real life example
Misty Felner
So here's a real life example of one of the issues I'm struggling with. Any
advice of a kinder gentler way?
Problem - dd wants me to play with her all the time. Once we start playing,
she doesn't want a break for potty, eating, whatever.
Scenario: This morning I was playing with dd. We'd been playing a variety
of things for nearing 2 hrs. We made our way to our new office library and
were playing in there. I saw a box of books that I've been meaning to
shelve for months now. It was only about 2 shelves worth and would take
less than 5 min, so I thought while we're in here playing I'll go ahead and
shelve the books. So while dd was preoccupied gathering markers and
pretending it was food I started shelving the books. A minute later dd
says, "do you like what I drew mom?" she had scribbled on the carpet with
one of the markers. (This is not the first time this has happened with her
drawing on something she's not supposed to to get my attention. Once while
she was coloring at the coffee table I left to go to the bathroom, as I was
coming out she came towards me saying, "come see what I drew mom". She'd
scribbled all over the table.) But, that's another scenario. In this
scenario she wasn't drawing with the markers at the time, but using them as
a prop in her imaginary scene. So anyway, I told her we were going to need
to clean that up and we headed off to get supplies. As we walked I asked
her why she had drawn on the floor, she said, "I didn't have any paper." I
reminded her about the paper in the art cabinet (in the same room) and not
to draw on the carpet. She started cleaning it up and I went back to
putting the books away. (My fatal mistake, I now realize.. I probably should
have stopped then and helped her clean). So while I was finishing up,
instead of cleaning she got more markers and drew even more. A minute later
when I found that she'd drawn more. I became much more agitated. Since we
had just talked about this. I did pick her up and hug her, and told her
that if she wants my attention of for me to play with her that she needs to
tell me with her words not her actions. She spotted a book she was
interested in and asked to read it while we were cleaning up. I told her we
could read it after we cleaned it up. She got upset and started asking to
nurse. Again I told her after we finished cleaning. I also told her that
when we have to take time to clean up writing on the floor that means it
takes longer before I can play with her, read her book, have "nummies", etc.
After it was cleaned as best as it could, we read the story (twice) and
nursed.
So here are my questions. First of all, was that responding respectfully,
or was there different I should have done. Second, how can I get her to not
do destructive things when I can't give her my attention? We starting to
plan on expanding on our family, and I'm concerned about how she's going to
act when I need to give my attention to a baby.
Thanks for your help.
Misty
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
advice of a kinder gentler way?
Problem - dd wants me to play with her all the time. Once we start playing,
she doesn't want a break for potty, eating, whatever.
Scenario: This morning I was playing with dd. We'd been playing a variety
of things for nearing 2 hrs. We made our way to our new office library and
were playing in there. I saw a box of books that I've been meaning to
shelve for months now. It was only about 2 shelves worth and would take
less than 5 min, so I thought while we're in here playing I'll go ahead and
shelve the books. So while dd was preoccupied gathering markers and
pretending it was food I started shelving the books. A minute later dd
says, "do you like what I drew mom?" she had scribbled on the carpet with
one of the markers. (This is not the first time this has happened with her
drawing on something she's not supposed to to get my attention. Once while
she was coloring at the coffee table I left to go to the bathroom, as I was
coming out she came towards me saying, "come see what I drew mom". She'd
scribbled all over the table.) But, that's another scenario. In this
scenario she wasn't drawing with the markers at the time, but using them as
a prop in her imaginary scene. So anyway, I told her we were going to need
to clean that up and we headed off to get supplies. As we walked I asked
her why she had drawn on the floor, she said, "I didn't have any paper." I
reminded her about the paper in the art cabinet (in the same room) and not
to draw on the carpet. She started cleaning it up and I went back to
putting the books away. (My fatal mistake, I now realize.. I probably should
have stopped then and helped her clean). So while I was finishing up,
instead of cleaning she got more markers and drew even more. A minute later
when I found that she'd drawn more. I became much more agitated. Since we
had just talked about this. I did pick her up and hug her, and told her
that if she wants my attention of for me to play with her that she needs to
tell me with her words not her actions. She spotted a book she was
interested in and asked to read it while we were cleaning up. I told her we
could read it after we cleaned it up. She got upset and started asking to
nurse. Again I told her after we finished cleaning. I also told her that
when we have to take time to clean up writing on the floor that means it
takes longer before I can play with her, read her book, have "nummies", etc.
After it was cleaned as best as it could, we read the story (twice) and
nursed.
So here are my questions. First of all, was that responding respectfully,
or was there different I should have done. Second, how can I get her to not
do destructive things when I can't give her my attention? We starting to
plan on expanding on our family, and I'm concerned about how she's going to
act when I need to give my attention to a baby.
Thanks for your help.
Misty
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mooosey3
How old is your dd?
I'm assuming between 2-4 since she is going potty and nursing. At her
age she is much to little to expect to clean up a marker mess IMO. I
think she is acting pretty typical. At this age she wants to be with
you constantly. Cherish it...soon they don't!! All 3 of my kiddos
are off doing their own things right now. I don't think she is at
the maturity of understanding not do color certain places with
markers. To her they are for creating. For fun!! She thinks she is
doing something cool not something bad. I think you needed to be a
little more observant at what she was up to and if you don't want
marker messes don't have them out for her to play with as imaginary
food. Get blocks or something else.
Also washable markers are a great investment! :)
Heather
I'm assuming between 2-4 since she is going potty and nursing. At her
age she is much to little to expect to clean up a marker mess IMO. I
think she is acting pretty typical. At this age she wants to be with
you constantly. Cherish it...soon they don't!! All 3 of my kiddos
are off doing their own things right now. I don't think she is at
the maturity of understanding not do color certain places with
markers. To her they are for creating. For fun!! She thinks she is
doing something cool not something bad. I think you needed to be a
little more observant at what she was up to and if you don't want
marker messes don't have them out for her to play with as imaginary
food. Get blocks or something else.
Also washable markers are a great investment! :)
Heather
Vijay Owens
Hi Misty. I hear your frustration. Your daughter is 2.5, right? I think
maybe you're expecting a little too much from her in terms of 1)
understanding 2) compliance and 3) self-control
I my experience, most two year olds don't really "get" that it's not
okay to draw on stuff other than paper. Maybe your DD really does know,
but the appeal in the moment of drawing on the carpet was too strong to
deter her. So to attribute to her actions that she did it "to get your
attention" may not in fact be the case.
I'd supervise when a kid this age is using markers, or make sure she is
in a place where it doesn't matter if she goes off the paper. Washable
markers are great. They really do wash out of stuff I've found.
Two year olds aren't good at being patient and waiting until after a
task is completed to start something else. Delayed gratification just
isn't their cup of tea. If they want to play with you, they want it
now. If they want to nurse they want it now. You wanted to finish what
you were doing without interruption, but with a kid this age -- and
even older -- that's not always possible.
Try to really *be* with her when she's drawing or playing and save the
other organizational stuff for when she's napping. There are times when
she will play contentedly by herself too. You'll know the difference in
her moods. This just wasn't one of those moments. She wanted to engage
you, yes, but that's probably not why she drew on the carpet. KWIM? She
was probably just proud of her drawing and wanted to share it with you.
I probably would have not left my dd alone with the markers at that
age, but if she did draw on something -- and she has -- I'd have said
neutrally, "I'm going to get a damp rag to clean that up." and just
started cleaning it. If she wanted to help me clean, cool, if not,
that's okay too. I have also said something like, "Let's not draw on
the bannister from now on. Let's just draw on paper." No shaming, no
yelling, no long lecture. (Not that you did that.)
Sometimes two year olds can be pretty sophisticated verbally, and this
leads us to think that they should "know better" when they engage in
certain activities that aren't to our liking. But I've found that it
takes a lot of patient repetition for the concepts to really sink in.
And I don't mean lecturing, that would never fly with my DD, I mean, "I
see you're getting out a box of markers, let me get you some paper.
Let's make a card for daddy!" And just make sure that she sees over and
over that markers and paper go together like pb and j.
-Vijay
maybe you're expecting a little too much from her in terms of 1)
understanding 2) compliance and 3) self-control
I my experience, most two year olds don't really "get" that it's not
okay to draw on stuff other than paper. Maybe your DD really does know,
but the appeal in the moment of drawing on the carpet was too strong to
deter her. So to attribute to her actions that she did it "to get your
attention" may not in fact be the case.
I'd supervise when a kid this age is using markers, or make sure she is
in a place where it doesn't matter if she goes off the paper. Washable
markers are great. They really do wash out of stuff I've found.
Two year olds aren't good at being patient and waiting until after a
task is completed to start something else. Delayed gratification just
isn't their cup of tea. If they want to play with you, they want it
now. If they want to nurse they want it now. You wanted to finish what
you were doing without interruption, but with a kid this age -- and
even older -- that's not always possible.
Try to really *be* with her when she's drawing or playing and save the
other organizational stuff for when she's napping. There are times when
she will play contentedly by herself too. You'll know the difference in
her moods. This just wasn't one of those moments. She wanted to engage
you, yes, but that's probably not why she drew on the carpet. KWIM? She
was probably just proud of her drawing and wanted to share it with you.
I probably would have not left my dd alone with the markers at that
age, but if she did draw on something -- and she has -- I'd have said
neutrally, "I'm going to get a damp rag to clean that up." and just
started cleaning it. If she wanted to help me clean, cool, if not,
that's okay too. I have also said something like, "Let's not draw on
the bannister from now on. Let's just draw on paper." No shaming, no
yelling, no long lecture. (Not that you did that.)
Sometimes two year olds can be pretty sophisticated verbally, and this
leads us to think that they should "know better" when they engage in
certain activities that aren't to our liking. But I've found that it
takes a lot of patient repetition for the concepts to really sink in.
And I don't mean lecturing, that would never fly with my DD, I mean, "I
see you're getting out a box of markers, let me get you some paper.
Let's make a card for daddy!" And just make sure that she sees over and
over that markers and paper go together like pb and j.
-Vijay
On Jul 3, 2006, at 3:34 PM, Misty Felner wrote:
> Scenario: This morning I was playing with dd. We'd been playing a
> variety
> of things for nearing 2 hrs. We made our way to our new office
> library and
> were playing in there. I saw a box of books that I've been meaning to
> shelve for months now. It was only about 2 shelves worth and would
> take
> less than 5 min, so I thought while we're in here playing I'll go
> ahead and
> shelve the books. So while dd was preoccupied gathering markers and
> pretending it was food I started shelving the books. A minute later dd
> says, "do you like what I drew mom?" she had scribbled on the carpet
> with
> one of the markers. This is not the first time this has happened with
> her
> drawing on something she's not supposed to to get my attention.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vijay Owens
Wow Heather, I should have just said "ditto" to your response instead
of crafting my own. lol
-Vijay
of crafting my own. lol
-Vijay
On Jul 3, 2006, at 3:48 PM, mooosey3 wrote:
> How old is your dd?
>
> I'm assuming between 2-4 since she is going potty and nursing. At her
> age she is much to little to expect to clean up a marker mess IMO. I
> think she is acting pretty typical. At this age she wants to be with
> you constantly. Cherish it...soon they don't!! All 3 of my kiddos
> are off doing their own things right now. I don't think she is at
> the maturity of understanding not do color certain places with
> markers. To her they are for creating. For fun!! She thinks she is
> doing something cool not something bad. I think you needed to be a
> little more observant at what she was up to and if you don't want
> marker messes don't have them out for her to play with as imaginary
> food. Get blocks or something else.
>
> Also washable markers are a great investment! :)
>
> Heather
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lesa ODaniel
Hi, Misty,
I'm not one of the veterans on this list, but I'll throw in my 2 cents since
I have been "letting go" of these things lately.
I think looking at the environment might be better than looking at your
daughter's behavior at this age. My 2-ish year old son loves drawing on all
things except paper so I try to have lots of paper around. He would never go
into a cabinet for paper if he wanted to draw, though, so I try to have lots
of little stacks of paper in his room (he has a little table with
markers/crayons/paper) and I always seem to have scraps of paper around the
house, too (usually blank envelopes from junk mail - reduce, reuse, recycle,
ya know?).
I also love washable markers and crayons. In fact, they are the only ones I
buy. Even when he draws on paper, there are often accidents where he runs
off the paper and onto the floors or table, or accidentally hits the wall
with one while he's walking around, etc.
Yes, my son also gets frustrated with me at certain times if I try to do
something with house work or my business while we're playing. That's often a
signal to me to keep playing with him and wait on the other stuff. Usually
if I stop and think about it, the thing I'm choosing to work on is something
that can wait. There are also times when I can get away with a few minutes
here and there of short spurts of work. There are also times when I know I
cannot get any work done. I'm confident these times will pass.
Lesa O'Daniel, AAHCC
Instructor, Bradley Method� of Natural Childbirth
323-541-5515
http://www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=O123&Count=N
Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today - it's FREE!
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I'm not one of the veterans on this list, but I'll throw in my 2 cents since
I have been "letting go" of these things lately.
I think looking at the environment might be better than looking at your
daughter's behavior at this age. My 2-ish year old son loves drawing on all
things except paper so I try to have lots of paper around. He would never go
into a cabinet for paper if he wanted to draw, though, so I try to have lots
of little stacks of paper in his room (he has a little table with
markers/crayons/paper) and I always seem to have scraps of paper around the
house, too (usually blank envelopes from junk mail - reduce, reuse, recycle,
ya know?).
I also love washable markers and crayons. In fact, they are the only ones I
buy. Even when he draws on paper, there are often accidents where he runs
off the paper and onto the floors or table, or accidentally hits the wall
with one while he's walking around, etc.
Yes, my son also gets frustrated with me at certain times if I try to do
something with house work or my business while we're playing. That's often a
signal to me to keep playing with him and wait on the other stuff. Usually
if I stop and think about it, the thing I'm choosing to work on is something
that can wait. There are also times when I can get away with a few minutes
here and there of short spurts of work. There are also times when I know I
cannot get any work done. I'm confident these times will pass.
Lesa O'Daniel, AAHCC
Instructor, Bradley Method� of Natural Childbirth
323-541-5515
http://www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=O123&Count=N
>From: "Misty Felner" <misty@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: <[email protected]>
>Subject: [unschoolingbasics] real life example
>Date: Mon, 3 Jul 2006 14:34:56 -0500
>
>So here's a real life example of one of the issues I'm struggling with.
>Any
>advice of a kinder gentler way?
>
>
>
>Problem - dd wants me to play with her all the time. Once we start
>playing,
>she doesn't want a break for potty, eating, whatever.
>
>
>
>Scenario: This morning I was playing with dd. We'd been playing a variety
>of things for nearing 2 hrs. We made our way to our new office library and
>were playing in there. I saw a box of books that I've been meaning to
>shelve for months now. It was only about 2 shelves worth and would take
>less than 5 min, so I thought while we're in here playing I'll go ahead and
>shelve the books. So while dd was preoccupied gathering markers and
>pretending it was food I started shelving the books. A minute later dd
>says, "do you like what I drew mom?" she had scribbled on the carpet with
>one of the markers. (This is not the first time this has happened with her
>drawing on something she's not supposed to to get my attention. Once while
>she was coloring at the coffee table I left to go to the bathroom, as I was
>coming out she came towards me saying, "come see what I drew mom". She'd
>scribbled all over the table.) But, that's another scenario. In this
>scenario she wasn't drawing with the markers at the time, but using them as
>a prop in her imaginary scene. So anyway, I told her we were going to need
>to clean that up and we headed off to get supplies. As we walked I asked
>her why she had drawn on the floor, she said, "I didn't have any paper." I
>reminded her about the paper in the art cabinet (in the same room) and not
>to draw on the carpet. She started cleaning it up and I went back to
>putting the books away. (My fatal mistake, I now realize.. I probably
>should
>have stopped then and helped her clean). So while I was finishing up,
>instead of cleaning she got more markers and drew even more. A minute
>later
>when I found that she'd drawn more. I became much more agitated. Since we
>had just talked about this. I did pick her up and hug her, and told her
>that if she wants my attention of for me to play with her that she needs to
>tell me with her words not her actions. She spotted a book she was
>interested in and asked to read it while we were cleaning up. I told her
>we
>could read it after we cleaned it up. She got upset and started asking to
>nurse. Again I told her after we finished cleaning. I also told her that
>when we have to take time to clean up writing on the floor that means it
>takes longer before I can play with her, read her book, have "nummies",
>etc.
>After it was cleaned as best as it could, we read the story (twice) and
>nursed.
>
>
>
>So here are my questions. First of all, was that responding respectfully,
>or was there different I should have done. Second, how can I get her to
>not
>do destructive things when I can't give her my attention? We starting to
>plan on expanding on our family, and I'm concerned about how she's going to
>act when I need to give my attention to a baby.
>
>
>
>Thanks for your help.
>
>Misty
>
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
>
>
>Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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Pamela Sorooshian
You don't sound like much of a multi-tasker, Misty.
Sounds like you had your FULL attention on the books you were
shelving and completely lost touch with what she was doing, right?
Even if just for a couple of minutes?
Some people could shelve books and watch their little one at the same
time - but it seems like the lesson for you to learn in this scenario
is that you aren't able to do things like that.
Know thyself!
-pam
Sounds like you had your FULL attention on the books you were
shelving and completely lost touch with what she was doing, right?
Even if just for a couple of minutes?
Some people could shelve books and watch their little one at the same
time - but it seems like the lesson for you to learn in this scenario
is that you aren't able to do things like that.
Know thyself!
-pam
On Jul 3, 2006, at 12:34 PM, Misty Felner wrote:
> She started cleaning it up and I went back to
> putting the books away. (My fatal mistake, I now realize.. I
> probably should
> have stopped then and helped her clean). So while I was finishing up,
> instead of cleaning she got more markers and drew even more.
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
mooosey3
>instead
> Wow Heather, I should have just said "ditto" to your response
> of crafting my own. lolToo funny...
I had kids insisting to head to the beach so I my response was a
quickie...Your response was much better! ;)
Heather
Mara
Hi everyone,
here is something I have been struggling with for the
last couple of weeks. I had decided that I would try
letting my 4 y.o. son watch anything he wanted on TV
at any time. The only thing that works on that TV is
video or DVD, no regular channels, but we have plenty
of the above. So, my 4 y.o. has been doing pretty well
with the self-regulating. He watches on average about
1-2 videos a day. Many days he would not think of
watching because he would rather do other stuff like
play or read - Now in comes his little brother, 22
months old. A few months ago I had put the TV away for
a bit so that he would not watch any, then pull out
the TV for the oder one when the younger one was
napping or had gone to bed. I had done that since the
movies that the 4 y.o. wanted to watch would stress
out my little one too much.
Now that the TV is in the open again, the little one
wants to watch it almost all the time. He can easily
go from one movie to another without anything else
that would interest him. Before he would like to sit
down with a book or pretend-cook or help me in the
kitchen or with the laundry - now the only thing that
keeps him away from the TV is going outside and
sometimes painting. Now that it is summer I try to
take him out as much as possible, but it seems to me
he still watches too much for his age. I remember
reading that kids under 2 should not watch any. So
now, how do I respect his wishes of really wanting to
watch badly, his health, and than the wished of his
brother who can't concetrate on playing if the TV is
on all the time. He does not like to watch little kid
movies, he loves The Lion King and Babar and
occasionally Bob the Builder. There are some bad
scenes in those movies and I am not sure how he
processes those things. I watch him watching the TV,
and he is totally glued to it, occasionally commenting
on his favorite scenes to me. When things get a bit
scary, sometimes I forward it ( if it is a video it
upsets him) or he wants to nurse while still
watching.
I do tell him that sometimes he can not watch because
his brother wants to play and he can get very upset.
Before his big brother gets up he could easily watch
two videos in a row without barely moving. He usually
is a child on the go - very active and fearless and
happy when he can move. The only thing he sits still
for is TV. But when he does not get enough movement I
believe it does not do him good. Sometimes after
watching I have to take him straight outside or he
gets violent, starts hitting his brother with things
or destroying his play. then I have the problem of one
wanting to be inside playing with me and one needing
to be outside. Neither one can be left alone yet.
It is sweet sometimes seeing them cuddled close
together watching a movie, but I am just not
comfortable with my little one watching so much. Has
anyone else had that kind of a problem or any ideas to
it?
One thing I plan to do is get some sort of TV cabinet
where I can close the doors but not sure that would do
anything.
I do try to make the other toys very visible and
exciting, but it just does not compare.
thanks for any suggestions,
Mara
__________________________________________________
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here is something I have been struggling with for the
last couple of weeks. I had decided that I would try
letting my 4 y.o. son watch anything he wanted on TV
at any time. The only thing that works on that TV is
video or DVD, no regular channels, but we have plenty
of the above. So, my 4 y.o. has been doing pretty well
with the self-regulating. He watches on average about
1-2 videos a day. Many days he would not think of
watching because he would rather do other stuff like
play or read - Now in comes his little brother, 22
months old. A few months ago I had put the TV away for
a bit so that he would not watch any, then pull out
the TV for the oder one when the younger one was
napping or had gone to bed. I had done that since the
movies that the 4 y.o. wanted to watch would stress
out my little one too much.
Now that the TV is in the open again, the little one
wants to watch it almost all the time. He can easily
go from one movie to another without anything else
that would interest him. Before he would like to sit
down with a book or pretend-cook or help me in the
kitchen or with the laundry - now the only thing that
keeps him away from the TV is going outside and
sometimes painting. Now that it is summer I try to
take him out as much as possible, but it seems to me
he still watches too much for his age. I remember
reading that kids under 2 should not watch any. So
now, how do I respect his wishes of really wanting to
watch badly, his health, and than the wished of his
brother who can't concetrate on playing if the TV is
on all the time. He does not like to watch little kid
movies, he loves The Lion King and Babar and
occasionally Bob the Builder. There are some bad
scenes in those movies and I am not sure how he
processes those things. I watch him watching the TV,
and he is totally glued to it, occasionally commenting
on his favorite scenes to me. When things get a bit
scary, sometimes I forward it ( if it is a video it
upsets him) or he wants to nurse while still
watching.
I do tell him that sometimes he can not watch because
his brother wants to play and he can get very upset.
Before his big brother gets up he could easily watch
two videos in a row without barely moving. He usually
is a child on the go - very active and fearless and
happy when he can move. The only thing he sits still
for is TV. But when he does not get enough movement I
believe it does not do him good. Sometimes after
watching I have to take him straight outside or he
gets violent, starts hitting his brother with things
or destroying his play. then I have the problem of one
wanting to be inside playing with me and one needing
to be outside. Neither one can be left alone yet.
It is sweet sometimes seeing them cuddled close
together watching a movie, but I am just not
comfortable with my little one watching so much. Has
anyone else had that kind of a problem or any ideas to
it?
One thing I plan to do is get some sort of TV cabinet
where I can close the doors but not sure that would do
anything.
I do try to make the other toys very visible and
exciting, but it just does not compare.
thanks for any suggestions,
Mara
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Vijay Owens
It has only been a few weeks since you have released controls, right?
Give it some time and it is very likely that soon TV will not carry any
more weight than any other activity. Even if your kids end up enjoying
watching several hours of TV a day, what is wrong with that?
I sometimes long for the days when my now 3 y.o. would be "glued" to a
video because it gave me a moment of peace and quiet just to think or
to get something done! Now she just wants to talk to me and do stuff
with me all day and watches videos here and there, but she can take
them or leave them.
She will ask to watch something, and I'll set her up with a snack and a
comfy chair and I'll go work on the computer, and 10 minutes later
she's at my side wanting to play outside, or read stories, or she's
just standing there telling me the play-by-play of what just happened
on her show. Then sometimes when the show changes, like say Little Bear
is coming on, she'll shriek "Little Bear! I want to go PLAY with him!"
And dashes back to the TV.
She sees TV as an endlessly interesting rotation of friends that come
to play with her and I think that's pretty cool. She's not "zoned out"
she's absorbing plot, characters, humor, drama, and all kinds of other
information, but most important she's happy and entertained just as she
is happy and entertained when playing in the sink or using play-doh or
whatever.
:-)
-Vijay
Give it some time and it is very likely that soon TV will not carry any
more weight than any other activity. Even if your kids end up enjoying
watching several hours of TV a day, what is wrong with that?
I sometimes long for the days when my now 3 y.o. would be "glued" to a
video because it gave me a moment of peace and quiet just to think or
to get something done! Now she just wants to talk to me and do stuff
with me all day and watches videos here and there, but she can take
them or leave them.
She will ask to watch something, and I'll set her up with a snack and a
comfy chair and I'll go work on the computer, and 10 minutes later
she's at my side wanting to play outside, or read stories, or she's
just standing there telling me the play-by-play of what just happened
on her show. Then sometimes when the show changes, like say Little Bear
is coming on, she'll shriek "Little Bear! I want to go PLAY with him!"
And dashes back to the TV.
She sees TV as an endlessly interesting rotation of friends that come
to play with her and I think that's pretty cool. She's not "zoned out"
she's absorbing plot, characters, humor, drama, and all kinds of other
information, but most important she's happy and entertained just as she
is happy and entertained when playing in the sink or using play-doh or
whatever.
:-)
-Vijay
Melissa
ROTFL....that's funny Vijay, and I'm glad to see someone else post
it! There are days when I've had four little voices chattering at me
for six hours, as well as Breanna running around doing her verbal
stims (running up and down the hallway "Toilet paper..toilet
paper...toilet paper...rats!" is her favorite one now) and then my
eleven yo pontificating about his latest interest. I'm usually
trapped because Avari needs me a lot right now, nursing and needing
feedback. I can close my eyes and see a little cartoon version of me
running in circles, screaming!
Instead we usually pack up, go somewhere. Do anything where I can
lesson the number of people chattering to those who are really
needing me and not just doing it because it's the 'in' thing ;-) And
sometimes we just head to the library, pick up our maximum number of
movies and try a movie party. If things are going really poorly, we
will head to the movie store, but in general the library has some
great movies.
I totally agree, I've never seen a kid zoned. i've seen other adults
label them as zoned, but when I look at them, really LOOK at them, I
see the kids really picking up a lot of things. Even shows that I
used to disapprove of, we really talk about and learn from.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
it! There are days when I've had four little voices chattering at me
for six hours, as well as Breanna running around doing her verbal
stims (running up and down the hallway "Toilet paper..toilet
paper...toilet paper...rats!" is her favorite one now) and then my
eleven yo pontificating about his latest interest. I'm usually
trapped because Avari needs me a lot right now, nursing and needing
feedback. I can close my eyes and see a little cartoon version of me
running in circles, screaming!
Instead we usually pack up, go somewhere. Do anything where I can
lesson the number of people chattering to those who are really
needing me and not just doing it because it's the 'in' thing ;-) And
sometimes we just head to the library, pick up our maximum number of
movies and try a movie party. If things are going really poorly, we
will head to the movie store, but in general the library has some
great movies.
I totally agree, I've never seen a kid zoned. i've seen other adults
label them as zoned, but when I look at them, really LOOK at them, I
see the kids really picking up a lot of things. Even shows that I
used to disapprove of, we really talk about and learn from.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jul 4, 2006, at 8:14 AM, Vijay Owens wrote:
> It has only been a few weeks since you have released controls, right?
> Give it some time and it is very likely that soon TV will not carry
> any
> more weight than any other activity. Even if your kids end up enjoying
> watching several hours of TV a day, what is wrong with that?
>
> I sometimes long for the days when my now 3 y.o. would be "glued" to a
> video because it gave me a moment of peace and quiet just to think or
> to get something done! Now she just wants to talk to me and do stuff
> with me all day and watches videos here and there, but she can take
> them or leave them.
>
> She will ask to watch something, and I'll set her up with a snack
> and a
> comfy chair and I'll go work on the computer, and 10 minutes later
> she's at my side wanting to play outside, or read stories, or she's
> just standing there telling me the play-by-play of what just happened
> on her show. Then sometimes when the show changes, like say Little
> Bear
> is coming on, she'll shriek "Little Bear! I want to go PLAY with him!"
> And dashes back to the TV.
>
> She sees TV as an endlessly interesting rotation of friends that come
> to play with her and I think that's pretty cool. She's not "zoned out"
> she's absorbing plot, characters, humor, drama, and all kinds of other
> information, but most important she's happy and entertained just as
> she
> is happy and entertained when playing in the sink or using play-doh or
> whatever.
>
> :-)
>
> -Vijay
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vijay Owens
Isn't that funny? They pick something and literally run with it! Our
kitchen has two doorways that lead to the living room and a small
hallway off the living room, so Charlotte (3) loves to run around and
around that circuit sing-songing, "Ring around, what's that sound, ring
around, what's that sound," over and over. I have no idea where she
heard this. She sings it faster and faster until I'm the only one who
can understand what she is saying (if someone comes in for the fast
part having missed the earlier slower repetitions).
It makes me laugh because she's "supposed" to be in the kitchen
watching a show. All of these studies correlating TV and obesity . . .
well I don't think it's a danger in this house, lol. If she's not
jumping on the couch watching Madagascar (as a former New Yorker, this
movie cracks me up: "Look! The star is out! No wait, it's just a
helicopter.") she's jumping on her bed watching Pirate Dora or just
plain running around and around and around.
She used to just sit and watch Baby Einstein videos, but those days are
long gone.
I must admit, before I had kids I thought "no tv, only healthy foods,
no plastic toys, etc." was the way to go. Now thanks to these
unschooling groups I see that closing the door on all of those things
is just closing the door on more joy that my family could experience.
Now I am a "yes" mom and proud of it. So we enjoy guilt-free TV,
frosted flakes, and all kinds of not only plastic but even (gasp)
battery operated toys and we love every minute of it.
Oh yeah, and we're all learning lots of cool stuff too.
-Vijay
kitchen has two doorways that lead to the living room and a small
hallway off the living room, so Charlotte (3) loves to run around and
around that circuit sing-songing, "Ring around, what's that sound, ring
around, what's that sound," over and over. I have no idea where she
heard this. She sings it faster and faster until I'm the only one who
can understand what she is saying (if someone comes in for the fast
part having missed the earlier slower repetitions).
It makes me laugh because she's "supposed" to be in the kitchen
watching a show. All of these studies correlating TV and obesity . . .
well I don't think it's a danger in this house, lol. If she's not
jumping on the couch watching Madagascar (as a former New Yorker, this
movie cracks me up: "Look! The star is out! No wait, it's just a
helicopter.") she's jumping on her bed watching Pirate Dora or just
plain running around and around and around.
She used to just sit and watch Baby Einstein videos, but those days are
long gone.
I must admit, before I had kids I thought "no tv, only healthy foods,
no plastic toys, etc." was the way to go. Now thanks to these
unschooling groups I see that closing the door on all of those things
is just closing the door on more joy that my family could experience.
Now I am a "yes" mom and proud of it. So we enjoy guilt-free TV,
frosted flakes, and all kinds of not only plastic but even (gasp)
battery operated toys and we love every minute of it.
Oh yeah, and we're all learning lots of cool stuff too.
-Vijay
On Jul 4, 2006, at 11:45 AM, Melissa wrote:
> ROTFL....that's funny Vijay, and I'm glad to see someone else post
> it! There are days when I've had four little voices chattering at me
> for six hours, as well as Breanna running around doing her verbal
> stims (running up and down the hallway "Toilet paper..toilet
> paper...toilet paper...rats!" is her favorite one now)
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rebecca DeLong
I was hoping that someone may have some tips, ideas...anything, that could help me.
There is a fairly large homeschholing community in San Diego, and a small relaxed/unschooling subset. There is a yahoo group for San Diego unschoolers but its quiet, maybe 1-2 posts a month, sometimes a few more.
I have really been feeling the need for community and conections with other unschoolers. (Unfortunatly the money that we had set aside for the confrence has had to go to fixing Jasons foot, so...maybe next year)
I am trying of figure out a way to get things moving/flowing a bit better with the unschoolers, I'm hoping that with the summer the relaxed homeschoolers will be willing to get together as well....maybe some converts?!
Any ideas, suggestions?
TIA
~Rebecca
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
3boysleadtheway@...
---------------------------------
Do you Yahoo!?
Next-gen email? Have it all with the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
There is a fairly large homeschholing community in San Diego, and a small relaxed/unschooling subset. There is a yahoo group for San Diego unschoolers but its quiet, maybe 1-2 posts a month, sometimes a few more.
I have really been feeling the need for community and conections with other unschoolers. (Unfortunatly the money that we had set aside for the confrence has had to go to fixing Jasons foot, so...maybe next year)
I am trying of figure out a way to get things moving/flowing a bit better with the unschoolers, I'm hoping that with the summer the relaxed homeschoolers will be willing to get together as well....maybe some converts?!
Any ideas, suggestions?
TIA
~Rebecca
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
3boysleadtheway@...
---------------------------------
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Next-gen email? Have it all with the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Vijay Owens
Well I hate to sound discouraging, but as far as converts, people
aren't usually ready for these ideas until they are, KWIM? In other
words, they may be perfectly content with traditional homeschooling. Or
even if they're struggling, they may not yet be actively seeking an
alternative.
It might be best to wait for an opportunity that seems more ripe for
the picking rather than seek to convert people. In other words a local
mom that I've been working with on baby slings (she has twins) knows
that I am an unschooler. Her sister homeschools 4 kids and has a new
baby and is getting tired of beating her head against a wall trying to
get her kids to do math and read more. She's actively asking me for
information about unschooling. So I'm trying to just drop little
tidbits and not overwhelm her, and not judge her and so on.
There's a local homeschooling group that is mostly unschoolers and
we've been reaching out to all kids when we make plans for a summer get
together, schooled, homeschooled, unschooled, etc. Whatever! Sometimes
the kids are the best advocates for this way of life. I invited this
"unschooling curious" mom to join us at our next get-together and she
asked if they are all recreational or if there are any academic
activities. I was pretty incredulous, that she would actively seek out
academic activities for her kids over the summer, but I kept it light,
smiled, and said, "Well I guess the way we figure it is the schooled
kids are off for the summer, so why not the homeschooled kids too? Plus
we think learning happens all the time anyway."
Believe me I could have either gone off, or I could have gone on and on
but I knew that either of those approaches might scare her away or
offend her or bore her. I want her to trust me and have an open mind. I
want these little tidbits to percolate in her mind until they find a
place to take root and sprout.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is a) pick your opportunities
carefully to plug unschooling b) try not to take too overzealous of an
approach (not saying *you* would, but sometimes we get passionate about
something and get a little heated when discussing it) and c) just keep
trying to find people you enjoy spending time with whether they are
unschooled, homeschooled, or schooled.
Lead by example! Open the door wide and let everyone see what a
relaxed, joyful life it is.
:-)
-Vijay
aren't usually ready for these ideas until they are, KWIM? In other
words, they may be perfectly content with traditional homeschooling. Or
even if they're struggling, they may not yet be actively seeking an
alternative.
It might be best to wait for an opportunity that seems more ripe for
the picking rather than seek to convert people. In other words a local
mom that I've been working with on baby slings (she has twins) knows
that I am an unschooler. Her sister homeschools 4 kids and has a new
baby and is getting tired of beating her head against a wall trying to
get her kids to do math and read more. She's actively asking me for
information about unschooling. So I'm trying to just drop little
tidbits and not overwhelm her, and not judge her and so on.
There's a local homeschooling group that is mostly unschoolers and
we've been reaching out to all kids when we make plans for a summer get
together, schooled, homeschooled, unschooled, etc. Whatever! Sometimes
the kids are the best advocates for this way of life. I invited this
"unschooling curious" mom to join us at our next get-together and she
asked if they are all recreational or if there are any academic
activities. I was pretty incredulous, that she would actively seek out
academic activities for her kids over the summer, but I kept it light,
smiled, and said, "Well I guess the way we figure it is the schooled
kids are off for the summer, so why not the homeschooled kids too? Plus
we think learning happens all the time anyway."
Believe me I could have either gone off, or I could have gone on and on
but I knew that either of those approaches might scare her away or
offend her or bore her. I want her to trust me and have an open mind. I
want these little tidbits to percolate in her mind until they find a
place to take root and sprout.
So I guess what I'm trying to say is a) pick your opportunities
carefully to plug unschooling b) try not to take too overzealous of an
approach (not saying *you* would, but sometimes we get passionate about
something and get a little heated when discussing it) and c) just keep
trying to find people you enjoy spending time with whether they are
unschooled, homeschooled, or schooled.
Lead by example! Open the door wide and let everyone see what a
relaxed, joyful life it is.
:-)
-Vijay
On Jul 4, 2006, at 1:12 PM, Rebecca DeLong wrote:
>
>
> I was hoping that someone may have some tips, ideas...anything, that
> could help me.
>
> There is a fairly large homeschholing community in San Diego, and a
> small relaxed/unschooling subset. There is a yahoo group for San Diego
> unschoolers but its quiet, maybe 1-2 posts a month, sometimes a few
> more.
>
> I have really been feeling the need for community and conections with
> other unschoolers. (Unfortunatly the money that we had set aside for
> the confrence has had to go to fixing Jasons foot, so...maybe next
> year)
>
> I am trying of figure out a way to get things moving/flowing a bit
> better with the unschoolers, I'm hoping that with the summer the
> relaxed homeschoolers will be willing to get together as well....maybe
> some converts?!
>
> Any ideas, suggestions?
>
> TIA
> ~Rebecca
>
> Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will
> require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking
> but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
>
> 3boysleadtheway@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Next-gen email? Have it all with the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ren Allen
~I must admit, before I had kids I thought "no tv, only healthy foods,
no plastic toys, etc." was the way to go. ~
ME TOO!
My poor children were destined for a life of crunchiness with no say
in the matter. Good thing I discovered that I didn't need to EXHAUST
myself trying to control all of that. phew.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
no plastic toys, etc." was the way to go. ~
ME TOO!
My poor children were destined for a life of crunchiness with no say
in the matter. Good thing I discovered that I didn't need to EXHAUST
myself trying to control all of that. phew.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Kiersten Pasciak
--- In [email protected], Vijay Owens
<vijayowens@...> wrote:
This made me think of my son playing video games...
We recently went to a family reunion weekend with my dad's family.
When we arrived, some of my cousins (5 yo and 7 yo) were sitting and
playing video games and the adults were all making those comments
about kids just sitting around and why don't kids play outside
anymore, etc. Jacob decided to play too and I waited for the
reaction. When he plays, he acts like he is IN the game- he jumps
around on one foot, leaps in the air, "steers" the controller around
while pushing buttons, and is quite the ball of energy. Everyone
thought it was highly amusing (and stopped commenting).
He spent tons of time outside that weekend as well. It was cool to
see him able to step back and do whatever he felt like. Last summer
was our summer of him wanting to be indoors and playing all day
while Emma wanted to be outside all day. (Luckily we have french
doors off the family room so I could accomodate both kids at the
same time and be able to see them)
With regards to the original post, I agree with what others have
posted! Trust them. They will find the balance that works for them.
Offer lots of cool other options.
Oh, one more comment, the movies and videos WILL get boring over
time. TV does too. Mine are pretty much past the stage of wanting
repeats. Now I hear "Isn't there anything new?"
Kiersten
mom to Jacob 4 1/2 and Emma 3
<vijayowens@...> wrote:
> It makes me laugh because she's "supposed" to be in the kitchenobesity . . .
> watching a show. All of these studies correlating TV and
> well I don't think it's a danger in this house, lol. If she's notthis
> jumping on the couch watching Madagascar (as a former New Yorker,
> movie cracks me up: "Look! The star is out! No wait, it's just ajust
> helicopter.") she's jumping on her bed watching Pirate Dora or
> plain running around and around and around.-----------------------------
This made me think of my son playing video games...
We recently went to a family reunion weekend with my dad's family.
When we arrived, some of my cousins (5 yo and 7 yo) were sitting and
playing video games and the adults were all making those comments
about kids just sitting around and why don't kids play outside
anymore, etc. Jacob decided to play too and I waited for the
reaction. When he plays, he acts like he is IN the game- he jumps
around on one foot, leaps in the air, "steers" the controller around
while pushing buttons, and is quite the ball of energy. Everyone
thought it was highly amusing (and stopped commenting).
He spent tons of time outside that weekend as well. It was cool to
see him able to step back and do whatever he felt like. Last summer
was our summer of him wanting to be indoors and playing all day
while Emma wanted to be outside all day. (Luckily we have french
doors off the family room so I could accomodate both kids at the
same time and be able to see them)
With regards to the original post, I agree with what others have
posted! Trust them. They will find the balance that works for them.
Offer lots of cool other options.
Oh, one more comment, the movies and videos WILL get boring over
time. TV does too. Mine are pretty much past the stage of wanting
repeats. Now I hear "Isn't there anything new?"
Kiersten
mom to Jacob 4 1/2 and Emma 3
Joanne
Here some ideas just off the top of my head. I've toyed around with
getting an unschooling group going in my area.
1. Put up flyers every place a parent or a child would go.
2. Plan a get together for about a month after you get the word out.
Something informal and casual.
3. Post the link to your group on unschooling lists and boards.
Maybe a few search engines also.
4. Maybe you can plan a get together at the library. If yours is
like ours, they don't change a fee and they'll help you promote it.
5. Make up a t-shirt saying something like San Diego Unschoolers and
wear it when you're out. Make some for your kids also. :-)
That's all I can think of right now. Good luck!!
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
http://foreverparents.com
--- In [email protected], Rebecca DeLong
<elfmama_2@...> wrote:
San Diego unschoolers but its quiet, maybe 1-2 posts a month,
sometimes a few more.
aside for the confrence has had to go to fixing Jasons foot,
so...maybe next year)
relaxed homeschoolers will be willing to get together as
well....maybe some converts?!
thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
getting an unschooling group going in my area.
1. Put up flyers every place a parent or a child would go.
2. Plan a get together for about a month after you get the word out.
Something informal and casual.
3. Post the link to your group on unschooling lists and boards.
Maybe a few search engines also.
4. Maybe you can plan a get together at the library. If yours is
like ours, they don't change a fee and they'll help you promote it.
5. Make up a t-shirt saying something like San Diego Unschoolers and
wear it when you're out. Make some for your kids also. :-)
That's all I can think of right now. Good luck!!
~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (11) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
http://foreverparents.com
--- In [email protected], Rebecca DeLong
<elfmama_2@...> wrote:
>that could help me.
>
>
> I was hoping that someone may have some tips, ideas...anything,
>and a small relaxed/unschooling subset. There is a yahoo group for
> There is a fairly large homeschholing community in San Diego,
San Diego unschoolers but its quiet, maybe 1-2 posts a month,
sometimes a few more.
>with other unschoolers. (Unfortunatly the money that we had set
> I have really been feeling the need for community and conections
aside for the confrence has had to go to fixing Jasons foot,
so...maybe next year)
>bit better with the unschoolers, I'm hoping that with the summer the
> I am trying of figure out a way to get things moving/flowing a
relaxed homeschoolers will be willing to get together as
well....maybe some converts?!
>will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and
> Any ideas, suggestions?
>
> TIA
> ~Rebecca
>
>
>
> Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self
thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
>
> 3boysleadtheway@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Do you Yahoo!?
> Next-gen email? Have it all with the all-new Yahoo! Mail Beta.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Lesa ODaniel
I was the same way before I had my son. My husband was so sad because he had
a mom who never allowed him to have sugary cereal (always bought the huge
bags of health food store puffed rice). Of course when he got to college
(and really for many years until he decided to change his diet for his own
reasons) he would buy the sugariest cereals or dump tons of sugar onto the
healthy stuff I would buy.
My son has now discovered TV and I dealt with the same feelings the original
poster is dealing with. I admit I had used TV as a babysitter for a half
hour each evening so I could make dinner. At first it was just Teletubbies
when he was about 10 months old. He loved it and learned a ton from it. I
used to think it was a creepy show until I sat and watched it with him
occasionally. They have a lot of neat things on there - short films from
different countries with kids doing all sorts of new activities; singing;
dancing, etc.
About 4 months ago we were both sick and stayed home all day watching movies
and different kids TV shows. On that day he discovered Dora, Backyardigans,
Barney and an animal show called Zoboomafoo. He loves these shows now and
can't get enough of them. Particularly Dora and Backyardigans. It's funny,
though. He HAS to watch each of these 2 shows at least once per day and he
rejects any other ideas for activities I have for us. I start to worry and
then just when I feel like it's becoming too much I see him making
connections with real world events or people. We'll be out somewhere and
he'll point to something or someone or hear a song, etc., and say, "like
Dora does". It will take me a minute to run through the episode in my head
and see what connection he's making. Once I see how he's connecting them I
really can see how much he's learning from this new thing.
It's funny, after worrying about all this TV exposure (he's just 2) and then
exploring my feelings through these forums and various unschooling books, I
remembered how much I learned from TV when I was a kid. I can remember 10
specific things I learned from TV at a young age (including particular
reading rules that began to make sense through TV). It was weird to have
those memories crop up all of a sudden. Amazing what you guys can pull out
of a person through these forums :)
Lesa O'Daniel, AAHCC
Instructor, Bradley Method� of Natural Childbirth
323-541-5515
http://www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=O123&Count=N
Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today - it's FREE!
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a mom who never allowed him to have sugary cereal (always bought the huge
bags of health food store puffed rice). Of course when he got to college
(and really for many years until he decided to change his diet for his own
reasons) he would buy the sugariest cereals or dump tons of sugar onto the
healthy stuff I would buy.
My son has now discovered TV and I dealt with the same feelings the original
poster is dealing with. I admit I had used TV as a babysitter for a half
hour each evening so I could make dinner. At first it was just Teletubbies
when he was about 10 months old. He loved it and learned a ton from it. I
used to think it was a creepy show until I sat and watched it with him
occasionally. They have a lot of neat things on there - short films from
different countries with kids doing all sorts of new activities; singing;
dancing, etc.
About 4 months ago we were both sick and stayed home all day watching movies
and different kids TV shows. On that day he discovered Dora, Backyardigans,
Barney and an animal show called Zoboomafoo. He loves these shows now and
can't get enough of them. Particularly Dora and Backyardigans. It's funny,
though. He HAS to watch each of these 2 shows at least once per day and he
rejects any other ideas for activities I have for us. I start to worry and
then just when I feel like it's becoming too much I see him making
connections with real world events or people. We'll be out somewhere and
he'll point to something or someone or hear a song, etc., and say, "like
Dora does". It will take me a minute to run through the episode in my head
and see what connection he's making. Once I see how he's connecting them I
really can see how much he's learning from this new thing.
It's funny, after worrying about all this TV exposure (he's just 2) and then
exploring my feelings through these forums and various unschooling books, I
remembered how much I learned from TV when I was a kid. I can remember 10
specific things I learned from TV at a young age (including particular
reading rules that began to make sense through TV). It was weird to have
those memories crop up all of a sudden. Amazing what you guys can pull out
of a person through these forums :)
Lesa O'Daniel, AAHCC
Instructor, Bradley Method� of Natural Childbirth
323-541-5515
http://www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=O123&Count=N
>From: "Ren Allen" <starsuncloud@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: [unschoolingbasics] real life example
>Date: Tue, 04 Jul 2006 20:06:01 -0000
>
>~I must admit, before I had kids I thought "no tv, only healthy foods,
>no plastic toys, etc." was the way to go. ~
>
>ME TOO!
>My poor children were destined for a life of crunchiness with no say
>in the matter. Good thing I discovered that I didn't need to EXHAUST
>myself trying to control all of that. phew.
>
>Ren
>learninginfreedom.com
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today - it's FREE!
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Pamela Sorooshian
On Jul 5, 2006, at 9:23 AM, Lesa ODaniel wrote:
he LOVES them and he loves them because his brain is being stimulated
by them.
And - you meant he rejects your attempts to get him to do other
activities in place of watching his two favorite shows?
Supporting his interests -- that would mean making sure his two
favorite shows (at least) get recorded so that he can be sure not to
miss them. If you record them, then you can reassure him that he can
watch them as soon as you get home (if you're wanting to go out - if
you're not wanting to go out, then be supportive and plan other
activities around his favorite shows).
a lot happier and so will he.
Can you start looking at his tv shows differently? Instead of
thinking they're taking him away from something, think of how they
are opening up all kinds of ideas and images and possibilities for
him and how your role is to expand on those - talk about them, enjoy
them together, make connections to them, etc.
The same principle will hold throughout his childhood/teenagehood.
Later, he might be into skateboarding to the point that it seems, to
you, like 'that's all he ever does' - and that might not seem, to
you, like a "worthwhile pursuit." But, you'll need to shake off your
biases and trust him and support that interest. You can't imagine,
now, what interests he might have, later. My 18 yo spent years
absolutely enthralled with everything to do with CATS (the musical).
My 15 yo loves soccer and martial arts more than anything else. So -
we all have gotten really into the FIFA World Cup and just a week or
two ago I took some kids to watch a Brazilian martial arts demo, and
I bought a whole bunch of Bruce Lee movies when I happened to see
them for sale (cheap), and on and on. I don't try to get her to do
something else - but I do support what she is interested in and I put
my energy into coming up with connections and ways to expand her
world based on her real interests. At the same time, she's constantly
exposed to other possibilities as we live our active, interesting,
happy lives.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> He HAS to watch each of these 2 shows at least once per day and heHe chooses to watch each of these 2 shows at least once a day because
> rejects any other ideas for activities I have for us.
he LOVES them and he loves them because his brain is being stimulated
by them.
And - you meant he rejects your attempts to get him to do other
activities in place of watching his two favorite shows?
Supporting his interests -- that would mean making sure his two
favorite shows (at least) get recorded so that he can be sure not to
miss them. If you record them, then you can reassure him that he can
watch them as soon as you get home (if you're wanting to go out - if
you're not wanting to go out, then be supportive and plan other
activities around his favorite shows).
> I start to worry andWhen you stop worrying and start supporting his interests, you'll be
> then just when I feel like it's becoming too much I see him making
> connections with real world events or people.
a lot happier and so will he.
Can you start looking at his tv shows differently? Instead of
thinking they're taking him away from something, think of how they
are opening up all kinds of ideas and images and possibilities for
him and how your role is to expand on those - talk about them, enjoy
them together, make connections to them, etc.
The same principle will hold throughout his childhood/teenagehood.
Later, he might be into skateboarding to the point that it seems, to
you, like 'that's all he ever does' - and that might not seem, to
you, like a "worthwhile pursuit." But, you'll need to shake off your
biases and trust him and support that interest. You can't imagine,
now, what interests he might have, later. My 18 yo spent years
absolutely enthralled with everything to do with CATS (the musical).
My 15 yo loves soccer and martial arts more than anything else. So -
we all have gotten really into the FIFA World Cup and just a week or
two ago I took some kids to watch a Brazilian martial arts demo, and
I bought a whole bunch of Bruce Lee movies when I happened to see
them for sale (cheap), and on and on. I don't try to get her to do
something else - but I do support what she is interested in and I put
my energy into coming up with connections and ways to expand her
world based on her real interests. At the same time, she's constantly
exposed to other possibilities as we live our active, interesting,
happy lives.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Lesa ODaniel
>On Jul 5, 2006, at 10:18 AM, Pamela Sorooshian wrote:**I see this now and was trying to show the original poster how I used to be
>
>
>He chooses to watch each of these 2 shows at least once a day because
>he LOVES them and he loves them because his brain is being stimulated
>by them.
bothered by this TV watching but how I am beginning to not be so worried
anymore.
>And - you meant he rejects your attempts to get him to do other**Yes, he rejects my suggestions for other activities when he's asking to
>activities in place of watching his two favorite shows?
>Supporting his interests -- that would mean making sure his two
>favorite shows (at least) get recorded so that he can be sure not to
>miss them. If you record them, then you can reassure him that he can
>watch them as soon as you get home (if you're wanting to go out - if
>you're not wanting to go out, then be supportive and plan other
>activities around his favorite shows).
watch Dora or Backyardigans for the 2nd or 3rd time in a row. I don't have a
problem with it, I just want to be sure I'm offering other things to do so
that he's not only looking to the TV for entertainment. We do support his
interests. We TiVo his favorite shows so he can watch them over and over
again. We also get videos and books that have to do with these characters.
Some days we don't get out of the house because he'll wake up wanting to
watch them and then I'll suggest something for afterward (like going to the
library or working in the garden or going to the park or hardware store or
out to get ice cream, etc.) and he'll say no to that idea and he'll ask to
watch the episode again immediately afterward. Again, I no longer have a
problem, I was just letting the OP know that it's part of the process of
letting go.
>**I agree - that's what I am beginning to see.
>When you stop worrying and start supporting his interests, you'll be
>a lot happier and so will he.
>Can you start looking at his tv shows differently? Instead of**Again, I already pointed out that he was making connections to things in
>thinking they're taking him away from something, think of how they
>are opening up all kinds of ideas and images and possibilities for
>him and how your role is to expand on those - talk about them, enjoy
>them together, make connections to them, etc.
>
the real world and it's amazing to see and it puts my fears/voices to rest.
_________________________________________________________________
On the road to retirement? Check out MSN Life Events for advice on how to
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Michelle/Melbrigða
On 7/5/06, Lesa ODaniel <lesaodaniel@...> wrote:
DVR! Our DVR has really freed up our lives. We are currently renting
one through our cable provider, but we are talking about getting our
own that will also record things to DVD. DVR has freed us to be able
to watch two (or three) conflicting shows, freed us to be able to
watch what we want when we want and freed us from feeling like we are
missing out if we choose one activity over another (such as television
and a park visit or planned activity) Plus being able to fast forward
through commercials is well worth the cost LOL!!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
> He HAS to watch each of these 2 shows at least once per day and heI know we have talked about this before but I can't emphasise enough
> rejects any other ideas for activities I have for us.
DVR! Our DVR has really freed up our lives. We are currently renting
one through our cable provider, but we are talking about getting our
own that will also record things to DVD. DVR has freed us to be able
to watch two (or three) conflicting shows, freed us to be able to
watch what we want when we want and freed us from feeling like we are
missing out if we choose one activity over another (such as television
and a park visit or planned activity) Plus being able to fast forward
through commercials is well worth the cost LOL!!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
Rebecca DeLong
"Joanne" billyandjoanne@... wrote:
Here some ideas just off the top of my head. I've toyed around with
getting an unschooling group going in my area.
1. Put up flyers every place a parent or a child would go.
2. Plan a get together for about a month after you get the word out.
Something informal and casual.
3. Post the link to your group on unschooling lists and boards.
Maybe a few search engines also.
4. Maybe you can plan a get together at the library. If yours is
like ours, they don't change a fee and they'll help you promote it.
5. Make up a t-shirt saying something like San Diego Unschoolers and
wear it when you're out. Make some for your kids also. :-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanx for the ideas! I think that I have a destination in mind, and a pretty good idea on hoe to get there. ;)
Thanx again to all for the ideas!
~Rebecca
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
3boysleadtheway@...
---------------------------------
Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Here some ideas just off the top of my head. I've toyed around with
getting an unschooling group going in my area.
1. Put up flyers every place a parent or a child would go.
2. Plan a get together for about a month after you get the word out.
Something informal and casual.
3. Post the link to your group on unschooling lists and boards.
Maybe a few search engines also.
4. Maybe you can plan a get together at the library. If yours is
like ours, they don't change a fee and they'll help you promote it.
5. Make up a t-shirt saying something like San Diego Unschoolers and
wear it when you're out. Make some for your kids also. :-)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thanx for the ideas! I think that I have a destination in mind, and a pretty good idea on hoe to get there. ;)
Thanx again to all for the ideas!
~Rebecca
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
3boysleadtheway@...
---------------------------------
Want to be your own boss? Learn how on Yahoo! Small Business.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]