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Another post from Leslie Moyer:

It was either Barb or Sandy who first broached the topic of
"alternatives to college" and said it was something not discussed as
often. I had to laugh because it's all I hear about in unschooling
circles....i.e. "not going to college" seems almost *more* acceptable
than "going to college." Guess it's who you hang with.... :-)

I, like Joy, read and pass along to my kids John Anderson's stuff on
the
topic of college. I struggled for a long time about whether or not I
"wanted" college for my kids. I was trying to search the deep recesses
of my heart for what I truly felt about college so that I might not
pass
along my biases. (Personally, I *hated* college when I went....their
dad loved it.....my unschooling passion tells me it's worse than a
waste
of time....my fear is that it will corrupt their life-long joy of
learning....etc.) Then I remembered it wasn't my decision. :-) I did
what I could to pass along the "pros" and "cons" of college so that my
kids could--as always--have the information they needed to make their
own decisions about their lives.

My oldest (Matt) just finished his first year at a small private
college
& *loved* it. My second "child" (Sarah) is 17 and happily planning to
go to college, too. They both had/have a very strong desire to go to
college. I don't exactly know where that desire is rooted, but I do
think they see it partially as a "rite of passage". Rightly or
wrongly. I think their reasons have more to do with social stuff rather
than educational stuff, though....and, to me, neither one is more or
less important than the other. In Matt's case I think it was a
"successful" rite of passage--he has matured in ways I didn't
expect.....he made lots of friends, but they're much closer friendships
than what he has had before...his friends now have much more in common
with him than his friends in the small (conservative) town where we
live. Also, the biggest surprise is how his relationship with me has
matured.

He is enjoying the stimulating educational environment....he's had
mostly very good professors & he's excelling in his field of interest
(computer science)--setting the curve in those classes. (He also has a
second major in math....my son who doesn't have his multiplication
tables memorized and still has problems with long division <g>....and
doing terrific in his advanced math courses--a 4.0 this semester...and
he's the math club secretary & webmaster.) Matt has always been very
private about his learning & he's very intelligent. He hasn't really
had other people to talk with about his interests who could really
understand what he was talking about....no one to share his interests
with. He's finding that--and more--at college. He's benefiting from
that educationally and socially.

Perhaps my kids look to college as a rite of passage because society
doesn't value many other alternatives (though our family does) and as
homeschoolers we didn't have the usual -- "graduation"? Perhaps they
might not feel so strongly about college if I was able to show them
different rites of passage that felt like "growing up"? Just as a
personal trait, I'm not good with celebrations or traditions or other
rites of passage (I find them stifling). I think they were influenced
by their friendships, too....their friends either went to college and
enjoyed it or they didn't go and were working at jobs where they aren't
particularly happy or challenged. I don't know why they wanted to go to
college so much--I've asked and not gotten a very complex
response....perhaps they don't even know why.

Both Matt & Sarah have done a fabulous job of finding colleges that
"fit" them. (Proven true for Matt--as yet to be seen for Sarah, but
it's looking great from my perspective.) For one thing, unschooling has
allowed both of them to really *know* themselves--to know what they
want
to do with their lives. They've had a lot of time to explore their
interests & they both have a pretty good idea of how they want to spend
their young adult lives. They've been able to find colleges that can
truly support and encourage those interests, I think. In addition, they
both looked for small colleges--my bias is certainly in favor of "small
college" over "big university".

As far as the college-money issue goes, Matt is attending college on a
full scholarship--tuition, room & board--at a smallish private college.
He was offered another scholarship at a different college for full
tuition. (In that case, he competed via a project & presentation.) He
applied to quite a few colleges (a dozen?) & was offered scholarships
at
all he was accepted to--in three cases, the best scholarship they had.
(He applied to so many because he was "shopping"
scholarships--something
I'd recommend as it paid off greatly for him--scholarship offers varied
widely.) He had a very good ACT score--he studied for it using the ACT
test prep books & software--and his "extracurricular" (I use the word
tongue-in-cheek) activities (Eagle Scout, volunteer, work) rounded out
his application. I'm sure the ACT score weighed heavily....but
unschoolers *can* score well on the ACT if they prepare for it. Matt
was 100% radically unschooled....but he was highly motivated to attend
college and, therefore, highly motivated to score well on the ACT.
Basically, the same logic that allows us to accept the fact that
"unschoolers can do well in college" applies to taking the ACT, too.
Matt wanted to do well on the test so he studied for it. (As an FYI:
the ACT has only 3 questions on trigonometry....they're always the SAME
three questions....different numbers plug into them to give different
answers, but they're always the same three questions.....a test-taker
doesn't have to know trigonometry--they only have to know three
specific
equations to do well on that part of the ACT. This is the sort of thing
covered in the ACT test prep book.) He didn't study for the English
parts much--they came naturally from lots of reading.

Sarah has taken the ACT once and didn't score terribly high, but good
enough to get into the community college for concurrent enrollment for
next year (her "senior year in high school")....but not high enough to
take math classes there. But she doesn't enjoy math and it doesn't come
easily for her and she finds it difficult to study (it's "boring"). But
she's looking at colleges that value what SHE has to offer--strong
leadership skills, a fabulous & contagious attitude, a diverse array of
life experiences, and strong personal references. She's specifically
looking at colleges that don't put a strong emphasis (or in some cases,
ANY emphasis) on standardized test scores. She's also looking at a
couple of colleges that offer work programs in exchange for some of
your
tuition--greatly decreasing the cost of college. (She's off to take the
ACT for the second time tomorrow morning.) She's also hoping to work in
England from January to May & who knows how that might influence her
college plans?!

One book I'd add to the two Barb sent is "Cool Colleges: For the
Hyper-Intelligent, Self-Directed, Late Blooming, and Just Plain
Different" http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1580081509/ by Donald Asher.

I had a lot more to write but I started this early this morning and
it's
now almost midnight and I've had a long day in the interim!

--Leslie



~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
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