Tyra Olufemi

Ren Wrote:

I have the benefit of also having a 12 y.o. that just learned to read
this last year, so I KNOW it will happen in it's own time and way. No
worries.


Just the other day my hubby said that he feels that my son needs to learn how to do what is usually thought of as the foundational subjects and skills NOW. He said that what he has read is that if a child falls behind now that he will be behind forever. I found his statement to be so startling that I just moved on. So when I read Ren's reply today it really struck me. Is there a difference between a child who starts reading earlier and one who does not? One of my cousins could not read until she was 16 and she was in school. She had lots of issues that prevented her from being able to focus on what was going on in school but she has gone on to college and received different medical certifications. I don't read her writing often but I have to believe what I always read here, people get it when they get it.

My hubby is not an unschooler. I don't talk about the radical unschooling lifestyle much with him, I just live it and accommodate him on the points that he gets most intense about. So I do just a little work on letters with my near 6 yr old to accommodate his wishes for "educational" activities to occur. I have no desire to push my son before he is ready to read. I trust in this process. I guess I am trying to figure out how I can provide info to my husband that will help him to understand that there are so many paths to learning that land us all in a place where we are actually functional people who can achieve whatever it is that we desire to achieve.

My hubby and I are corporate america meets tree hugger. What an interesting freakin' combination. :) Thank Goddess the tree hugger is running the home. LOL But seriously, I would appreciate any info and comments. Thank you in advance.

Namaste
Tyra

Manisha Kher

--- Tyra Olufemi <motherspirit@...> wrote:

> He said that what he has read is that if a
> child falls behind now that he will be behind
> forever.
This statement is true in the context of school. It
has no basis at all in unschooling or even relaxed
home-schooling where a kid is learning at his/her own
pace. The whole idea of "behind" is based on a
curriculum with a schedule.

Manisha


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Christine Jones

>>>>>>>>My hubby and I are corporate america meets tree hugger. <<<<<<<<<

That's us, too! ROFL! We are each other's 'engima'. He's all about technology and chrome and metal and clean and organized and every thing should be done a certain way. I'm all about, "Wow! The books are all scattered over the floor and the kids are right in the middle of them, looking at them! Isn't that wonderful!" He's "Grump! Pick up these books! They belong in the bookshelf! When you want to read a book, get it out, and put it right back where it belongs when you're done." I have a 10 yo and 8 yo. . .both still not reading. :-( . I have to admit. . . .it bothers me (only because I'm such a bibliophile). And it *really* bothers him. He works very hard and isn't all that involved in the workings of the home. That's really our 'salvation', and how we can cohabit successfully.


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Deb

--- In [email protected], Tyra Olufemi
<motherspirit@...> wrote:
>
> Just the other day my hubby said that he feels that my son needs
>to >learn how to do what is usually thought of as the foundational
>subjects and skills NOW. He said that what he has read is that if
>a >child falls behind now that he will be behind forever.

He's exactly right...if you're talking about school. And 180 degrees
from unschooling.

Consider:

in school, kids above K age (whatever that is where you are) are
expected to read and write their worksheets silently at their seat.
Homework is all 'bookwork' - reading and writing again, even for
arithmetic (gotta read the instructions, write the answers, etc). As
the grades go up, there's more reading, more writing, involved. So,
if one isn't reading up to speed by 7 or 8 yrs old, they will indeed
bog down very quickly and start losing ground or need to work very,
very hard to keep up.

At home, however, there is no "behind" - who can your son be behind
except himself? (I've heard of people being beside themselves but
never behind themselves lol). And, too, he is not expected to sit
and do worksheets and such on his own with little or no input from
you. Learning happens in the way and time that works best for him,
not what works 'on average' for the 'average' 6 yr old (that non-
existant average kid).

--Deb

Charlene Hertzberg

"Just the other day my hubby said that he feels that my son needs to learn how to do what is usually thought of as the foundational subjects and skills NOW. He said that what he has read is that if a child falls behind now that he will be behind forever."

I'm new to unschooling, but I've taught school for years. I can tell you this is very true IF your child is attending school. There's no magic age, it is just that they will get sooooo far behind in the classroom that they'll never be able to get caught up. Each year they just grow farther behind. It is quite sad. I've seen kids who got behind in kindergarten and have just spun their wheels since.

Your son has nothing to fall behind in though, so you have nothing to be concerned about. You're not going to move on anyways, you'll just do it when he's ready and teach him what he needs to know when he is there. He won't be ready to learn that letters have sounds and have you trying to teach him how to dissect a fascinating piece of literature (most likely dissecting until it has been so beat into the ground that those who can read it will wish they couldn't anyways). When what they learn is tailored to their needs, there is no right time and there is nothing to fall behind on.

Just my 2 cents.

Charlene


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Tyra Olufemi

Christine,

It is nice to know that there others out there making seeming differences work despite.

Peace
Tyra
From: Christine Jones <chris3jam@...>
Date: 2006/08/18 Fri AM 11:49:28 CDT
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Late readers WAS support!

>>>>>>>>My hubby and I are corporate america meets tree hugger. <<<<<<<<<

That's us, too! ROFL! We are each other's 'engima'. He's all about technology and chrome and metal and clean and organized and every thing should be done a certain way. I'm all about, "Wow! The books are all scattered over the floor and the kids are right in the middle of them, looking at them! Isn't that wonderful!" He's "Grump! Pick up these books! They belong in the bookshelf! When you want to read a book, get it out, and put it right back where it belongs when you're done." I have a 10 yo and 8 yo. . .both still not reading. :-( . I have to admit. . . .it bothers me (only because I'm such a bibliophile). And it *really* bothers him. He works very hard and isn't all that involved in the workings of the home. That's really our 'salvation', and how we can cohabit successfully.


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Tyra

Peace Manisha,

I figured as much. Just need to figure out how to translate this to
my husband in a scientific, researched based manner. LOL

Peace
Tyra

--- In [email protected], Manisha Kher <m_kher@...>
wrote:
>
> This statement is true in the context of school. It
> has no basis at all in unschooling or even relaxed
> home-schooling where a kid is learning at his/her own
> pace. The whole idea of "behind" is based on a
> curriculum with a schedule.
>
> Manisha
>
>
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
> http://mail.yahoo.com
>

Tyra

Thank you, Deb. Your answer really resonates with me and is helping
me to feel even more sure that all is well. I will have to pass on
this info to my hubby to let him marinate on it.

Peace and love
Tyra

--- In [email protected], "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
wrote:

>
> He's exactly right...if you're talking about school. And 180
degrees
> from unschooling.
>
> Consider:
>
> in school, kids above K age (whatever that is where you are) are
> expected to read and write their worksheets silently at their
seat.
> Homework is all 'bookwork' - reading and writing again, even for
> arithmetic (gotta read the instructions, write the answers, etc).
As
> the grades go up, there's more reading, more writing, involved.
So,
> if one isn't reading up to speed by 7 or 8 yrs old, they will
indeed
> bog down very quickly and start losing ground or need to work
very,
> very hard to keep up.
>
> At home, however, there is no "behind" - who can your son be
behind
> except himself? (I've heard of people being beside themselves but
> never behind themselves lol). And, too, he is not expected to sit
> and do worksheets and such on his own with little or no input from
> you. Learning happens in the way and time that works best for him,
> not what works 'on average' for the 'average' 6 yr old (that non-
> existant average kid).
>
> --Deb
>

Tyra

THank you for your input. Once again I feel so much better now that I
have an understanding of what my husband has said.

Much Love
Tyra

--- In [email protected], "Charlene Hertzberg"
<mrshertzberg@...> wrote:
> I'm new to unschooling, but I've taught school for years. I can
tell you this is very true IF your child is attending school. There's
no magic age, it is just that they will get sooooo far behind in the
classroom that they'll never be able to get caught up. Each year they
just grow farther behind. It is quite sad. I've seen kids who got
behind in kindergarten and have just spun their wheels since.
>
> Your son has nothing to fall behind in though, so you have nothing
to be concerned about.