re: team commitment (looking into the future at bit)
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Hi,
I take each commitment at a time. For example, a recreation level team is just for fun, we pay our money and can go to it as much or little as we like. My son played on a basketball team like this and he had a horrid coach and a bunch of goofing off teammates, all schooled, so while he loved learning basketball and loved the games, practices were irritating and he could stay or leave as he wanted. I encouraged him to leave if things were deteriorating. Money should not be the reason for keeping going, just look at it like a donation, sure we paid $50 dollars, but the child is far more important than making sure you got your money's worth out of the activity. I have had a child quit an activity, but while it still was in session, I asked each time it was having a session if they wanted to go to art today. No, OK fine.
My guy is a competitive swimmer, on a team his choice for now 2 years. He loves to race, he loves to swim, but even he will get an occasional I don't want to go. So we talk about that right there. Is he wanting to do something with friends instead? Is he tired from too many meet days? Does he need to just chill out? The pool and his coaches will always be there. We are in a funny place with my swimmer because he is really able and his coaches and I are working to keep him from burning out, so we actively keep it fun for him including breaks and going easy and not being too serious at this young age. My guy has a goal to be an Olympic swimmer. It's his goal, we keep it in mind, but in the here and today we don't dwell on the future. Some days, a simple, sure stay home are good. Other days, I say hey, let's go to the pool and I'll stay around, if practice doesn't feel right you can leave.
Now, for a team with a real commitment, like say a higher level competitive team that is counting on you to fill a position, that is a different level of team commitment. My guy has been asked to guest play on a traveling soccer team. We talked about his role and his commitment. By saying yes, he was saying he would attend practices and games, unless sick or injured. So he does, by his choice. He didn't have to join the team, but he knows he is counted on and he follows through. If he did find he didn't want to keep going, I would help him tell the coach. Clear communication, that's all, no guilt.
So, I say have a fun summer with swim team. For a 6 year old it should be all fun, and each session really short like 1 hour or less. The coaches should be friendly, like little kids and fun to be with. I would stay and watch and see how your little one does and not dwell on days here or there that they don't want to go. You will know if you dd loves going. Again, it comes down to trusting the child to tell you what is right for her today and not forcing your own agenda on her.
Mary
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I take each commitment at a time. For example, a recreation level team is just for fun, we pay our money and can go to it as much or little as we like. My son played on a basketball team like this and he had a horrid coach and a bunch of goofing off teammates, all schooled, so while he loved learning basketball and loved the games, practices were irritating and he could stay or leave as he wanted. I encouraged him to leave if things were deteriorating. Money should not be the reason for keeping going, just look at it like a donation, sure we paid $50 dollars, but the child is far more important than making sure you got your money's worth out of the activity. I have had a child quit an activity, but while it still was in session, I asked each time it was having a session if they wanted to go to art today. No, OK fine.
My guy is a competitive swimmer, on a team his choice for now 2 years. He loves to race, he loves to swim, but even he will get an occasional I don't want to go. So we talk about that right there. Is he wanting to do something with friends instead? Is he tired from too many meet days? Does he need to just chill out? The pool and his coaches will always be there. We are in a funny place with my swimmer because he is really able and his coaches and I are working to keep him from burning out, so we actively keep it fun for him including breaks and going easy and not being too serious at this young age. My guy has a goal to be an Olympic swimmer. It's his goal, we keep it in mind, but in the here and today we don't dwell on the future. Some days, a simple, sure stay home are good. Other days, I say hey, let's go to the pool and I'll stay around, if practice doesn't feel right you can leave.
Now, for a team with a real commitment, like say a higher level competitive team that is counting on you to fill a position, that is a different level of team commitment. My guy has been asked to guest play on a traveling soccer team. We talked about his role and his commitment. By saying yes, he was saying he would attend practices and games, unless sick or injured. So he does, by his choice. He didn't have to join the team, but he knows he is counted on and he follows through. If he did find he didn't want to keep going, I would help him tell the coach. Clear communication, that's all, no guilt.
So, I say have a fun summer with swim team. For a 6 year old it should be all fun, and each session really short like 1 hour or less. The coaches should be friendly, like little kids and fun to be with. I would stay and watch and see how your little one does and not dwell on days here or there that they don't want to go. You will know if you dd loves going. Again, it comes down to trusting the child to tell you what is right for her today and not forcing your own agenda on her.
Mary
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