!!
I've seen "gentle" parents that let the older sibling harrass the
younger (or something the other way around) and stand there doing
NOTHING. That isn't gentle parenting btw. I've also heard "just ignore
her"
WHA???
Just ignore someone that is bullying, teasing or otherwise invading
your space??? What kind of advice is that?

Everyone in our household deserves peace and safety. Sometimes a child
isn't interested in peace or safety for another person and it's my job
to ENSURE that peace and safety for that smaller/less aggressive person.

I don't think it's very mindful to let someone pick on another person.
I don't think it's great that your child doesn't feel you do enough to
protect him. How are you stopping this? Why is the younger one feeling
he doesn't have an advocate to help him? Why on earth would any child
be allowed to make someone else miserable?

What are you doing instead of punishment?

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

D Smith

"Everyone in our household deserves peace and safety.
Sometimes a child isn't interested in peace or safety
for another person and it's my job to ENSURE that
peace and safety for that smaller/less aggressive
person.

I don't think it's very mindful to let someone pick on
another person. I don't think it's great that your
child doesn't feel you do enough to protect him. How
are you stopping this? Why is the younger one feeling
he doesn't have an advocate to help him? Why on earth
would any child be allowed to make someone else
miserable?

What are you doing instead of punishment?"

Ren, I fully agree with you, but I'm at a loss as to
what to do in that kind of situation. Currently in my
life, my son is picking on two little kittens his
daddy brought home. I've talked to him about why he is
doing it. I think I understand at times, but he won't
stop. I don't know how to make him stop.

I've lost it a few times, and spanked him. For which I
cry more than he does. I apologise for spanking him,
and tell him it's wrong to spank him. Some days I
think he understands and others I feel he just doesn't
get it. Seperating them doesn't seem to help. Because
he waits till I'm busy and then goes in the room they
are in and just hurts them.

I've told him, that I am seriously considering giving
the kittens back to the lady that gave them to us.
I'll be sad, and he doesn't want them to go, but I
don't know what else to do?

I will value any help with this. We are in the middle
of moving too. And under a lot of stress, which I
believe contribute to this behavior. I just don't want
him to be mean to animals.

Thanks,
Danie

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Angela S.

I had kittens with very young children and they just didn't understand that
you can't handle the kittens ALL day long. I solved the problem by building
a cage out of those white wire shelves and wire ties. I made it big enough
to fit a small litter box and food and water and a bed for the kitties.
When I felt the kittens had had enough handling they went in the cage for
their nap. The kids could gather round the cage and still see them but they
knew it was the kitties sleep time and they didn't bother them. I also was
constantly there with my kids, playing with them, loving them, and meeting
their needs. My house was a wreck but my kids had their needs met. What are
your priorities? Be with them, really with them. Hope this helps.



Angela

game-enthusiast@...



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