Update
agasma7
I wanted to give an update on our unschooling progress.
My eldest daughter (who finished the year at her school) is
currently on vacataion with family in another state doing all the
wonderful things she loves to do and being spoiled to no end. Can't
wait to get her back though!
My 6 year old has been dating other kids like crazy. We went
camping, to state parks to play, hiking, swimming and kyacking.
(which is more outings than we have taken in a year because of
school-hell at home and running back and forth to the private school-
which I realize was all self-inflicted). I haven't pushed a single
paper in her direction to complete.
She asked me for some papers yesterday because she was tired of
playing Barbies. So she matched words to pictures. I almost screwed
up and told her she got one wrong. I said, I think this word goes to
the other picture. She slapped the table and immediately got
frustrated. I looked again at the paper and said "you know what? I'm
wrong. It looks like that word can fit there too. (it really could-
it just wasn't the answer THEY wanted). I told her there is more
than one way to answer a problem and don't let anybody tell her
there is just one way. Good Job". She beamed and giggled.
She is 6 and isn't a great reader. She has very little interest in
sitting and learning to do it. She isn't even a bit "read to me"
child. Never has been. So instead of stressing about it which I have
done so well in the past, I just decided to give her time. I know
she will be able to read when she needs to.
When we went hiking she pointed out the many animals we saw, gave
her opinions on the scene, decided which paths to take. She was such
a pleasure to spend time with.
Cartoons went off PBS (which, if we are home, I have been letting
them watch until they are done)and a documentary about fire ants
came on. I assumed she was just zoning with my 3 and half year old.
I said, okay, time to turn the tv off and go outside. BOTH of them
said "NOoooo" My 6 year old said "This is interesting" and my 3 and
half year old put his hands on the tv screen and said "I'm watching
it". LOL!
I haven't even given my son (3 1/2 yr old) a single formal reading
lesson or color lesson or shape lesson.
He loves books more than any toy and is constantly saying "read to
me". He brings me magazinges, books, pamphlets, whatever. He points
to letters and guesses at what they are-I tell him the correct
letter, he repeats me, and we continue reading. He wants to know
what numbers are and colors are and shapes are. (popcicles are great
for that-if I cared) He asks. I don't have to put him in "circle
time" or "book hour", all day is learning time.
We are expecting our 5th child and I took my son with me to an
ultrasound. The baby is only 10 wks, so there isn't much to look at.
And for the novice it might be hard to see what it is. As soon as
she located the baby, my son said (we had been telling him there was
a baby in there) "Look mommy-the baby!" I smiled at him and said
yes. He said "The baby is down there in the tummy". When the baby
moved he said "look the baby moved...what's he doing?" When she went
to measure the placenta and we couldn't see the baby anymore, he
said "Mommy, where'd the baby go?" It was classic. I didn't even
know before he said anything that he was watching. I didn't tell him
that we were going to look at the baby either. I just said "going to
the dr."
The best part...after it was over and I was sitting in a chair, he
was so excited about the baby he walked up to me and said "I wanna
see the baby" as he tried to look down my throat! How logical. :)
That's probably how it got in, you know.
My baby who is a year and a half watches everything (he actually
owns the world, you can see it on his face) brings me books just
like his older brother.
Today, we are painting in the front yard, and I have a recipe for
slime.
It's going to be a really good day...again.
Free.
My eldest daughter (who finished the year at her school) is
currently on vacataion with family in another state doing all the
wonderful things she loves to do and being spoiled to no end. Can't
wait to get her back though!
My 6 year old has been dating other kids like crazy. We went
camping, to state parks to play, hiking, swimming and kyacking.
(which is more outings than we have taken in a year because of
school-hell at home and running back and forth to the private school-
which I realize was all self-inflicted). I haven't pushed a single
paper in her direction to complete.
She asked me for some papers yesterday because she was tired of
playing Barbies. So she matched words to pictures. I almost screwed
up and told her she got one wrong. I said, I think this word goes to
the other picture. She slapped the table and immediately got
frustrated. I looked again at the paper and said "you know what? I'm
wrong. It looks like that word can fit there too. (it really could-
it just wasn't the answer THEY wanted). I told her there is more
than one way to answer a problem and don't let anybody tell her
there is just one way. Good Job". She beamed and giggled.
She is 6 and isn't a great reader. She has very little interest in
sitting and learning to do it. She isn't even a bit "read to me"
child. Never has been. So instead of stressing about it which I have
done so well in the past, I just decided to give her time. I know
she will be able to read when she needs to.
When we went hiking she pointed out the many animals we saw, gave
her opinions on the scene, decided which paths to take. She was such
a pleasure to spend time with.
Cartoons went off PBS (which, if we are home, I have been letting
them watch until they are done)and a documentary about fire ants
came on. I assumed she was just zoning with my 3 and half year old.
I said, okay, time to turn the tv off and go outside. BOTH of them
said "NOoooo" My 6 year old said "This is interesting" and my 3 and
half year old put his hands on the tv screen and said "I'm watching
it". LOL!
I haven't even given my son (3 1/2 yr old) a single formal reading
lesson or color lesson or shape lesson.
He loves books more than any toy and is constantly saying "read to
me". He brings me magazinges, books, pamphlets, whatever. He points
to letters and guesses at what they are-I tell him the correct
letter, he repeats me, and we continue reading. He wants to know
what numbers are and colors are and shapes are. (popcicles are great
for that-if I cared) He asks. I don't have to put him in "circle
time" or "book hour", all day is learning time.
We are expecting our 5th child and I took my son with me to an
ultrasound. The baby is only 10 wks, so there isn't much to look at.
And for the novice it might be hard to see what it is. As soon as
she located the baby, my son said (we had been telling him there was
a baby in there) "Look mommy-the baby!" I smiled at him and said
yes. He said "The baby is down there in the tummy". When the baby
moved he said "look the baby moved...what's he doing?" When she went
to measure the placenta and we couldn't see the baby anymore, he
said "Mommy, where'd the baby go?" It was classic. I didn't even
know before he said anything that he was watching. I didn't tell him
that we were going to look at the baby either. I just said "going to
the dr."
The best part...after it was over and I was sitting in a chair, he
was so excited about the baby he walked up to me and said "I wanna
see the baby" as he tried to look down my throat! How logical. :)
That's probably how it got in, you know.
My baby who is a year and a half watches everything (he actually
owns the world, you can see it on his face) brings me books just
like his older brother.
Today, we are painting in the front yard, and I have a recipe for
slime.
It's going to be a really good day...again.
Free.
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jul 6, 2006, at 7:49 AM, agasma7 wrote:
didn't have formal reading lessons or color lessons or shape lessons.
Can you believe it? At 21, 18, and 15 they not only know how to read,
they know the names of colors and shapes I've never even heard of! <G>
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I haven't even given my son (3 1/2 yr old) a single formal readingJust to reinforce your own decision, here -- I have three kids who
> lesson or color lesson or shape lesson.
didn't have formal reading lessons or color lessons or shape lessons.
Can you believe it? At 21, 18, and 15 they not only know how to read,
they know the names of colors and shapes I've never even heard of! <G>
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
WitchyMama
I just wanted to say, as someone just beginning and practicing "letting go"
and trusting in my childrens natural desire to learn... this was beautiful
and encouraging to read. Thank you! =)
~Ana
and trusting in my childrens natural desire to learn... this was beautiful
and encouraging to read. Thank you! =)
~Ana
On 7/6/06, agasma7 <facingeast@...> wrote:
>
> I wanted to give an update on our unschooling progress.
>
>
> .__,
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
In a message dated 7/6/2006 1:38:31 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
facingeast@... writes:
Today, we are painting in the front yard, and I have a recipe for
slime.
It's going to be a really good day...again.
Free.
********
Thanks, I enjoyed a glimpse into your day. I remember those early "hey, I'm
unschooling!" days and they were magical!
As with life, some days are less than magical <g>, but they are always
better than live before unschooling.
Have a great day, again.
Leslie in SC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
facingeast@... writes:
Today, we are painting in the front yard, and I have a recipe for
slime.
It's going to be a really good day...again.
Free.
********
Thanks, I enjoyed a glimpse into your day. I remember those early "hey, I'm
unschooling!" days and they were magical!
As with life, some days are less than magical <g>, but they are always
better than live before unschooling.
Have a great day, again.
Leslie in SC
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Elissa Jill Cleaveland
It's going to be a really good day...again.
*****
Our day is starting out very cool.
When we discovered there was no milk left for cereal, we haded out to our local farm market to pick up two gallons of our favorite milk. They come is glass bottles from an area dairy that uses ecologically responsible practices. Yummy! They were out of everything but skim (yuk, no cream on top), but the farmer gave me a few handfuls of Gardia (sp?) flowers to sprinkle in our morning garden. Those were free!
After stopping at the country store to pick up regular old ucky milk, we hit the yard sale next door. 2 belts, a Pokedex, a Pokemon lunch box, and a new deck of Pokemon trading cards. ($8.00). As we headed home to play with our treasures while watching Spirited Away (On cartoon network right now!!) we saw a woman walking down our road with a GOAT on a leash! It turns out that this goat was hand raised in the house by the woman, after the mother rejected it, and thinks it's a dog. She loves to go on walks. We got some great leads on natural local meats although we are still looking for raw milk.
Now I'm going to spend some time on the food sites and find a spectacular fruit basket to make for a neighbor's wedding tomorrow, in the hopes that it'll wow someone who is looking for a fledgeling caterer.
Tonight we're going to the annual Trebuchet festival in our crunchy granola town to see Watermelons flung hundreds of feet and hear great music.
As ZenMomma says, "Life is Good."
Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
*****
Our day is starting out very cool.
When we discovered there was no milk left for cereal, we haded out to our local farm market to pick up two gallons of our favorite milk. They come is glass bottles from an area dairy that uses ecologically responsible practices. Yummy! They were out of everything but skim (yuk, no cream on top), but the farmer gave me a few handfuls of Gardia (sp?) flowers to sprinkle in our morning garden. Those were free!
After stopping at the country store to pick up regular old ucky milk, we hit the yard sale next door. 2 belts, a Pokedex, a Pokemon lunch box, and a new deck of Pokemon trading cards. ($8.00). As we headed home to play with our treasures while watching Spirited Away (On cartoon network right now!!) we saw a woman walking down our road with a GOAT on a leash! It turns out that this goat was hand raised in the house by the woman, after the mother rejected it, and thinks it's a dog. She loves to go on walks. We got some great leads on natural local meats although we are still looking for raw milk.
Now I'm going to spend some time on the food sites and find a spectacular fruit basket to make for a neighbor's wedding tomorrow, in the hopes that it'll wow someone who is looking for a fledgeling caterer.
Tonight we're going to the annual Trebuchet festival in our crunchy granola town to see Watermelons flung hundreds of feet and hear great music.
As ZenMomma says, "Life is Good."
Elissa Jill
A Kindersher saychel iz oychet a saychel.
"A Child's wisdom is also wisdom." ~Yiddish Proverb
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Jennifer Dion
This is the first summer we haven't had workbook sessions in the morning right after breakfast. That was always our plan.We have never home schooled before let alone unschooled. So to keep my kids brushed up on there educational skills. We did work books everyday. The teachers at there school would recommend them. Because.This is coming from them not me. "In the summer months kids lost 3 months of there education". So when they come back to school, they are already 3 months behind. So I was thinking that. What a waste of time and how boring for kids who are not behind.(The ones who work in the work books in the summer of course) To have to sit through 3 months of review. I am just tried of going by there rules. My daughter missed 21 days of school last year. Just because she didn't want to go. I was fine with that. The school was not. I told them to bad. They couldn't hold her back because she gets all As.The school wasn't happy,oh well. At this point I really could care
less. She has taught herself all her multiplication tables this summer . I was amazed because she had come up to me and said mom test me on these. Right there I thought what school. Well the kids are loving not doing a thing. I must say I think it is harder for me to transition. Because I feel that we are missing something.I sure I will get used to it. I have to walk away from the TV room because it really makes me sick to see my kids just laying in front of the TV.hour after hour. When there is so much to do outside. Our summers don't last very long. So I try to enjoy the summer months as much as possible. My children could care less about the outside. With makes me a little sad.
Jenny in Sunny Michigan
agasma7 <facingeast@...> wrote: I wanted to give an update on our unschooling progress.
My eldest daughter (who finished the year at her school) is
currently on vacataion with family in another state doing all the
wonderful things she loves to do and being spoiled to no end. Can't
wait to get her back though!
My 6 year old has been dating other kids like crazy. We went
camping, to state parks to play, hiking, swimming and kyacking.
(which is more outings than we have taken in a year because of
school-hell at home and running back and forth to the private school-
which I realize was all self-inflicted). I haven't pushed a single
paper in her direction to complete.
She asked me for some papers yesterday because she was tired of
playing Barbies. So she matched words to pictures. I almost screwed
up and told her she got one wrong. I said, I think this word goes to
the other picture. She slapped the table and immediately got
frustrated. I looked again at the paper and said "you know what? I'm
wrong. It looks like that word can fit there too. (it really could-
it just wasn't the answer THEY wanted). I told her there is more
than one way to answer a problem and don't let anybody tell her
there is just one way. Good Job". She beamed and giggled.
She is 6 and isn't a great reader. She has very little interest in
sitting and learning to do it. She isn't even a bit "read to me"
child. Never has been. So instead of stressing about it which I have
done so well in the past, I just decided to give her time. I know
she will be able to read when she needs to.
When we went hiking she pointed out the many animals we saw, gave
her opinions on the scene, decided which paths to take. She was such
a pleasure to spend time with.
Cartoons went off PBS (which, if we are home, I have been letting
them watch until they are done)and a documentary about fire ants
came on. I assumed she was just zoning with my 3 and half year old.
I said, okay, time to turn the tv off and go outside. BOTH of them
said "NOoooo" My 6 year old said "This is interesting" and my 3 and
half year old put his hands on the tv screen and said "I'm watching
it". LOL!
I haven't even given my son (3 1/2 yr old) a single formal reading
lesson or color lesson or shape lesson.
He loves books more than any toy and is constantly saying "read to
me". He brings me magazinges, books, pamphlets, whatever. He points
to letters and guesses at what they are-I tell him the correct
letter, he repeats me, and we continue reading. He wants to know
what numbers are and colors are and shapes are. (popcicles are great
for that-if I cared) He asks. I don't have to put him in "circle
time" or "book hour", all day is learning time.
We are expecting our 5th child and I took my son with me to an
ultrasound. The baby is only 10 wks, so there isn't much to look at.
And for the novice it might be hard to see what it is. As soon as
she located the baby, my son said (we had been telling him there was
a baby in there) "Look mommy-the baby!" I smiled at him and said
yes. He said "The baby is down there in the tummy". When the baby
moved he said "look the baby moved...what's he doing?" When she went
to measure the placenta and we couldn't see the baby anymore, he
said "Mommy, where'd the baby go?" It was classic. I didn't even
know before he said anything that he was watching. I didn't tell him
that we were going to look at the baby either. I just said "going to
the dr."
The best part...after it was over and I was sitting in a chair, he
was so excited about the baby he walked up to me and said "I wanna
see the baby" as he tried to look down my throat! How logical. :)
That's probably how it got in, you know.
My baby who is a year and a half watches everything (he actually
owns the world, you can see it on his face) brings me books just
like his older brother.
Today, we are painting in the front yard, and I have a recipe for
slime.
It's going to be a really good day...again.
Free.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Get on board. You're invited to try the new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
less. She has taught herself all her multiplication tables this summer . I was amazed because she had come up to me and said mom test me on these. Right there I thought what school. Well the kids are loving not doing a thing. I must say I think it is harder for me to transition. Because I feel that we are missing something.I sure I will get used to it. I have to walk away from the TV room because it really makes me sick to see my kids just laying in front of the TV.hour after hour. When there is so much to do outside. Our summers don't last very long. So I try to enjoy the summer months as much as possible. My children could care less about the outside. With makes me a little sad.
Jenny in Sunny Michigan
agasma7 <facingeast@...> wrote: I wanted to give an update on our unschooling progress.
My eldest daughter (who finished the year at her school) is
currently on vacataion with family in another state doing all the
wonderful things she loves to do and being spoiled to no end. Can't
wait to get her back though!
My 6 year old has been dating other kids like crazy. We went
camping, to state parks to play, hiking, swimming and kyacking.
(which is more outings than we have taken in a year because of
school-hell at home and running back and forth to the private school-
which I realize was all self-inflicted). I haven't pushed a single
paper in her direction to complete.
She asked me for some papers yesterday because she was tired of
playing Barbies. So she matched words to pictures. I almost screwed
up and told her she got one wrong. I said, I think this word goes to
the other picture. She slapped the table and immediately got
frustrated. I looked again at the paper and said "you know what? I'm
wrong. It looks like that word can fit there too. (it really could-
it just wasn't the answer THEY wanted). I told her there is more
than one way to answer a problem and don't let anybody tell her
there is just one way. Good Job". She beamed and giggled.
She is 6 and isn't a great reader. She has very little interest in
sitting and learning to do it. She isn't even a bit "read to me"
child. Never has been. So instead of stressing about it which I have
done so well in the past, I just decided to give her time. I know
she will be able to read when she needs to.
When we went hiking she pointed out the many animals we saw, gave
her opinions on the scene, decided which paths to take. She was such
a pleasure to spend time with.
Cartoons went off PBS (which, if we are home, I have been letting
them watch until they are done)and a documentary about fire ants
came on. I assumed she was just zoning with my 3 and half year old.
I said, okay, time to turn the tv off and go outside. BOTH of them
said "NOoooo" My 6 year old said "This is interesting" and my 3 and
half year old put his hands on the tv screen and said "I'm watching
it". LOL!
I haven't even given my son (3 1/2 yr old) a single formal reading
lesson or color lesson or shape lesson.
He loves books more than any toy and is constantly saying "read to
me". He brings me magazinges, books, pamphlets, whatever. He points
to letters and guesses at what they are-I tell him the correct
letter, he repeats me, and we continue reading. He wants to know
what numbers are and colors are and shapes are. (popcicles are great
for that-if I cared) He asks. I don't have to put him in "circle
time" or "book hour", all day is learning time.
We are expecting our 5th child and I took my son with me to an
ultrasound. The baby is only 10 wks, so there isn't much to look at.
And for the novice it might be hard to see what it is. As soon as
she located the baby, my son said (we had been telling him there was
a baby in there) "Look mommy-the baby!" I smiled at him and said
yes. He said "The baby is down there in the tummy". When the baby
moved he said "look the baby moved...what's he doing?" When she went
to measure the placenta and we couldn't see the baby anymore, he
said "Mommy, where'd the baby go?" It was classic. I didn't even
know before he said anything that he was watching. I didn't tell him
that we were going to look at the baby either. I just said "going to
the dr."
The best part...after it was over and I was sitting in a chair, he
was so excited about the baby he walked up to me and said "I wanna
see the baby" as he tried to look down my throat! How logical. :)
That's probably how it got in, you know.
My baby who is a year and a half watches everything (he actually
owns the world, you can see it on his face) brings me books just
like his older brother.
Today, we are painting in the front yard, and I have a recipe for
slime.
It's going to be a really good day...again.
Free.
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Get on board. You're invited to try the new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jul 7, 2006, at 11:38 AM, Jennifer Dion wrote:
what they aren't doing.
Picture yourself being able to spend time doing the things you enjoy:
reading, sewing, driving race cars, talking to friends, having a
latte, whatever it might be. Then picture you doing those things
while your husband hovers in the background waiting for you to spend
time doing things *he* thinks would be a better use of your free
time, eg, learning to cook like a gourmet, learning a new language,
learning how to rebuild carburetors.
It *feels* like school provides everything someone needs to know to
prepare for college or a job. And it's *hard* to force that
information and those skills into someone, especially those who are
resisting! So it doesn't feel like kids should be able to get all
that by living and playing and doing things they find interesting.
What if there were a list of words all 3 yos should know before they
turned 4 and you found out your child didn't know 20% of them the day
before his 4th birthday. Would you think, "Goodness, he has less than
24 hours to catch up or he'll be behind and his vocabulary will be
forever stunted."?
The only reason to think there's a time limit on learning something
is when it's being presented in assembly line fashion as in school.
1) Tests are designed to show what a child has remembered from what
was presented to him. They *don't* show what a child who was doing
something else -- like living life! -- learned instead.
2) Tests are designed to show what a child has remembered for a test.
They *don't* represent understanding. They *don't* show how long a
child will remember it.
If you were learning how to sew, would it be possible to miss
something you needed? Either your project gives you feedback that
you've missed needed, or you don't really need it -- like a zipper
that isn't going in right, or seams that are splitting. And if
something works without it, then it's not really needed.
Schools scare us with the idea that there's this body of knowledge
that we need in order to start "real" learning or doing (like college
or a job). Unschoolers know that you learn what you need as you need it.
I remember I was reading a book to my daughter when she was 11 and we
came upon the word "frequently" (I think it was.) Because it was a
joke and because she wanted to understand the joke, she asked what it
meant. Now at 11 she'd certainly heard frequently used in various
contexts, had been building an idea of what it meant, but hadn't
refined it enough to know exactly. So I told her and she got the joke
and we moved on, with -- as a side effect -- a solid understanding of
"frequently".
That's not so much an illustration of how unschooling works, eg,
reading and they ask about words, but an illustration of how learning
works. As we live life and use various skills and knowledge, we don't
need to thoroughly understand them. We just need to understand well
enough for something to work. And as we use them, we refine them and
get better at them *as a side effect*. The point of reading wasn't to
learn new words. It was just to enjoy a book. She refined her
understanding of "frequently" because she needed it. But it was a
side effect of reading for pleasure.
Your kids will pursue what fascinates them. What fascinates them will
get refined over the years. But whatever they end up doing as an
adult will have its foundation in what they've been pursuing. If they
shrug off animal shows and trips to the zoo, in favor of a monster
truck rally, it's not likely they're going to decide to be a vet and
need to catch up on their zoological classifications ;-)
(And if they do, it's because they've discovered a passion and
they'll *want* the information. Then it will go in effortlessly.)
Everything we need, we'll be using. And because we're learning from
using, we'll learn as effortlessly as we learned English as opposed
to the little learning and lots of effort it took to sit through
Spanish class to end up with a few Spanish words we hadn't picked up
from living. (Like la escritoria. Big fat lot of use that's been ;-)
The Spanish words that have come in handy are the ones I've
encountered over and over *by living life*.)
letting go of controls.
First, it's totally common to glut after something's been restricted.
Second, if they're coming off school, TV can be a way to relax. I
watched a *lot* of TV when I was a kid. A *lot*. Lots of classic
movies. Bowling. Wide World of Sports on weekends. Nova. Lots of
"trash" TV that's now classics: Lost in Space, Batman, Gilligan's
Island ... After my freshman year in college I spent practically the
entire summer watching HBO. I estimated I watched Monty Python and
the Holy Grail 37 times that summer ;-) (Way back when HBO first
started and they played the same few movies over and over and over.)
I wasn't even sure I liked the movie and definitely didn't get the
humor at the beginning of the summer. (Though I did by the end! :-)
Do I regret having "missed" a summer? Not a bit. It was a great
summer :-)
Third, my daughter, who's never had controls on TV, watched a lot of
Cartoon Network between ages 9 and 11. A lot of it was she didn't
want to miss what might come on next. She felt at the mercy of the
station programmers who might throw in a new episode, or switch the
schedule around. Often I would record something so she could watch it
later if we needed to go do something. (Usually she didn't watch the
tapes later but it freed her to have the option which live TV
doesn't.) What would have really helped was having TiVo. You can set
it to record favorite series and it faithfully stores them on its
hard drive :-)
Fourth, make sure they have other activities that *they* enjoy just
as much if not more available. Don't try to entice them away from
the TV, but make sure they have opportunities. Try planning at the
beginning of the week or the day before the things that you find that
you think the kids will enjoy -- not things that would be good for
them! Things they'll enjoy. Run some things by them. Just do other
things. But you have to be careful about the things you plan without
asking! We only get so many "trust mes" before they stop trusting!
whenever you did something you enjoyed he were regretting that you
were doing that and not what he loves? How would it feel? What if
your kids were looking at you frolicking outside and feeling sad that
you weren't capable of getting pleasure from all the great offerings
from TV? Those kind of thoughts can get into the atmosphere and weigh
it down.
It helps us relax a lot to see the pleasure someone is getting out of
something they enjoy rather than to regret that they aren't the same
as we are! Rather than looking at what they aren't doing, looking at
their happiness and know that you've made it possible for them to be
that happy and free.
Joyce
Answers to common unschooling questions:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/
Blog of writing prompts for speculative fiction writers:
http://dragonwritingprompts.blogsome.com/
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> Well the kids are loving not doing a thing.It will help you relax to see the things they *are* doing rather than
what they aren't doing.
Picture yourself being able to spend time doing the things you enjoy:
reading, sewing, driving race cars, talking to friends, having a
latte, whatever it might be. Then picture you doing those things
while your husband hovers in the background waiting for you to spend
time doing things *he* thinks would be a better use of your free
time, eg, learning to cook like a gourmet, learning a new language,
learning how to rebuild carburetors.
> I must say I think it is harder for me to transition.Yes, parents need to deschool too! Often more than the kids.
> Because I feel that we are missing something.That's a hard concept to let go of.
It *feels* like school provides everything someone needs to know to
prepare for college or a job. And it's *hard* to force that
information and those skills into someone, especially those who are
resisting! So it doesn't feel like kids should be able to get all
that by living and playing and doing things they find interesting.
What if there were a list of words all 3 yos should know before they
turned 4 and you found out your child didn't know 20% of them the day
before his 4th birthday. Would you think, "Goodness, he has less than
24 hours to catch up or he'll be behind and his vocabulary will be
forever stunted."?
The only reason to think there's a time limit on learning something
is when it's being presented in assembly line fashion as in school.
1) Tests are designed to show what a child has remembered from what
was presented to him. They *don't* show what a child who was doing
something else -- like living life! -- learned instead.
2) Tests are designed to show what a child has remembered for a test.
They *don't* represent understanding. They *don't* show how long a
child will remember it.
If you were learning how to sew, would it be possible to miss
something you needed? Either your project gives you feedback that
you've missed needed, or you don't really need it -- like a zipper
that isn't going in right, or seams that are splitting. And if
something works without it, then it's not really needed.
Schools scare us with the idea that there's this body of knowledge
that we need in order to start "real" learning or doing (like college
or a job). Unschoolers know that you learn what you need as you need it.
I remember I was reading a book to my daughter when she was 11 and we
came upon the word "frequently" (I think it was.) Because it was a
joke and because she wanted to understand the joke, she asked what it
meant. Now at 11 she'd certainly heard frequently used in various
contexts, had been building an idea of what it meant, but hadn't
refined it enough to know exactly. So I told her and she got the joke
and we moved on, with -- as a side effect -- a solid understanding of
"frequently".
That's not so much an illustration of how unschooling works, eg,
reading and they ask about words, but an illustration of how learning
works. As we live life and use various skills and knowledge, we don't
need to thoroughly understand them. We just need to understand well
enough for something to work. And as we use them, we refine them and
get better at them *as a side effect*. The point of reading wasn't to
learn new words. It was just to enjoy a book. She refined her
understanding of "frequently" because she needed it. But it was a
side effect of reading for pleasure.
Your kids will pursue what fascinates them. What fascinates them will
get refined over the years. But whatever they end up doing as an
adult will have its foundation in what they've been pursuing. If they
shrug off animal shows and trips to the zoo, in favor of a monster
truck rally, it's not likely they're going to decide to be a vet and
need to catch up on their zoological classifications ;-)
(And if they do, it's because they've discovered a passion and
they'll *want* the information. Then it will go in effortlessly.)
Everything we need, we'll be using. And because we're learning from
using, we'll learn as effortlessly as we learned English as opposed
to the little learning and lots of effort it took to sit through
Spanish class to end up with a few Spanish words we hadn't picked up
from living. (Like la escritoria. Big fat lot of use that's been ;-)
The Spanish words that have come in handy are the ones I've
encountered over and over *by living life*.)
> I have to walk away from the TV room because it really makes meThere are a lot of aspects to TV watching, especially right after
> sick to see my kids just laying in front of the TV.hour after hour.
letting go of controls.
First, it's totally common to glut after something's been restricted.
Second, if they're coming off school, TV can be a way to relax. I
watched a *lot* of TV when I was a kid. A *lot*. Lots of classic
movies. Bowling. Wide World of Sports on weekends. Nova. Lots of
"trash" TV that's now classics: Lost in Space, Batman, Gilligan's
Island ... After my freshman year in college I spent practically the
entire summer watching HBO. I estimated I watched Monty Python and
the Holy Grail 37 times that summer ;-) (Way back when HBO first
started and they played the same few movies over and over and over.)
I wasn't even sure I liked the movie and definitely didn't get the
humor at the beginning of the summer. (Though I did by the end! :-)
Do I regret having "missed" a summer? Not a bit. It was a great
summer :-)
Third, my daughter, who's never had controls on TV, watched a lot of
Cartoon Network between ages 9 and 11. A lot of it was she didn't
want to miss what might come on next. She felt at the mercy of the
station programmers who might throw in a new episode, or switch the
schedule around. Often I would record something so she could watch it
later if we needed to go do something. (Usually she didn't watch the
tapes later but it freed her to have the option which live TV
doesn't.) What would have really helped was having TiVo. You can set
it to record favorite series and it faithfully stores them on its
hard drive :-)
Fourth, make sure they have other activities that *they* enjoy just
as much if not more available. Don't try to entice them away from
the TV, but make sure they have opportunities. Try planning at the
beginning of the week or the day before the things that you find that
you think the kids will enjoy -- not things that would be good for
them! Things they'll enjoy. Run some things by them. Just do other
things. But you have to be careful about the things you plan without
asking! We only get so many "trust mes" before they stop trusting!
> When there is so much to do outside. Our summers don't last veryThink about things your husband enjoys but you don't. What if
> long. So I try to enjoy the summer months as much as possible. My
> children could care less about the outside. With makes me a little
> sad.
whenever you did something you enjoyed he were regretting that you
were doing that and not what he loves? How would it feel? What if
your kids were looking at you frolicking outside and feeling sad that
you weren't capable of getting pleasure from all the great offerings
from TV? Those kind of thoughts can get into the atmosphere and weigh
it down.
It helps us relax a lot to see the pleasure someone is getting out of
something they enjoy rather than to regret that they aren't the same
as we are! Rather than looking at what they aren't doing, looking at
their happiness and know that you've made it possible for them to be
that happy and free.
Joyce
Answers to common unschooling questions:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/
Blog of writing prompts for speculative fiction writers:
http://dragonwritingprompts.blogsome.com/
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