Ren Allen

"I just repeat in my words what each child has just
said. I continue to do this, until they resolve it on their own."

There are some kids that would NOT appreciate this method. I would
certainly get upset if I asked someone for help with a problem and all
they did is reflect what I said. Sometimes, people need ideas for
solutions. Reflective listening is a very useful tool...it is not
however, the answer to all conflict between children.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Ren Allen

"I don't know how to make him stop."

You need to figure it out, or not have animals in your home. I don't
think it's fair for smaller creatures to suffer because you can't be
more creative in helping your child.

If you're still losing it, and resorting to spanking, then I would
guess that he is simply acting out the pain that has been inflicted
upon him, upon more helpless creatures. That happens.

Until you get beyond the paradigm of "fixing" him, or hurting him to
change the behavior, it's going to be really difficult to come up with
solutions that truly help everyone.

First of all, I would try to spend a lot of time with him. Fill him up
as it were. Make sure he gets a lot of attention and time BEFORE he's
acting out. What activities bring him joy? What does he love? Focus on
that part of him so he can begin to feel whole.

Are there signs before he starts to act hurtfully? Does he give cues?
Are you listening to the cues and being present when he needs help?

There is something in him that is hurting it sounds like. It IS your
job to keep both the kittens and the younger child safe. If you can't
do that, then you're negating your position as a parent. That is not a
good environment for unschooling. Your younger child is feeling
neglected because you aren't keeping him safe. How is that going to
build trust?

Ren
learninginfreedom.com