Re: [unschoolingbasics]food limits
Maisha Khalfani
In our house the kids are allowed to eat pretty much whatever they want. However....I have had to put limits on how often they go into the kitchen. We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it to last the whole month. I've found that if one child gets something to eat, then another and another goes in the kitchen (even if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the food is gone in 3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a time for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so that people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our house the food can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit. That's just what I've done and it works for our family.
Maisha Khalfani
Khalfani Family Adventures
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
EarthSpirit Readings
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
Khalfani Family Adventures
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
EarthSpirit Readings
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
drusila00
we only have a family of 3 but our food budget is what I think of as
tight (about 150.00 per month)
I try to make it go farther by shopping at discount grocery (dented
can stores) and by making meals of beans and rice a couple times per
week.
My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs through
food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we will
buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all in the
first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make the choice
to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gone in
2 days, sometimes not.
However I can't see that this would work with 7 people ;-) (of
course Ive never tried to feed 7 people daily)
~Diana~
--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<earthspirit393@...> wrote:
into the kitchen. We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it
to last the whole month. I've found that if one child gets
something to eat, then another and another goes in the kitchen (even
if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the food is gone in
3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a time
for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so
that people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our
house the food can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit.
That's just what I've done and it works for our family.
entures.blogspot.com/>
ies.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
tight (about 150.00 per month)
I try to make it go farther by shopping at discount grocery (dented
can stores) and by making meals of beans and rice a couple times per
week.
My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs through
food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we will
buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all in the
first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make the choice
to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gone in
2 days, sometimes not.
However I can't see that this would work with 7 people ;-) (of
course Ive never tried to feed 7 people daily)
~Diana~
--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>want. However....I have had to put limits on how often they go
> In our house the kids are allowed to eat pretty much whatever they
into the kitchen. We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it
to last the whole month. I've found that if one child gets
something to eat, then another and another goes in the kitchen (even
if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the food is gone in
3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a time
for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so
that people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our
house the food can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit.
That's just what I've done and it works for our family.
>http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifamilyadv
> Maisha Khalfani
> Khalfani Family Adventures
>
entures.blogspot.com/>
> EarthSpirit Readingshttp://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocit
>
ies.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Ren Allen
I'm borrowing this from AU, which is also having a discussion about
food. I thought Su's answer was really good and has some great points
to think about:
food. I thought Su's answer was really good and has some great points
to think about:
On Jul 9, 2006, at 10:16 PM, John and Amanda Slater wrote:
> We have found in our house the only time our children really want
> the sweets is right before breakfast. Normally I will allow a
> serving, and give them a variety of choices that will let us get
> through our day.
Here's the word "allow" again. I have been thinking about that word
in recent months, and how powerfully it reinforces the idea of
parents being entirely in charge. But for a long time I couldn't
think of an alternative. And then I thought of putting it a different
way--not "what am I doing" but "what am I not doing." And I started
saying, "I don't interfere." This, to me, is a more accurate
description of what goes on--my kids want to do something or have
something, and I can interfere or not interfere. Or I can help them
do it.
So I try not to say, "We allow kids to sit on tables at our house,"
but "We don't interfere if kids want to sit on tables." Or, in this
case, I would not say, "If Carl wants some chocolate before
breakfast, I allow it," but "If Carl wants some chocolate before
breakfast, I don't interfere," or "I help him get some."
I wonder what a "serving" is and who decides. And what happens if
there is disagreement about it.
> Once they have eaten something to give them a little energy they
> are free to have more of whatever they wanted.
I think this means they can have more of something sweet after
they've eaten something else? I'm always wary of schemes like this--I
was a kid who would eat a whole meal I didn't want or need just to
"earn" dessert. It would have been better for me to just eat the
dessert, if that was the only thing I wanted.
Su
Ren Allen
I'm sorry Maisha, but the whole idea of limiting WHEN a person can eat
just really bothers me. I keep thinking of different aspects to this....
First of all, to think that 7 people would all need to eat at the same
time, that their body signals could somehow be aligned is crazy. This
means that some of the children are probably going hungry longer than
they'd like, OR eating when they really don't need to because it's "time".
Secondly, if my dh told me "uh, uh, you can't have that piece of toast
right now, it's not eating time" I'd want to DECK him! Someone telling
me when MY body should have food would really bother me. It would be
seen as a form of emotional abuse if spouses did this to each other.
It's controlling things about another human being they have no right
to control.
The right to bodily sovereignity is highly important to me. Eating is
such a part of daily human survival, I can't imagine taking that right
of choice from my children.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
just really bothers me. I keep thinking of different aspects to this....
First of all, to think that 7 people would all need to eat at the same
time, that their body signals could somehow be aligned is crazy. This
means that some of the children are probably going hungry longer than
they'd like, OR eating when they really don't need to because it's "time".
Secondly, if my dh told me "uh, uh, you can't have that piece of toast
right now, it's not eating time" I'd want to DECK him! Someone telling
me when MY body should have food would really bother me. It would be
seen as a form of emotional abuse if spouses did this to each other.
It's controlling things about another human being they have no right
to control.
The right to bodily sovereignity is highly important to me. Eating is
such a part of daily human survival, I can't imagine taking that right
of choice from my children.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Joanne
--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<earthspirit393@...> wrote:
that people aren't eating 'cause some else is.>>>>
You said "you've had to institute".....I've found in my family it
works better (and makes more sense to the kids) if we find a
solution together. It also gives them a real life chance to problem
solve.
For example...we have a futon in the same room as playstation.
Sometimes when my husband gets home from work, he lays down for a
while before he has dinner. Sometimes, he's just closing his eyes
and regrouping, other times he takes a short nap. Because the sound
of the playstation bothers him when he's napping, I talked to the
kids about what we can do. One of them suggested, not putting it on
when he's napping. That's good, but sometimes, he's only resting and
it doesn't bother him then, it's only when he falls asleep. So they
came up with muting it when he's laying down. :-) Problem solving in
action. :-)
Maybe there are things your kids can do to help stretch your food
budget? Can they help look for sales? We're a family of five and
we're all big eaters. I have three supermarkets near me and my kids
help out with the shopping. They've actually gotten me some pretty
good deals. My oldest is good for that because my husband showed him
how to look at the unit price and now he checks things as I buy
them. :-)
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
http://foreverparents.com
<earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>>>>So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a timefor "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so
that people aren't eating 'cause some else is.>>>>
You said "you've had to institute".....I've found in my family it
works better (and makes more sense to the kids) if we find a
solution together. It also gives them a real life chance to problem
solve.
For example...we have a futon in the same room as playstation.
Sometimes when my husband gets home from work, he lays down for a
while before he has dinner. Sometimes, he's just closing his eyes
and regrouping, other times he takes a short nap. Because the sound
of the playstation bothers him when he's napping, I talked to the
kids about what we can do. One of them suggested, not putting it on
when he's napping. That's good, but sometimes, he's only resting and
it doesn't bother him then, it's only when he falls asleep. So they
came up with muting it when he's laying down. :-) Problem solving in
action. :-)
Maybe there are things your kids can do to help stretch your food
budget? Can they help look for sales? We're a family of five and
we're all big eaters. I have three supermarkets near me and my kids
help out with the shopping. They've actually gotten me some pretty
good deals. My oldest is good for that because my husband showed him
how to look at the unit price and now he checks things as I buy
them. :-)
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
http://foreverparents.com
Jennifer Dion
We have a family of 6. We shop at Sam's once a month. We go to the apple orchard, and buy a bushel of apples.We pick strawberries,blueberries, and peaches.It is a lot cheaper that way.If the kids are in the snacking mood. They can eat as many of these as they want. I make three large meals and they snacks between. They usually get something sweet at night .ice cream,cake what ever I make. I do this because I used to give the kids freedom of food. This only left me eating alone at the dinner table.I would waste so much money on uneaten food.That came to a stop. We enjoy family meals at the table. We have a lot of good conversation.The love to ask zany questions and try to stump my husband and I. It has become a great learning experience. The kids will look up fun facts on the Internet, and than will try to stump us. It is lots of fun. I want to give the kids a strong knowledge of what healthily choices are. When they are older they can make unhealthily choices. A least for
now they can tell me what fruits and a vegetables are.
drusila00 <drusila00@...> wrote: we only have a family of 3 but our food budget is what I think of as
tight (about 150.00 per month)
I try to make it go farther by shopping at discount grocery (dented
can stores) and by making meals of beans and rice a couple times per
week.
My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs through
food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we will
buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all in the
first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make the choice
to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gone in
2 days, sometimes not.
However I can't see that this would work with 7 people ;-) (of
course Ive never tried to feed 7 people daily)
~Diana~
--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<earthspirit393@...> wrote:
into the kitchen. We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it
to last the whole month. I've found that if one child gets
something to eat, then another and another goes in the kitchen (even
if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the food is gone in
3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a time
for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so
that people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our
house the food can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit.
That's just what I've done and it works for our family.
entures.blogspot.com/>
ies.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
Sneak preview the all-new Yahoo.com. It's not radically different. Just radically better.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
now they can tell me what fruits and a vegetables are.
drusila00 <drusila00@...> wrote: we only have a family of 3 but our food budget is what I think of as
tight (about 150.00 per month)
I try to make it go farther by shopping at discount grocery (dented
can stores) and by making meals of beans and rice a couple times per
week.
My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs through
food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we will
buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all in the
first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make the choice
to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gone in
2 days, sometimes not.
However I can't see that this would work with 7 people ;-) (of
course Ive never tried to feed 7 people daily)
~Diana~
--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>want. However....I have had to put limits on how often they go
> In our house the kids are allowed to eat pretty much whatever they
into the kitchen. We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it
to last the whole month. I've found that if one child gets
something to eat, then another and another goes in the kitchen (even
if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the food is gone in
3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a time
for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so
that people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our
house the food can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit.
That's just what I've done and it works for our family.
>http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifamilyadv
> Maisha Khalfani
> Khalfani Family Adventures
>
entures.blogspot.com/>
> EarthSpirit Readingshttp://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocit
>
ies.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
>---------------------------------
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Sneak preview the all-new Yahoo.com. It's not radically different. Just radically better.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Brian & Alexandra Polikowsky
Why do you think that given them freedom to make choices now will lead to them not choosing vegetables or fruits??
Were they free to make choices since they were little?
My ds is 4 ( just turned 4 on June 24th). He has always had free choice and ate whatever he wanted when he wanted it.
This morning he had chocolate milk and Peannut Butter Panda Uff ( All organic stuff even the milk)
on top of that he had three yellow popsicles and is having a rainbow pushems ( Ice cream form Schwanz).
He has choosen fruits and vegetables many times over "junk" . Sometimes he chooses "junk" over healthy stuff.
Like he will eat ice cream all day ( we buy breywers for better ingredients)
The other day he asked me if ice cream was healthy so I got the box and read the ingredients in that ice cream for him and we talked about what was healthy or not so healthy.
Alex
Were they free to make choices since they were little?
My ds is 4 ( just turned 4 on June 24th). He has always had free choice and ate whatever he wanted when he wanted it.
This morning he had chocolate milk and Peannut Butter Panda Uff ( All organic stuff even the milk)
on top of that he had three yellow popsicles and is having a rainbow pushems ( Ice cream form Schwanz).
He has choosen fruits and vegetables many times over "junk" . Sometimes he chooses "junk" over healthy stuff.
Like he will eat ice cream all day ( we buy breywers for better ingredients)
The other day he asked me if ice cream was healthy so I got the box and read the ingredients in that ice cream for him and we talked about what was healthy or not so healthy.
Alex
----- Original Message -----
From: Jennifer Dion
To: [email protected]
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2006 9:08 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]food limits
We have a family of 6. We shop at Sam's once a month. We go to the apple orchard, and buy a bushel of apples.We pick strawberries,blueberries, and peaches.It is a lot cheaper that way.If the kids are in the snacking mood. They can eat as many of these as they want. I make three large meals and they snacks between. They usually get something sweet at night .ice cream,cake what ever I make. I do this because I used to give the kids freedom of food. This only left me eating alone at the dinner table.I would waste so much money on uneaten food.That came to a stop. We enjoy family meals at the table. We have a lot of good conversation.The love to ask zany questions and try to stump my husband and I. It has become a great learning experience. The kids will look up fun facts on the Internet, and than will try to stump us. It is lots of fun. I want to give the kids a strong knowledge of what healthily choices are. When they are older they can make unhealthily choices. A least for
now they can tell me what fruits and a vegetables are.
drusila00 <drusila00@...> wrote: we only have a family of 3 but our food budget is what I think of as
tight (about 150.00 per month)
I try to make it go farther by shopping at discount grocery (dented
can stores) and by making meals of beans and rice a couple times per
week.
My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs through
food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we will
buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all in the
first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make the choice
to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gone in
2 days, sometimes not.
However I can't see that this would work with 7 people ;-) (of
course Ive never tried to feed 7 people daily)
~Diana~
--- In [email protected], "Maisha Khalfani"
<earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>
> In our house the kids are allowed to eat pretty much whatever they
want. However....I have had to put limits on how often they go
into the kitchen. We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it
to last the whole month. I've found that if one child gets
something to eat, then another and another goes in the kitchen (even
if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the food is gone in
3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a time
for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so
that people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our
house the food can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit.
That's just what I've done and it works for our family.
>
> Maisha Khalfani
> Khalfani Family Adventures
>
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifamilyadv
entures.blogspot.com/>
> EarthSpirit Readings
>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocit
ies.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
---------------------------------
Sneak preview the all-new Yahoo.com. It's not radically different. Just radically better.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
Well, it does *sound* rather controlling. But I think Maisha's family
is kind of like ours right now, where we are sliding on the spectrum
of unschooling. If we jumped straight to where you're at, there would
be problems. My children DO still choose to eat when they see someone
eat, basically because they are worried about things being fair
(that's mostly age and experience I think, in addition to the fact if
you have nine people in your household, if two or three someones ate
all they wanted of something, it's very possible that none would be
left for the next seven or eight persons). If so-n-so gets a candy
bar, it doesn't matter what their internal state is, THEY want a
candy bar. So I would say that body signals right now are not the
best way to judge hunger.
We're not really taking a choice away, we're just moving towards
choice. It's getting better all the time (heehee, one of my favorite
songs). If one of my kids had ever said they were starving, of course
I would offer them some choices. If someone said they were a little
snacky and just wanting to taste something, then I might say "Well,
dinner is in 15 minutes, could you wait til then?" We don't
necessarily even eat the same thing at dinner, but if my ten yo is
just a little hungry, I think he could talk to me for fifteen minutes
and then eat it with us.
It might be different a little for us because i do leave a snack tray
out all day...and that's helped a lot with the kids being able to
learn themselves better. It also helps that ours our a little younger
than some of Maisha's, so a little less ingrained, yes?
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
is kind of like ours right now, where we are sliding on the spectrum
of unschooling. If we jumped straight to where you're at, there would
be problems. My children DO still choose to eat when they see someone
eat, basically because they are worried about things being fair
(that's mostly age and experience I think, in addition to the fact if
you have nine people in your household, if two or three someones ate
all they wanted of something, it's very possible that none would be
left for the next seven or eight persons). If so-n-so gets a candy
bar, it doesn't matter what their internal state is, THEY want a
candy bar. So I would say that body signals right now are not the
best way to judge hunger.
We're not really taking a choice away, we're just moving towards
choice. It's getting better all the time (heehee, one of my favorite
songs). If one of my kids had ever said they were starving, of course
I would offer them some choices. If someone said they were a little
snacky and just wanting to taste something, then I might say "Well,
dinner is in 15 minutes, could you wait til then?" We don't
necessarily even eat the same thing at dinner, but if my ten yo is
just a little hungry, I think he could talk to me for fifteen minutes
and then eat it with us.
It might be different a little for us because i do leave a snack tray
out all day...and that's helped a lot with the kids being able to
learn themselves better. It also helps that ours our a little younger
than some of Maisha's, so a little less ingrained, yes?
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jul 10, 2006, at 8:00 AM, Ren Allen wrote:
> I'm sorry Maisha, but the whole idea of limiting WHEN a person can eat
> just really bothers me. I keep thinking of different aspects to
> this....
>
> First of all, to think that 7 people would all need to eat at the same
> time, that their body signals could somehow be aligned is crazy. This
> means that some of the children are probably going hungry longer than
> they'd like, OR eating when they really don't need to because it's
> "time".
>
> Secondly, if my dh told me "uh, uh, you can't have that piece of toast
> right now, it's not eating time" I'd want to DECK him! Someone telling
> me when MY body should have food would really bother me. It would be
> seen as a form of emotional abuse if spouses did this to each other.
> It's controlling things about another human being they have no right
> to control.
>
> The right to bodily sovereignity is highly important to me. Eating is
> such a part of daily human survival, I can't imagine taking that right
> of choice from my children.
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
We usually have a snack tray out all the time, I just refill it every
hour or so if it's getting low. I know about the big family, we have
nine here, and they are still mostly young enough to not eat too
much ;-)
We also have to be very careful because we have two kids with serious
food allergies, so it's important to 1) make sure they don't get an
allergen, and 2) make sure that food bought for them is protected and
available when they are hungry. So, my kids do ask a lot, is this
okay to eat? I'm sure if any RU'ers heard our house, they would be
uncomfortable, but it's not really from control, it's from everyone's
concern that things are fair for everyone.
Same for proportions, the kids usually ask how much they can have. It
doesn't sound like I've let control go of that. However, they ask
because they are concerned about whether or not I plan on making
something else with the graham crackers, or if it's the last of the
wheat-free crackers it would be really uncool to eat it and leave Dan
and Sam with less to snack on. And the gluten free snacks are WAY
expensive! We also went through a phase where we measured out all of
our food serving sizes to what they had on the box because it was
funny to see in comparison to the FDA's food pyramid. One day we even
set out our 'food for the day', eleven servings of grains, etc. We
didn't do it to control food, but to see what exactly those crazy
guys are talking about. We're all very visual learners!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
hour or so if it's getting low. I know about the big family, we have
nine here, and they are still mostly young enough to not eat too
much ;-)
We also have to be very careful because we have two kids with serious
food allergies, so it's important to 1) make sure they don't get an
allergen, and 2) make sure that food bought for them is protected and
available when they are hungry. So, my kids do ask a lot, is this
okay to eat? I'm sure if any RU'ers heard our house, they would be
uncomfortable, but it's not really from control, it's from everyone's
concern that things are fair for everyone.
Same for proportions, the kids usually ask how much they can have. It
doesn't sound like I've let control go of that. However, they ask
because they are concerned about whether or not I plan on making
something else with the graham crackers, or if it's the last of the
wheat-free crackers it would be really uncool to eat it and leave Dan
and Sam with less to snack on. And the gluten free snacks are WAY
expensive! We also went through a phase where we measured out all of
our food serving sizes to what they had on the box because it was
funny to see in comparison to the FDA's food pyramid. One day we even
set out our 'food for the day', eleven servings of grains, etc. We
didn't do it to control food, but to see what exactly those crazy
guys are talking about. We're all very visual learners!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jul 9, 2006, at 10:29 PM, Maisha Khalfani wrote:
> In our house the kids are allowed to eat pretty much whatever they
> want. However....I have had to put limits on how often they go into
> the kitchen. We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it to
> last the whole month. I've found that if one child gets something
> to eat, then another and another goes in the kitchen (even if
> they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the food is gone in 3-5
> days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a time for
> "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so that
> people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our house
> the food can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit. That's just
> what I've done and it works for our family.
>
> Maisha Khalfani
> Khalfani Family Adventures
> http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://
> khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
> EarthSpirit Readings
> http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://
> www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vijay Owens
On Jul 10, 2006, at 10:08 AM, Jennifer Dion wrote:
food have kids who don't even know what fruits and vegetables ARE?
Because that's how that read to me. And it's interesting to me that you
mention unhealthy choices in the future: giving kids zero chance to
practice making choices now in my opinion generally leads to an
impaired ability (to varying degrees) to make good choices in the
future.
Just to be perfectly clear: people who radically unschool when it comes
to food don't offer their kids chips and cookies constantly, or have
only those items in the house. They simply aren't forbidden.
I can't speak for all other unschoolers, but we know all about fruits
and vegetables! We live on a farm and grow our own lettuce, radishes,
onions, tomatoes, peppers, watermelon, pumpkins, corn, beans, okra,
cucumbers, turnips, and probably a dozen other items. We also have wild
blackberries on our property. So be careful what assumptions you make
about other people's families if you don't have the whole picture!
My daughter eats a lot of different foods (in rotation, and separately,
i.e. she'll eat cereal and fruit, but not cereal with fruit on it) and
she even knows a lot about foods that she chooses not to eat. She will
help me cook stuff all the time that she knows is daddy's favorite but
she won't want any because for example it's got mushrooms in it. But
still she likes to help. Granted she won't eat most of the stuff we
grow, but her food choices are changing and evolving all the time
according to her own tastes and what her own body needs at the moment.
Last month's favorite falls by the wayside and she tries something new
and adds it to the menu of what is acceptable to her. Then it changes
again. She used to eat only plain bread. No toasting, no spreads of any
kind. Now she eats toast with butter or french toast but not plain
bread. She took about a year off from eating eggs other than in french
toast and now she asks for scrambled eggs often. I used to be
positively alarmed at how many pistachios she would eat. I haven't seen
one pass her lips in 6 months. But now she suddenly likes to lick
peanut butter off a spoon. It's very interesting to me that she will
eat bologna and cheese but not a bologna and cheese sandwich. She has
her reasons I guess!
Right now as far as fruits and veggies go she loves carrots, apples,
blueberries, and peas. My younger daughter loves squash, peaches,
avocadoes, sweet potatoes, and bananas. My older daughter wouldn't eat
any of those things if her life depended on it, lol. And that's fine. I
feel like a surefire way to make her stop liking peas is to withhold
popsicles or cookies until she eats all of her peas (not saying you do
this, just saying that many many people do, and it's a bad idea in my
opinion).
Don't make peas the enemy! Eat popsicles in the bath! Worried about how
many cookies/brownies your kids are eating? Make a healthy version that
you can feel good about saying yes to at any time of the day. Model
healthy eating. Leave bowls of fruit and trays of veggies and dip out
for them. There was a study that people are something like 30-40% more
likely to eat fruit if it's washed and displayed in plain sight than
stored somewhere hidden. And mini carrots with ranch dressing was more
popular with the kids (ages 3-14) at my DD's 3rd birthday party than
the brownies. Color me shocked, lol. I remember hovering by the food
table at birthday parties when I was little and scarfing M & Ms and
cupcakes like there was no tomorrow. Because there WAS no tomorrow for
sweets for me -- until the next party.
You know this thread has inspired me to post some pictures of my kids
in the photos section. Might take a while as I'm on dialup (ugh!) but
it's important to me that people reading this SEE how beautifully
healthy they are on a diet of their own choosing. A diet that includes
lots of the crunchy group, the frozen group, and the chocolate group,
lol. We have a food dodecahedron in our family, forget the pyramid!
-Vijay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> When they are older they can make unhealthily choices. A least forAre you implying that people who take a radical unschooling approach to
> now they can tell me what fruits and a vegetables are.
food have kids who don't even know what fruits and vegetables ARE?
Because that's how that read to me. And it's interesting to me that you
mention unhealthy choices in the future: giving kids zero chance to
practice making choices now in my opinion generally leads to an
impaired ability (to varying degrees) to make good choices in the
future.
Just to be perfectly clear: people who radically unschool when it comes
to food don't offer their kids chips and cookies constantly, or have
only those items in the house. They simply aren't forbidden.
I can't speak for all other unschoolers, but we know all about fruits
and vegetables! We live on a farm and grow our own lettuce, radishes,
onions, tomatoes, peppers, watermelon, pumpkins, corn, beans, okra,
cucumbers, turnips, and probably a dozen other items. We also have wild
blackberries on our property. So be careful what assumptions you make
about other people's families if you don't have the whole picture!
My daughter eats a lot of different foods (in rotation, and separately,
i.e. she'll eat cereal and fruit, but not cereal with fruit on it) and
she even knows a lot about foods that she chooses not to eat. She will
help me cook stuff all the time that she knows is daddy's favorite but
she won't want any because for example it's got mushrooms in it. But
still she likes to help. Granted she won't eat most of the stuff we
grow, but her food choices are changing and evolving all the time
according to her own tastes and what her own body needs at the moment.
Last month's favorite falls by the wayside and she tries something new
and adds it to the menu of what is acceptable to her. Then it changes
again. She used to eat only plain bread. No toasting, no spreads of any
kind. Now she eats toast with butter or french toast but not plain
bread. She took about a year off from eating eggs other than in french
toast and now she asks for scrambled eggs often. I used to be
positively alarmed at how many pistachios she would eat. I haven't seen
one pass her lips in 6 months. But now she suddenly likes to lick
peanut butter off a spoon. It's very interesting to me that she will
eat bologna and cheese but not a bologna and cheese sandwich. She has
her reasons I guess!
Right now as far as fruits and veggies go she loves carrots, apples,
blueberries, and peas. My younger daughter loves squash, peaches,
avocadoes, sweet potatoes, and bananas. My older daughter wouldn't eat
any of those things if her life depended on it, lol. And that's fine. I
feel like a surefire way to make her stop liking peas is to withhold
popsicles or cookies until she eats all of her peas (not saying you do
this, just saying that many many people do, and it's a bad idea in my
opinion).
Don't make peas the enemy! Eat popsicles in the bath! Worried about how
many cookies/brownies your kids are eating? Make a healthy version that
you can feel good about saying yes to at any time of the day. Model
healthy eating. Leave bowls of fruit and trays of veggies and dip out
for them. There was a study that people are something like 30-40% more
likely to eat fruit if it's washed and displayed in plain sight than
stored somewhere hidden. And mini carrots with ranch dressing was more
popular with the kids (ages 3-14) at my DD's 3rd birthday party than
the brownies. Color me shocked, lol. I remember hovering by the food
table at birthday parties when I was little and scarfing M & Ms and
cupcakes like there was no tomorrow. Because there WAS no tomorrow for
sweets for me -- until the next party.
You know this thread has inspired me to post some pictures of my kids
in the photos section. Might take a while as I'm on dialup (ugh!) but
it's important to me that people reading this SEE how beautifully
healthy they are on a diet of their own choosing. A diet that includes
lots of the crunchy group, the frozen group, and the chocolate group,
lol. We have a food dodecahedron in our family, forget the pyramid!
-Vijay
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jul 10, 2006, at 5:39 AM, drusila00 wrote:
kids to eat less food?
So - are you thinking they'll eat when they're not hungry?
The thing about not limiting food is that kids eat what they need to
eat - eat when they're hungry, they don't binge now for fear of there
not being enough later. Setting up a condition of food being scarce
induces people TO eat when they're not hungry.
I'm not saying that the transition might not drain your bank account
and I do understand not wanting to do that - but, from the way both
of you describe how you limit food, it makes it sound like the kids
will be eating less food when you limit it. I must be missing
something -- but Maisha - don't they just eat MORE during the times
the kitchen is open? And Diana - if he eats all the food in the first
part of the month - I'm sure you don't really mean you don't let him
eat anything the rest of the month. So ???
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs throughI'm confused. Are you (and also Maisha?) really trying to get your
> food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
> because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we will
> buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all in the
> first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make the choice
> to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gone in
> 2 days, sometimes not.
kids to eat less food?
So - are you thinking they'll eat when they're not hungry?
The thing about not limiting food is that kids eat what they need to
eat - eat when they're hungry, they don't binge now for fear of there
not being enough later. Setting up a condition of food being scarce
induces people TO eat when they're not hungry.
I'm not saying that the transition might not drain your bank account
and I do understand not wanting to do that - but, from the way both
of you describe how you limit food, it makes it sound like the kids
will be eating less food when you limit it. I must be missing
something -- but Maisha - don't they just eat MORE during the times
the kitchen is open? And Diana - if he eats all the food in the first
part of the month - I'm sure you don't really mean you don't let him
eat anything the rest of the month. So ???
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jul 10, 2006, at 7:08 AM, Jennifer Dion wrote:
I'm not seeing why you'd have to make them do that. We don't eat
dinner together every night, but we do when we can (my kids are 15,
18, 21 and busy).
Also - why is the food wasted just because they don't eat it at the
same time as you do?
I make food - people eat it together or separately. Right now we have
rice and chicken in tupperware containers, left from yesterday. I'm
going to heat some up for lunch for Rosie and me, in a few minutes.
We won't be home when my dh gets home - but he'll heat some up for
himself. Roxana will have it later tonight when she gets home from a
rehearsal.
In the morning, sometimes I make pancakes early - I leave them on a
plate, covered, and leave all the "fixens" sitting out. People eat
what they want when they get up and are hungry. After everyone has
had what they want - either the last person will clean up or I'll
notice and do it myself. Or we have lots of good cereal or oatmeal
and fruit and nuts around - people eat breakfast and put what they
want on it. Same with lunch - they eat what they find available - so
I make sure that there are good, nutritious choices available of
things they like. Dinner - if I know everybody's schedules are going
to work out so that we'll all be home - like yesterday - then
sometimes i cook a more elaborate dinner and make a lot, so we'll
have good leftovers. But usually we have something simple enough that
people can make their own. I might shred lettuce, grate cheese, and
chop up tomatoes and cook some beans with Mexican seasoning.....then
each person can make tacos or burritos for themselves when they get
hungry.
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I do this because I used to give the kids freedom of food. ThisWhy wouldn't the kids want to have dinner together, if it is so fun?
> only left me eating alone at the dinner table.I would waste so much
> money on uneaten food.That came to a stop. We enjoy family meals at
> the table. We have a lot of good conversation.The love to ask zany
> questions and try to stump my husband and I. It has become a great
> learning experience. The kids will look up fun facts on the
> Internet, and than will try to stump us. It is lots of fun. I want
> to give the kids a strong knowledge of what healthily choices are.
> When they are older they can make unhealthily choices. A least for
> now they can tell me what fruits and a vegetables are.
I'm not seeing why you'd have to make them do that. We don't eat
dinner together every night, but we do when we can (my kids are 15,
18, 21 and busy).
Also - why is the food wasted just because they don't eat it at the
same time as you do?
I make food - people eat it together or separately. Right now we have
rice and chicken in tupperware containers, left from yesterday. I'm
going to heat some up for lunch for Rosie and me, in a few minutes.
We won't be home when my dh gets home - but he'll heat some up for
himself. Roxana will have it later tonight when she gets home from a
rehearsal.
In the morning, sometimes I make pancakes early - I leave them on a
plate, covered, and leave all the "fixens" sitting out. People eat
what they want when they get up and are hungry. After everyone has
had what they want - either the last person will clean up or I'll
notice and do it myself. Or we have lots of good cereal or oatmeal
and fruit and nuts around - people eat breakfast and put what they
want on it. Same with lunch - they eat what they find available - so
I make sure that there are good, nutritious choices available of
things they like. Dinner - if I know everybody's schedules are going
to work out so that we'll all be home - like yesterday - then
sometimes i cook a more elaborate dinner and make a lot, so we'll
have good leftovers. But usually we have something simple enough that
people can make their own. I might shred lettuce, grate cheese, and
chop up tomatoes and cook some beans with Mexican seasoning.....then
each person can make tacos or burritos for themselves when they get
hungry.
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jul 10, 2006, at 8:24 AM, Melissa wrote:
onto the snack tray?
Given budget constraints - that's a good solution and an excellent
transition from food restrictions to more freedom. I mean - I STILL
do that - put out nutritious snacky stuff. My family isn't restricted
to that - but they'll usually choose what is most convenient unless
they really have a desire for something else. I make popcorn a lot
when they're sitting around watching tv/movies/sports -- because they
like to munch on something and I'd rather offer popcorn than see them
eat bags of chips. But - we HAVE chips around if that's what they
really want.
Rox will almost always eat whatever I've set out on the counter in
the kitchen - she doesn't want to spend time finding or making
anything - just wants to satisfy her hunger. She'll almost always eat
fruit if it is available. Rosie will have urges for specific foods -
so she'll go in the kitchen and make guacamole or mashed potatoes or
get a slice of cheese or something she really wants. She knows what
she wants when she goes to the kitchen - Rox goes to the kitchen to
figure out what she wants.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> It might be different a little for us because i do leave a snack trayAh - so they CAN actually eat any time - but just what you've put
> out all day...and that's helped a lot with the kids being able to
> learn themselves better.
onto the snack tray?
Given budget constraints - that's a good solution and an excellent
transition from food restrictions to more freedom. I mean - I STILL
do that - put out nutritious snacky stuff. My family isn't restricted
to that - but they'll usually choose what is most convenient unless
they really have a desire for something else. I make popcorn a lot
when they're sitting around watching tv/movies/sports -- because they
like to munch on something and I'd rather offer popcorn than see them
eat bags of chips. But - we HAVE chips around if that's what they
really want.
Rox will almost always eat whatever I've set out on the counter in
the kitchen - she doesn't want to spend time finding or making
anything - just wants to satisfy her hunger. She'll almost always eat
fruit if it is available. Rosie will have urges for specific foods -
so she'll go in the kitchen and make guacamole or mashed potatoes or
get a slice of cheese or something she really wants. She knows what
she wants when she goes to the kitchen - Rox goes to the kitchen to
figure out what she wants.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
--- In [email protected], Vijay Owens
<vijayowens@...> wrote:
to write that, it came out sounding way meaner than the way you said
it (so I didn't post what I wrote then).
fresh) next to the fruit bowl. The cookies and Poptarts are side by
side with the peanut butter. It's not pushing one thing or
withholding another but simply leaving all things be equal,
providing information, and removing the emotion from the equation.
When it's not forbidden, there's no sense of "getting away with" or
guilt about food. Then true choices about what your body wants
aren't getting interfered with by the emotional side of things.
peppers, hot peppers, chives, and black beans this year -
"valiantly" because the long cold spring and super sodden summer so
far have made it rather a challenge - they're *finally* showing
signs of wanting to grow rather than hiding from the weather lol!
And we've got wild blackberries too! DS (8) has been going out daily
to harvest those that are ripe. We've made berry jam (combo of the
wild berries and store-bought strawberries, blueberries, and red
raspberries). He also requested some blackberry pancakes the other
day, ate about 4 of them (with a dab of honey) and I froze the rest
for quick snacking - he's eaten several of those toasted up with
honey since then.
Warning: shocking content ahead ....
Saturday evening we had salad for dinner: DS had lettuce, carrot,
tomato, celery, sliced hard boiled egg and shredded cheese, no
dressing, and said it was a "great dinner".
Okay, maybe not shocking to some of you but probably shocking to
others who wouldn't believe that an 8 year old would eat a salad,
short of parental pressure (eat your salad or no dessert).
own body needs based onwhat she's been told/trained she's "supposed
to" do - eat at certain times, eat certain foods and not others, and
so on (and what is "good" and "bad" certainly varies widely
depending on who you ask - even my favorite dark chocolate is now
being looked upon with favor for the antioxidant properties YIPPEE!)
omelettes, he can go through a dozen eggs in under a week - so we
just buy the 18 packs for a time and hard boil the rest whenever he
switches "off" eggs.
use plain nonfat yogurt and mashed banana instead. It's got fruit,
dairy, protein, complex carbs and fiber - no added fat (just the PB)
or processed sugar.
set out a real spread of stuff - chips and dips and cookies and
veggies and dip. I was getting a beverage or something and my aunt
came over and said "Can your son have broccoli and dip?" I
said "Sure". Then she said, "well, you might want to check on him" I
was a bit confused so I went over to the adjacent dining room where
the food was laid out. And there was DS - he had gotten himself up
on a chair to reach the table and he was elbow deep in the ranch dip
munching raw broccoli quite happily. I grinned at my "dipped" boy,
cleaned him up a bit, and scooped out a big scoop of dip onto a
separate plate and surrounded it with broccoli and moved him to
another location where he could eat messily safely. I think my aunt
was a bit puzzled by a 3 yr old who beelined for the broccoli.
Saturday, I was shopping and came home (with some chocolates for the
family) to find DS helping DH with some yardwork. After a bit, I
said "Time for a chocolate break" DS, who already knew I had brought
home his absolute favorite Lindt white chocolate, said "In a minute
as soon as I finish what I'm working on" Okay, guess he's not
compulsive about chocolate like his mom (and where'd he get that
thing for white chocolate anyway? lol)
--Deb
<vijayowens@...> wrote:
>Thanks Vijay - it read that way to me too but I every time I tried
> On Jul 10, 2006, at 10:08 AM, Jennifer Dion wrote:
>
> > When they are older they can make unhealthily choices. A least
>>for
> > now they can tell me what fruits and a vegetables are.
>
> Are you implying that people who take a radical unschooling
>approach to
> food have kids who don't even know what fruits and vegetables ARE?
> Because that's how that read to me.
to write that, it came out sounding way meaner than the way you said
it (so I didn't post what I wrote then).
> Just to be perfectly clear: people who radically unschool when itExactly - the chips sit in their bag with a clip on them (to stay
>comes
> to food don't offer their kids chips and cookies constantly, or
>have
> only those items in the house. They simply aren't forbidden.
fresh) next to the fruit bowl. The cookies and Poptarts are side by
side with the peanut butter. It's not pushing one thing or
withholding another but simply leaving all things be equal,
providing information, and removing the emotion from the equation.
When it's not forbidden, there's no sense of "getting away with" or
guilt about food. Then true choices about what your body wants
aren't getting interfered with by the emotional side of things.
> I can't speak for all other unschoolers, but we know all aboutDitto
>fruits
> and vegetables!
>We live on a farm and grow our own lettuce, radishes,We're valiantly trying to grow tomatoes, lettuce, carrots, bell
> onions, tomatoes, peppers, watermelon, pumpkins, corn, beans,
>okra,
> cucumbers, turnips, and probably a dozen other items. We also have
>wild
> blackberries on our property. So be careful what assumptions you
>make
> about other people's families if you don't have the whole picture!
peppers, hot peppers, chives, and black beans this year -
"valiantly" because the long cold spring and super sodden summer so
far have made it rather a challenge - they're *finally* showing
signs of wanting to grow rather than hiding from the weather lol!
And we've got wild blackberries too! DS (8) has been going out daily
to harvest those that are ripe. We've made berry jam (combo of the
wild berries and store-bought strawberries, blueberries, and red
raspberries). He also requested some blackberry pancakes the other
day, ate about 4 of them (with a dab of honey) and I froze the rest
for quick snacking - he's eaten several of those toasted up with
honey since then.
Warning: shocking content ahead ....
Saturday evening we had salad for dinner: DS had lettuce, carrot,
tomato, celery, sliced hard boiled egg and shredded cheese, no
dressing, and said it was a "great dinner".
Okay, maybe not shocking to some of you but probably shocking to
others who wouldn't believe that an 8 year old would eat a salad,
short of parental pressure (eat your salad or no dessert).
> i.e. she'll eat cereal and fruit, but not cereal with fruit on itLOL I had to grin at this one - BTDT
>but her food choices are changing and evolving all the timeThis is so huge and wonderful - she hasn't lost sense of what her
> according to her own tastes and what her own body needs at the >
>moment.
own body needs based onwhat she's been told/trained she's "supposed
to" do - eat at certain times, eat certain foods and not others, and
so on (and what is "good" and "bad" certainly varies widely
depending on who you ask - even my favorite dark chocolate is now
being looked upon with favor for the antioxidant properties YIPPEE!)
>LOL again - DS goes in and out of cheese omelettes - when he's "on"
> She took about a year off from eating eggs other than in french
> toast and now she asks for scrambled eggs often.
omelettes, he can go through a dozen eggs in under a week - so we
just buy the 18 packs for a time and hard boil the rest whenever he
switches "off" eggs.
>PB oatmeal cookies made with raisins, skip the butter and sugar and
> Don't make peas the enemy! Eat popsicles in the bath! Worried
>about how
> many cookies/brownies your kids are eating? Make a healthy version
>that
> you can feel good about saying yes to at any time of the day.
use plain nonfat yogurt and mashed banana instead. It's got fruit,
dairy, protein, complex carbs and fiber - no added fat (just the PB)
or processed sugar.
> And mini carrots with ranch dressing was moreReminds me of a family gathering when DS was maybe 3 - my aunt had
> popular with the kids (ages 3-14) at my DD's 3rd birthday party
>than
> the brownies.
set out a real spread of stuff - chips and dips and cookies and
veggies and dip. I was getting a beverage or something and my aunt
came over and said "Can your son have broccoli and dip?" I
said "Sure". Then she said, "well, you might want to check on him" I
was a bit confused so I went over to the adjacent dining room where
the food was laid out. And there was DS - he had gotten himself up
on a chair to reach the table and he was elbow deep in the ranch dip
munching raw broccoli quite happily. I grinned at my "dipped" boy,
cleaned him up a bit, and scooped out a big scoop of dip onto a
separate plate and surrounded it with broccoli and moved him to
another location where he could eat messily safely. I think my aunt
was a bit puzzled by a 3 yr old who beelined for the broccoli.
Saturday, I was shopping and came home (with some chocolates for the
family) to find DS helping DH with some yardwork. After a bit, I
said "Time for a chocolate break" DS, who already knew I had brought
home his absolute favorite Lindt white chocolate, said "In a minute
as soon as I finish what I'm working on" Okay, guess he's not
compulsive about chocolate like his mom (and where'd he get that
thing for white chocolate anyway? lol)
> A diet that includesLOL I love that - a food dodecahedron!
> lots of the crunchy group, the frozen group, and the chocolate
>group,
> lol. We have a food dodecahedron in our family, forget the pyramid!
>
--Deb
drusila00
I am not trying to get anyone to eat less food but I do try to make
my son aware that he has choices when it comes to food consumption.
I buy 150.00 worth of food per month.
it is our entire food budget.
I strech it as far as I can, I use cupons, sales and discount
grocerys. I make beans and rice a lot. I use every trick I know to
make sure that my 150.00 goes as far as it possibly can.
My son is welcome to eat whatever he wands whenever he wants but
once it is gone for the month then well its gone. I can not go and
buy more and he will have to eat some other item next time.
if My son eats all the apples I have bought then there are no more.
if he eats all the cerial there is no more till next month.
if we have bought Icecream and it is gone in 1 day then there is no
more for the rest of the month.
if we buy a box of cupcakes and our son eats them all in a sitting
then there are no more cupcakes for the rest of the month.
there are always plenty of beans and rice and pasta. There are many
diferent types of food avalable but I do not have the financial
position to spend my food budget and then go and spend money I do
not have on more food because our son wants more of somthing he has
already ate the entire months worth of.
I'm not being mean and nobody is starving. My husband and I often
eat only 1 meal a day in order to stay within the budget and we are
not starving. We often eat the same things several days in a row
because it is economical to do so. a pot of soup beans can last 3-4
days when eaten with cornbread one day, rice the next and tortieas
on the 3rd day.
Does that clairify things a little and help make more sense of what
I wrote?
Diana
--- In [email protected], Pamela Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
my son aware that he has choices when it comes to food consumption.
I buy 150.00 worth of food per month.
it is our entire food budget.
I strech it as far as I can, I use cupons, sales and discount
grocerys. I make beans and rice a lot. I use every trick I know to
make sure that my 150.00 goes as far as it possibly can.
My son is welcome to eat whatever he wands whenever he wants but
once it is gone for the month then well its gone. I can not go and
buy more and he will have to eat some other item next time.
if My son eats all the apples I have bought then there are no more.
if he eats all the cerial there is no more till next month.
if we have bought Icecream and it is gone in 1 day then there is no
more for the rest of the month.
if we buy a box of cupcakes and our son eats them all in a sitting
then there are no more cupcakes for the rest of the month.
there are always plenty of beans and rice and pasta. There are many
diferent types of food avalable but I do not have the financial
position to spend my food budget and then go and spend money I do
not have on more food because our son wants more of somthing he has
already ate the entire months worth of.
I'm not being mean and nobody is starving. My husband and I often
eat only 1 meal a day in order to stay within the budget and we are
not starving. We often eat the same things several days in a row
because it is economical to do so. a pot of soup beans can last 3-4
days when eaten with cornbread one day, rice the next and tortieas
on the 3rd day.
Does that clairify things a little and help make more sense of what
I wrote?
Diana
--- In [email protected], Pamela Sorooshian
<pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>will
>
> On Jul 10, 2006, at 5:39 AM, drusila00 wrote:
>
> > My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs through
> > food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
> > because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we
> > buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all inthe
> > first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make thechoice
> > to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gonein
> > 2 days, sometimes not.your
>
> I'm confused. Are you (and also Maisha?) really trying to get
> kids to eat less food?to
>
> So - are you thinking they'll eat when they're not hungry?
>
> The thing about not limiting food is that kids eat what they need
> eat - eat when they're hungry, they don't binge now for fear ofthere
> not being enough later. Setting up a condition of food beingscarce
> induces people TO eat when they're not hungry.account
>
> I'm not saying that the transition might not drain your bank
> and I do understand not wanting to do that - but, from the wayboth
> of you describe how you limit food, it makes it sound like thekids
> will be eating less food when you limit it. I must be missingtimes
> something -- but Maisha - don't they just eat MORE during the
> the kitchen is open? And Diana - if he eats all the food in thefirst
> part of the month - I'm sure you don't really mean you don't lethim
> eat anything the rest of the month. So ???
>
> -pam
>
> Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
> Live Love Learn
> UNSCHOOL!
> <http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
>
>
>
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
drusila00
dang I wish I wouldn t post and then think of things to add.
I should add that the adults in the house have the exact same choices.
if *I* want to eat all the icecream or apples or cerial then its all
gone and there isnt any more for the month. I often make the choice to
leave some to spred out through the month.
and I am not saying we dont have 'fun' junkfoods sometimes, we do have
them just like we have some of everything.
--- In [email protected], "drusila00" <drusila00@...>
wrote:
I should add that the adults in the house have the exact same choices.
if *I* want to eat all the icecream or apples or cerial then its all
gone and there isnt any more for the month. I often make the choice to
leave some to spred out through the month.
and I am not saying we dont have 'fun' junkfoods sometimes, we do have
them just like we have some of everything.
--- In [email protected], "drusila00" <drusila00@...>
wrote:
>
> I am not trying to get anyone to eat less food but I do try to make
> my son aware that he has choices when it comes to food consumption.
>
elizabeth roberts
I thought I'd jump in and share... Logan has always been "picky" as an eater. We roll with it and don't make a big deal of it. If all he wants is steak (which he won't call steak - it's dead cow thank you very much!), he eats steak. If he wants a PBJ, or cereal or whatever...sure.
The other day I was shaving a carrot into my salad and Logan said "Hey, mom...I think I'll eat a carrot today." Sure, Buddy, want me to wash it for you? ..he said yes, so I did, and off he went. Now he asks for them once in awhile. Then he was telling his grandma "Hey, grandma, I've got two vegetables I like now, corn and carrots. I might try broccoli next but maybe not."
:-)
Beth
Sing, Dance, Laugh...LOVE!
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
The other day I was shaving a carrot into my salad and Logan said "Hey, mom...I think I'll eat a carrot today." Sure, Buddy, want me to wash it for you? ..he said yes, so I did, and off he went. Now he asks for them once in awhile. Then he was telling his grandma "Hey, grandma, I've got two vegetables I like now, corn and carrots. I might try broccoli next but maybe not."
:-)
Beth
Sing, Dance, Laugh...LOVE!
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Everyone is raving about the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
"And we've got wild blackberries too! "
Oooh, ooh...so do we!! I'm so excited to know that all the wild and
crazy vines all around my property are wild blackberries. We should
have a ton of ripe ones very soon.:)
As to eating salad for dinner...
Jalen sometimes eats nothing but brocolli for a meal. At four years
old he would do this. He'll also eat nothing but ice cream sometimes.
It all balances out in the end.
By purchasing more and more of the things they eat quickly, I've
gotten to the point where those things aren't so focused on. They are
just there. Ice cream bars have been going quickly still, so I just
keep stocking up on them. It becomes a non-issue that way, they don't
have that fear of loss that causes so many problems.
I don't think an atmosphere of lack, is an ideal unschooling situation.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Oooh, ooh...so do we!! I'm so excited to know that all the wild and
crazy vines all around my property are wild blackberries. We should
have a ton of ripe ones very soon.:)
As to eating salad for dinner...
Jalen sometimes eats nothing but brocolli for a meal. At four years
old he would do this. He'll also eat nothing but ice cream sometimes.
It all balances out in the end.
By purchasing more and more of the things they eat quickly, I've
gotten to the point where those things aren't so focused on. They are
just there. Ice cream bars have been going quickly still, so I just
keep stocking up on them. It becomes a non-issue that way, they don't
have that fear of loss that causes so many problems.
I don't think an atmosphere of lack, is an ideal unschooling situation.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Melissa
off of food for a while, on the other hand you could say
Not "We don't allow our kids to sit on the table", but you could say
"We offer our children many different ways to feel safely bigger when
they sit" or "We offer our children a chance to sit on the table when
the stakes are low (no food or crafts set up that could get flubbed)"
On the discussion, I think that Sue has a great perspective, again
going into words having power. If you are saying we allow, or we
don't allow, it's self-fulfilling even if you don't intend the words
the way you are saying them. Interfere itself sounds really negative,
what would it sound like if we said the kids want something, and I
help facilitate. SO...they want to do something, and I can choose to
facilitate or to not facilitate. I don't disallow my children
chocolate in the mornings, but i do facilitate choice. It may be that
they would appreciate something else equally sweet, but it's too
difficult to get an apple that easy to eat, but if someone peels it
and chops it up it's more appealing than chocolate, whereas they can
get chocolate quickly and not worry about a lot of preparation. Or
because of so many kids, there is a fear that someone else will eat
it if it is not eaten now, so we can say, do you really want the
chocolate now, or are you wanting to ensure you'll have it later?
Alot of our deschooling has been letting the kids know that we are
totally here and willing to do the extra work to get them what they
truly desire. Honestly, a candy bar in the morning has just as much
sugar as the boxed cereal :-P I've defended my choice on the cereal
to the moms who sniff when my kids are picking it out...I LOVE
pointing out to them that their kix has as much sugar as the trix LOL!
Servings for us is quick and dirty, it says on the box what a serving
is. They are almost always smaller than what we anticipate, and once
we did the measuring day, it was very much fun for us to see that our
normal bowls of cereal were two or three servings. It's given the
kids alot to think about, we personally don't limit to just one
serving, but mindful eating is as important as mindful parenting.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
Not "We don't allow our kids to sit on the table", but you could say
"We offer our children many different ways to feel safely bigger when
they sit" or "We offer our children a chance to sit on the table when
the stakes are low (no food or crafts set up that could get flubbed)"
On the discussion, I think that Sue has a great perspective, again
going into words having power. If you are saying we allow, or we
don't allow, it's self-fulfilling even if you don't intend the words
the way you are saying them. Interfere itself sounds really negative,
what would it sound like if we said the kids want something, and I
help facilitate. SO...they want to do something, and I can choose to
facilitate or to not facilitate. I don't disallow my children
chocolate in the mornings, but i do facilitate choice. It may be that
they would appreciate something else equally sweet, but it's too
difficult to get an apple that easy to eat, but if someone peels it
and chops it up it's more appealing than chocolate, whereas they can
get chocolate quickly and not worry about a lot of preparation. Or
because of so many kids, there is a fear that someone else will eat
it if it is not eaten now, so we can say, do you really want the
chocolate now, or are you wanting to ensure you'll have it later?
Alot of our deschooling has been letting the kids know that we are
totally here and willing to do the extra work to get them what they
truly desire. Honestly, a candy bar in the morning has just as much
sugar as the boxed cereal :-P I've defended my choice on the cereal
to the moms who sniff when my kids are picking it out...I LOVE
pointing out to them that their kix has as much sugar as the trix LOL!
Servings for us is quick and dirty, it says on the box what a serving
is. They are almost always smaller than what we anticipate, and once
we did the measuring day, it was very much fun for us to see that our
normal bowls of cereal were two or three servings. It's given the
kids alot to think about, we personally don't limit to just one
serving, but mindful eating is as important as mindful parenting.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jul 10, 2006, at 7:52 AM, Ren Allen wrote:
> Here's the word "allow" again. I have been thinking about that word
> in recent months, and how powerfully it reinforces the idea of
> parents being entirely in charge. But for a long time I couldn't
> think of an alternative. And then I thought of putting it a different
> way--not "what am I doing" but "what am I not doing." And I started
> saying, "I don't interfere." This, to me, is a more accurate
> description of what goes on--my kids want to do something or have
> something, and I can interfere or not interfere. Or I can help them
> do it.
>
> So I try not to say, "We allow kids to sit on tables at our house,"
> but "We don't interfere if kids want to sit on tables." Or, in this
> case, I would not say, "If Carl wants some chocolate before
> breakfast, I allow it," but "If Carl wants some chocolate before
> breakfast, I don't interfere," or "I help him get some."
>
> I wonder what a "serving" is and who decides. And what happens if
> there is disagreement about it.
>
> > Once they have eaten something to give them a little energy they
> > are free to have more of whatever they wanted.
>
> I think this means they can have more of something sweet after
> they've eaten something else? I'm always wary of schemes like this--I
> was a kid who would eat a whole meal I didn't want or need just to
> "earn" dessert. It would have been better for me to just eat the
> dessert, if that was the only thing I wanted.
>
> Su
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marsaili
We do pretty much the same thing---we have 7 kids and I do one big shopping
a month, the rest of the time I just run to the store for milk and produce.
I get snacks and pop once a month---and they know that they have to make it
last. I have also tried letting each kid pick out their choice of pop and
snack and they are in charge of it and can choose whether to make it last or
spread it out---with the 6 kids who are old enough to choose, that got
pretty expensive. Now, I just buy stuff they all like in bulk at Sam's and
I put a little out at a time and hope they make it last. I have lots of
fruits and veggies available as well and I ask that people eat at meal times
and snack times (3 meals a day and 3 snacks), otherwise the teenagers will
be making 3 course snacks in the middle of the night or right before dinner.
It's a hard thing to juggle, trying not to be demanding about the food while
also trying to ensure that we have some left before next payday. If I don't
put some sort of restriction on, the teenagers and my 8 year old would eat
us out of house and home in 3 days! One thing I have been doing---I hide
some of the good stuff, so later in the month when supplies are getting low,
I pull out something yummy and just put it in the snack jars without telling
anyone---and they just happen to find it and are thrilled! Also, I bake a
lot so they have fresh breads and cookies or granola bars available to
them--which I prefer them to eat over the processed junk they love so much!
Each week we all get to choose what we're baking and we make big batches.
This has cut down on my snack bill considerably and the kids are eating
healthier as well! As long as there is something homemade available, they
don't feel the need to have the processed junk food so much--and the great
thing is that they are making these choices themselves!
Leslie:-)
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Maisha Khalfani
Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2006 11:30 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]food limits
In our house the kids are allowed to eat pretty much whatever they want.
However....I have had to put limits on how often they go into the kitchen.
We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it to last the whole month.
I've found that if one child gets something to eat, then another and another
goes in the kitchen (even if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the
food is gone in 3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a
time for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so that
people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our house the food
can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit. That's just what I've done
and it works for our family.
Maisha Khalfani
Khalfani Family Adventures
http://khalfanifami <http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com>
lyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifami
<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/> lyadventures.blogspot.com/>
EarthSpirit Readings
http://www.geocitie <http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
s.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocitie
<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
s.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
a month, the rest of the time I just run to the store for milk and produce.
I get snacks and pop once a month---and they know that they have to make it
last. I have also tried letting each kid pick out their choice of pop and
snack and they are in charge of it and can choose whether to make it last or
spread it out---with the 6 kids who are old enough to choose, that got
pretty expensive. Now, I just buy stuff they all like in bulk at Sam's and
I put a little out at a time and hope they make it last. I have lots of
fruits and veggies available as well and I ask that people eat at meal times
and snack times (3 meals a day and 3 snacks), otherwise the teenagers will
be making 3 course snacks in the middle of the night or right before dinner.
It's a hard thing to juggle, trying not to be demanding about the food while
also trying to ensure that we have some left before next payday. If I don't
put some sort of restriction on, the teenagers and my 8 year old would eat
us out of house and home in 3 days! One thing I have been doing---I hide
some of the good stuff, so later in the month when supplies are getting low,
I pull out something yummy and just put it in the snack jars without telling
anyone---and they just happen to find it and are thrilled! Also, I bake a
lot so they have fresh breads and cookies or granola bars available to
them--which I prefer them to eat over the processed junk they love so much!
Each week we all get to choose what we're baking and we make big batches.
This has cut down on my snack bill considerably and the kids are eating
healthier as well! As long as there is something homemade available, they
don't feel the need to have the processed junk food so much--and the great
thing is that they are making these choices themselves!
Leslie:-)
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Maisha Khalfani
Sent: Sunday, July 09, 2006 11:30 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]food limits
In our house the kids are allowed to eat pretty much whatever they want.
However....I have had to put limits on how often they go into the kitchen.
We have a very fixed food budget, and I need it to last the whole month.
I've found that if one child gets something to eat, then another and another
goes in the kitchen (even if they've just eaten). Next thing I know half the
food is gone in 3-5 days. So I've had to institute a time for "breakfast", a
time for "lunch", a time for "dinner", and a time for "snacks" just so that
people aren't eating 'cause some else is. With 7 ppl in our house the food
can go quite fast and I need it to last a bit. That's just what I've done
and it works for our family.
Maisha Khalfani
Khalfani Family Adventures
http://khalfanifami <http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com>
lyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifami
<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/> lyadventures.blogspot.com/>
EarthSpirit Readings
http://www.geocitie <http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
s.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocitie
<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
s.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
Got it.
What wasn't clear was that you meant that if one specific thing was
gone, then that was it for that item, for the month. You made it
sound like if he ate all the food, then that would be all the food he
could have - no more eating (at all) until next month.
I think maybe you've misunderstood the way the word, "unlimited" is
being used.
Most of us have food budgets, I'm sure. None of us can afford to buy
absolutely everything our family might wish for.
"Food limits" refers to conventional parenting methods of the parent
deciding exactly what food will be purchased, what will be served,
when it will be served, and how much a child must eat, often whether
they like it or not.
Not having such limits doesn't mean we magically have the ability to
buy everything everybody wants, all the time. Real life requires
living within budget constraints.
However - the question is do the kids have a say-so in how much of
the family budget goes toward food? That $150 per month - is that
something everybody understands and agrees with or would they like to
try to find some way to give up something else and have a little more
money for food? In other words, with such a limited budget, we'd
probably make it a family decision. Another possibility would be to
give each kid a small amount of that money to decide how to spend -
in other words, find ways to let them help with the decision making,
even though it is within a constraint. When I get ready to go
shopping, I ask everybody - "Anybody want to put something on my
list?" They say things like broccoli, bananas, milk, cucumbers,
specific cereals, popcorn -- they almost never say ice cream or cake
or cookies. Just once in a while does anybody straight out ask for
something like a box of Oreos - if they do, I make an effort to get
it. I'm sure you're doing something similar.
Once the food is home and in the kitchen, they can choose what and
when to eat (except if something was special for one person, I
sometimes put someone's name on it OR if I have plans to cook with
something, I might tell people not to eat it). If they eat all the
ice cream the first day after shopping - that's okay. But if I see
one person eating a whole lot of something, I'd probably remind them
to make sure they consider others who might want it. Doesn't happen
too often - but occasionally somebody eats up something that someone
else was looking forward to - when it does happen, I just make sure
to get that person some of it the next time I shop and make sure that
this time they get some of it.
-pam
What wasn't clear was that you meant that if one specific thing was
gone, then that was it for that item, for the month. You made it
sound like if he ate all the food, then that would be all the food he
could have - no more eating (at all) until next month.
I think maybe you've misunderstood the way the word, "unlimited" is
being used.
Most of us have food budgets, I'm sure. None of us can afford to buy
absolutely everything our family might wish for.
"Food limits" refers to conventional parenting methods of the parent
deciding exactly what food will be purchased, what will be served,
when it will be served, and how much a child must eat, often whether
they like it or not.
Not having such limits doesn't mean we magically have the ability to
buy everything everybody wants, all the time. Real life requires
living within budget constraints.
However - the question is do the kids have a say-so in how much of
the family budget goes toward food? That $150 per month - is that
something everybody understands and agrees with or would they like to
try to find some way to give up something else and have a little more
money for food? In other words, with such a limited budget, we'd
probably make it a family decision. Another possibility would be to
give each kid a small amount of that money to decide how to spend -
in other words, find ways to let them help with the decision making,
even though it is within a constraint. When I get ready to go
shopping, I ask everybody - "Anybody want to put something on my
list?" They say things like broccoli, bananas, milk, cucumbers,
specific cereals, popcorn -- they almost never say ice cream or cake
or cookies. Just once in a while does anybody straight out ask for
something like a box of Oreos - if they do, I make an effort to get
it. I'm sure you're doing something similar.
Once the food is home and in the kitchen, they can choose what and
when to eat (except if something was special for one person, I
sometimes put someone's name on it OR if I have plans to cook with
something, I might tell people not to eat it). If they eat all the
ice cream the first day after shopping - that's okay. But if I see
one person eating a whole lot of something, I'd probably remind them
to make sure they consider others who might want it. Doesn't happen
too often - but occasionally somebody eats up something that someone
else was looking forward to - when it does happen, I just make sure
to get that person some of it the next time I shop and make sure that
this time they get some of it.
-pam
On Jul 10, 2006, at 12:56 PM, drusila00 wrote:
> I am not trying to get anyone to eat less food but I do try to make
> my son aware that he has choices when it comes to food consumption.
>
> I buy 150.00 worth of food per month.
> it is our entire food budget.
> I strech it as far as I can, I use cupons, sales and discount
> grocerys. I make beans and rice a lot. I use every trick I know to
> make sure that my 150.00 goes as far as it possibly can.
>
> My son is welcome to eat whatever he wands whenever he wants but
> once it is gone for the month then well its gone. I can not go and
> buy more and he will have to eat some other item next time.
>
> if My son eats all the apples I have bought then there are no more.
> if he eats all the cerial there is no more till next month.
> if we have bought Icecream and it is gone in 1 day then there is no
> more for the rest of the month.
> if we buy a box of cupcakes and our son eats them all in a sitting
> then there are no more cupcakes for the rest of the month.
>
> there are always plenty of beans and rice and pasta. There are many
> diferent types of food avalable but I do not have the financial
> position to spend my food budget and then go and spend money I do
> not have on more food because our son wants more of somthing he has
> already ate the entire months worth of.
>
> I'm not being mean and nobody is starving. My husband and I often
> eat only 1 meal a day in order to stay within the budget and we are
> not starving. We often eat the same things several days in a row
> because it is economical to do so. a pot of soup beans can last 3-4
> days when eaten with cornbread one day, rice the next and tortieas
> on the 3rd day.
>
>
> Does that clairify things a little and help make more sense of what
> I wrote?
>
> Diana
>
>
>
> --- In [email protected], Pamela Sorooshian
> <pamsoroosh@...> wrote:
>>
>>
>> On Jul 10, 2006, at 5:39 AM, drusila00 wrote:
>>
>>> My son who is 11 could snack all dya and night and runs through
>>> food at an amazing rate. so what we did was we have told him that
>>> because we have a set ammount of money to buy food with that we
> will
>>> buy what should last through the month but if he eats it all in
> the
>>> first week there won't be any more. he is welcome to make the
> choice
>>> to eat it all at once or spred it out. sometimes things are gone
> in
>>> 2 days, sometimes not.
>>
>> I'm confused. Are you (and also Maisha?) really trying to get
> your
>> kids to eat less food?
>>
>> So - are you thinking they'll eat when they're not hungry?
>>
>> The thing about not limiting food is that kids eat what they need
> to
>> eat - eat when they're hungry, they don't binge now for fear of
> there
>> not being enough later. Setting up a condition of food being
> scarce
>> induces people TO eat when they're not hungry.
>>
>> I'm not saying that the transition might not drain your bank
> account
>> and I do understand not wanting to do that - but, from the way
> both
>> of you describe how you limit food, it makes it sound like the
> kids
>> will be eating less food when you limit it. I must be missing
>> something -- but Maisha - don't they just eat MORE during the
> times
>> the kitchen is open? And Diana - if he eats all the food in the
> first
>> part of the month - I'm sure you don't really mean you don't let
> him
>> eat anything the rest of the month. So ???
>>
>> -pam
>>
>> Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
>> Live Love Learn
>> UNSCHOOL!
>> <http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor --------------------
> ~-->
> Check out the new improvements in Yahoo! Groups email.
> http://us.click.yahoo.com/6pRQfA/fOaOAA/yQLSAA/0xXolB/TM
> --------------------------------------------------------------------
> ~->
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jul 10, 2006, at 1:24 PM, elizabeth roberts wrote:
My niece ate only a very very few foods until she was about 17 years
old - apples and applesauce, peanut butter, white bread or white
flour tortillas, cheddar cheese, refried beans.
At 18 she started experimenting with other foods and, at 19, she eats
a relatively wide selection. She's not adventurous in her eating -
not at ALL. But she's strong and beautiful and healthy and she does
NOT have an eating disorder and I'm so glad my sister (her mother)
just went along with her eating habits and never made any big deal
out of it - accommodated her even when other busybodies were telling
her she had to make her eat more different foods, etc.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> "Hey, grandma, I've got two vegetables I like now, corn andI think that is awesome!!
> carrots. I might try broccoli next but maybe not."
My niece ate only a very very few foods until she was about 17 years
old - apples and applesauce, peanut butter, white bread or white
flour tortillas, cheddar cheese, refried beans.
At 18 she started experimenting with other foods and, at 19, she eats
a relatively wide selection. She's not adventurous in her eating -
not at ALL. But she's strong and beautiful and healthy and she does
NOT have an eating disorder and I'm so glad my sister (her mother)
just went along with her eating habits and never made any big deal
out of it - accommodated her even when other busybodies were telling
her she had to make her eat more different foods, etc.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
marsaili
While we do have snack times and meal times---the kids choose when they eat
between meals and what they get to eat. We have a pretty loose schedule so
I tend to make meals when all of us are hungry--which means we can eat lunch
as early as 11 or as late as 4 and dinner at 9 or whatever. They all eat
breakfast when they feel ready to---I know when my 8 year old wakes up he's
gonna want his over easy egg whites and toast with cream cheese--the
teenagers tend to all get up at different times so they just get themselves
some cereal. All the kids can eat whenever they want---but I also have
snacks available for them between meals that I make at certain times. If a
kid says they are hungry, I offer them something to eat---no one is ever
told no---I just put restrictions on the more expensive junk foods so they
last longer than a day or so.
Leslie:-)
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Melissa
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2006 11:24 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] food limits
Well, it does *sound* rather controlling. But I think Maisha's family
is kind of like ours right now, where we are sliding on the spectrum
of unschooling. If we jumped straight to where you're at, there would
be problems. My children DO still choose to eat when they see someone
eat, basically because they are worried about things being fair
(that's mostly age and experience I think, in addition to the fact if
you have nine people in your household, if two or three someones ate
all they wanted of something, it's very possible that none would be
left for the next seven or eight persons). If so-n-so gets a candy
bar, it doesn't matter what their internal state is, THEY want a
candy bar. So I would say that body signals right now are not the
best way to judge hunger.
We're not really taking a choice away, we're just moving towards
choice. It's getting better all the time (heehee, one of my favorite
songs). If one of my kids had ever said they were starving, of course
I would offer them some choices. If someone said they were a little
snacky and just wanting to taste something, then I might say "Well,
dinner is in 15 minutes, could you wait til then?" We don't
necessarily even eat the same thing at dinner, but if my ten yo is
just a little hungry, I think he could talk to me for fifteen minutes
and then eat it with us.
It might be different a little for us because i do leave a snack tray
out all day...and that's helped a lot with the kids being able to
learn themselves better. It also helps that ours our a little younger
than some of Maisha's, so a little less ingrained, yes?
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo <http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma> com/multimomma
between meals and what they get to eat. We have a pretty loose schedule so
I tend to make meals when all of us are hungry--which means we can eat lunch
as early as 11 or as late as 4 and dinner at 9 or whatever. They all eat
breakfast when they feel ready to---I know when my 8 year old wakes up he's
gonna want his over easy egg whites and toast with cream cheese--the
teenagers tend to all get up at different times so they just get themselves
some cereal. All the kids can eat whenever they want---but I also have
snacks available for them between meals that I make at certain times. If a
kid says they are hungry, I offer them something to eat---no one is ever
told no---I just put restrictions on the more expensive junk foods so they
last longer than a day or so.
Leslie:-)
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Melissa
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2006 11:24 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] food limits
Well, it does *sound* rather controlling. But I think Maisha's family
is kind of like ours right now, where we are sliding on the spectrum
of unschooling. If we jumped straight to where you're at, there would
be problems. My children DO still choose to eat when they see someone
eat, basically because they are worried about things being fair
(that's mostly age and experience I think, in addition to the fact if
you have nine people in your household, if two or three someones ate
all they wanted of something, it's very possible that none would be
left for the next seven or eight persons). If so-n-so gets a candy
bar, it doesn't matter what their internal state is, THEY want a
candy bar. So I would say that body signals right now are not the
best way to judge hunger.
We're not really taking a choice away, we're just moving towards
choice. It's getting better all the time (heehee, one of my favorite
songs). If one of my kids had ever said they were starving, of course
I would offer them some choices. If someone said they were a little
snacky and just wanting to taste something, then I might say "Well,
dinner is in 15 minutes, could you wait til then?" We don't
necessarily even eat the same thing at dinner, but if my ten yo is
just a little hungry, I think he could talk to me for fifteen minutes
and then eat it with us.
It might be different a little for us because i do leave a snack tray
out all day...and that's helped a lot with the kids being able to
learn themselves better. It also helps that ours our a little younger
than some of Maisha's, so a little less ingrained, yes?
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo <http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma> com/multimomma
On Jul 10, 2006, at 8:00 AM, Ren Allen wrote:
> I'm sorry Maisha, but the whole idea of limiting WHEN a person can eat
> just really bothers me. I keep thinking of different aspects to
> this....
>
> First of all, to think that 7 people would all need to eat at the same
> time, that their body signals could somehow be aligned is crazy. This
> means that some of the children are probably going hungry longer than
> they'd like, OR eating when they really don't need to because it's
> "time".
>
> Secondly, if my dh told me "uh, uh, you can't have that piece of toast
> right now, it's not eating time" I'd want to DECK him! Someone telling
> me when MY body should have food would really bother me. It would be
> seen as a form of emotional abuse if spouses did this to each other.
> It's controlling things about another human being they have no right
> to control.
>
> The right to bodily sovereignity is highly important to me. Eating is
> such a part of daily human survival, I can't imagine taking that right
> of choice from my children.
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Deb
--- In [email protected], "drusila00"
<drusila00@...> wrote:
to spread it out for the whole month. Different choice, not wrong
choice. I would, however, sit down as a family and discuss the
situation as in "Okay we've got x people and y apples and z days
until the next grocery trip. I know we all like apples. How do we
get this sorted out reasonably for everyone?" I think perhaps (just
guessing based on what you've written) that "making him aware of
food choices" has come across differently to him than you intended.
It's not so much "making him aware of choices" as it is scolding
that he didn't choose to spread things out or choose the same way
you would.
BTW eating one meal a day is a choice too - and not a particularly
healthy one at that.
found to have lots of tasty treats AND not spend a lot of money. For
the cost of one bag of ho hum store bagged cookies, I can make
hundreds of our favorites. Home made sweet potato chips and flour
tortillas and such are way better than store bought stuff too.
--Deb
<drusila00@...> wrote:
>And he is making a different choice than you are. He's choosing not
> I often make the choice to
> leave some to spred out through the month.
to spread it out for the whole month. Different choice, not wrong
choice. I would, however, sit down as a family and discuss the
situation as in "Okay we've got x people and y apples and z days
until the next grocery trip. I know we all like apples. How do we
get this sorted out reasonably for everyone?" I think perhaps (just
guessing based on what you've written) that "making him aware of
food choices" has come across differently to him than you intended.
It's not so much "making him aware of choices" as it is scolding
that he didn't choose to spread things out or choose the same way
you would.
BTW eating one meal a day is a choice too - and not a particularly
healthy one at that.
> and I am not saying we dont have 'fun' junkfoods sometimes, we doI'm sure you're already baking lots - that's the best way we've
>have
> them just like we have some of everything.
found to have lots of tasty treats AND not spend a lot of money. For
the cost of one bag of ho hum store bagged cookies, I can make
hundreds of our favorites. Home made sweet potato chips and flour
tortillas and such are way better than store bought stuff too.
--Deb
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jul 10, 2006, at 2:19 PM, marsaili wrote:
hungry. Teenagers do get hungry at night - why shouldn't they eat
when they are hungry? You are preventing them from eating as much as
they would like to eat? So are they wanting to eat when they're not
hungry?
I feed teenage boys who hang around with my three girls - have done
so for years. They are SO grateful. They are hungry a lot and they
sometimes say that they're not getting fed enough at home. The
quantity of food they can sometimes eat IS pretty amazing. I made
pancakes for some kids the other day and I felt like I just kept
making and making and making them - could hardly believe they ate
that many. But - they're hungry - that's why they are eating.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I have lots ofI still don't understand how you do this without making people go
> fruits and veggies available as well and I ask that people eat at
> meal times
> and snack times (3 meals a day and 3 snacks), otherwise the
> teenagers will
> be making 3 course snacks in the middle of the night or right
> before dinner.
> It's a hard thing to juggle, trying not to be demanding about the
> food while
> also trying to ensure that we have some left before next payday.
> If I don't
> put some sort of restriction on, the teenagers and my 8 year old
> would eat
> us out of house and home in 3 days!
hungry. Teenagers do get hungry at night - why shouldn't they eat
when they are hungry? You are preventing them from eating as much as
they would like to eat? So are they wanting to eat when they're not
hungry?
I feed teenage boys who hang around with my three girls - have done
so for years. They are SO grateful. They are hungry a lot and they
sometimes say that they're not getting fed enough at home. The
quantity of food they can sometimes eat IS pretty amazing. I made
pancakes for some kids the other day and I felt like I just kept
making and making and making them - could hardly believe they ate
that many. But - they're hungry - that's why they are eating.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 7/10/06, Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
go through trends. There will be a few weeks where all they want are
homemade baked goods. The next week it will be apples and bananas.
The week after that they are wanting carrots and frozen fruit bars and
after that will be pizzas and frozen peas. Then we start back over
again :-) I figure the whole cycle balances out eventually. Right now
we are into ice cream sandwiches and sherbert. (How we are desiring
autumn!)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
> By purchasing more and more of the things they eat quickly, I'veI've also found in doing this that the kids (and adults LOL!) tend to
> gotten to the point where those things aren't so focused on. They are
> just there. Ice cream bars have been going quickly still, so I just
> keep stocking up on them. It becomes a non-issue that way, they don't
> have that fear of loss that causes so many problems.
go through trends. There will be a few weeks where all they want are
homemade baked goods. The next week it will be apples and bananas.
The week after that they are wanting carrots and frozen fruit bars and
after that will be pizzas and frozen peas. Then we start back over
again :-) I figure the whole cycle balances out eventually. Right now
we are into ice cream sandwiches and sherbert. (How we are desiring
autumn!)
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
Ren Allen
~ I have lots of fruits and veggies available as well and I ask that
people eat at meal times and snack times (3 meals a day and 3 snacks),
otherwise the teenagers will be making 3 course snacks in the middle
of the night or right before dinner.~
We don't have "meal times" though we do sit down to a dinner together
sometimes. And I DO have teens making food in the middle of the
night, when THEY are hungry, as they should. If a person is hungry
before dinner, that's when they should eat. If they're hungry in the
middle of the night, that's when they should eat. I can't imagine
trying to control when and what and how much my children ate with the
RU principles in mind.
I'm hearing a lot about mealtimes and how the family could not afford
to feed all these children if the kids had free access. So one of two
things is happening, either the children are NOT getting enough food
to satisfy them, OR the parents are assuming because there have been
controls in place that the binging would be a continual thing.
Kids, like all humans, are going to eat a certain amount to be
satisfied. So if food has to be restricted to afford keeping up with
all these kids, are any of them really getting what they need/want?
If they need a certain amount of food regularly, it would be about the
same amount from day to day, would it not? So how does free access
equal a higher grocery budget?
What is basically being said, is that without controls, kids eat MORE.
Maybe they NEED more.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
people eat at meal times and snack times (3 meals a day and 3 snacks),
otherwise the teenagers will be making 3 course snacks in the middle
of the night or right before dinner.~
We don't have "meal times" though we do sit down to a dinner together
sometimes. And I DO have teens making food in the middle of the
night, when THEY are hungry, as they should. If a person is hungry
before dinner, that's when they should eat. If they're hungry in the
middle of the night, that's when they should eat. I can't imagine
trying to control when and what and how much my children ate with the
RU principles in mind.
I'm hearing a lot about mealtimes and how the family could not afford
to feed all these children if the kids had free access. So one of two
things is happening, either the children are NOT getting enough food
to satisfy them, OR the parents are assuming because there have been
controls in place that the binging would be a continual thing.
Kids, like all humans, are going to eat a certain amount to be
satisfied. So if food has to be restricted to afford keeping up with
all these kids, are any of them really getting what they need/want?
If they need a certain amount of food regularly, it would be about the
same amount from day to day, would it not? So how does free access
equal a higher grocery budget?
What is basically being said, is that without controls, kids eat MORE.
Maybe they NEED more.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
marsaili
I don't stop them from eating when they want to---I just ask that they don't
eat up everything in one snack binge. Anyone in my house can eat at any
time---but I try to make them have enough choices of any kinds of foods
during the day and evening so they aren't so likely to be ravenous at night.
When everyone IS hungry at night, then we usually do something like make
homemade pretzels (like Aunt Annies) or I use cresent rolls and we make
pizza roll ups or we make s'mores. We always have a case of popcorn so
anyone can eat that at any time. I just limit the expensive stuff and
spread that out throughout the month---otherwise they would eat that in one
sitting. No one ever goes hungry in this house!
Leslie:-)
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2006 5:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]food limits
eat up everything in one snack binge. Anyone in my house can eat at any
time---but I try to make them have enough choices of any kinds of foods
during the day and evening so they aren't so likely to be ravenous at night.
When everyone IS hungry at night, then we usually do something like make
homemade pretzels (like Aunt Annies) or I use cresent rolls and we make
pizza roll ups or we make s'mores. We always have a case of popcorn so
anyone can eat that at any time. I just limit the expensive stuff and
spread that out throughout the month---otherwise they would eat that in one
sitting. No one ever goes hungry in this house!
Leslie:-)
_____
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of Pamela Sorooshian
Sent: Monday, July 10, 2006 5:46 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics]food limits
On Jul 10, 2006, at 2:19 PM, marsaili wrote:
> I have lots of
> fruits and veggies available as well and I ask that people eat at
> meal times
> and snack times (3 meals a day and 3 snacks), otherwise the
> teenagers will
> be making 3 course snacks in the middle of the night or right
> before dinner.
> It's a hard thing to juggle, trying not to be demanding about the
> food while
> also trying to ensure that we have some left before next payday.
> If I don't
> put some sort of restriction on, the teenagers and my 8 year old
> would eat
> us out of house and home in 3 days!
I still don't understand how you do this without making people go
hungry. Teenagers do get hungry at night - why shouldn't they eat
when they are hungry? You are preventing them from eating as much as
they would like to eat? So are they wanting to eat when they're not
hungry?
I feed teenage boys who hang around with my three girls - have done
so for years. They are SO grateful. They are hungry a lot and they
sometimes say that they're not getting fed enough at home. The
quantity of food they can sometimes eat IS pretty amazing. I made
pancakes for some kids the other day and I felt like I just kept
making and making and making them - could hardly believe they ate
that many. But - they're hungry - that's why they are eating.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepres <http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
s.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elissa Jill Cleaveland
I feed teenage boys who hang around with my three girls - have done
so for years. They are SO grateful. They are hungry a lot and they
sometimes say that they're not getting fed enough at home.
***********
My oldest son is overweight. He's a big kid anyway (6'5" 300 #s give or take) So obviously, part of that is genetics, but I think that the biggest reason is that for the years that he lived with his father and step mother, she controlled his food intake - doling out portions, fixing his plate (at 13) and limiting his time in the kitchen. He used to wait until everyone in the house was asleep and sneak upstairs to the kitchen and eat in front of the fridge.
Sad. Thank goddess he's here now. He can eat whatever he wants.
Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
so for years. They are SO grateful. They are hungry a lot and they
sometimes say that they're not getting fed enough at home.
***********
My oldest son is overweight. He's a big kid anyway (6'5" 300 #s give or take) So obviously, part of that is genetics, but I think that the biggest reason is that for the years that he lived with his father and step mother, she controlled his food intake - doling out portions, fixing his plate (at 13) and limiting his time in the kitchen. He used to wait until everyone in the house was asleep and sneak upstairs to the kitchen and eat in front of the fridge.
Sad. Thank goddess he's here now. He can eat whatever he wants.
Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elissa Jill Cleaveland
that the kids (and adults LOL!) tend to
go through trends.
********
Same here. I just wish I could figure out the trends!!
Maybe look in the newspaper next to the column that contains the school lunch menu?
LOL.
Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
go through trends.
********
Same here. I just wish I could figure out the trends!!
Maybe look in the newspaper next to the column that contains the school lunch menu?
LOL.
Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]