how to introduce unschooling to your children
Barbara Miller
Got another question. Refresher - I've homeschooled for 7 years - my 3
kids, ages 12, 10, and 6 have always been homeschooled, fwiw.
OK, say we decide to unschool. How do you tell your kids about it? How do
you explain that instead of doing various subjects, etc., they will be doing
life? How do you explain in a positive way that we won't have summer
vacation? (Yes, it was me that asked about summer vacation the other day -
my family doesn't obsess about summer - these are just the thoughts going
through my head since summer is somewhat looked forward to).
So you tell them they aren't going to be doing school anymore (background of
dancing and cheers), but then what do you say when they ask what you are
going to do? How do you introduce this pretty new and more or less totally
foreign concept? Those of you who switched from homeschooling to
unschooling - how did you do it?
Then you start unschooling, things are starting to hum along, more or less,
then what do you say to the question of "will we get a vacation?" I'm sure
some of you will respond with something like "we are already on vacation!"
But that might not go over with the kids. Do they just eventually see that
it is life and true freedom so they won't be envious at all when they see
their friends out of school?
I realize a lot of this is just that I am still trying to grasp the concept.
And I really am intrigued and interested in the concept. Now I'm trying to
grasp how the kids will react to unschooling. Thanks in advance for helping
this newbie to try to see how this might work. If unschooling was your idea
(vs. your child's), I'm interested to hear how you told them about it. :-)
Barbara
PS Thanks for the links. I've been looking through them. I didn't see this
addressed - if I missed it and someone has a handy link, I'd like to see it.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
kids, ages 12, 10, and 6 have always been homeschooled, fwiw.
OK, say we decide to unschool. How do you tell your kids about it? How do
you explain that instead of doing various subjects, etc., they will be doing
life? How do you explain in a positive way that we won't have summer
vacation? (Yes, it was me that asked about summer vacation the other day -
my family doesn't obsess about summer - these are just the thoughts going
through my head since summer is somewhat looked forward to).
So you tell them they aren't going to be doing school anymore (background of
dancing and cheers), but then what do you say when they ask what you are
going to do? How do you introduce this pretty new and more or less totally
foreign concept? Those of you who switched from homeschooling to
unschooling - how did you do it?
Then you start unschooling, things are starting to hum along, more or less,
then what do you say to the question of "will we get a vacation?" I'm sure
some of you will respond with something like "we are already on vacation!"
But that might not go over with the kids. Do they just eventually see that
it is life and true freedom so they won't be envious at all when they see
their friends out of school?
I realize a lot of this is just that I am still trying to grasp the concept.
And I really am intrigued and interested in the concept. Now I'm trying to
grasp how the kids will react to unschooling. Thanks in advance for helping
this newbie to try to see how this might work. If unschooling was your idea
(vs. your child's), I'm interested to hear how you told them about it. :-)
Barbara
PS Thanks for the links. I've been looking through them. I didn't see this
addressed - if I missed it and someone has a handy link, I'd like to see it.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Joyce Fetteroll
On Jun 11, 2006, at 3:40 PM, Barbara Miller wrote:
I think along the same lines as letting go of control, it's easier to
just say yes more often to what they suggest. Don't turn it into
something that you have to do. Just start living life and let life
unfold.
Go places. Do things together. Just have fun.
What if you knew life were going to change in ways that you couldn't
fathom and you couldn't prepare for it so the advice people gave you
was to just spend the time until then doing things you enjoyed. What
would you do?
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> So you tell them they aren't going to be doing school anymoreWell it's easy since it's summer. You just start doing summer things.
> (background of
> dancing and cheers), but then what do you say when they ask what
> you are
> going to do?
I think along the same lines as letting go of control, it's easier to
just say yes more often to what they suggest. Don't turn it into
something that you have to do. Just start living life and let life
unfold.
Go places. Do things together. Just have fun.
What if you knew life were going to change in ways that you couldn't
fathom and you couldn't prepare for it so the advice people gave you
was to just spend the time until then doing things you enjoyed. What
would you do?
Joyce
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
freepsgal
> Those of you who switched from homeschooling to unschooling -We were tired of doing stupid schoolwork. I used to have what I
> how did you do it?
called JOY days which were basically days with no written academic
work. We'd still do fun things like go to the movies, library, eat
at the mall, read a book aloud, play games, etc. As I read more
about unschooling (my 3rd big jump into the unschooling philosophy
actually), I claimed more JOY days. Sometimes, we'd have our Math
out and I'd ask the kids if they knew the concept being taught and
if they said yes, I'd say let's close that dumb book and do
something different.
When I finally made the leap to really call us unschoolers, we held
a family meeting to discuss our lifestyle changes. Because the one
thing I didn't do the previous 2 times I tried unschooling was to
change our entire lifestyle into radical unschooling. We didn't
really talk about not doing schoolwork, but instead focused on
changes in our lives. The biggest two changes were eliminating
bedtimes and official meal times. We discussed these changes as a
family to make sure that mutual respect and kindness were keys to
success. For example, my DH goes to sleep around 11:00pm and wakes
up at 6:00am to get ready for work. He doesn't like a lot of noise
when he's trying to sleep. The kids decided doing quiet activities
during dad's sleeping would be kindest thing since everyone was
getting something they wanted.
As for schoolwork, I asked a few times if they wanted to do their
schoolwork. The first few times were met with very puzzled looks
like they couldn't believe they were given an option. When they
said no, which I totally expected, I followed it up with 'Okay, what
should we do instead?' I quit asking about schoolwork after a week
or so because the kids just picked up on the idea that they were
truly FREE to choose their own activities. Ever since, we just live
each day doing what makes us happy. Every day is a JOY day. :)
> Then you start unschooling, things are starting to hum along, moreWhat kind of vacation? In our family, the word vacation means going
> or less, then what do you say to the question of "will we get a
> vacation?"
away somewhere different such as the beach, Disney World, or
Wisconsin to visit my ILs. So yes, we still take vacations. We can
only afford one big trip per year and that is what we call
vacation. If we do a day trip somewhere, like hiking or going to
the acquarium or zoo, we just say we're spending the day doing X.
Those are not vacation days for us.
> Do they just eventually see that it is life and true freedom soWhy would they feel envious? Some traditional homeschooling
> they won't be envious at all when they see their friends out of
> school?
families do 'school' when ps kids are out. I can see the
homeschooled kids of those families feeling envious. But if your
kids are truly able to do anything they like, even hanging out with
their friends whenever, why would they ever really feel envious?
Being out of school is a break from the stupid school routine and
boring schoolwork. If your kids aren't in a stupid routine or doing
boring schoolwork, they won't really require a break, will they?
> If unschooling was your idea (vs. your child's), I'm interested toMy kids do not research homeschooling like I do. I've been reading
> hear how you told them about it. :-)
> Barbara
about and trying out the different philsophies, trying to find
something that makes us happy. Unschooling is the only thing that
truly brings us JOY. The kids knew they did schoolwork on school
days and could play on non-school days. I didn't hand them any
expectations when I decided we'd live an unschooling lifestyle. I
think it would be really easy to fall into that 'newbie unschooler'
trap of taking the schedule away and expecting your children to
joyfully choose the same types of schoolish lessons and activities
you did before you began unschooling. If you're expecting that, you
will be sorely disappointed.
Have you officially 'finished' your school year? Did you previously
have a 'first day of school'? How about just not having it?? Just
start living, loving and enjoying your children on a daily basis and
let one day flow into the next. I can't say whether you should or
should not discuss unschooling with your kids. I didn't at first,
but did start bringing it up because I would occasionally read aloud
from Rue Kream's book. To be honest, they don't really care what
it's called. They are just happy that I am no longer scheduling
boring schoolwork or turning fun things into lessons. They are just
living ... period.
Beth M.
Melissa
We didn't tell our kids anything. We just stopped saying that it was
time for work, and kept doing our morning routine til it was
afternoon. Then we did our afternoon routine til it was night. Then
we tucked them in, slept all night, and did it again. Our homeschool
routine was pretty, well, routine. Wake up, make beds, eat breakfast.
play for an hour, do an hour or two of table time, eat lunch, tidy
the dining and kitchen. Then some quiet time, older kids reading and
younger being read to, then get up, do a couple of chores, prepare
dinner, eat, dishes, play around, sleep. Not hard to just drop that
hour of table time, and tbh, most of the kids prefer the routine,
minus the chores, and the table time is just craft time or video
games. Honestly, that schedule got us through a years' worth of
curriculum in four months. Now it's getting us through life one day
at a time.
What do you normally do for summer vacation? Do you go somewhere? Do
you do anything special besides stop assigning schoolwork? If you
travel, why would you not do that? If you go to theme parks, do it.
Do what you always do for summer. Because what we're doing day to day
isn't stuff the kids don't want to do, so they aren't desiring that
break that they used to have in the summer.
We didn't even tell them that we weren't doing school. When (if) they
asked, we just said we were taking a break. When they asked what
we're going to do, I'd say something like, well, I need to go to IGA,
is there someplace you wanted to stop? And we went there, no matter
what I felt about it. So the first few weeks we went to three
petstores, two comic book shops, a hardware store, and the florist.
No place really big, but places they'd always wanted to go but I said
later or not now, or we're too busy.
If you're kids ask when they will get a vacation, ask them what they
had in mind. If they are used to traveling, travel. I don't
understand why they would be envious of other schoolers. If they get
to stay at home without someone assigning work or making them do
meaningless mindnumbing number crunching, what would the problem be?
What are YOU seeing as unschooling?What are you seeing them do every
day?
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
time for work, and kept doing our morning routine til it was
afternoon. Then we did our afternoon routine til it was night. Then
we tucked them in, slept all night, and did it again. Our homeschool
routine was pretty, well, routine. Wake up, make beds, eat breakfast.
play for an hour, do an hour or two of table time, eat lunch, tidy
the dining and kitchen. Then some quiet time, older kids reading and
younger being read to, then get up, do a couple of chores, prepare
dinner, eat, dishes, play around, sleep. Not hard to just drop that
hour of table time, and tbh, most of the kids prefer the routine,
minus the chores, and the table time is just craft time or video
games. Honestly, that schedule got us through a years' worth of
curriculum in four months. Now it's getting us through life one day
at a time.
What do you normally do for summer vacation? Do you go somewhere? Do
you do anything special besides stop assigning schoolwork? If you
travel, why would you not do that? If you go to theme parks, do it.
Do what you always do for summer. Because what we're doing day to day
isn't stuff the kids don't want to do, so they aren't desiring that
break that they used to have in the summer.
We didn't even tell them that we weren't doing school. When (if) they
asked, we just said we were taking a break. When they asked what
we're going to do, I'd say something like, well, I need to go to IGA,
is there someplace you wanted to stop? And we went there, no matter
what I felt about it. So the first few weeks we went to three
petstores, two comic book shops, a hardware store, and the florist.
No place really big, but places they'd always wanted to go but I said
later or not now, or we're too busy.
If you're kids ask when they will get a vacation, ask them what they
had in mind. If they are used to traveling, travel. I don't
understand why they would be envious of other schoolers. If they get
to stay at home without someone assigning work or making them do
meaningless mindnumbing number crunching, what would the problem be?
What are YOU seeing as unschooling?What are you seeing them do every
day?
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jun 11, 2006, at 2:40 PM, Barbara Miller wrote:
> Got another question. Refresher - I've homeschooled for 7 years - my 3
> kids, ages 12, 10, and 6 have always been homeschooled, fwiw.
>
> OK, say we decide to unschool. How do you tell your kids about it?
> How do
> you explain that instead of doing various subjects, etc., they will
> be doing
> life? How do you explain in a positive way that we won't have summer
> vacation? (Yes, it was me that asked about summer vacation the
> other day -
> my family doesn't obsess about summer - these are just the thoughts
> going
> through my head since summer is somewhat looked forward to).
>
> So you tell them they aren't going to be doing school anymore
> (background of
> dancing and cheers), but then what do you say when they ask what
> you are
> going to do? How do you introduce this pretty new and more or less
> totally
> foreign concept? Those of you who switched from homeschooling to
> unschooling - how did you do it?
>
> Then you start unschooling, things are starting to hum along, more
> or less,
> then what do you say to the question of "will we get a vacation?"
> I'm sure
> some of you will respond with something like "we are already on
> vacation!"
> But that might not go over with the kids. Do they just eventually
> see that
> it is life and true freedom so they won't be envious at all when
> they see
> their friends out of school?
>
> I realize a lot of this is just that I am still trying to grasp the
> concept.
> And I really am intrigued and interested in the concept. Now I'm
> trying to
> grasp how the kids will react to unschooling. Thanks in advance for
> helping
> this newbie to try to see how this might work. If unschooling was
> your idea
> (vs. your child's), I'm interested to hear how you told them about
> it. :-)
>
> Barbara
>
> PS Thanks for the links. I've been looking through them. I didn't
> see this
> addressed - if I missed it and someone has a handy link, I'd like
> to see it.
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Barbara Miller
What do you normally do for summer vacation? Do you go somewhere? Do
you do anything special besides stop assigning schoolwork?
******** Not really - we swim, sometimes go to a theme park, have relatives
visit, but mostly just hang out, participate in summer reading programs, and
try to do as little activities as possible. <g>
is there someplace you wanted to stop? And we went there, no matter
what I felt about it. So the first few weeks we went to three
petstores, two comic book shops, a hardware store, and the florist.
No place really big, but places they'd always wanted to go but I said
later or not now, or we're too busy.
********* that sounds like fun. The kids don't ask too much to go different
places, but if I asked them, I might be surprised.
If you're kids ask when they will get a vacation, ask them what they
had in mind.
*********OK, I'm seeing the light a little. We don't travel a whole lot
(although I enjoy it and after our recent vacation my hubby and I said we
want to do it more often.) But, I'm getting it. If their idea of a
vacation is not doing school, so to speak, and we aren't doing school, so to
speak... ah ha - I'm getting it! :-)
What are YOU seeing as unschooling? What are you seeing them do every day?
********Now that is an easier question to answer. My oldest has developed a
somewhat recent interest in acting. She loves reading, both fiction,
biographies, and historical fiction. She also enjoys messing around with
her website and editing homemade videos she and her sisters and friends
make. I could easily see her unschooling. My 10 yo loves dancing and is
looking forward to getting point shoes in the near future. She reads, but
enjoys more entertainment type books - Calvin and Hobbes, The Great Brain
(my old books - I LOVED those growing up) - not into the nonfiction-type
stuff - and yes, I know that is fine - that is just how she is. :-) She
has shown an interest in mechanical-type stuff. One year we got her a
toolbox with some tools for Christmas. My 6 yo - well, who knows what her
interests are yet. But she is just 6. On the one hand, I can easily see
unschooling at her age b/c I think most homeschooling parents try to way
overdo it at young ages, but on the other hand, I think it is a little
harder. But, I imagine at her age, you just let them play - that is
learning enough! :-) And all of my kids like animals - like their mom. We
have had lots of different pets over the years and my 10 yo is waiting for
her bunny she picked out to be weaned.
Thanks for the responses. I'm looking forward to talking more with my
husband after I get done reading The Teenage Liberation Handbook and doing
some more research. We talked some about it on a date last week and I think
he is definitely open to the idea. Well, off to surf the web..
Barbara, to whom unschooling is becoming a little clearer every day
.
<http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=97359714&grpId=12789513&grpspId=1600081972&msgI
d=14422&stime=1150071624>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
you do anything special besides stop assigning schoolwork?
******** Not really - we swim, sometimes go to a theme park, have relatives
visit, but mostly just hang out, participate in summer reading programs, and
try to do as little activities as possible. <g>
is there someplace you wanted to stop? And we went there, no matter
what I felt about it. So the first few weeks we went to three
petstores, two comic book shops, a hardware store, and the florist.
No place really big, but places they'd always wanted to go but I said
later or not now, or we're too busy.
********* that sounds like fun. The kids don't ask too much to go different
places, but if I asked them, I might be surprised.
If you're kids ask when they will get a vacation, ask them what they
had in mind.
*********OK, I'm seeing the light a little. We don't travel a whole lot
(although I enjoy it and after our recent vacation my hubby and I said we
want to do it more often.) But, I'm getting it. If their idea of a
vacation is not doing school, so to speak, and we aren't doing school, so to
speak... ah ha - I'm getting it! :-)
What are YOU seeing as unschooling? What are you seeing them do every day?
********Now that is an easier question to answer. My oldest has developed a
somewhat recent interest in acting. She loves reading, both fiction,
biographies, and historical fiction. She also enjoys messing around with
her website and editing homemade videos she and her sisters and friends
make. I could easily see her unschooling. My 10 yo loves dancing and is
looking forward to getting point shoes in the near future. She reads, but
enjoys more entertainment type books - Calvin and Hobbes, The Great Brain
(my old books - I LOVED those growing up) - not into the nonfiction-type
stuff - and yes, I know that is fine - that is just how she is. :-) She
has shown an interest in mechanical-type stuff. One year we got her a
toolbox with some tools for Christmas. My 6 yo - well, who knows what her
interests are yet. But she is just 6. On the one hand, I can easily see
unschooling at her age b/c I think most homeschooling parents try to way
overdo it at young ages, but on the other hand, I think it is a little
harder. But, I imagine at her age, you just let them play - that is
learning enough! :-) And all of my kids like animals - like their mom. We
have had lots of different pets over the years and my 10 yo is waiting for
her bunny she picked out to be weaned.
Thanks for the responses. I'm looking forward to talking more with my
husband after I get done reading The Teenage Liberation Handbook and doing
some more research. We talked some about it on a date last week and I think
he is definitely open to the idea. Well, off to surf the web..
Barbara, to whom unschooling is becoming a little clearer every day
.
<http://geo.yahoo.com/serv?s=97359714&grpId=12789513&grpspId=1600081972&msgI
d=14422&stime=1150071624>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jun 11, 2006, at 12:40 PM, Barbara Miller wrote:
you, but not to unschoolers.
So - I'm sure others will say the same thing - just say you're
starting summer vacation right now, today. Then never stop.
In a few months the kids might ask, "Hey, when is vacation going to
be over?" You can say, "I think we'll just keep on as we are - I
don't want to interrupt all the cool things you've been doing." IF
they get to the point of saying things like, "But, mom, I'm not
learning anything!" then it is time to talk to them about unschooling.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>You're not there yet - the question of summer vacation makes sense to
> Then you start unschooling, things are starting to hum along, more
> or less,
> then what do you say to the question of "will we get a vacation?"
> I'm sure
> some of you will respond with something like "we are already on
> vacation!"
> But that might not go over with the kids. Do they just eventually
> see that
> it is life and true freedom so they won't be envious at all when
> they see
> their friends out of school?
>
>
>
> I realize a lot of this is just that I am still trying to grasp the
> concept.
you, but not to unschoolers.
So - I'm sure others will say the same thing - just say you're
starting summer vacation right now, today. Then never stop.
In a few months the kids might ask, "Hey, when is vacation going to
be over?" You can say, "I think we'll just keep on as we are - I
don't want to interrupt all the cool things you've been doing." IF
they get to the point of saying things like, "But, mom, I'm not
learning anything!" then it is time to talk to them about unschooling.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Barbara Miller <BarbMiller@...>
OK, say we decide to unschool. How do you tell your kids about it?
How do
you explain that instead of doing various subjects, etc., they will be
doing
life? How do you explain in a positive way that we won't have summer
vacation? (Yes, it was me that asked about summer vacation the other
day -
my family doesn't obsess about summer - these are just the thoughts
going
through my head since summer is somewhat looked forward to).
-=-=-=-=-
As with most things. it depends. <g>
I think it depends on your kids, your relationship with your kids, the
time of year, your issues, their concerns, their friends---lots of
things.
Probably the best and safest is to just start summer vacation as usual
and simply don't stop, come September (or first of August around here!
<g>). Just keep on going as if the summer vacation never ends.
If they ask, just say that it's been going so well so far. Let's keep
going.
If they question further, you can actually use the word, unschooling,
and explain how it works. How you realize that they are natural born
learners. That they have shown you how incredibly smart and creative
and curious they are---and that you found other unschooling parents who
believe that this is the best way that people learn, and they're
willing to answer all your questions, so you have latched on to it too.
You can give them some of the books to read or find them some
unschooling e-penpals or locals to hang with or go to the Live and
Learn Unschooling Conference, held September 6-10, 2006 in Albuquerque,
NM.
You can be as natural or as "lay-it-out-for-them-in-black-and-white" as
you need to be. Depends on the kids.
-=-=-=-=
So you tell them they aren't going to be doing school anymore
(background of
dancing and cheers), but then what do you say when they ask what you are
going to do? How do you introduce this pretty new and more or less
totally
foreign concept? Those of you who switched from homeschooling to
unschooling - how did you do it?
-=-=-=-=-
I screwed up! <g>
I couldn't let go of the schooly stuff in my head. I can better tell
you what NOT to do! <bwg>
Don't nag.
Don't ask them: "When will you ever pick up a book?"
Don't make them write synopses or draw pictures of the short story you
just read to them.
Don't pack the car and say: "Wow! See? That's geometry!"
Don't make them bake brownies and double or halve the recipe to see
whether they know how to multiply or divide fractions.
Don't let your father have them for the afternoon to "teach" them who
the Lord Proprietors were.
<g>
DO read to them or get them books on CD **if** they like that.
DO stay in your pjs , make popcorn, order pizza, and watch movies all
day **if** they like that.
DO get catalogues and ask that they circle ALL the things they think
they might like. (toys or books or games or clothes or---whatever!!)
DO buy cool new games and toys and books and clothes
and---whatever---you can afford.
DO go out to ethnic restaurants and just enjoy the food/atmosphere.DO
feed their passions, even if they are not passions you share.
If they ask, just say that the only thing you want for them is a happy,
joyful life. And since the shortest distance between two points is a
straight line (OHMYGAWD! MATH! <G>), you're going to give them a happy,
joyful childhood---starting NOW!
-=-=-=-=-
Then you start unschooling, things are starting to hum along, more or
less,
then what do you say to the question of "will we get a vacation?" I'm
sure
some of you will respond with something like "we are already on
vacation!"
But that might not go over with the kids. Do they just eventually see
that
it is life and true freedom so they won't be envious at all when they
see
their friends out of school?
-=-=-=-=-
Ask, "What kind of vacation are you thinking of?" And then do it, if
it's in the budget.
Yes, they eventually *will* see it. But maybe not before they question
it.
They may catch hell from friends who tell them they will be stupid
('cause that's what those kids hear from their parents), but as they
grow and learn, they will see a DISTINCT difference. And all the other
kids will be envying them because they're living their lives as if
school didn't exist.
-=-=-=-=-
I realize a lot of this is just that I am still trying to grasp the
concept.
And I really am intrigued and interested in the concept. Now I'm
trying to
grasp how the kids will react to unschooling. Thanks in advance for
helping
this newbie to try to see how this might work. If unschooling was your
idea
(vs. your child's), I'm interested to hear how you told them about it.
:-)
-=-=-=-=-=-
Hard to tell how the kids will react. It depends. <g>
I told Cameron up front. But because I understood the concept, but not
necessarily how to put it into action (this comes a LOT easier to
parents whose kids have never been to school or schooled-at-home!
They've been doing it all along!), it was slow going. My heart said one
thing, but my mouth said another!
Better to stop and breathe before you say a word. *Think* whether what
you say will help or hurt the siruation/relationship, then speak.
Apologize when you screw up and move on.
Deschooling should take approximately one month for each year your
child was in school or schooled-at-home.
BUT you also have to remember that *you* were also schooled. You need
to deschool too. And it will also take *you* one month for each year
you were in school! Yikes! <g>
AND---if you screw up and make him do a worksheet or read against his
will or force some math problem on him, you get to start all over again
and start your one month for each year counting again! Yech!
It took 18 months or so to deschool Cameron, who was schooled for eight
years, because I couldn't let go.
Trust your child. Respect him. Be patient! Bite your tongue. It'll be
over far faster! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
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From: Barbara Miller <BarbMiller@...>
OK, say we decide to unschool. How do you tell your kids about it?
How do
you explain that instead of doing various subjects, etc., they will be
doing
life? How do you explain in a positive way that we won't have summer
vacation? (Yes, it was me that asked about summer vacation the other
day -
my family doesn't obsess about summer - these are just the thoughts
going
through my head since summer is somewhat looked forward to).
-=-=-=-=-
As with most things. it depends. <g>
I think it depends on your kids, your relationship with your kids, the
time of year, your issues, their concerns, their friends---lots of
things.
Probably the best and safest is to just start summer vacation as usual
and simply don't stop, come September (or first of August around here!
<g>). Just keep on going as if the summer vacation never ends.
If they ask, just say that it's been going so well so far. Let's keep
going.
If they question further, you can actually use the word, unschooling,
and explain how it works. How you realize that they are natural born
learners. That they have shown you how incredibly smart and creative
and curious they are---and that you found other unschooling parents who
believe that this is the best way that people learn, and they're
willing to answer all your questions, so you have latched on to it too.
You can give them some of the books to read or find them some
unschooling e-penpals or locals to hang with or go to the Live and
Learn Unschooling Conference, held September 6-10, 2006 in Albuquerque,
NM.
You can be as natural or as "lay-it-out-for-them-in-black-and-white" as
you need to be. Depends on the kids.
-=-=-=-=
So you tell them they aren't going to be doing school anymore
(background of
dancing and cheers), but then what do you say when they ask what you are
going to do? How do you introduce this pretty new and more or less
totally
foreign concept? Those of you who switched from homeschooling to
unschooling - how did you do it?
-=-=-=-=-
I screwed up! <g>
I couldn't let go of the schooly stuff in my head. I can better tell
you what NOT to do! <bwg>
Don't nag.
Don't ask them: "When will you ever pick up a book?"
Don't make them write synopses or draw pictures of the short story you
just read to them.
Don't pack the car and say: "Wow! See? That's geometry!"
Don't make them bake brownies and double or halve the recipe to see
whether they know how to multiply or divide fractions.
Don't let your father have them for the afternoon to "teach" them who
the Lord Proprietors were.
<g>
DO read to them or get them books on CD **if** they like that.
DO stay in your pjs , make popcorn, order pizza, and watch movies all
day **if** they like that.
DO get catalogues and ask that they circle ALL the things they think
they might like. (toys or books or games or clothes or---whatever!!)
DO buy cool new games and toys and books and clothes
and---whatever---you can afford.
DO go out to ethnic restaurants and just enjoy the food/atmosphere.DO
feed their passions, even if they are not passions you share.
If they ask, just say that the only thing you want for them is a happy,
joyful life. And since the shortest distance between two points is a
straight line (OHMYGAWD! MATH! <G>), you're going to give them a happy,
joyful childhood---starting NOW!
-=-=-=-=-
Then you start unschooling, things are starting to hum along, more or
less,
then what do you say to the question of "will we get a vacation?" I'm
sure
some of you will respond with something like "we are already on
vacation!"
But that might not go over with the kids. Do they just eventually see
that
it is life and true freedom so they won't be envious at all when they
see
their friends out of school?
-=-=-=-=-
Ask, "What kind of vacation are you thinking of?" And then do it, if
it's in the budget.
Yes, they eventually *will* see it. But maybe not before they question
it.
They may catch hell from friends who tell them they will be stupid
('cause that's what those kids hear from their parents), but as they
grow and learn, they will see a DISTINCT difference. And all the other
kids will be envying them because they're living their lives as if
school didn't exist.
-=-=-=-=-
I realize a lot of this is just that I am still trying to grasp the
concept.
And I really am intrigued and interested in the concept. Now I'm
trying to
grasp how the kids will react to unschooling. Thanks in advance for
helping
this newbie to try to see how this might work. If unschooling was your
idea
(vs. your child's), I'm interested to hear how you told them about it.
:-)
-=-=-=-=-=-
Hard to tell how the kids will react. It depends. <g>
I told Cameron up front. But because I understood the concept, but not
necessarily how to put it into action (this comes a LOT easier to
parents whose kids have never been to school or schooled-at-home!
They've been doing it all along!), it was slow going. My heart said one
thing, but my mouth said another!
Better to stop and breathe before you say a word. *Think* whether what
you say will help or hurt the siruation/relationship, then speak.
Apologize when you screw up and move on.
Deschooling should take approximately one month for each year your
child was in school or schooled-at-home.
BUT you also have to remember that *you* were also schooled. You need
to deschool too. And it will also take *you* one month for each year
you were in school! Yikes! <g>
AND---if you screw up and make him do a worksheet or read against his
will or force some math problem on him, you get to start all over again
and start your one month for each year counting again! Yech!
It took 18 months or so to deschool Cameron, who was schooled for eight
years, because I couldn't let go.
Trust your child. Respect him. Be patient! Bite your tongue. It'll be
over far faster! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.