Maisha Khalfani

I'm still a newbie too, by the way. But I just wanted to let you
know that radical unschool works! It does. It's hard, it takes
patience. It knocks your world upside down, but it works.

Last night my 6 yr old son, who could be labeled an aspie, was
having one of his tantrums. Normally I start shutting him down to
try and 'teach' him how to behave properly (what an oxymoron!).
This time instead of blowing up at him, I was honest and I let him
know that I was getting angry (the issue was he used the toilet and
didn't want to flush it) and I didn't want to talk about it.

Anyway....he went upstairs, flushed the toilet, and came back
downstairs later and hugged me and said "I'm sorry for yelling
mommy. You're the best mommy ever." I was floored!!! I told him
thank you.

Now, can someone help me to help him see why he needs to flush the
toilet??? LOL

Maisha
Khalfani Family Adventures at blogger.com

marji

At 10:36 8/2/2006, you wrote:

>Anyway....he went upstairs, flushed the toilet, and came back
>downstairs later and hugged me and said "I'm sorry for yelling
>mommy. You're the best mommy ever." I was floored!!! I told him
>thank you.

Cool!!

>Now, can someone help me to help him see why he needs to flush the
>toilet??? LOL

In the interest of saving H2O and our septic system, we live by this:

"If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down."

If someone goes into the bathroom and sees that the contents are too
mellow, we just flush the toilet. No biggie. It's certainly not
worth any angst!

Marji, maybe a little too crunch, but I yam what I yam. :-)



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Lesa ODaniel

<<From: "Maisha Khalfani" <earthspirit393@...
Now, can someone help me to help him see why he needs to flush the
toilet??? LOL>>

In our house we follow the motto: "If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's
brown, flush it down" and our 2.5 year old son loves to flush everybody's
*browns*. I don't know if I'm the best person to help you understand why
it's important to flush all the time...

Lesa O'Daniel, AAHCC
Instructor, Bradley Method� of Natural Childbirth
323-541-5515
http://www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=O123&Count=N

_________________________________________________________________
Don�t just search. Find. Check out the new MSN Search!
http://search.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200636ave/direct/01/

Danielle Conger

marji wrote:

> In the interest of saving H2O and our septic system, we live by this:
>
> "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down."
>
> If someone goes into the bathroom and sees that the contents are too
> mellow, we just flush the toilet. No biggie. It's certainly not
> worth any angst!
>

Yes, this is our policy, too.

In terms of the OP, perhaps consider he might have sensitivity issues.
One of mine *hates* loud noises and often doesn't like to flush at home
and downright refuses in public restrooms with the huge whooosh! She
just steps out of the stall and covers her ears while I flush for her.


--
~~Danielle
Emily (8), Julia (7), Sam (6)
http://www.organiclearning.blogspot.com

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Connections: ezine of unschooling and mindful parenting
http://connections.organiclearning.org

marji

At 12:52 8/2/2006, you wrote:
>In terms of the OP, perhaps consider he might have sensitivity issues.
>One of mine *hates* loud noises and often doesn't like to flush at home
>and downright refuses in public restrooms with the huge whooosh! She
>just steps out of the stall and covers her ears while I flush for her.

Well, this brings me back. I'm remembering now
that when I was a wee one and was attending
kindergarten, I was scared sh*tless (pun
intended) of those oversized toilets there! I
was sure I would fall in 'cause they were so
big! And that whoosh!! Yikes!!! I was so
afraid, in fact, that I absolutely refused to use
them and would prefer to either wait and do my
bidness at home or ... well, you know (suffice to
say, I rarely was able to make it that long, if
ever). I had a lot of accidents because of this
fear, and it was *very* humiliating. (Probably
cost me a fiancé, too; I was engaged to young
Stephen B. back then, but he might have changed
his mind when he saw how incontinent I was. But
I digress.) Finally, after way too long of all
that, my folks and Mrs. Baum, my K teacher, and
the school nurse put their heads together and
figured out that they could let me use the
commode in the nurse's office, which was more like a home commode.

But, you know, as stubborn and frightened as I
was about it back then, I seem to have no fears
or problems with those kinds of toilets today,
and, in fact, I grew out of that fear pretty
quickly, probably by the time I was 7! I was
bound to and I most likely would have no matter
what, whether I had been treated compassionately
or whether I had been ridiculed and shamed (which
I was). Therefore, (warning: rhetorical question
alert) why not be compassionate to little folks
when they're going through their issues? Why not
hold a safe space for them to feel good about
themselves as they move themselves through
whatever it is they have to move through?

Marji, who's literally simmering in this heat -
stick a fork in me; I think I'm done! (not
complaining, though; I reserve my right to
complain about the other end of the temperature spectrum!)


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Pamela Sorooshian

On Aug 2, 2006, at 7:36 AM, Maisha Khalfani wrote:

> Now, can someone help me to help him see why he needs to flush the
> toilet??? LOL

He doesn't. There are options. He can come tell you that he used it
and you can go flush it. It can just sit there until the next person
needs it and they can flush it. The phrase "he needs to" is often an
indicator that a parent isn't recognizing a kid's actual needs, by
the way. So - are you aware of why he isn't flushing? Are you trying
to find a way to give him what HE needs?

A couple of my kids went through a period of time of not wanting to
flush the toilet. I just sort of walked through the bathroom every
once in a while and flushed, if it needed it. Didn't turn it into a
power struggle, didn't make any kind of point about it. And then one
day noticed that they'd started flushing.

-pam

Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>





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Michelle/Melbrigða

On 8/2/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>
> Now, can someone help me to help him see why he needs to flush the
> toilet??? LOL


Keon is always in too much of a hurry to flush the toilet. I didn't mind
him not flushing it once or twice, but after that it really needs to be
flushed just for clearing the air. :) One thing that I did for him was
laminated the word FLUSH (Stamped in really big colorful letters) and taped
it right at eye level. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. Another
thing that we will do periodically is to remind him as we see him headed for
the bathroom. "Flush please!" And for those times that I have passed his
bathroom and been overwhelmed, I will simple go in and flush. One thing
that has helped is we purchased a KaBoom system for the tank (doesn't
corrode the toilet "innards" like the bleach tablets). So the toilet stays
cleaner than before even with his sporadic flushing

Remember, his lack of flushing is upsetting you not him, which means that it
is your problem not his. :)





--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist


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riasplace3

--- In [email protected], Danielle Conger
<danielle.conger@...> wrote:
> One of mine *hates* loud noises and often doesn't like to flush at
home
> and downright refuses in public restrooms with the huge whooosh! She
> just steps out of the stall and covers her ears while I flush for
her.

My youngest once had a public toilet overflow when she flushed it.
She is now frightened of them and I flush for her. Not a big
deal...certaintly not worth worrying about. Will it matter in 10
years?
BTW, I am Ria...unschooling mom to 2 lovely daughters. Just newly
joined here.

Melissa

Heehee....my best friend will NOT flush a public toilet. When we're
shopping together, she always asks me to do it. She'll do it if she
has to, but she'd rather not and I'd like to think we're practically
sisters.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (9), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (5), Dan
(3), and Avari Rose

share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma



On Aug 2, 2006, at 6:42 PM, riasplace3 wrote:
>
> My youngest once had a public toilet overflow when she flushed it.
> She is now frightened of them and I flush for her. Not a big
> deal...certaintly not worth worrying about. Will it matter in 10
> years?
> BTW, I am Ria...unschooling mom to 2 lovely daughters. Just newly
> joined here.
>
>
>
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

jlh44music

marji <marji@...> wrote:

> In the interest of saving H2O and our septic system, we live by this:

> "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down."

> If someone goes into the bathroom and sees that the contents are too
mellow, we just flush the toilet. No biggie. It's certainly not
worth any angst!>>

We have the same motto here. Our town has septic systems, not town
sewerage, so it cuts down on water to not flush every single time.
Jann

Michelle/Melbrigða

On 8/2/06, Melissa <autismhelp@...> wrote:
>
> Heehee....my best friend will NOT flush a public toilet. When we're
> shopping together, she always asks me to do it. She'll do it if she
> has to, but she'd rather not and I'd like to think we're practically
> sisters.


I can understand that LOL!! I will use my foot most of the time to flush
public toilets. At Disney they have automatic toilets. The first time we
went after Mary Elayne was using the potty I would have to stand in the
stall with her and put my hand over the eye bending in shapes that I just
was not meant to be bending. After that we bought a pack of sticky notes
and even now at almost 11 she still won't use an automatic toilet without a
sticky. She'll be damned if she is going to have another toilet flush while
she is sitting on it. I generally have to go in, put the sticky note over
the eye, she goes in and does her business and then I remove the sticky note
waving it in front of the eye to make it flush and depositing the sticky
note in the trash. We even keep a pad of sticky notes in the car for those
times when we have to use rest area bathrooms while on the road.





--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist


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