access to family funds
gvrcdkv
Hi to everyone,
I have another question. How do you unschoolers and your
families handle the question of money management within the family?
In other words.. do the children have access to a portion of the
family's moneyflow? Would this be contingent upon anything? (i.e.
age, or contribution in some way or some share in the family's
workload?) I like the idea of my children having access to money,
and getting practice with it and having the right to determine how
to spend it. I'm not sure how I feel about an automatic right to
money which is not connected with earning it in any way, and I also
dislike the idea of payment for participation in any family
activity. Is it simply a matter of sharing? Do the children hold
outside jobs? What about young children? Mine are 5 and 3. What
boundaries, if any, would naturally exist pertaining to the family
funds? I love to purchase items for my children when possible if I
believe they are needed, or if the children make a good case for
them, but tend to leave the redundant toy purchases (requested by my
children) to the grandparents. I do like the idea of my children
having the chance to manage their own money, and make independent
decisions about it. I just can't figure out a good system or
outlook on how they should acquire income, and whether there should
be a regular schedule for this, or specific amounts specified. In
many families, "allowance" becomes a reward/punishment system, and I
don't want this. I also don't want to have the transfer of money
constitute a value judgement about my child's level of contribution
to the family. Yet, I don't want to create the impression that
money is free or unlimited. Are your children involved in the
decisions about the larger family budget? If so, how do you juggle
so many potential opinions, and do you ultimately, as parents, have
the last word about it? I'd like an idea of the possible range of
positions held by unschoolers on this issue, and so ask for your
comments. Thanks again.
-Carolyn
I have another question. How do you unschoolers and your
families handle the question of money management within the family?
In other words.. do the children have access to a portion of the
family's moneyflow? Would this be contingent upon anything? (i.e.
age, or contribution in some way or some share in the family's
workload?) I like the idea of my children having access to money,
and getting practice with it and having the right to determine how
to spend it. I'm not sure how I feel about an automatic right to
money which is not connected with earning it in any way, and I also
dislike the idea of payment for participation in any family
activity. Is it simply a matter of sharing? Do the children hold
outside jobs? What about young children? Mine are 5 and 3. What
boundaries, if any, would naturally exist pertaining to the family
funds? I love to purchase items for my children when possible if I
believe they are needed, or if the children make a good case for
them, but tend to leave the redundant toy purchases (requested by my
children) to the grandparents. I do like the idea of my children
having the chance to manage their own money, and make independent
decisions about it. I just can't figure out a good system or
outlook on how they should acquire income, and whether there should
be a regular schedule for this, or specific amounts specified. In
many families, "allowance" becomes a reward/punishment system, and I
don't want this. I also don't want to have the transfer of money
constitute a value judgement about my child's level of contribution
to the family. Yet, I don't want to create the impression that
money is free or unlimited. Are your children involved in the
decisions about the larger family budget? If so, how do you juggle
so many potential opinions, and do you ultimately, as parents, have
the last word about it? I'd like an idea of the possible range of
positions held by unschoolers on this issue, and so ask for your
comments. Thanks again.
-Carolyn
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 7/17/06, gvrcdkv <gvrcdk@...> wrote:
exact numbers, but that we have money and we have bills that need to
be paid and that we don't always have money to do the things that we
want or to buy everything anytime we want. They realize that there is
a finite amount to that money.
They each get pocket money and it is tied to their age only in that it
works well that way and tends to be about the amount that they need
for expenditures. However, their limited funds don't mean that they
can't have something that they are really wanting. For instance
yesterday we went to the bookstore and Emily had a bit of money. She
found a CD of a band that she *really* likes but didn't have enough
money for it. I gladly bought it for her and was glad I could do so.
No "you owe me" or "this will come out of your allowance." Just,
"I've got the money and am glad that I can share it with you." That
isn't always the case.
They know that if I have the money I will share it with them. Their
"allowance" is basically for that feeling of independence. As an
example, yesterday's bookstore adventure also included my son wanting
the latest Kingdom Hearts manga. Something I was willing to purchase
for him as I was purchasing other items including the aforementioned
CD. But for him, at 8 yo, the important thing was not so much the
possession of the book, but his ability to purchase it.
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
> Hi to everyone,Our children are quite aware of the money we have. Maybe not the
> I have another question. How do you unschoolers and your
> families handle the question of money management within the family?
exact numbers, but that we have money and we have bills that need to
be paid and that we don't always have money to do the things that we
want or to buy everything anytime we want. They realize that there is
a finite amount to that money.
They each get pocket money and it is tied to their age only in that it
works well that way and tends to be about the amount that they need
for expenditures. However, their limited funds don't mean that they
can't have something that they are really wanting. For instance
yesterday we went to the bookstore and Emily had a bit of money. She
found a CD of a band that she *really* likes but didn't have enough
money for it. I gladly bought it for her and was glad I could do so.
No "you owe me" or "this will come out of your allowance." Just,
"I've got the money and am glad that I can share it with you." That
isn't always the case.
They know that if I have the money I will share it with them. Their
"allowance" is basically for that feeling of independence. As an
example, yesterday's bookstore adventure also included my son wanting
the latest Kingdom Hearts manga. Something I was willing to purchase
for him as I was purchasing other items including the aforementioned
CD. But for him, at 8 yo, the important thing was not so much the
possession of the book, but his ability to purchase it.
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
Deb
--- In [email protected], "gvrcdkv" <gvrcdk@...>
wrote:
wrote:
>family?
> Hi to everyone,
> I have another question. How do you unschoolers and your
> families handle the question of money management within the
> In other words.. do the children have access to a portion of thealso
> family's moneyflow? Would this be contingent upon anything? (i.e.
> age, or contribution in some way or some share in the family's
> workload?) I like the idea of my children having access to money,
> and getting practice with it and having the right to determine how
> to spend it. I'm not sure how I feel about an automatic right to
> money which is not connected with earning it in any way, and I
> dislike the idea of payment for participation in any familymy
> activity. Is it simply a matter of sharing? Do the children hold
> outside jobs? What about young children? Mine are 5 and 3. What
> boundaries, if any, would naturally exist pertaining to the family
> funds? I love to purchase items for my children when possible if I
> believe they are needed, or if the children make a good case for
> them, but tend to leave the redundant toy purchases (requested by
> children) to the grandparents. I do like the idea of my childrenshould
> having the chance to manage their own money, and make independent
> decisions about it. I just can't figure out a good system or
> outlook on how they should acquire income, and whether there
> be a regular schedule for this, or specific amounts specified. InI
> many families, "allowance" becomes a reward/punishment system, and
> don't want this. I also don't want to have the transfer of moneycontribution
> constitute a value judgement about my child's level of
> to the family. Yet, I don't want to create the impression thatjuggle
> money is free or unlimited. Are your children involved in the
> decisions about the larger family budget? If so, how do you
> so many potential opinions, and do you ultimately, as parents,have
> the last word about it? I'd like an idea of the possible range of
> positions held by unschoolers on this issue, and so ask for your
> comments. Thanks again.
>
> -Carolyn
>
Deb
DS gets a set amount per week (currently $5 paid every other week
when I get paid, so $10 at a clip - I asked if it would be okay with
him if we do it this way because we kept forgetting to put his in
his wallet. This way, I pay him when I sit down to pay the rest of
the household bills). No ties to behavior. The way I figure it, DH
doesn't "earn" any moneys he might spend (I WOH fulltime and DH is
home with DS fulltime). Yes, he does dishes and laundry and whatnot
but I wouldn't tell him "No you can't pick up that whatzit you want
evven though we have the money available because you didn't finish
the laundry this week." What he does around the house to make it
comfortable and pleasant is not tied to money. It's tied to simply
being part of the family. Ditto for DS. His current favorite thing
is getting the weed whacker out and going to town on the out of the
way corners of the yard (mailbox, along the base of the deck, out by
the garden boxes, etc). No money involved - DH just asked him one
day a couple weeks ago as he was heading out to do yard work if DS
wanted to use the weed whacker. DH showed him how to handle it
safely and all and off he went. This past Saturday morning, we were
trying to lay out plans for the day because we wanted to go
canoeing. DS said "I want to do a bit of weed whacking so I'll go
get dressed" and off he went, got dressed, got the weeder out and
spent about 20-30 minutes out there then came in and the day moved
on. We didn't ask nor was it tied to his "allowance". He just enjoys
doing it and it helps out.
His money is for things he wants to get that either (a) he's got
cash for and we don't - I don't always have cash on hand for bits
and pieces like a soda at the mini mart, if he wants one, he uses
his cash. (b) particular hobbies he might have - he's into golf so
he might use some of his cash for a round of mini golf or a bucket
of balls at the driving range (BTW we also chipped in some to get
a 'pass' that is rechargeable so he need not have cash *every* time
he goes to the driving range). (c) being generous - sometimes he'll
suggest that he "treat" when we go out on our weekly mom & son date
night. Other times we go Dutch and sometimes I "treat". It varies.
And so on.
We do discuss how much we can spend for this or that - for instance,
he wanted 4 of something (a set) that would have run about $40. I
hadn't planned on spending that much (we were also picking up a
birthday gift for a friend of his). I said that I could afford to
buy the gift he had chosen and 2 of the set items. He wanted all 4.
So, he agreed that it would be okay if I held onto his "allowance"
in order to pay (that portion of) the credit card bill when it came
in - which meant it would be a full month (2 paydays) and he agreed
and did not whine, complain or otherwise indicate he was unhappy
with the deal for the whole time.
We don't talk exact dollars most of the time because once it gots
above about $20, it's just "a lot" to him. We'll discuss things and
he knows how to check and compare prices in the store and all so he
has some idea of how much things cost and so on. We just don't go
into major detail with all the bills - heck, I don't even discuss
the bills in major detail with DH. Fixed expenses are fixed expenses
and he knows roughly how much they are and we don't do a lot of
discussing, unless there are changes occurring (like the oil budget
amount going up when the prices increased). We will discuss long
term and variable expenses (student loan, credit cards) as far as
how to prioritize the money we have available. And when DS comes to
the market with me, we have the list of what we need and then if we
notice something we want, we jot down the item, price, aisle number
on the side and when we get to the end of the list, if there is
space in the budget, we look at those "wish list" items and see what
the best deal we can get is - one $6 ice cream or a 24 pack of
puddings or 3 boxes of snack cakes or 2 large containers of cottage
cheese or a bunch of yogurts or whatever (all of these have been
actual discussions - sometimes we get the snack cakes, sometimes the
cheese, sometimes 1 snack cakes and 1 cottage cheese).
Basically, we consider the money that comes in as 'family funds' and
we try to use them as best as possible for the family's interests,
wants, and needs. If there's something that comes up, we'll check
out prices, options, and discuss it. For instance, we were just
discussing that we might want to spend some of the money we earmark
for next year's vacation to purchase a pair of kayaks when they go
on sale at the end of the season and take closer to home vacations
where we can use them. It's a family discussion not just a grown up
discussion. BUT we do generally, because of DS' nature, talk things
out between us (DH and me) before we broach it with DS - if we find
through researching that it is not financially possible, we don't
even bring up the option to DS. If it's possible IF we change this
or do that, we bring it up and discuss all the options.
--Deb
when I get paid, so $10 at a clip - I asked if it would be okay with
him if we do it this way because we kept forgetting to put his in
his wallet. This way, I pay him when I sit down to pay the rest of
the household bills). No ties to behavior. The way I figure it, DH
doesn't "earn" any moneys he might spend (I WOH fulltime and DH is
home with DS fulltime). Yes, he does dishes and laundry and whatnot
but I wouldn't tell him "No you can't pick up that whatzit you want
evven though we have the money available because you didn't finish
the laundry this week." What he does around the house to make it
comfortable and pleasant is not tied to money. It's tied to simply
being part of the family. Ditto for DS. His current favorite thing
is getting the weed whacker out and going to town on the out of the
way corners of the yard (mailbox, along the base of the deck, out by
the garden boxes, etc). No money involved - DH just asked him one
day a couple weeks ago as he was heading out to do yard work if DS
wanted to use the weed whacker. DH showed him how to handle it
safely and all and off he went. This past Saturday morning, we were
trying to lay out plans for the day because we wanted to go
canoeing. DS said "I want to do a bit of weed whacking so I'll go
get dressed" and off he went, got dressed, got the weeder out and
spent about 20-30 minutes out there then came in and the day moved
on. We didn't ask nor was it tied to his "allowance". He just enjoys
doing it and it helps out.
His money is for things he wants to get that either (a) he's got
cash for and we don't - I don't always have cash on hand for bits
and pieces like a soda at the mini mart, if he wants one, he uses
his cash. (b) particular hobbies he might have - he's into golf so
he might use some of his cash for a round of mini golf or a bucket
of balls at the driving range (BTW we also chipped in some to get
a 'pass' that is rechargeable so he need not have cash *every* time
he goes to the driving range). (c) being generous - sometimes he'll
suggest that he "treat" when we go out on our weekly mom & son date
night. Other times we go Dutch and sometimes I "treat". It varies.
And so on.
We do discuss how much we can spend for this or that - for instance,
he wanted 4 of something (a set) that would have run about $40. I
hadn't planned on spending that much (we were also picking up a
birthday gift for a friend of his). I said that I could afford to
buy the gift he had chosen and 2 of the set items. He wanted all 4.
So, he agreed that it would be okay if I held onto his "allowance"
in order to pay (that portion of) the credit card bill when it came
in - which meant it would be a full month (2 paydays) and he agreed
and did not whine, complain or otherwise indicate he was unhappy
with the deal for the whole time.
We don't talk exact dollars most of the time because once it gots
above about $20, it's just "a lot" to him. We'll discuss things and
he knows how to check and compare prices in the store and all so he
has some idea of how much things cost and so on. We just don't go
into major detail with all the bills - heck, I don't even discuss
the bills in major detail with DH. Fixed expenses are fixed expenses
and he knows roughly how much they are and we don't do a lot of
discussing, unless there are changes occurring (like the oil budget
amount going up when the prices increased). We will discuss long
term and variable expenses (student loan, credit cards) as far as
how to prioritize the money we have available. And when DS comes to
the market with me, we have the list of what we need and then if we
notice something we want, we jot down the item, price, aisle number
on the side and when we get to the end of the list, if there is
space in the budget, we look at those "wish list" items and see what
the best deal we can get is - one $6 ice cream or a 24 pack of
puddings or 3 boxes of snack cakes or 2 large containers of cottage
cheese or a bunch of yogurts or whatever (all of these have been
actual discussions - sometimes we get the snack cakes, sometimes the
cheese, sometimes 1 snack cakes and 1 cottage cheese).
Basically, we consider the money that comes in as 'family funds' and
we try to use them as best as possible for the family's interests,
wants, and needs. If there's something that comes up, we'll check
out prices, options, and discuss it. For instance, we were just
discussing that we might want to spend some of the money we earmark
for next year's vacation to purchase a pair of kayaks when they go
on sale at the end of the season and take closer to home vacations
where we can use them. It's a family discussion not just a grown up
discussion. BUT we do generally, because of DS' nature, talk things
out between us (DH and me) before we broach it with DS - if we find
through researching that it is not financially possible, we don't
even bring up the option to DS. If it's possible IF we change this
or do that, we bring it up and discuss all the options.
--Deb