Answering Questions from non-unschoolers
Alice Sackman
Hi, All,
I just love this board!
Anyway, today is the last day of prison - I mean school - for the
children in my area. When the kids and I were out, someone asked them if
they were excited about summer vacation. And they just sort of stood
there kicking the dirt and finally my oldest says "We homeschool". So
then the lady turns to me and asks if we're "taking a break" for summer
and admitted that she wouldn't be able to teach her kids anything
because she would go nuts. So then I am standing there with my mouth
hanging open too and kicking the dirt trying to find a way to say "We
learn all the time and love it!" but for some reason it wouldn't come
out of my mouth. I think I ended up saying something to the effect that
"no, we don't take a break" and that I consider myself a facilitator,
not a teacher.
This is the third time this has happened to me in the past 2 weeks and I
think I need to rehearse some joyfully delivered answers. Certainly the
foot in my mouth is not cutting it! There are lots of school-at-homers
in my neck of the woods, so most of the people who have asked me about
it are not negative about homeschooling itself per se. But they do
assume we do school work at home and stay on a school schedule, etc.
Some of these people homeschool themselves and others don't. I feel
like I should at least plant a seed in their mind but I never know where
to begin. The questions come from a worldview that is so total alien to
our reality that I don't even know how to begin to answer. And I guess
I am afraid of saying too much and freaking them out. I've noticed that
I never ever say the word "unschool" in front of anyone except other
unschoolers.
Any suggestions? Or advice for a newbie?
-Alice
(who is joyfully celebrating her family's one year anniversary of
freedom from school- Yeehaw!)
I just love this board!
Anyway, today is the last day of prison - I mean school - for the
children in my area. When the kids and I were out, someone asked them if
they were excited about summer vacation. And they just sort of stood
there kicking the dirt and finally my oldest says "We homeschool". So
then the lady turns to me and asks if we're "taking a break" for summer
and admitted that she wouldn't be able to teach her kids anything
because she would go nuts. So then I am standing there with my mouth
hanging open too and kicking the dirt trying to find a way to say "We
learn all the time and love it!" but for some reason it wouldn't come
out of my mouth. I think I ended up saying something to the effect that
"no, we don't take a break" and that I consider myself a facilitator,
not a teacher.
This is the third time this has happened to me in the past 2 weeks and I
think I need to rehearse some joyfully delivered answers. Certainly the
foot in my mouth is not cutting it! There are lots of school-at-homers
in my neck of the woods, so most of the people who have asked me about
it are not negative about homeschooling itself per se. But they do
assume we do school work at home and stay on a school schedule, etc.
Some of these people homeschool themselves and others don't. I feel
like I should at least plant a seed in their mind but I never know where
to begin. The questions come from a worldview that is so total alien to
our reality that I don't even know how to begin to answer. And I guess
I am afraid of saying too much and freaking them out. I've noticed that
I never ever say the word "unschool" in front of anyone except other
unschoolers.
Any suggestions? Or advice for a newbie?
-Alice
(who is joyfully celebrating her family's one year anniversary of
freedom from school- Yeehaw!)
Pamela Sorooshian
On Jun 8, 2006, at 6:06 PM, Alice Sackman wrote:
getting kids to do school homework - we do stuff the kids think is
really fun and interesting."
Then I let it go, unless they pursue it.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> SoI smile and say, "Oh, you'd be surprised. It is a LOT different than
> then the lady turns to me and asks if we're "taking a break" for
> summer
> and admitted that she wouldn't be able to teach her kids anything
> because she would go nuts.
getting kids to do school homework - we do stuff the kids think is
really fun and interesting."
Then I let it go, unless they pursue it.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Alice Sackman <thesackmans@...>
Any suggestions? Or advice for a newbie?
=-=-=-=-
I feel compelled to let people know unschooling exists! <G>
I'm the unofficial unschooling evangelist!
I say, " We unschool. It's a form of homeschooling. But it doesn't look
*any*thing like school!
"I brought them out of school because I think school is emotionally,
spiritually, and educationally damaging to children. Why would I want
to do that at home? " with a smile! <g>
"My children still *love* to learn. That's very important to me---to
keep that love of learning alive."
If they say, "I could never do that!"--- I say, "You're right!"
Or "My kids would drive me crazy!" ---I say, "I'm sorry to hear that. I
love to spend time with my boys: they're soooo interesting!" and I give
a list of things they're doing.
"Unschooling is about delving to passions---that's the only way to
learn!"
Always with a big smile! <bwg>
i think I scare people <BWG>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
From: Alice Sackman <thesackmans@...>
Any suggestions? Or advice for a newbie?
=-=-=-=-
I feel compelled to let people know unschooling exists! <G>
I'm the unofficial unschooling evangelist!
I say, " We unschool. It's a form of homeschooling. But it doesn't look
*any*thing like school!
"I brought them out of school because I think school is emotionally,
spiritually, and educationally damaging to children. Why would I want
to do that at home? " with a smile! <g>
"My children still *love* to learn. That's very important to me---to
keep that love of learning alive."
If they say, "I could never do that!"--- I say, "You're right!"
Or "My kids would drive me crazy!" ---I say, "I'm sorry to hear that. I
love to spend time with my boys: they're soooo interesting!" and I give
a list of things they're doing.
"Unschooling is about delving to passions---that's the only way to
learn!"
Always with a big smile! <bwg>
i think I scare people <BWG>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
jlh44music
> Any suggestions? Or advice for a newbie?>>We're new too (well, dd has been out of prison for a year now!).
My standard answer when people ask (those who are just making
conversation and don't really care one way or the other) to "so,
how's homeschooling going?" - I say "Great!". The other comment
that drives me nuts is "so, that must be really HARD for YOU!" and,
depending on my mood, I'll say, "not really" or "WHAT'S hard?
(playing dumb)". Generally I just keep it simple, I'm not good at
spouting off yet about what unschooling is (like Kelly! and I don't
think you're scary at all!), and to be honest, most people don't
really care (or my friends who teach in schools would give me a
blank look because they're so brainwashed). They
think "homeschooling" is radical enough.
My favorite is "it's GREAT that she can learn at her own pace!" - no
need to go into details as far as I'm concerned (and I like it that
way most of the time!).
Jann
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 6/8/06, Alice Sackman <thesackmans@...> wrote:
with my kids *all* day!" I usually reply, "I wouldn't want to be
anywhere else! I love my kids and love spending time with them and
sharing in their passions and exploration of the world." I truly do
not understand why people have children if they are going to put them
in day care starting at 6 weeks, have them in preschool, at school all
day and then at after school care until 6pm and then to babysitters
and pawning them off to "extracurricular activities" all weekend. Why
have kids if you can only stand to interact with them for 2 or 3 hours
a day???
When asked if we are going to take a break I usually respond with,
"How do you keep a child from learning?" or "Take a break from what?
We are learning all the time!" Of course for the uninitiated they
probably think that I have my kids at the table every day with tons of
workbooks and science fair experiments and going through volumes of
spelling words. They probably think, "Poor homeschooled kids. They
just never get a break!" While my kids and I are thinking, "Poor
schooled kids. They just never will understand what joy we find in all
this learning!" :-D
I find that smiling and talking enthusiastically about all we do is
the best way to counter any questions. It's sort of like what we tell
new nursing moms whose "well-meaning family" says, "So is he sleeping
through the night?" You just smile and say, "Oh he sleeps like an
angel and we are sleeping just fine. How kind of you to be
concerned!"
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
>I get this too. Or the comment that goes, "I couldn't stand to be
> Hi, All,
> I just love this board!
>
> Anyway, today is the last day of prison - I mean school - for the
> children in my area. When the kids and I were out, someone asked them if
> they were excited about summer vacation. And they just sort of stood
> there kicking the dirt and finally my oldest says "We homeschool". So
> then the lady turns to me and asks if we're "taking a break" for summer
> and admitted that she wouldn't be able to teach her kids anything
> because she would go nuts.
with my kids *all* day!" I usually reply, "I wouldn't want to be
anywhere else! I love my kids and love spending time with them and
sharing in their passions and exploration of the world." I truly do
not understand why people have children if they are going to put them
in day care starting at 6 weeks, have them in preschool, at school all
day and then at after school care until 6pm and then to babysitters
and pawning them off to "extracurricular activities" all weekend. Why
have kids if you can only stand to interact with them for 2 or 3 hours
a day???
When asked if we are going to take a break I usually respond with,
"How do you keep a child from learning?" or "Take a break from what?
We are learning all the time!" Of course for the uninitiated they
probably think that I have my kids at the table every day with tons of
workbooks and science fair experiments and going through volumes of
spelling words. They probably think, "Poor homeschooled kids. They
just never get a break!" While my kids and I are thinking, "Poor
schooled kids. They just never will understand what joy we find in all
this learning!" :-D
I find that smiling and talking enthusiastically about all we do is
the best way to counter any questions. It's sort of like what we tell
new nursing moms whose "well-meaning family" says, "So is he sleeping
through the night?" You just smile and say, "Oh he sleeps like an
angel and we are sleeping just fine. How kind of you to be
concerned!"
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 6/8/06, kbcdlovejo@... <kbcdlovejo@...> wrote:
and I are talking about unschooling we sound like we are talking about
some new religion. Although Emily wanted to know if it could be
called something else, because she is tired of being a UUU
(Unschooling Unitarian Universalist). :)
Keep on preaching, Rev. Kelly!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
>This just makes me laugh, Kelly! My kids say that sometimes when Dan
> I'm the unofficial unschooling evangelist!
>
> I say, " We unschool. It's a form of homeschooling. But it doesn't look
> *any*thing like school!
>
> "I brought them out of school because I think school is emotionally,
> spiritually, and educationally damaging to children. Why would I want
> to do that at home? " with a smile! <g>
>
and I are talking about unschooling we sound like we are talking about
some new religion. Although Emily wanted to know if it could be
called something else, because she is tired of being a UUU
(Unschooling Unitarian Universalist). :)
Keep on preaching, Rev. Kelly!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[email protected] - Homeschooling for the Medieval Recreationist
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle/Melbrigða <pamperedmichelle@...>
This just makes me laugh, Kelly! My kids say that sometimes when Dan
and I are talking about unschooling we sound like we are talking about
some new religion. Although Emily wanted to know if it could be
called something else, because she is tired of being a UUU
(Unschooling Unitarian Universalist). :)
Keep on preaching, Rev. Kelly!
-=-=-=-
Ummm....didn't you know about the Church of John Holt?
The Teenage Liberation Handbook is our bible. Well, it might've just
been edged out by Parenting a Free Child, An Unschooled Life, by Rue
Kream. <g>
We "Thank Dodd" every day!
We look for guidance from Saint AnneO.
We wear bracelets engraved with WWJD---What Would Joyce Do?
We attend religiously the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference.
Hell, we've even been scandalized! Ren appeared in PEOPLE
MAGAZINE---she's FAMOUS!
If I don't get struck by lightning *this* time,..... <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
From: Michelle/Melbrigða <pamperedmichelle@...>
This just makes me laugh, Kelly! My kids say that sometimes when Dan
and I are talking about unschooling we sound like we are talking about
some new religion. Although Emily wanted to know if it could be
called something else, because she is tired of being a UUU
(Unschooling Unitarian Universalist). :)
Keep on preaching, Rev. Kelly!
-=-=-=-
Ummm....didn't you know about the Church of John Holt?
The Teenage Liberation Handbook is our bible. Well, it might've just
been edged out by Parenting a Free Child, An Unschooled Life, by Rue
Kream. <g>
We "Thank Dodd" every day!
We look for guidance from Saint AnneO.
We wear bracelets engraved with WWJD---What Would Joyce Do?
We attend religiously the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference.
Hell, we've even been scandalized! Ren appeared in PEOPLE
MAGAZINE---she's FAMOUS!
If I don't get struck by lightning *this* time,..... <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
________________________________________________________________________
Check out AOL.com today. Breaking news, video search, pictures, email
and IM. All on demand. Always Free.
jlh44music
> Keep on preaching, Rev. Kelly!just been edged out by Parenting a Free Child, An Unschooled Life, by
> -=-=-=-
> Ummm....didn't you know about the Church of John Holt?
> The Teenage Liberation Handbook is our bible. Well, it might've
Rue Kream. <g>
> We "Thank Dodd" every day!MAGAZINE---she's FAMOUS!
> We look for guidance from Saint AnneO.
> We wear bracelets engraved with WWJD---What Would Joyce Do?
> We attend religiously the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference.
> Hell, we've even been scandalized! Ren appeared in PEOPLE
> If I don't get struck by lightning *this* time,..... <g>I love this Kelly!
Jann
Alice Sackman
Kelly wrote:
I feel compelled to let people know unschooling exists! <G>
I'm the unofficial unschooling evangelist!
I say, " We unschool. It's a form of homeschooling. But it doesn't look
*any*thing like school!
***Thanks all for those great responses. I have been practicing my
comebacks all day - I think I just need to be ready for the question any
time, anywhere. As it is, they seem to catch me off guard and then I
stand there like an idiot. I want to be an unofficial unschooling
evangelist too! Maybe if I make it down to Albuquerque, we can have an
unofficial unschooling evangelizing practice run on each other.
The comments about not wanting to be with one's kids is really very
sad. But I was thinking, most of these parents are coming from the
viewpoint that they will have to teach their kids boring stuff and
"make" them do it - all day, 5 days a week. I would hate that too!
What a way to ruin a relationship and suck the joy right out of life.
-Alice
PS: Congratulations, Jann! I am over here doing a little happy dance
for you and I and our one year of freedom!
I feel compelled to let people know unschooling exists! <G>
I'm the unofficial unschooling evangelist!
I say, " We unschool. It's a form of homeschooling. But it doesn't look
*any*thing like school!
***Thanks all for those great responses. I have been practicing my
comebacks all day - I think I just need to be ready for the question any
time, anywhere. As it is, they seem to catch me off guard and then I
stand there like an idiot. I want to be an unofficial unschooling
evangelist too! Maybe if I make it down to Albuquerque, we can have an
unofficial unschooling evangelizing practice run on each other.
The comments about not wanting to be with one's kids is really very
sad. But I was thinking, most of these parents are coming from the
viewpoint that they will have to teach their kids boring stuff and
"make" them do it - all day, 5 days a week. I would hate that too!
What a way to ruin a relationship and suck the joy right out of life.
-Alice
PS: Congratulations, Jann! I am over here doing a little happy dance
for you and I and our one year of freedom!
jlh44music
> PS: Congratulations, Jann! I am over here doing a little happydance for you and I and our one year of freedom!>
Thanks Alice! Right back atcha!
Jann
dana_burdick
If they say, "I could never do that!"--- I say, "You're right!"
I also say this with some explanation; "You're right, if you think
that you would be duplicating school at home. It's really not
necessary though, because school's structure must be scaled to handle
20 to 30 kids in a classroom. You know how much a child can learn
with an individual tutor, right? So, our learning is understandably
not structured after a classroom environment. The learning happens in
many bits and pieces throughout the day. I find that just being with
the children and just talking lots about what's on everybody's mind is
where the real value and joy is found."
Invariably, I get a knowing nod from the person I'm with. From the
responses I get from most people, I believe that they feel that they
have a better understanding of how learning can happen outside of
school without the burden of setting up a miniature classroom (I
realize that this is a drop in the bucket to understanding what we do,
but hey, you got to start somewheres). I also hope to leave them with
a nugget of hope that they too, could homeschool their children. I
think when I include the word joy in there, this kind of throws folks
a bit. I'd venture that they are thinking, "Learning is work. Where
is this joy thing coming from?" But, I also think that this is
somewhat compelling to them. Sometimes they will enquire more about
what we do if they get enough warm fuzzies and don't feel threatened.
The wording in my response is always somewhat different, of course. I
am now trying to be careful not to use the word teach and rephrase
things to utilize the word learner as much as possible. I'm hoping,
by using unschoolish wording without calling out unschooling directly,
that the person can experience the shift in thinking while not feeling
alienated.
Any response is colored by the other person's openness though.
Sometimes, I just change the subject. I admit, other times I am not
in a good enough mood to be patient and am more direct or even
impish. When I am patient though, it is interesting seeing a glimmer
of understanding in people's eyes, especially when I take the time to
build a bridge from their view of the world to an unschooling world.
-Dana
I also say this with some explanation; "You're right, if you think
that you would be duplicating school at home. It's really not
necessary though, because school's structure must be scaled to handle
20 to 30 kids in a classroom. You know how much a child can learn
with an individual tutor, right? So, our learning is understandably
not structured after a classroom environment. The learning happens in
many bits and pieces throughout the day. I find that just being with
the children and just talking lots about what's on everybody's mind is
where the real value and joy is found."
Invariably, I get a knowing nod from the person I'm with. From the
responses I get from most people, I believe that they feel that they
have a better understanding of how learning can happen outside of
school without the burden of setting up a miniature classroom (I
realize that this is a drop in the bucket to understanding what we do,
but hey, you got to start somewheres). I also hope to leave them with
a nugget of hope that they too, could homeschool their children. I
think when I include the word joy in there, this kind of throws folks
a bit. I'd venture that they are thinking, "Learning is work. Where
is this joy thing coming from?" But, I also think that this is
somewhat compelling to them. Sometimes they will enquire more about
what we do if they get enough warm fuzzies and don't feel threatened.
The wording in my response is always somewhat different, of course. I
am now trying to be careful not to use the word teach and rephrase
things to utilize the word learner as much as possible. I'm hoping,
by using unschoolish wording without calling out unschooling directly,
that the person can experience the shift in thinking while not feeling
alienated.
Any response is colored by the other person's openness though.
Sometimes, I just change the subject. I admit, other times I am not
in a good enough mood to be patient and am more direct or even
impish. When I am patient though, it is interesting seeing a glimmer
of understanding in people's eyes, especially when I take the time to
build a bridge from their view of the world to an unschooling world.
-Dana