Ren Allen

"we have always
enjoyed the quiet time to ourselves after the kids are in bed to read,
research on the net, answer emails, play games, watch movies with
hubby, etc...are we going to loose that down time that I think I
really need if I don't have the kids in bed at a certain time?"

This is one of those huge "it depends" issues.

Are your children tired at the time you help them transition to sleep?
There's nothing wrong with having a "bedtime" routine to help kids
transition to sleep....young children usually need that. Are they
wanting to stay up, or happily laying down with you?

I guess my big thing, is having a certain TIME for bed is less
important than helping people sleep when they're tired. If everyone is
happy, not asking to stay up, maybe don't rock the boat too much just
yet.:)

It depends.
If it hits that "calm down" time of the evening and someone is engaged
and wants to keep at the activity, is the bedtime more important or
the activity? If you're being open to helping them continue any
activities they might choose, rather than putting your quiet/alone
time ahead of their needs (not that your needs don't matter) then I'd
say don't worry about it so much. Maybe everyone is tired about the
same time each night for now...just be open to change.

Everyone in our household has a different sleep pattern these days.
Being open to change and flow is the best way to adapt as children
grow older and more autnonomous. You can still find ways to enjoy time
together as a couple, you just have to get more creative at certain
phases in life.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com