support!
sasha_parkin
Hi - I've just joined this list as in need of some advice...
My husband and I have, in the last six months, decided to homeschool
our kids (son has just turned 5, daughter is only 2). After reading
quite a few books re.homeschooling, we have felt ourselves drawn to
unschooling. I have now read most of the John Holt books, and find it
an exciting and wonderful thing to observe my kids playing and learning.
However, I have this nagging feeling..... My son has just turned 5,
and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. My gut reaction is just
to continue reading to him (which we do on a daily basis and he
loves), and possibly to encourage his motor skills through finger
painting, etc, and then to basically let him continue with his
role-playing (and anything else)as much as he likes.
All you veteran unschoolers - will he eventually learn to read & write
in this way, am I doing the right thing? I really just want a bit of
support, and to know whether I should be encouraging him in other ways
(ie/ alphabet puzzles or books, etc....which quite frankly he is not
interested in!).
I have NO desire to pressurize him or make his learning dull....
Advice needed!
Thanks!
Sasha
My husband and I have, in the last six months, decided to homeschool
our kids (son has just turned 5, daughter is only 2). After reading
quite a few books re.homeschooling, we have felt ourselves drawn to
unschooling. I have now read most of the John Holt books, and find it
an exciting and wonderful thing to observe my kids playing and learning.
However, I have this nagging feeling..... My son has just turned 5,
and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. My gut reaction is just
to continue reading to him (which we do on a daily basis and he
loves), and possibly to encourage his motor skills through finger
painting, etc, and then to basically let him continue with his
role-playing (and anything else)as much as he likes.
All you veteran unschoolers - will he eventually learn to read & write
in this way, am I doing the right thing? I really just want a bit of
support, and to know whether I should be encouraging him in other ways
(ie/ alphabet puzzles or books, etc....which quite frankly he is not
interested in!).
I have NO desire to pressurize him or make his learning dull....
Advice needed!
Thanks!
Sasha
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 8/15/06, sasha_parkin <sasha@...> wrote:
did very little coloring at age 5. Even at age 6 she held a pencil
awkwardly. Now at age 11 she holds her pencil just fine and while her
writing isn't the neatest, it is legible and she *loves* to draw.
Your son is creatively expressing himself in a way that he can
physically and mentally handle. Continue reading to him if he enjoys
that and know that your child will learn to read when he is ready for
it. Some children learn earlier, some later, but there are just some
things that need to be in place first before true reading can happen.
There is a commercial here for a private church school that brags,
"All our 5yo's can read!" I would love to be able to take those kids
aside and find out if they really can read or if they are repeating a
process that has been taught to them. Reading is more than sounding
out letters to make words. I would bet that many of those children
are trained monkeys who have been taught a system of phonics (which
IMO has little to do with reading) but their true comprehension of
what they are "reading" is very minimal or is post-reading.
Anyway, enjoy your children where they are. They will get the skills
they need as they need them and when they are ready for them!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
> However, I have this nagging feeling..... My son has just turned 5,My middle child did not have the fine motor skills needed to write and
> and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
> his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
> very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
> or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult.
did very little coloring at age 5. Even at age 6 she held a pencil
awkwardly. Now at age 11 she holds her pencil just fine and while her
writing isn't the neatest, it is legible and she *loves* to draw.
Your son is creatively expressing himself in a way that he can
physically and mentally handle. Continue reading to him if he enjoys
that and know that your child will learn to read when he is ready for
it. Some children learn earlier, some later, but there are just some
things that need to be in place first before true reading can happen.
There is a commercial here for a private church school that brags,
"All our 5yo's can read!" I would love to be able to take those kids
aside and find out if they really can read or if they are repeating a
process that has been taught to them. Reading is more than sounding
out letters to make words. I would bet that many of those children
are trained monkeys who have been taught a system of phonics (which
IMO has little to do with reading) but their true comprehension of
what they are "reading" is very minimal or is post-reading.
Anyway, enjoy your children where they are. They will get the skills
they need as they need them and when they are ready for them!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
Deb
Yes, let him Be Himself. There's really no reason (outside of
school) for a 5 yr old to be reading to himself silently (which is
what school pushes). Let me ask you: did this nagging feeling start
before he turned 5 (like 9 months ago for instance) or only since he
turned "school age"? For that matter, do you know what 'school age'
is where you live? In some states, compulsory attendance doesn't
start until age 6 or 7 or 8. By all means have fun stuff around to
play with and explore - with NO strings attached. If you see some
neat colorful 50% off magnetic shape sets that include letters and
numbers, don't avoid them - grab them, if it looks fun, and set them
out on the fridge (or on a metal baking sheet or wherever) and leave
it. Letter magnets actually can make some cool looking aliens and
such without ever being "letters", they're just cool shapes.
It will all come when he is ready - whether it's now, in 6 months,
in a year or two or whatever. Maybe, if he's willing, be his
stenographer and transcribe his imaginative stories onto paper and
type them up for him and read them aloud to him whenever he wants.
Right now, my 8 yr old and I are making a comic book. I acted as
stenographer to write out the plotline for him since he can't write
fast enough to keep up with his thoughts (he's not yet a fast enough
keyboardist either, though that is coming along too). Then he's
drawing the characters and I'm his 'colorist' so he can get on with
the action and all and I just color each character as he has
determined (so-and-so wears a green shirt and blue pants,
the 'damsel in distress' wears a pink skirt and has blonde hair, and
so on). Certainly let him play with finger paints or playdough (at
the Northeast Unschooling conference there was a playdough funshop
with home made playdoughs using unsweetened koolaid as the color -
and it makes them scented too! The color doesn't cause as much mess
as using food coloring either). Make soft pretzels to go with soup
on a cool rainy day perhaps (really easy to do, recipes abound
online). All sorts of things to do for FUN. Maybe to help you adjust
the way you think about it, consider reading et al as "tools" for
his toolkit, skills that get him to a goal (reading a story he made
up or writing his name on a piece of artwork or whatever) rather
than ends in themselves (as they are in school). Do you go down and
pick out a hammer and hammer in a couple dozen nails each day "just
in case" you ever need to nail something together? Not likely
(unless you really just like pounding the heck out of them -
sometimes that's really good stress relief BTW). Rather, it is a
skill you work on when you have a need to do some carpentry work.
Reading is the same - a skill that helps with certain types of
tasks. Some homeschoolers think "We can bake cookies to learn
fractions and measurement in a fun way" Unschoolers think "Hey
cookies taste really good!" (and the learning is a side effect).
--Deb
school) for a 5 yr old to be reading to himself silently (which is
what school pushes). Let me ask you: did this nagging feeling start
before he turned 5 (like 9 months ago for instance) or only since he
turned "school age"? For that matter, do you know what 'school age'
is where you live? In some states, compulsory attendance doesn't
start until age 6 or 7 or 8. By all means have fun stuff around to
play with and explore - with NO strings attached. If you see some
neat colorful 50% off magnetic shape sets that include letters and
numbers, don't avoid them - grab them, if it looks fun, and set them
out on the fridge (or on a metal baking sheet or wherever) and leave
it. Letter magnets actually can make some cool looking aliens and
such without ever being "letters", they're just cool shapes.
It will all come when he is ready - whether it's now, in 6 months,
in a year or two or whatever. Maybe, if he's willing, be his
stenographer and transcribe his imaginative stories onto paper and
type them up for him and read them aloud to him whenever he wants.
Right now, my 8 yr old and I are making a comic book. I acted as
stenographer to write out the plotline for him since he can't write
fast enough to keep up with his thoughts (he's not yet a fast enough
keyboardist either, though that is coming along too). Then he's
drawing the characters and I'm his 'colorist' so he can get on with
the action and all and I just color each character as he has
determined (so-and-so wears a green shirt and blue pants,
the 'damsel in distress' wears a pink skirt and has blonde hair, and
so on). Certainly let him play with finger paints or playdough (at
the Northeast Unschooling conference there was a playdough funshop
with home made playdoughs using unsweetened koolaid as the color -
and it makes them scented too! The color doesn't cause as much mess
as using food coloring either). Make soft pretzels to go with soup
on a cool rainy day perhaps (really easy to do, recipes abound
online). All sorts of things to do for FUN. Maybe to help you adjust
the way you think about it, consider reading et al as "tools" for
his toolkit, skills that get him to a goal (reading a story he made
up or writing his name on a piece of artwork or whatever) rather
than ends in themselves (as they are in school). Do you go down and
pick out a hammer and hammer in a couple dozen nails each day "just
in case" you ever need to nail something together? Not likely
(unless you really just like pounding the heck out of them -
sometimes that's really good stress relief BTW). Rather, it is a
skill you work on when you have a need to do some carpentry work.
Reading is the same - a skill that helps with certain types of
tasks. Some homeschoolers think "We can bake cookies to learn
fractions and measurement in a fun way" Unschoolers think "Hey
cookies taste really good!" (and the learning is a side effect).
--Deb
Ren Allen
"My son has just turned 5,
and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. "
Normal on all counts.
I think the only reason there is ANY worry in parents, is that school
has tried to convince everyone that 5 year olds should be learning to
read and write at a certain level. PTOOEY! There is no magical age for
this stuff....people are all different.
My 5 year old does not know his alphabet, does not write any sensical
words (he has his own invented writing), has only written his own name
a couple of times and could care less about it right now. Focusing on
what he does not do, won't help me see all the cool things he IS doing
and learning though.:)
I have the benefit of also having a 12 y.o. that just learned to read
this last year, so I KNOW it will happen in it's own time and way. No
worries.
5 is very young. Reading and writing will come as life unfolds,
because he'll have a reason to use them at some point. Right now,
there isn't much need for him to use those skills. Unschooling kids
don't learn to read and write for future use, they learn it as a side
benefit of pursuing interests. That can happen at 3 or 5 or 8 or 12 or
15...it matters not, but it WILL happen.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. "
Normal on all counts.
I think the only reason there is ANY worry in parents, is that school
has tried to convince everyone that 5 year olds should be learning to
read and write at a certain level. PTOOEY! There is no magical age for
this stuff....people are all different.
My 5 year old does not know his alphabet, does not write any sensical
words (he has his own invented writing), has only written his own name
a couple of times and could care less about it right now. Focusing on
what he does not do, won't help me see all the cool things he IS doing
and learning though.:)
I have the benefit of also having a 12 y.o. that just learned to read
this last year, so I KNOW it will happen in it's own time and way. No
worries.
5 is very young. Reading and writing will come as life unfolds,
because he'll have a reason to use them at some point. Right now,
there isn't much need for him to use those skills. Unschooling kids
don't learn to read and write for future use, they learn it as a side
benefit of pursuing interests. That can happen at 3 or 5 or 8 or 12 or
15...it matters not, but it WILL happen.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Melissa
This is so interesting to me, another couple of moms on our local
homeschooling board was asking about what curriculum to use with a
five year old. So lately I've been thinking a lot about what five
year olds do with their time (I've had several, and Sam is five right
now). As well, since three of my kids have gone through public school
kindergarten, I've been trying to recall what it is exactly that they
do with that two hours a day, and wondering how someone could
possibly plan a curriculum for kindergarten. I'm not saying you are,
but I am saying that many people that I've spoken with lately are.
What I remember the older kids doing in kindergarten:
-circle time, in which they would go around the circle and greet each
other, state the day of the week, and answer a question that the
teacher presents (what's your favorite color, book, etc)
-journal time, in which they would draw or write whatever they wanted
in a spiral notebook
-play time, in which they would play with whatever toys were in the
room (and I know that Bre and Emily's teacher, had center's. They
were assigned, so the children were told WHICH toys they could play
with and when. This was to 'encourage' them to play with toys that
they normally wouldn't. Her specific concern was that many children
never opted for pretend play, which was important for development for
some reason.)
-craft time, in which they would follow the directions of the teacher
to cut, paste, color whatever paper the teacher had chosen
-potty time, in which they would practice lining up and walking down
the halls to the bathroom, followed by
-fountain time, in which they would line up to get a drink and
practice their "1,2,3" drink technique (to make it fair)
-recess time, in which you had twenty minutes to inflict what damage
you could on whomever would not share that blue crayon ;-)
-listening time, in which the teacher would read a book
-free play, in which they could choose the area they wanted to play in.
Most of each time was spent trying to get kids to comply. It's really
quite laughable, actually, because they all know what they want to be
doing, which is precisely what they *should* be doing in terms of
development. Urging them to do something else is really quite counter
to their brains. Anyway, like Rue (or was it Ren) some 'R' lady
(heee ;-) heee) was saying, did this come up once he became school
age? Is it a concern because you're worried what other people will
say? I don't doubt your concerns at all, was just wondering if there
was some external pressure coming up from somewhere for him to perform?
My first three might not be the best examples because they were in
PS, but they sound very similar to your son. Rachel was the first not
to go to kindie, but she was in preK, almost identical to kindie only
a little more compassionate about not conforming :-) She's always
been quite dexterous, but on the reading, she was the one who told me
quite angrily that 'You can't make me learn to read'. In my mind I
was just helping her sound out words, but she very much resented the
implication that she should be learning. At six and a half now, she's
picking up some of her favorite books and reading through them. Sam
is sounding out words, has very little fine motor control because he
doesn't really care to! He has great gross motor control, he runs,
kicks, balances etc. That's who he is, what he wants to be doing,
whereas Rachel is one to cuddle up for hours, experimenting with
lines and pencils and markers.
Rather than thinking of what you can provide to encourage those
perceived weaknesses, just think about what your son would enjoy
doing. Does he like fingerpainting? What about playdo or cutting and
pasting? If he doesn't like puzzles, he's not ready for them. You
could try to find puzzles in topics he likes. Sam doesn't like
puzzles except his four pack of dinosaur wooden puzzles. I didn't get
those for him to help him learn to sit or do fine motor, I bought
them because he loves all things dinosaurs. Empowering them and
allowing them to help around is to me the ideal way to help them. If
he likes role playing, make costumes for him. Have him help. He can
draw designs, or cut out stuff from catalogs or magazines that he
likes. He can help draw the pattern onto fabric. He can cut and sew
that with some help. (if you don't know how to sew, just experiment,
let him see you learning!) Let him make his play pieces, we have made
so many swords and shields and fairy wands from just about anything
you can imagine (paper mache, foam, paper towel rolls, egg cartons,
playdo, whittled firewood)
Anyway, I can't figure out where I was going with this, maybe just
trying to reassure you that kids don't need to be encouraged to do
things they don't want to do, but should be allowed to fill
themselves with what they do want, and encouraged to be who they are!
It's beautiful to watch!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
homeschooling board was asking about what curriculum to use with a
five year old. So lately I've been thinking a lot about what five
year olds do with their time (I've had several, and Sam is five right
now). As well, since three of my kids have gone through public school
kindergarten, I've been trying to recall what it is exactly that they
do with that two hours a day, and wondering how someone could
possibly plan a curriculum for kindergarten. I'm not saying you are,
but I am saying that many people that I've spoken with lately are.
What I remember the older kids doing in kindergarten:
-circle time, in which they would go around the circle and greet each
other, state the day of the week, and answer a question that the
teacher presents (what's your favorite color, book, etc)
-journal time, in which they would draw or write whatever they wanted
in a spiral notebook
-play time, in which they would play with whatever toys were in the
room (and I know that Bre and Emily's teacher, had center's. They
were assigned, so the children were told WHICH toys they could play
with and when. This was to 'encourage' them to play with toys that
they normally wouldn't. Her specific concern was that many children
never opted for pretend play, which was important for development for
some reason.)
-craft time, in which they would follow the directions of the teacher
to cut, paste, color whatever paper the teacher had chosen
-potty time, in which they would practice lining up and walking down
the halls to the bathroom, followed by
-fountain time, in which they would line up to get a drink and
practice their "1,2,3" drink technique (to make it fair)
-recess time, in which you had twenty minutes to inflict what damage
you could on whomever would not share that blue crayon ;-)
-listening time, in which the teacher would read a book
-free play, in which they could choose the area they wanted to play in.
Most of each time was spent trying to get kids to comply. It's really
quite laughable, actually, because they all know what they want to be
doing, which is precisely what they *should* be doing in terms of
development. Urging them to do something else is really quite counter
to their brains. Anyway, like Rue (or was it Ren) some 'R' lady
(heee ;-) heee) was saying, did this come up once he became school
age? Is it a concern because you're worried what other people will
say? I don't doubt your concerns at all, was just wondering if there
was some external pressure coming up from somewhere for him to perform?
My first three might not be the best examples because they were in
PS, but they sound very similar to your son. Rachel was the first not
to go to kindie, but she was in preK, almost identical to kindie only
a little more compassionate about not conforming :-) She's always
been quite dexterous, but on the reading, she was the one who told me
quite angrily that 'You can't make me learn to read'. In my mind I
was just helping her sound out words, but she very much resented the
implication that she should be learning. At six and a half now, she's
picking up some of her favorite books and reading through them. Sam
is sounding out words, has very little fine motor control because he
doesn't really care to! He has great gross motor control, he runs,
kicks, balances etc. That's who he is, what he wants to be doing,
whereas Rachel is one to cuddle up for hours, experimenting with
lines and pencils and markers.
Rather than thinking of what you can provide to encourage those
perceived weaknesses, just think about what your son would enjoy
doing. Does he like fingerpainting? What about playdo or cutting and
pasting? If he doesn't like puzzles, he's not ready for them. You
could try to find puzzles in topics he likes. Sam doesn't like
puzzles except his four pack of dinosaur wooden puzzles. I didn't get
those for him to help him learn to sit or do fine motor, I bought
them because he loves all things dinosaurs. Empowering them and
allowing them to help around is to me the ideal way to help them. If
he likes role playing, make costumes for him. Have him help. He can
draw designs, or cut out stuff from catalogs or magazines that he
likes. He can help draw the pattern onto fabric. He can cut and sew
that with some help. (if you don't know how to sew, just experiment,
let him see you learning!) Let him make his play pieces, we have made
so many swords and shields and fairy wands from just about anything
you can imagine (paper mache, foam, paper towel rolls, egg cartons,
playdo, whittled firewood)
Anyway, I can't figure out where I was going with this, maybe just
trying to reassure you that kids don't need to be encouraged to do
things they don't want to do, but should be allowed to fill
themselves with what they do want, and encouraged to be who they are!
It's beautiful to watch!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Aug 15, 2006, at 12:13 AM, sasha_parkin wrote:
> My son has just turned 5,
> and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
> his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
> very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
> or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. My gut reaction is just
> to continue reading to him (which we do on a daily basis and he
> loves), and possibly to encourage his motor skills through finger
> painting, etc, and then to basically let him continue with his
> role-playing (and anything else)as much as he likes.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sasha Sandenskog
Thanks for your support Melissa - I think I just wanted to be reassured that
I was doing the right thing with my son, in letting him choose his own way
forward - but I guess, now that he would be entering Kindergaten in
September, and all his friends around him (and actually more the mums!) are
talking about writing his name, learning to read and write, etc, etc, I
suppose I do feel some sort of pressue..
I think the main problem is that we have a lot of friends, but
no homeschoolers (let alone unschoolers!), and some of these friends do not
see the benefit of homeschooling, and try to convince me to change my
mind..which won't happen. Sometimes this makes life difficult.
We have
also made swords and treasure chests, etc, from boxes, etc, and actually
have just bought needles to learn to sew - so I think I'm going the right
direction!!
I'm definitely not into buying or planning a curriculum, and before I had
kids I was actually a preschool & kinder teacher, so I have a good idea of
the things kids do (and the time wasted doing a lot of them!), and I guess
that is part of the reason we have chosen to homeschool. Also that where we
live (Silicon Valley in CA) there is so much competition and pressure on
kids, that I find it quite scary!
Thanks for your support and ideas - it's good to know I should follow my gut
instinct!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 8:30 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] support!
This is so interesting to me, another couple of moms on our local
homeschooling board was asking about what curriculum to use with a
five year old. So lately I've been thinking a lot about what five
year olds do with their time (I've had several, and Sam is five right
now). As well, since three of my kids have gone through public school
kindergarten, I've been trying to recall what it is exactly that they
do with that two hours a day, and wondering how someone could
possibly plan a curriculum for kindergarten. I'm not saying you are,
but I am saying that many people that I've spoken with lately are.
What I remember the older kids doing in kindergarten:
-circle time, in which they would go around the circle and greet each
other, state the day of the week, and answer a question that the
teacher presents (what's your favorite color, book, etc)
-journal time, in which they would draw or write whatever they wanted
in a spiral notebook
-play time, in which they would play with whatever toys were in the
room (and I know that Bre and Emily's teacher, had center's. They
were assigned, so the children were told WHICH toys they could play
with and when. This was to 'encourage' them to play with toys that
they normally wouldn't. Her specific concern was that many children
never opted for pretend play, which was important for development for
some reason.)
-craft time, in which they would follow the directions of the teacher
to cut, paste, color whatever paper the teacher had chosen
-potty time, in which they would practice lining up and walking down
the halls to the bathroom, followed by
-fountain time, in which they would line up to get a drink and
practice their "1,2,3" drink technique (to make it fair)
-recess time, in which you had twenty minutes to inflict what damage
you could on whomever would not share that blue crayon ;-)
-listening time, in which the teacher would read a book
-free play, in which they could choose the area they wanted to play in.
Most of each time was spent trying to get kids to comply. It's really
quite laughable, actually, because they all know what they want to be
doing, which is precisely what they *should* be doing in terms of
development. Urging them to do something else is really quite counter
to their brains. Anyway, like Rue (or was it Ren) some 'R' lady
(heee ;-) heee) was saying, did this come up once he became school
age? Is it a concern because you're worried what other people will
say? I don't doubt your concerns at all, was just wondering if there
was some external pressure coming up from somewhere for him to perform?
My first three might not be the best examples because they were in
PS, but they sound very similar to your son. Rachel was the first not
to go to kindie, but she was in preK, almost identical to kindie only
a little more compassionate about not conforming :-) She's always
been quite dexterous, but on the reading, she was the one who told me
quite angrily that 'You can't make me learn to read'. In my mind I
was just helping her sound out words, but she very much resented the
implication that she should be learning. At six and a half now, she's
picking up some of her favorite books and reading through them. Sam
is sounding out words, has very little fine motor control because he
doesn't really care to! He has great gross motor control, he runs,
kicks, balances etc. That's who he is, what he wants to be doing,
whereas Rachel is one to cuddle up for hours, experimenting with
lines and pencils and markers.
Rather than thinking of what you can provide to encourage those
perceived weaknesses, just think about what your son would enjoy
doing. Does he like fingerpainting? What about playdo or cutting and
pasting? If he doesn't like puzzles, he's not ready for them. You
could try to find puzzles in topics he likes. Sam doesn't like
puzzles except his four pack of dinosaur wooden puzzles. I didn't get
those for him to help him learn to sit or do fine motor, I bought
them because he loves all things dinosaurs. Empowering them and
allowing them to help around is to me the ideal way to help them. If
he likes role playing, make costumes for him. Have him help. He can
draw designs, or cut out stuff from catalogs or magazines that he
likes. He can help draw the pattern onto fabric. He can cut and sew
that with some help. (if you don't know how to sew, just experiment,
let him see you learning!) Let him make his play pieces, we have made
so many swords and shields and fairy wands from just about anything
you can imagine (paper mache, foam, paper towel rolls, egg cartons,
playdo, whittled firewood)
Anyway, I can't figure out where I was going with this, maybe just
trying to reassure you that kids don't need to be encouraged to do
things they don't want to do, but should be allowed to fill
themselves with what they do want, and encouraged to be who they are!
It's beautiful to watch!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo <http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma> com/multimomma
I was doing the right thing with my son, in letting him choose his own way
forward - but I guess, now that he would be entering Kindergaten in
September, and all his friends around him (and actually more the mums!) are
talking about writing his name, learning to read and write, etc, etc, I
suppose I do feel some sort of pressue..
I think the main problem is that we have a lot of friends, but
no homeschoolers (let alone unschoolers!), and some of these friends do not
see the benefit of homeschooling, and try to convince me to change my
mind..which won't happen. Sometimes this makes life difficult.
We have
also made swords and treasure chests, etc, from boxes, etc, and actually
have just bought needles to learn to sew - so I think I'm going the right
direction!!
I'm definitely not into buying or planning a curriculum, and before I had
kids I was actually a preschool & kinder teacher, so I have a good idea of
the things kids do (and the time wasted doing a lot of them!), and I guess
that is part of the reason we have chosen to homeschool. Also that where we
live (Silicon Valley in CA) there is so much competition and pressure on
kids, that I find it quite scary!
Thanks for your support and ideas - it's good to know I should follow my gut
instinct!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Melissa
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 8:30 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] support!
This is so interesting to me, another couple of moms on our local
homeschooling board was asking about what curriculum to use with a
five year old. So lately I've been thinking a lot about what five
year olds do with their time (I've had several, and Sam is five right
now). As well, since three of my kids have gone through public school
kindergarten, I've been trying to recall what it is exactly that they
do with that two hours a day, and wondering how someone could
possibly plan a curriculum for kindergarten. I'm not saying you are,
but I am saying that many people that I've spoken with lately are.
What I remember the older kids doing in kindergarten:
-circle time, in which they would go around the circle and greet each
other, state the day of the week, and answer a question that the
teacher presents (what's your favorite color, book, etc)
-journal time, in which they would draw or write whatever they wanted
in a spiral notebook
-play time, in which they would play with whatever toys were in the
room (and I know that Bre and Emily's teacher, had center's. They
were assigned, so the children were told WHICH toys they could play
with and when. This was to 'encourage' them to play with toys that
they normally wouldn't. Her specific concern was that many children
never opted for pretend play, which was important for development for
some reason.)
-craft time, in which they would follow the directions of the teacher
to cut, paste, color whatever paper the teacher had chosen
-potty time, in which they would practice lining up and walking down
the halls to the bathroom, followed by
-fountain time, in which they would line up to get a drink and
practice their "1,2,3" drink technique (to make it fair)
-recess time, in which you had twenty minutes to inflict what damage
you could on whomever would not share that blue crayon ;-)
-listening time, in which the teacher would read a book
-free play, in which they could choose the area they wanted to play in.
Most of each time was spent trying to get kids to comply. It's really
quite laughable, actually, because they all know what they want to be
doing, which is precisely what they *should* be doing in terms of
development. Urging them to do something else is really quite counter
to their brains. Anyway, like Rue (or was it Ren) some 'R' lady
(heee ;-) heee) was saying, did this come up once he became school
age? Is it a concern because you're worried what other people will
say? I don't doubt your concerns at all, was just wondering if there
was some external pressure coming up from somewhere for him to perform?
My first three might not be the best examples because they were in
PS, but they sound very similar to your son. Rachel was the first not
to go to kindie, but she was in preK, almost identical to kindie only
a little more compassionate about not conforming :-) She's always
been quite dexterous, but on the reading, she was the one who told me
quite angrily that 'You can't make me learn to read'. In my mind I
was just helping her sound out words, but she very much resented the
implication that she should be learning. At six and a half now, she's
picking up some of her favorite books and reading through them. Sam
is sounding out words, has very little fine motor control because he
doesn't really care to! He has great gross motor control, he runs,
kicks, balances etc. That's who he is, what he wants to be doing,
whereas Rachel is one to cuddle up for hours, experimenting with
lines and pencils and markers.
Rather than thinking of what you can provide to encourage those
perceived weaknesses, just think about what your son would enjoy
doing. Does he like fingerpainting? What about playdo or cutting and
pasting? If he doesn't like puzzles, he's not ready for them. You
could try to find puzzles in topics he likes. Sam doesn't like
puzzles except his four pack of dinosaur wooden puzzles. I didn't get
those for him to help him learn to sit or do fine motor, I bought
them because he loves all things dinosaurs. Empowering them and
allowing them to help around is to me the ideal way to help them. If
he likes role playing, make costumes for him. Have him help. He can
draw designs, or cut out stuff from catalogs or magazines that he
likes. He can help draw the pattern onto fabric. He can cut and sew
that with some help. (if you don't know how to sew, just experiment,
let him see you learning!) Let him make his play pieces, we have made
so many swords and shields and fairy wands from just about anything
you can imagine (paper mache, foam, paper towel rolls, egg cartons,
playdo, whittled firewood)
Anyway, I can't figure out where I was going with this, maybe just
trying to reassure you that kids don't need to be encouraged to do
things they don't want to do, but should be allowed to fill
themselves with what they do want, and encouraged to be who they are!
It's beautiful to watch!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo <http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma> com/multimomma
On Aug 15, 2006, at 12:13 AM, sasha_parkin wrote:
> My son has just turned 5,
> and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
> his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
> very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
> or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. My gut reaction is just
> to continue reading to him (which we do on a daily basis and he
> loves), and possibly to encourage his motor skills through finger
> painting, etc, and then to basically let him continue with his
> role-playing (and anything else)as much as he likes.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sasha Sandenskog
Thanks for your support - exactly what I needed!
I will go with my gut instinct and just let him play play play!!!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] support!
"My son has just turned 5,
and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. "
Normal on all counts.
I think the only reason there is ANY worry in parents, is that school
has tried to convince everyone that 5 year olds should be learning to
read and write at a certain level. PTOOEY! There is no magical age for
this stuff....people are all different.
My 5 year old does not know his alphabet, does not write any sensical
words (he has his own invented writing), has only written his own name
a couple of times and could care less about it right now. Focusing on
what he does not do, won't help me see all the cool things he IS doing
and learning though.:)
I have the benefit of also having a 12 y.o. that just learned to read
this last year, so I KNOW it will happen in it's own time and way. No
worries.
5 is very young. Reading and writing will come as life unfolds,
because he'll have a reason to use them at some point. Right now,
there isn't much need for him to use those skills. Unschooling kids
don't learn to read and write for future use, they learn it as a side
benefit of pursuing interests. That can happen at 3 or 5 or 8 or 12 or
15...it matters not, but it WILL happen.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I will go with my gut instinct and just let him play play play!!!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Ren Allen
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:43 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] support!
"My son has just turned 5,
and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult. "
Normal on all counts.
I think the only reason there is ANY worry in parents, is that school
has tried to convince everyone that 5 year olds should be learning to
read and write at a certain level. PTOOEY! There is no magical age for
this stuff....people are all different.
My 5 year old does not know his alphabet, does not write any sensical
words (he has his own invented writing), has only written his own name
a couple of times and could care less about it right now. Focusing on
what he does not do, won't help me see all the cool things he IS doing
and learning though.:)
I have the benefit of also having a 12 y.o. that just learned to read
this last year, so I KNOW it will happen in it's own time and way. No
worries.
5 is very young. Reading and writing will come as life unfolds,
because he'll have a reason to use them at some point. Right now,
there isn't much need for him to use those skills. Unschooling kids
don't learn to read and write for future use, they learn it as a side
benefit of pursuing interests. That can happen at 3 or 5 or 8 or 12 or
15...it matters not, but it WILL happen.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sasha Sandenskog
Thanks for your support - and for your fantastic ideas!!!!!
It's good to know there is support out there!
Thank you , thank you thank you!
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Deb
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:29 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: support!
Yes, let him Be Himself. There's really no reason (outside of
school) for a 5 yr old to be reading to himself silently (which is
what school pushes). Let me ask you: did this nagging feeling start
before he turned 5 (like 9 months ago for instance) or only since he
turned "school age"? For that matter, do you know what 'school age'
is where you live? In some states, compulsory attendance doesn't
start until age 6 or 7 or 8. By all means have fun stuff around to
play with and explore - with NO strings attached. If you see some
neat colorful 50% off magnetic shape sets that include letters and
numbers, don't avoid them - grab them, if it looks fun, and set them
out on the fridge (or on a metal baking sheet or wherever) and leave
it. Letter magnets actually can make some cool looking aliens and
such without ever being "letters", they're just cool shapes.
It will all come when he is ready - whether it's now, in 6 months,
in a year or two or whatever. Maybe, if he's willing, be his
stenographer and transcribe his imaginative stories onto paper and
type them up for him and read them aloud to him whenever he wants.
Right now, my 8 yr old and I are making a comic book. I acted as
stenographer to write out the plotline for him since he can't write
fast enough to keep up with his thoughts (he's not yet a fast enough
keyboardist either, though that is coming along too). Then he's
drawing the characters and I'm his 'colorist' so he can get on with
the action and all and I just color each character as he has
determined (so-and-so wears a green shirt and blue pants,
the 'damsel in distress' wears a pink skirt and has blonde hair, and
so on). Certainly let him play with finger paints or playdough (at
the Northeast Unschooling conference there was a playdough funshop
with home made playdoughs using unsweetened koolaid as the color -
and it makes them scented too! The color doesn't cause as much mess
as using food coloring either). Make soft pretzels to go with soup
on a cool rainy day perhaps (really easy to do, recipes abound
online). All sorts of things to do for FUN. Maybe to help you adjust
the way you think about it, consider reading et al as "tools" for
his toolkit, skills that get him to a goal (reading a story he made
up or writing his name on a piece of artwork or whatever) rather
than ends in themselves (as they are in school). Do you go down and
pick out a hammer and hammer in a couple dozen nails each day "just
in case" you ever need to nail something together? Not likely
(unless you really just like pounding the heck out of them -
sometimes that's really good stress relief BTW). Rather, it is a
skill you work on when you have a need to do some carpentry work.
Reading is the same - a skill that helps with certain types of
tasks. Some homeschoolers think "We can bake cookies to learn
fractions and measurement in a fun way" Unschoolers think "Hey
cookies taste really good!" (and the learning is a side effect).
--Deb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
It's good to know there is support out there!
Thank you , thank you thank you!
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Deb
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:29 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: support!
Yes, let him Be Himself. There's really no reason (outside of
school) for a 5 yr old to be reading to himself silently (which is
what school pushes). Let me ask you: did this nagging feeling start
before he turned 5 (like 9 months ago for instance) or only since he
turned "school age"? For that matter, do you know what 'school age'
is where you live? In some states, compulsory attendance doesn't
start until age 6 or 7 or 8. By all means have fun stuff around to
play with and explore - with NO strings attached. If you see some
neat colorful 50% off magnetic shape sets that include letters and
numbers, don't avoid them - grab them, if it looks fun, and set them
out on the fridge (or on a metal baking sheet or wherever) and leave
it. Letter magnets actually can make some cool looking aliens and
such without ever being "letters", they're just cool shapes.
It will all come when he is ready - whether it's now, in 6 months,
in a year or two or whatever. Maybe, if he's willing, be his
stenographer and transcribe his imaginative stories onto paper and
type them up for him and read them aloud to him whenever he wants.
Right now, my 8 yr old and I are making a comic book. I acted as
stenographer to write out the plotline for him since he can't write
fast enough to keep up with his thoughts (he's not yet a fast enough
keyboardist either, though that is coming along too). Then he's
drawing the characters and I'm his 'colorist' so he can get on with
the action and all and I just color each character as he has
determined (so-and-so wears a green shirt and blue pants,
the 'damsel in distress' wears a pink skirt and has blonde hair, and
so on). Certainly let him play with finger paints or playdough (at
the Northeast Unschooling conference there was a playdough funshop
with home made playdoughs using unsweetened koolaid as the color -
and it makes them scented too! The color doesn't cause as much mess
as using food coloring either). Make soft pretzels to go with soup
on a cool rainy day perhaps (really easy to do, recipes abound
online). All sorts of things to do for FUN. Maybe to help you adjust
the way you think about it, consider reading et al as "tools" for
his toolkit, skills that get him to a goal (reading a story he made
up or writing his name on a piece of artwork or whatever) rather
than ends in themselves (as they are in school). Do you go down and
pick out a hammer and hammer in a couple dozen nails each day "just
in case" you ever need to nail something together? Not likely
(unless you really just like pounding the heck out of them -
sometimes that's really good stress relief BTW). Rather, it is a
skill you work on when you have a need to do some carpentry work.
Reading is the same - a skill that helps with certain types of
tasks. Some homeschoolers think "We can bake cookies to learn
fractions and measurement in a fun way" Unschoolers think "Hey
cookies taste really good!" (and the learning is a side effect).
--Deb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Sasha Sandenskog
Thanks so much for your support its so good to know there are people out
there who understand what I am feeling and dont make me feel like the worst
mum! And you are right he is being very creative!
Thank you!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Michelle/Melbrigða
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:16 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] support!
On 8/15/06, sasha_parkin <sasha@sandenskog. <mailto:sasha%40sandenskog.se>
se> wrote:
did very little coloring at age 5. Even at age 6 she held a pencil
awkwardly. Now at age 11 she holds her pencil just fine and while her
writing isn't the neatest, it is legible and she *loves* to draw.
Your son is creatively expressing himself in a way that he can
physically and mentally handle. Continue reading to him if he enjoys
that and know that your child will learn to read when he is ready for
it. Some children learn earlier, some later, but there are just some
things that need to be in place first before true reading can happen.
There is a commercial here for a private church school that brags,
"All our 5yo's can read!" I would love to be able to take those kids
aside and find out if they really can read or if they are repeating a
process that has been taught to them. Reading is more than sounding
out letters to make words. I would bet that many of those children
are trained monkeys who have been taught a system of phonics (which
IMO has little to do with reading) but their true comprehension of
what they are "reading" is very minimal or is post-reading.
Anyway, enjoy your children where they are. They will get the skills
they need as they need them and when they are ready for them!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknit <http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com> ting.blogspot.com
MedHS@yahoogroups. <mailto:MedHS%40yahoogroups.com> com - Homeschooling for
the Medieval Recreationist
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
there who understand what I am feeling and dont make me feel like the worst
mum! And you are right he is being very creative!
Thank you!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Michelle/Melbrigða
Sent: Tuesday, August 15, 2006 7:16 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] support!
On 8/15/06, sasha_parkin <sasha@sandenskog. <mailto:sasha%40sandenskog.se>
se> wrote:
> However, I have this nagging feeling..... My son has just turned 5,My middle child did not have the fine motor skills needed to write and
> and spends the majority of his time role-playing in various ways with
> his sister, many friends and on his own. He loves doing this and is
> very happy. He has very little interest in learning to read and write
> or drawing, and finds holding a pen difficult.
did very little coloring at age 5. Even at age 6 she held a pencil
awkwardly. Now at age 11 she holds her pencil just fine and while her
writing isn't the neatest, it is legible and she *loves* to draw.
Your son is creatively expressing himself in a way that he can
physically and mentally handle. Continue reading to him if he enjoys
that and know that your child will learn to read when he is ready for
it. Some children learn earlier, some later, but there are just some
things that need to be in place first before true reading can happen.
There is a commercial here for a private church school that brags,
"All our 5yo's can read!" I would love to be able to take those kids
aside and find out if they really can read or if they are repeating a
process that has been taught to them. Reading is more than sounding
out letters to make words. I would bet that many of those children
are trained monkeys who have been taught a system of phonics (which
IMO has little to do with reading) but their true comprehension of
what they are "reading" is very minimal or is post-reading.
Anyway, enjoy your children where they are. They will get the skills
they need as they need them and when they are ready for them!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknit <http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com> ting.blogspot.com
MedHS@yahoogroups. <mailto:MedHS%40yahoogroups.com> com - Homeschooling for
the Medieval Recreationist
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Manisha Kher
--- Sasha Sandenskog <sasha@...> wrote:
to find like-minded people.
Also, there are things I simply do not talk about with
my old friends. Homeschooling/unschooling is one of
them. All of them have friends in school. Most of them
are more pushy than I want to be. I haven't found a
good way to talk about unschooling without getting
everyone all defensive and worked up. So I don't.
Manisha
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
> I think the main problem is that weHave you joined local homeschooling groups? It's good
> have a lot of friends, but
> no homeschoolers (let alone unschoolers!), and some
> of these friends do not
> see the benefit of homeschooling, and try to
> convince me to change my
> mind..which won't happen. Sometimes this makes life
> difficult.
>
to find like-minded people.
Also, there are things I simply do not talk about with
my old friends. Homeschooling/unschooling is one of
them. All of them have friends in school. Most of them
are more pushy than I want to be. I haven't found a
good way to talk about unschooling without getting
everyone all defensive and worked up. So I don't.
Manisha
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
John and Amanda Slater
When I worry about reading with school children, I look at children in school. My ds has a friend 6 who is in public school. I believe she is reading like most of her classmates. She can sound out words and "read." However it is slow and painful and does not seem like fun. I do not want my son to experience anything like that.
Amanda
Eli 5 Samuel 3.5
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Amanda
Eli 5 Samuel 3.5
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Betsy Hill
**and I guess
that is part of the reason we have chosen to homeschool. Also that
where we live (Silicon Valley in CA) there is so much competition and
pressure on kids, that I find it quite scary!**
Hi, Sasha --
I was at a park day in Santa Clara yesterday from 2 to 7:30pm. It was
lovely out, a little breezy and not hot. I love watching the kids
play together.
Feel free to email me offlist if you would like info about the group.
(I will be away tomorrow through Sunday at the Sacramento conference,
and will be away from my computer for those days, but I'll get back to
you eventually.)
I find hanging out with other homeschooling parents to be a great
source of emotional comfort, whether it's online or face to face.
Betsy
that is part of the reason we have chosen to homeschool. Also that
where we live (Silicon Valley in CA) there is so much competition and
pressure on kids, that I find it quite scary!**
Hi, Sasha --
I was at a park day in Santa Clara yesterday from 2 to 7:30pm. It was
lovely out, a little breezy and not hot. I love watching the kids
play together.
Feel free to email me offlist if you would like info about the group.
(I will be away tomorrow through Sunday at the Sacramento conference,
and will be away from my computer for those days, but I'll get back to
you eventually.)
I find hanging out with other homeschooling parents to be a great
source of emotional comfort, whether it's online or face to face.
Betsy
Sasha Sandenskog
Hi
I almost think that is actually part of the problem - it is very hard trying
to convince old friends that I am not a terrible mum, etc, without getting
really argumentative and ending up making them feel bad about sending their
own kids to school! I havn't even mentioned un-schooling yet!!!
I actually joined a local group yesterday, so will meet with
them next week. I havn't joined any before because my kids were still so
young, and we were busy with their friends of preschool age, so no questions
asked.but now ds is due to start kinder it's all very different!
The most classic thing that has been
said was "but I worry about you", and when I asked why, the answer was "it
seems such a waste of your time" !!!! I replied "how can spending time with
your own kids be a waste of your time???"
I think I will do as you do, and not even mention it!!!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Manisha Kher
Sent: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 8:22 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] support!
--- Sasha Sandenskog <sasha@sandenskog. <mailto:sasha%40sandenskog.se> se>
wrote:
to find like-minded people.
Also, there are things I simply do not talk about with
my old friends. Homeschooling/unschooling is one of
them. All of them have friends in school. Most of them
are more pushy than I want to be. I haven't found a
good way to talk about unschooling without getting
everyone all defensive and worked up. So I don't.
Manisha
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail. <http://mail.yahoo.com> yahoo.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I almost think that is actually part of the problem - it is very hard trying
to convince old friends that I am not a terrible mum, etc, without getting
really argumentative and ending up making them feel bad about sending their
own kids to school! I havn't even mentioned un-schooling yet!!!
I actually joined a local group yesterday, so will meet with
them next week. I havn't joined any before because my kids were still so
young, and we were busy with their friends of preschool age, so no questions
asked.but now ds is due to start kinder it's all very different!
The most classic thing that has been
said was "but I worry about you", and when I asked why, the answer was "it
seems such a waste of your time" !!!! I replied "how can spending time with
your own kids be a waste of your time???"
I think I will do as you do, and not even mention it!!!
Sasha
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Manisha Kher
Sent: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 8:22 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] support!
--- Sasha Sandenskog <sasha@sandenskog. <mailto:sasha%40sandenskog.se> se>
wrote:
> I think the main problem is that weHave you joined local homeschooling groups? It's good
> have a lot of friends, but
> no homeschoolers (let alone unschoolers!), and some
> of these friends do not
> see the benefit of homeschooling, and try to
> convince me to change my
> mind..which won't happen. Sometimes this makes life
> difficult.
>
to find like-minded people.
Also, there are things I simply do not talk about with
my old friends. Homeschooling/unschooling is one of
them. All of them have friends in school. Most of them
are more pushy than I want to be. I haven't found a
good way to talk about unschooling without getting
everyone all defensive and worked up. So I don't.
Manisha
__________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 8/16/06, Sasha Sandenskog <sasha@...> wrote:
well. How to talk about this wonderful thing you have discovered that
you really think all kids should have access to, but without making
your friends that chose differently for feeling like they are being
judged for making a "poor" (IYO) choice. :) The phrase that I found
that works really well is, "This is what is working for our family."
I have found I have fewer and fewer friends that use traditional
schooling. Partly because I have so little in commmon with them now
and partly because I need to surround myself with people who are where
I am. Now if you would like to move down here ....... :)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
> HiThis is a common problem that a lot of breastfeeding moms run inot as
>
> I almost think that is actually part of the problem - it is very hard trying
> to convince old friends that I am not a terrible mum, etc, without getting
> really argumentative and ending up making them feel bad about sending their
> own kids to school! I havn't even mentioned un-schooling yet!!!
>
well. How to talk about this wonderful thing you have discovered that
you really think all kids should have access to, but without making
your friends that chose differently for feeling like they are being
judged for making a "poor" (IYO) choice. :) The phrase that I found
that works really well is, "This is what is working for our family."
I have found I have fewer and fewer friends that use traditional
schooling. Partly because I have so little in commmon with them now
and partly because I need to surround myself with people who are where
I am. Now if you would like to move down here ....... :)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
Sasha Sandenskog
Yes! It would be good to have more like minded people around!!!
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Michelle/Melbrigða
Sent: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 7:39 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] support!
On 8/16/06, Sasha Sandenskog <sasha@sandenskog.
<mailto:sasha%40sandenskog.se> se> wrote:
well. How to talk about this wonderful thing you have discovered that
you really think all kids should have access to, but without making
your friends that chose differently for feeling like they are being
judged for making a "poor" (IYO) choice. :) The phrase that I found
that works really well is, "This is what is working for our family."
I have found I have fewer and fewer friends that use traditional
schooling. Partly because I have so little in commmon with them now
and partly because I need to surround myself with people who are where
I am. Now if you would like to move down here ....... :)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknit <http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com> ting.blogspot.com
MedHS@yahoogroups. <mailto:MedHS%40yahoogroups.com> com - Homeschooling for
the Medieval Recreationist
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Michelle/Melbrigða
Sent: Wednesday, August 16, 2006 7:39 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] support!
On 8/16/06, Sasha Sandenskog <sasha@sandenskog.
<mailto:sasha%40sandenskog.se> se> wrote:
> Hitrying
>
> I almost think that is actually part of the problem - it is very hard
> to convince old friends that I am not a terrible mum, etc, without gettingtheir
> really argumentative and ending up making them feel bad about sending
> own kids to school! I havn't even mentioned un-schooling yet!!!This is a common problem that a lot of breastfeeding moms run inot as
>
well. How to talk about this wonderful thing you have discovered that
you really think all kids should have access to, but without making
your friends that chose differently for feeling like they are being
judged for making a "poor" (IYO) choice. :) The phrase that I found
that works really well is, "This is what is working for our family."
I have found I have fewer and fewer friends that use traditional
schooling. Partly because I have so little in commmon with them now
and partly because I need to surround myself with people who are where
I am. Now if you would like to move down here ....... :)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknit <http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com> ting.blogspot.com
MedHS@yahoogroups. <mailto:MedHS%40yahoogroups.com> com - Homeschooling for
the Medieval Recreationist
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]