A tiny aha!
Mary Alice
Okay, so I have a problem with small children goofing around in a busy
parking lot. They get that-I think they even get the why of it all. But the
little one walks more slowly than anyone on Earth <g>! Usual response is
dragging, nagging. Yesterday, I took a mental step back because I knew I
could not just walk off and leave him to fend for himself in a parking lot
if he didn't want to hold hands or keep up with the rest of us. I realized
it was my job to keep him safe and rather than insist that he stay with us,
I could just slow down and keep pace with him. Duh!
I would do this for an 18 month old, but it hadn't occurred to me that the
most peaceful path here with a 6 year old would be the same. Voices in back
of head: "He should know by now!" "Does he want to get hit by a car?"
"Doesn't he realize how dangerous it is to drift off into la-la land in the
middle of the street?" I don't even have to pay 'm any mind. Just do the
next right thing.
It has been just a matter of looking at what is really important here, what
is going on underneath this? A practice I have always done (many normal
things like sleeping in our own beds and bedtimes and naptimes and even
mealtimes don't make sense to me!) but I just get to carry it a little
further now.
When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears!
Mary Alice Madaris
Mother and Facilitator to Elijah and Noah
Wife and partner to Mike
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
parking lot. They get that-I think they even get the why of it all. But the
little one walks more slowly than anyone on Earth <g>! Usual response is
dragging, nagging. Yesterday, I took a mental step back because I knew I
could not just walk off and leave him to fend for himself in a parking lot
if he didn't want to hold hands or keep up with the rest of us. I realized
it was my job to keep him safe and rather than insist that he stay with us,
I could just slow down and keep pace with him. Duh!
I would do this for an 18 month old, but it hadn't occurred to me that the
most peaceful path here with a 6 year old would be the same. Voices in back
of head: "He should know by now!" "Does he want to get hit by a car?"
"Doesn't he realize how dangerous it is to drift off into la-la land in the
middle of the street?" I don't even have to pay 'm any mind. Just do the
next right thing.
It has been just a matter of looking at what is really important here, what
is going on underneath this? A practice I have always done (many normal
things like sleeping in our own beds and bedtimes and naptimes and even
mealtimes don't make sense to me!) but I just get to carry it a little
further now.
When the pupil is ready, the teacher appears!
Mary Alice Madaris
Mother and Facilitator to Elijah and Noah
Wife and partner to Mike
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Go Mary!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 6/19/06, Mary Alice <mapraelm@...> wrote:
Emily was a toddler and I was pregnant with Mary Elayne. Emily had a
horrible habit of running off in the stores. I would plead with her
to "be good" when we were in the stores. Then one day that aha hit me
upside the head and I realized that I was giving her a very general
command "be good" rather than to ask her what it was that I expected
her to actually do. All I really wanted was for her to stay with me.
How could I creatively get her to stay with me, not feel like I have
to fun after her all through the store (which isn't conducive to
shopping) and at the same time not make her feel like she was having
to obey my rules. Once I could look at it from a different approach I
stopped asking her to "be good" and became creative in grocery store
child management :) our shopping trips became much more fun for both
of us!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
>I realized
> it was my job to keep him safe and rather than insist that he stay with us,Good for you!! This sounds like my "aha moment" from many years ago.
> I could just slow down and keep pace with him. Duh!
Emily was a toddler and I was pregnant with Mary Elayne. Emily had a
horrible habit of running off in the stores. I would plead with her
to "be good" when we were in the stores. Then one day that aha hit me
upside the head and I realized that I was giving her a very general
command "be good" rather than to ask her what it was that I expected
her to actually do. All I really wanted was for her to stay with me.
How could I creatively get her to stay with me, not feel like I have
to fun after her all through the store (which isn't conducive to
shopping) and at the same time not make her feel like she was having
to obey my rules. Once I could look at it from a different approach I
stopped asking her to "be good" and became creative in grocery store
child management :) our shopping trips became much more fun for both
of us!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist