When we mistakenly look for 'schoolish' things...
freepsgal
I've been thinking alot and discussing unschooling as a lifestyle with
my husband. We're both happy with how things are right now but we're
both wondering about the future. Last night, I realized I was still
holding onto the idea that my children would reach a point in their
teen years where they'd get serious about school and choose a program
to complete that would help them toward their goals, i.e. college or
other life work. Now, I've not been consciously thinking this, but
through talking with my DH, I felt silly that the thought was still
there in the back of my mind. I had to ask aloud, 'What if my
children never choose to do anything that looks schoolish in my
eyes?'
How can new unschoolers get past this traditional thinking?
Beth M.
my husband. We're both happy with how things are right now but we're
both wondering about the future. Last night, I realized I was still
holding onto the idea that my children would reach a point in their
teen years where they'd get serious about school and choose a program
to complete that would help them toward their goals, i.e. college or
other life work. Now, I've not been consciously thinking this, but
through talking with my DH, I felt silly that the thought was still
there in the back of my mind. I had to ask aloud, 'What if my
children never choose to do anything that looks schoolish in my
eyes?'
How can new unschoolers get past this traditional thinking?
Beth M.
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 6/21/06, freepsgal <freepsgal@...> wrote:
your passions. Find that thing in life that brings you joy! Look
back at your life and ask yourself if you are doing the things that
were schooled to do. Ask yourself if you are doing anything with all
the schooling that you took. Look at all the things that you are
doing and ask if they are a result of schooling or passion. I can't
tell you the number of people I meet who have a degree in "thus in
such" but they are working in a totally unrelated field. They did
their obligatory four years (or for some of us it was more like 5 or
6 LOL!) and got out and realized that they really didn't want to be an
accountant, a history teacher, a biologist, a sociologist, an
engineer, a school teacher, etc etc etc. I knew a girl in college who
wanted to study math. She loved numbers. She loved solving puzzles.
Her parents pushed and pushed her to get a teaching degree because
"there is no money in mathematics." She got her teaching degree,
lasted 3 weeks in the classroom and promptly went back to college and
took all the math classes she could. She didn't finish a "degree
program" but she took math classes. I lost track of her for a number
of years but I ran into a mutual friend recently who hears from her
regularly. Guess what she does? She's a mathematician with the
FBI!!!! If you have seen the show Numb3rs, that's the sort of work
she does. She LOVES it.
My co-parent is another prime example of someone who unschooled
himself. He's a self-taught computer geek (and he finds that term a
compliment!) He's doing that thing that he is passionate about. He
loves all the different aspects of computers and reads programming
books and tech manuals like my kids read manga! I've watched his eyes
light up and get all excited when he learns a new way to manipulate a
program or piece of hardware. No degree and he says that he just
cannot think of quitting his job because it is so multi-dimensional
finding another job that pays what this one does would be nearly
impossible. Secretly I think he likes it because they let him have
all the newest gadgets, toys, OSes, and he has 6 (or maybe it is 8)
computer monitors in his office all hooked to 4 conjoined computers.
Yes; totally unschooled since he barely squeaked out of public school
and living his passion!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
>In all honesty? Unschool yourself. Find your passions. Indulge in
> I've been thinking alot and discussing unschooling as a lifestyle with
> my husband. We're both happy with how things are right now but we're
> both wondering about the future. Last night, I realized I was still
> holding onto the idea that my children would reach a point in their
> teen years where they'd get serious about school and choose a program
> to complete that would help them toward their goals, i.e. college or
> other life work. Now, I've not been consciously thinking this, but
> through talking with my DH, I felt silly that the thought was still
> there in the back of my mind. I had to ask aloud, 'What if my
> children never choose to do anything that looks schoolish in my
> eyes?'
>
> How can new unschoolers get past this traditional thinking?
>
your passions. Find that thing in life that brings you joy! Look
back at your life and ask yourself if you are doing the things that
were schooled to do. Ask yourself if you are doing anything with all
the schooling that you took. Look at all the things that you are
doing and ask if they are a result of schooling or passion. I can't
tell you the number of people I meet who have a degree in "thus in
such" but they are working in a totally unrelated field. They did
their obligatory four years (or for some of us it was more like 5 or
6 LOL!) and got out and realized that they really didn't want to be an
accountant, a history teacher, a biologist, a sociologist, an
engineer, a school teacher, etc etc etc. I knew a girl in college who
wanted to study math. She loved numbers. She loved solving puzzles.
Her parents pushed and pushed her to get a teaching degree because
"there is no money in mathematics." She got her teaching degree,
lasted 3 weeks in the classroom and promptly went back to college and
took all the math classes she could. She didn't finish a "degree
program" but she took math classes. I lost track of her for a number
of years but I ran into a mutual friend recently who hears from her
regularly. Guess what she does? She's a mathematician with the
FBI!!!! If you have seen the show Numb3rs, that's the sort of work
she does. She LOVES it.
My co-parent is another prime example of someone who unschooled
himself. He's a self-taught computer geek (and he finds that term a
compliment!) He's doing that thing that he is passionate about. He
loves all the different aspects of computers and reads programming
books and tech manuals like my kids read manga! I've watched his eyes
light up and get all excited when he learns a new way to manipulate a
program or piece of hardware. No degree and he says that he just
cannot think of quitting his job because it is so multi-dimensional
finding another job that pays what this one does would be nearly
impossible. Secretly I think he likes it because they let him have
all the newest gadgets, toys, OSes, and he has 6 (or maybe it is 8)
computer monitors in his office all hooked to 4 conjoined computers.
Yes; totally unschooled since he barely squeaked out of public school
and living his passion!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
Deb
By focusing on the Now instead of the Not Yet. By letting go
of "what ifs" and thinking about the "what is". All those 'what ifs'
are old fears surfacing. All those old messages about
being "productive" and all. So, take them out and look at them. What
is the worst that could happen if the kids -never- did anything that
looks schoolish? What's the worst that can happen if they wait until
they're 25 to think about college? (which is what my DH did - we
were already married by then). Is there *anything* joyful and life-
affirming and, okay, "productive" that you can do now about that?
For instance, in a different vein but similar idea, "what if DS
falls and breaks an arm?" Okay, I can fret and stew and over-protect
him OR I can learn proper first aid, keep a stocked first aid kit
handy, have splint materials available, have some way to reach
emergency medical help, and so on. Then let life happen. (BTW he's
now 8 and has had two broken bones already. DH and I are both CPR
and first aid certified) In other words, I can let fear run our
lives or I can prepare as much as possible and then LIVE life. Also,
if you are doing things for your own self (knitting, gardening, cake
decorating, tae kwon doh, scuba diving, whatever) you'll have less
time for stewing AND you'll be bringing new ideas, people, places,
events into the lives of your family.
--Deb
of "what ifs" and thinking about the "what is". All those 'what ifs'
are old fears surfacing. All those old messages about
being "productive" and all. So, take them out and look at them. What
is the worst that could happen if the kids -never- did anything that
looks schoolish? What's the worst that can happen if they wait until
they're 25 to think about college? (which is what my DH did - we
were already married by then). Is there *anything* joyful and life-
affirming and, okay, "productive" that you can do now about that?
For instance, in a different vein but similar idea, "what if DS
falls and breaks an arm?" Okay, I can fret and stew and over-protect
him OR I can learn proper first aid, keep a stocked first aid kit
handy, have splint materials available, have some way to reach
emergency medical help, and so on. Then let life happen. (BTW he's
now 8 and has had two broken bones already. DH and I are both CPR
and first aid certified) In other words, I can let fear run our
lives or I can prepare as much as possible and then LIVE life. Also,
if you are doing things for your own self (knitting, gardening, cake
decorating, tae kwon doh, scuba diving, whatever) you'll have less
time for stewing AND you'll be bringing new ideas, people, places,
events into the lives of your family.
--Deb
freepsgal
> In all honesty? Unschool yourself. Find your passions. IndulgeThanks Deb and Michelle. You both make lots of sense. I like Deb's
> in your passions. Find that thing in life that brings you joy!
way of putting it, that I should live in the 'now' with 'what is'
and not worry about 'what if'. And Michelle, I kid you not, I have
NO idea what passions I might have. My mother was/is very big into
marriage and family. She raised me to find a husband who would
support me and let me stay home with the kids. She just doesn't
understand women who choose to work if they have the option of
staying home because all she's ever wanted to do is stay home. But
she was never the type of involved parent I am. She did her own
things, either watching television all day, or chatting with her
friends, the moms of my friends. She's perfectly content if she has
a tv, cable box and a refrigerator. That's not my style, though I
love being home with my children. She's in awe that I am so
involved in their lives but she worries I won't be able to let go
when they are ready to "leave the nest". I hate that term. :)
Finding my interests is more overwhelming than curriculum decisions
when I was doing strict school at home! *lol* The only passion
I've had since being a child was becoming a mom. I'd love to have
more children but my DH is done, done and done. But no worries, I
look forward to being a grandmother. But I've been in baby-
making/wanting mode for so long that I don't recall ever having any
other desire. My college days were kind of cool. I loved being in
class. But I was working toward a degree because I remember my
daddy telling me that if I wanted to be somebody, I needed to get a
college degree. He passed away 17 years ago and I am still playing
that record in my head even though I don't believe it from a logical
point of view. I feel like the whole world is open before me and I
only need to take a step forward to begin, yet I hold back
because ... I don't know why to be honest. Nothing sounds
interesting enough but that sounds like an excuse.
My latest passion is beating Paper Mario The 1000 Year Door for
Nintendo Gamecube. I'll just focus on that and not worry about
everything else right now. :)
Beth M.
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: freepsgal <freepsgal@...>
I had to ask aloud, 'What if my
children never choose to do anything that looks schoolish in my
eyes?'
How can new unschoolers get past this traditional thinking?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Thinking about what *you* do that's schoolish might help.
I can't think of anything "schoolish" that I do on a regular or
semi-regular basis. Well, I read. I write. I let Ben do my taxes. <g>
But school-thinking is not a part of our grown-up lives. Why should it
be a part of a child's?
OH! I *do* help my best friend who is the head of a private school for
children with learning differences. I give her ideas. She bounces
things off me. But she's pretty alternative----still it's school-like
thinking, but it doesn't touch my *real* life in any way---just makes
me more aware of what's happening in alternative schools.
But---what do *you* really do that looks schoolish?
A life filled with passion (as the other posters suggested) is the
best way to get past it yourself. But also looking at your life and
what's schoolish about it might too.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
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From: freepsgal <freepsgal@...>
I had to ask aloud, 'What if my
children never choose to do anything that looks schoolish in my
eyes?'
How can new unschoolers get past this traditional thinking?
-=-=-=-=-=-
Thinking about what *you* do that's schoolish might help.
I can't think of anything "schoolish" that I do on a regular or
semi-regular basis. Well, I read. I write. I let Ben do my taxes. <g>
But school-thinking is not a part of our grown-up lives. Why should it
be a part of a child's?
OH! I *do* help my best friend who is the head of a private school for
children with learning differences. I give her ideas. She bounces
things off me. But she's pretty alternative----still it's school-like
thinking, but it doesn't touch my *real* life in any way---just makes
me more aware of what's happening in alternative schools.
But---what do *you* really do that looks schoolish?
A life filled with passion (as the other posters suggested) is the
best way to get past it yourself. But also looking at your life and
what's schoolish about it might too.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.