Conversation thoughts
Barbara Mullins
Well after unschooling ourselves for the last 2 1/2 years I am
actually attending the local homeschool planning meeting tonight, I
didn't even find out until last year that they had one here closer
than the one I drive to 30 min. away in a larger town. From what I
understand they are mostly Christian school at home types but they
don't ask for a declaration of faith and from what I understand they
have a couple of ecclectic families. So I am mostly trying to make
some playdates for my son, I think he is having a hard time
understanding what is involved in making conversation. He talks and
talks and tells lots of stories but he doesn't really converse well,
he does more of a one sided talking. Both my husband and I try to
engage him conversation often so I just don't understand why he
doesn't understand the process. We are getting really frustrated with
him. He is 8 and so I am hoping this is something that he is going to
eventually outgrow. I have started a local yahoo group which has a few
members but none of them are really local so it's not like we can get
together. I also started a yahoo group for kids to connect whether it
be by email, skype talking, sharing xbox live or IM handles, etc. but
so far my son hasn't done much there either (but we keep trying!)
I wouldn't mind my son playing with the school at home types but
when they ask to bring out their computer games and then they get a
firm "you are not here to play with that you are here to exercise or
play outdoors etc" it just throws a big wrench in things because they
are so controlling of their kids and my son would have gotten a great
kick out of playing games with them so now their all unhappy, etc.
Plus many of the kids are really mean, bullying the other kids and my
son will pretty much always tell them he doesn't think that is
appropriate and will just come back to me and rather talk to me than
play with the kids like that (who could blame him?) I think my son is
doing well in most areas of his life but making friends and holding
down a conversation are just really hard for him. I'm not sure what
I'm asking for perhaps some insight from some who have gone through
this, perhaps I am just venting as sometimes writing it all out makes
me feel better. Thanks for listening - Barbara
actually attending the local homeschool planning meeting tonight, I
didn't even find out until last year that they had one here closer
than the one I drive to 30 min. away in a larger town. From what I
understand they are mostly Christian school at home types but they
don't ask for a declaration of faith and from what I understand they
have a couple of ecclectic families. So I am mostly trying to make
some playdates for my son, I think he is having a hard time
understanding what is involved in making conversation. He talks and
talks and tells lots of stories but he doesn't really converse well,
he does more of a one sided talking. Both my husband and I try to
engage him conversation often so I just don't understand why he
doesn't understand the process. We are getting really frustrated with
him. He is 8 and so I am hoping this is something that he is going to
eventually outgrow. I have started a local yahoo group which has a few
members but none of them are really local so it's not like we can get
together. I also started a yahoo group for kids to connect whether it
be by email, skype talking, sharing xbox live or IM handles, etc. but
so far my son hasn't done much there either (but we keep trying!)
I wouldn't mind my son playing with the school at home types but
when they ask to bring out their computer games and then they get a
firm "you are not here to play with that you are here to exercise or
play outdoors etc" it just throws a big wrench in things because they
are so controlling of their kids and my son would have gotten a great
kick out of playing games with them so now their all unhappy, etc.
Plus many of the kids are really mean, bullying the other kids and my
son will pretty much always tell them he doesn't think that is
appropriate and will just come back to me and rather talk to me than
play with the kids like that (who could blame him?) I think my son is
doing well in most areas of his life but making friends and holding
down a conversation are just really hard for him. I'm not sure what
I'm asking for perhaps some insight from some who have gone through
this, perhaps I am just venting as sometimes writing it all out makes
me feel better. Thanks for listening - Barbara
Michelle Leifur Reid
On 8/31/06, Barbara Mullins <mozafamily@...> wrote:
in what is in other people's lives. Right now he is 8 and his world
is all about him. I think when little bodies get excited about a
particular subject that they know something about they can just go on
and on. They think that everyone is as interested in what they are
saying as they are. As he starts to develop friendships and starts
wanting to know about his friends' lives then conversation will start
working and he will have a building block from the conversations that
you have had with him.
And don't worry about the school-at-home types turning their noses up
at computer games. They aren't living an unschooled life and they
don't put equal value on computer games as they do books, curriculum,
and other things that they deem "more educational." Be his advocate
if someone starts to say negative things about his computer games
rather than his going outside to "play." You could say something
like, "This is what he feels like doing right now. He's
content/happy/at peace. Why would I want to interupt that?" Turn the
conversation your way as you can better defend your parenting
decisions than your son can :)
You might also find that the "eclectic" homeschoolers are unschoolers
in disguise. Sometimes it is a code word for unschoolers who fear
that people will not accept them if they unschool. Seen it. You will
find the people you like to hang out with. You find what you search
for!
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!
> He talks andConversation is a skill that they learn as they become more interested
> talks and tells lots of stories but he doesn't really converse well,
> he does more of a one sided talking. Both my husband and I try to
> engage him conversation often so I just don't understand why he
> doesn't understand the process. We are getting really frustrated with
> him. He is 8
in what is in other people's lives. Right now he is 8 and his world
is all about him. I think when little bodies get excited about a
particular subject that they know something about they can just go on
and on. They think that everyone is as interested in what they are
saying as they are. As he starts to develop friendships and starts
wanting to know about his friends' lives then conversation will start
working and he will have a building block from the conversations that
you have had with him.
And don't worry about the school-at-home types turning their noses up
at computer games. They aren't living an unschooled life and they
don't put equal value on computer games as they do books, curriculum,
and other things that they deem "more educational." Be his advocate
if someone starts to say negative things about his computer games
rather than his going outside to "play." You could say something
like, "This is what he feels like doing right now. He's
content/happy/at peace. Why would I want to interupt that?" Turn the
conversation your way as you can better defend your parenting
decisions than your son can :)
You might also find that the "eclectic" homeschoolers are unschoolers
in disguise. Sometimes it is a code word for unschoolers who fear
that people will not accept them if they unschool. Seen it. You will
find the people you like to hang out with. You find what you search
for!
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!
Barbara Mullins
Thanks Michelle - the meeting is over now so I'm trying to relax a
bit. I was prettymuch the only family there who didn't use a
curriculum, although there was one family that stated they didn't
assign grades as they had asked us to state our children's names and
grades. There were just a few kids there and I'm glad my child didn't
have to suffer through the long meeting. But I did read their
membership rules and religion or a particular curriculum isn't
mentioned so dispite the amount of Sonlight and SOS users I am
apparently not breaking their rules by joining. They're having their
first meet of the year next week for the kids to have PE so we will go
and try it, they take off for the summer. I think I just felt pretty
out of place though, I mean most of the people who have their kids in
school it's because they either don't know about homeschooling, don't
care or they have to work. But these people have already made the
choice to homeschool yet are still insisting on creating a school at
home where their students have to sit and work so many hours a day. It
is really scary to me what parents can make their kids do all in the
name of education. I really want to find a place where we fit in a
little, where my son can make a friend.Perhaps I'm trying too hard.
--- In [email protected], "Michelle Leifur Reid"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
bit. I was prettymuch the only family there who didn't use a
curriculum, although there was one family that stated they didn't
assign grades as they had asked us to state our children's names and
grades. There were just a few kids there and I'm glad my child didn't
have to suffer through the long meeting. But I did read their
membership rules and religion or a particular curriculum isn't
mentioned so dispite the amount of Sonlight and SOS users I am
apparently not breaking their rules by joining. They're having their
first meet of the year next week for the kids to have PE so we will go
and try it, they take off for the summer. I think I just felt pretty
out of place though, I mean most of the people who have their kids in
school it's because they either don't know about homeschooling, don't
care or they have to work. But these people have already made the
choice to homeschool yet are still insisting on creating a school at
home where their students have to sit and work so many hours a day. It
is really scary to me what parents can make their kids do all in the
name of education. I really want to find a place where we fit in a
little, where my son can make a friend.Perhaps I'm trying too hard.
--- In [email protected], "Michelle Leifur Reid"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
>
> On 8/31/06, Barbara Mullins <mozafamily@...> wrote:
> > He talks and
> > talks and tells lots of stories but he doesn't really converse well,
> > he does more of a one sided talking. Both my husband and I try to
> > engage him conversation often so I just don't understand why he
> > doesn't understand the process. We are getting really frustrated with
> > him. He is 8
>
> Conversation is a skill that they learn as they become more interested
> in what is in other people's lives. Right now he is 8 and his world
> is all about him. I think when little bodies get excited about a
> particular subject that they know something about they can just go on
> and on. They think that everyone is as interested in what they are
> saying as they are. As he starts to develop friendships and starts
> wanting to know about his friends' lives then conversation will start
> working and he will have a building block from the conversations that
> you have had with him.
>
> And don't worry about the school-at-home types turning their noses up
> at computer games. They aren't living an unschooled life and they
> don't put equal value on computer games as they do books, curriculum,
> and other things that they deem "more educational." Be his advocate
> if someone starts to say negative things about his computer games
> rather than his going outside to "play." You could say something
> like, "This is what he feels like doing right now. He's
> content/happy/at peace. Why would I want to interupt that?" Turn the
> conversation your way as you can better defend your parenting
> decisions than your son can :)
>
> You might also find that the "eclectic" homeschoolers are unschoolers
> in disguise. Sometimes it is a code word for unschoolers who fear
> that people will not accept them if they unschool. Seen it. You will
> find the people you like to hang out with. You find what you search
> for!
>
> --
> Michelle
> Michelle Leifur Reid
> YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
> 850-474-0817
> http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
> Check out my homeschool cooking classes!
>
Michelle Leifur Reid
On 8/31/06, Barbara Mullins <mozafamily@...> wrote:
disciplinarian form of education is the best route. They might not
believe in the curriculum choices being used by the public schools and
feel that their choice (be it religious or secular) is better (for
whatever reasons) but when you look at it, it still looks a whole lot
like school. Although there are Christian unschoolers who do unschool
for religious reasons. :) I met a mom at our recent curriculum and
homeschool fair that I invited to our group. She's a friend of one of
the members. She said, "I don't think you would have me. We school
at home and have desks and salute the flag and everything and
Wednesday is a school day." :(
inclusive group for my children. I created a yahoogroup, got it so
that one could find it with google and yahoo search engines and then
made up a tri-fold and left it at bookstores, libraries, community
centers, school supply stores, anywhere I could think of where
homeschoolers might go. I did manage to get a group of about 20
families assembled before I moved and it even included some teens (a
concern of mine). And while it wasn't an unschool group, it was
secular. It's doable.
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!
> But these people have already made theMany people who homeschool for religious reasons still feel a strict
> choice to homeschool yet are still insisting on creating a school at
> home where their students have to sit and work so many hours a day. It
> is really scary to me what parents can make their kids do all in the
> name of education.
disciplinarian form of education is the best route. They might not
believe in the curriculum choices being used by the public schools and
feel that their choice (be it religious or secular) is better (for
whatever reasons) but when you look at it, it still looks a whole lot
like school. Although there are Christian unschoolers who do unschool
for religious reasons. :) I met a mom at our recent curriculum and
homeschool fair that I invited to our group. She's a friend of one of
the members. She said, "I don't think you would have me. We school
at home and have desks and salute the flag and everything and
Wednesday is a school day." :(
>I really want to find a place where we fit in aPerhaps you need to start your own group. I did this to find an
> little, where my son can make a friend.Perhaps I'm trying too hard.
>
inclusive group for my children. I created a yahoogroup, got it so
that one could find it with google and yahoo search engines and then
made up a tri-fold and left it at bookstores, libraries, community
centers, school supply stores, anywhere I could think of where
homeschoolers might go. I did manage to get a group of about 20
families assembled before I moved and it even included some teens (a
concern of mine). And while it wasn't an unschool group, it was
secular. It's doable.
--
Michelle
Michelle Leifur Reid
YOUR Pampered Chef Consultant
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Check out my homeschool cooking classes!