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Tina said:

<< We do everything together as a group- I don't take one child at a time
for a "special outing" or for "boy's day out" or "girl's day out".

For me time, Dh and I take one Friday a month for "us time" and go out to
dinner, and I spend my evenings curled up with a good book "ignoring" what goes
on around me in the room unless someone calls my name. Sometimes if it's
rowdier than I am up for I'll take the book to my room for quiet time. I've done
this forever- before kids, when they were babies, toddlers, now that there
are two teens and an 8 yr old, and I'll do it when they're all in college and
dh and I are retired. =)>>


I missed how many children you have. This is a good topic as families get
larger and unschooling becomes more publicized.
We have four ages 2, 4, 6 and 14.9. I know it's a challenge to balance time
so I do make time for each child. Cameron, our 2 yr old has required much
more of my time so I have needed to work around that.
Sunday for instance I took just Nicholas (4) grocery shopping and Saturday
Cassidy and I went to a few places and later built a bird house at midnight.
With small children (thinking of my 2 yr old) I too need a break however I
don't get one and not my children. Children need alone time just as adults do. I
know for our children if I asked (which I don't need to bc they tell me)
they want time with just us or to do something alone.

Dustin is much older and a free thinker so If I don't make that teen time
our communication breaks down and he lets me know. When I take a business trip I
take him. This year we went to NY and Canada and it was great having him
with me. Being one day trips and travel time being as it was he was the best
option. The kids are a large part of the business success.

I do know families who say all or nothing and I can see the bummer look on
the older kids faces when they want to do a teen thing without a toddler. Teens
are not mini parents and with several children they do become that (which in
moderation I think is good exposure BUT not forced or required) all the time
IMO is unfair to them.

I am busy with four however my relationship with all of my kids is equally
important so we tweak day to day, hour to hour and minute to minute. There are
compromises needed and no one goes without their wish it's just delayed
*sometimes* while we finish what another child was doing or going (if we can't
find a solution to make it happen often we do). That said I don't regret having
the 2nd,3rd or 4th child.

We have been known to spend our anniversary in a hotel with the kids and at
the conference we needed to change gears so all could be happy(Nicholas
wanted to go home).

To address the original Q from Laura.. Two (b and g 8 years apart) was too
spread apart for me. 3 was nice as is 4. I'd say it depends on the parents
patience. I've seen families grow while the parents lost communication with the
teen and that is sad and nothing to do with unschooling that's for sure.
I've also seen parents do playground after playground full of toddlers while the
teen copes. That sucks..

I hear you on the mom time thing and I'd say if your not willing to let some
of that go during the first year or so I'd reconsider if you want to go
through the stages again. My older two were and are easier then the second two.
My 4 yr old is very sensitive when he gets tired/food triggers so that is
something we work around. The 2 yr old is my longest bf'ing baby and I AP'd with
him the first 1yr 1/2. That requires/ed me to be there for him much more than
the last 3. He nursed nearly nonstop the first 15 months and we co-sleep.
Sleep is my trigger so co-sleeping a BF'ing baby was bliss to me as are late
nights after he's sleeping.
I needed to be creative to be there for all my kids and I did/am. Just
busier at times..

I personally don't have a cap on how many children we have though I do know
it's challenging for me to do things like conventions and appointments. We
have been able to make it all happen but not without a little creativity.
Unschooling helped that's for sure..

If I wasn't unschooling I may not know my children as deeply as I do. I
don't think how many children one has matters though I do see the parents
patience and style as being major.
Unschooling seems to me to be perfect for a larger family who is open to
each child being their own person.

Laura
UnschoolingMaine.com



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