Words to use when making amends
freepsgal
I'm starting a new note rather than responding to anyone. I just
want to say that you people are deep!! *laugh* One of the issues
I'm still working through in my life is that I feel less intelligent
than most people I come across. I know it's a perception but this
thread is just another of the many examples that I come across in my
life that leave my head spinning. I can't fathom a 2 year old being
able to cogitate the meaning of one small 3-letter word in such a
deeply disturbing way. I'm absolutely floored at the way this word
is being perceived and I'm truly frightened to ever use it again.
And if most people truly think like that, then no wonder I feel so
dumb most of the time and have few friends. I really love
unschooling and honoring my children for who they are, but it's
times like these that make me want to go back to a traditional
homeschooling method because my children would be instructed by
something else other than me. I really hate the idea that I may
have caused my children pain by my not understanding how to
communicate more effectively.
It's not that I don't want to learn. It's just that I feel
extremely overwhelmed. A couple of years ago, this type of thread
would have had me in tears and I would have left the group in a
huff. Yes, I've BTDT. But now I recognize that this is a challenge
for improvement within myself, yet I'm feeling more dumb the more I
think about this. *chuckle*
Beth M.
want to say that you people are deep!! *laugh* One of the issues
I'm still working through in my life is that I feel less intelligent
than most people I come across. I know it's a perception but this
thread is just another of the many examples that I come across in my
life that leave my head spinning. I can't fathom a 2 year old being
able to cogitate the meaning of one small 3-letter word in such a
deeply disturbing way. I'm absolutely floored at the way this word
is being perceived and I'm truly frightened to ever use it again.
And if most people truly think like that, then no wonder I feel so
dumb most of the time and have few friends. I really love
unschooling and honoring my children for who they are, but it's
times like these that make me want to go back to a traditional
homeschooling method because my children would be instructed by
something else other than me. I really hate the idea that I may
have caused my children pain by my not understanding how to
communicate more effectively.
It's not that I don't want to learn. It's just that I feel
extremely overwhelmed. A couple of years ago, this type of thread
would have had me in tears and I would have left the group in a
huff. Yes, I've BTDT. But now I recognize that this is a challenge
for improvement within myself, yet I'm feeling more dumb the more I
think about this. *chuckle*
Beth M.
April Morris
Don't worry, Beth. I'm with you on this one! *But*, I don't consider it a
matter of intelligence or lack of ability, just a difference in personality
and interests. My husband and oldest daughter can get into these kinds of
discussions about words (or philosophy or religion) and thrive on it....me?
I just shake my head and let them have their fun. It's not my idea of fun
and that's OK. I've learned to engage in some dialog with them along this
line because it's important to them, but mostly, they find other
like-minded people to carry on with. I would never minimize or devalue what
they do and like and I respect their ability to discuss such things.
However, I have other strengths and abilities that they find equally
unfathomable. (I can sense someones moods and emotions and can 'read' people
well, something they just can't do). Different kinds of intelligences. It's
what makes this world so grand to be in. And it's what makes my life never
dull!!
--
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-17, Karl-15, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.reachhomeschool.com
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
matter of intelligence or lack of ability, just a difference in personality
and interests. My husband and oldest daughter can get into these kinds of
discussions about words (or philosophy or religion) and thrive on it....me?
I just shake my head and let them have their fun. It's not my idea of fun
and that's OK. I've learned to engage in some dialog with them along this
line because it's important to them, but mostly, they find other
like-minded people to carry on with. I would never minimize or devalue what
they do and like and I respect their ability to discuss such things.
However, I have other strengths and abilities that they find equally
unfathomable. (I can sense someones moods and emotions and can 'read' people
well, something they just can't do). Different kinds of intelligences. It's
what makes this world so grand to be in. And it's what makes my life never
dull!!
--
~April
Mom to Kate-19, Lisa-17, Karl-15, & Ben-10.
*REACH Homeschool Grp, an inclusive group in Oakland County
http://www.reachhomeschool.com
* Michigan Unschoolers
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/michigan_unschoolers/
*Check out Chuck's art www.artkunst23.com
"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
Gandalf the Grey
On 6/4/06, freepsgal <freepsgal@...> wrote:
>
> I'm starting a new note rather than responding to anyone. I just
> want to say that you people are deep!! *laugh* One of the issues
> I'm still working through in my life is that I feel less intelligent
> than most people I come across. I know it's a perception but this
> thread is just another of the many examples that I come across in my
> life that leave my head spinning. I can't fathom a 2 year old being
> able to cogitate the meaning of one small 3-letter word in such a
> deeply disturbing way. I'm absolutely floored at the way this word
> is being perceived and I'm truly frightened to ever use it again.
> And if most people truly think like that, then no wonder I feel so
> dumb most of the time and have few friends. I really love
> unschooling and honoring my children for who they are, but it's
> times like these that make me want to go back to a traditional
> homeschooling method because my children would be instructed by
> something else other than me. I really hate the idea that I may
> have caused my children pain by my not understanding how to
> communicate more effectively.
>
> It's not that I don't want to learn. It's just that I feel
> extremely overwhelmed. A couple of years ago, this type of thread
> would have had me in tears and I would have left the group in a
> huff. Yes, I've BTDT. But now I recognize that this is a challenge
> for improvement within myself, yet I'm feeling more dumb the more I
> think about this. *chuckle*
>
> Beth M.
>
>
>
>
>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: freepsgal <freepsgal@...>
I'm starting a new note rather than responding to anyone. I just
want to say that you people are deep!!
-=-=-=-
These lists have been accused of that before! <G>
But I think that that's a big part of unschooling---we question.
Everything.
-=-==-
One of the issues
I'm still working through in my life is that I feel less intelligent
than most people I come across.
-=-=-=-
I don't feel that I'm *less* intelligent than most people I come
across. I do know, though, that the people I tend to hang out with, the
ones I put effort into getting to know better and spend time
with---those people are almost always more intelligent than I am. It's
just more fun to be around smart people! They keep me hoppin'! <g> and
thinkin'! I just prefer their company (and y'all know who you are!
<bwg>)
-=-=-=-=-
I know it's a perception but this
thread is just another of the many examples that I come across in my
life that leave my head spinning. I can't fathom a 2 year old being
able to cogitate the meaning of one small 3-letter word in such a
deeply disturbing way. I'm absolutely floored at the way this word
is being perceived and I'm truly frightened to ever use it again.
-=-=-=-=-
I think it's good to think at the lowest common denominator AND the
highest at the same time. You can never be 100% positive the other
person is getting it at the same level *you* are---no matter what you
say. A two year old could understand *deeply*---OR it could go right
over his head. Same for a 46 year old too! <G>
-=-=-=--=
And if most people truly think like that, then no wonder I feel so
dumb most of the time and have few friends.
=-=-=-=-
I certainly don't think *most* people think that way. Not by a long
shot. If so, we unschoolers wouldn't be in the minority! <bwg>
-=-=-=-=-=
I really love
unschooling and honoring my children for who they are, but it's
times like these that make me want to go back to a traditional
homeschooling method because my children would be instructed by
something else other than me. I really hate the idea that I may
have caused my children pain by my not understanding how to
communicate more effectively.
-=-=-=-=-
And you think *our* kids haven't felt pain due to our mistakes? We
apologize. We learn from them. We try to do better the next time. We DO
better the next time.
We're all learning. Some learn faster than others. Some get it even
before having children (amazing! <g>). Others of us follow the crowd
for years before finding a new path. It's different for each of us. But
none of us were raised with this philosophy: we all had to figure it
out ourselves.
Patience. <g>
-=-=-=-
It's not that I don't want to learn. It's just that I feel
extremely overwhelmed.
-=-=-=-
I understand. But it really gets easier each time you make the effort.
Each time you break through!
-=-=-=-=-
A couple of years ago, this type of thread
would have had me in tears and I would have left the group in a
huff. Yes, I've BTDT.
-=-=-=-=--
Yes, but see how far you've come already????? <bwg>
-=-=-=-=-
But now I recognize that this is a challenge
for improvement within myself, yet I'm feeling more dumb the more I
think about this. *chuckle*
-=-=-=-=-
How 'bout feeling that you've come a long way? That you're making the
changes you want to see? That you've achieved a lot already and that
you only want MORE of the same?
A lot of this unschooling stuff is about perception. About looking at
things in a *very* different way. About changing the way we act and
react.
It's not easy! But the harder you *think* about it and work to make
those changes, the easier it gets.
Promise! <bwg>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
From: freepsgal <freepsgal@...>
I'm starting a new note rather than responding to anyone. I just
want to say that you people are deep!!
-=-=-=-
These lists have been accused of that before! <G>
But I think that that's a big part of unschooling---we question.
Everything.
-=-==-
One of the issues
I'm still working through in my life is that I feel less intelligent
than most people I come across.
-=-=-=-
I don't feel that I'm *less* intelligent than most people I come
across. I do know, though, that the people I tend to hang out with, the
ones I put effort into getting to know better and spend time
with---those people are almost always more intelligent than I am. It's
just more fun to be around smart people! They keep me hoppin'! <g> and
thinkin'! I just prefer their company (and y'all know who you are!
<bwg>)
-=-=-=-=-
I know it's a perception but this
thread is just another of the many examples that I come across in my
life that leave my head spinning. I can't fathom a 2 year old being
able to cogitate the meaning of one small 3-letter word in such a
deeply disturbing way. I'm absolutely floored at the way this word
is being perceived and I'm truly frightened to ever use it again.
-=-=-=-=-
I think it's good to think at the lowest common denominator AND the
highest at the same time. You can never be 100% positive the other
person is getting it at the same level *you* are---no matter what you
say. A two year old could understand *deeply*---OR it could go right
over his head. Same for a 46 year old too! <G>
-=-=-=--=
And if most people truly think like that, then no wonder I feel so
dumb most of the time and have few friends.
=-=-=-=-
I certainly don't think *most* people think that way. Not by a long
shot. If so, we unschoolers wouldn't be in the minority! <bwg>
-=-=-=-=-=
I really love
unschooling and honoring my children for who they are, but it's
times like these that make me want to go back to a traditional
homeschooling method because my children would be instructed by
something else other than me. I really hate the idea that I may
have caused my children pain by my not understanding how to
communicate more effectively.
-=-=-=-=-
And you think *our* kids haven't felt pain due to our mistakes? We
apologize. We learn from them. We try to do better the next time. We DO
better the next time.
We're all learning. Some learn faster than others. Some get it even
before having children (amazing! <g>). Others of us follow the crowd
for years before finding a new path. It's different for each of us. But
none of us were raised with this philosophy: we all had to figure it
out ourselves.
Patience. <g>
-=-=-=-
It's not that I don't want to learn. It's just that I feel
extremely overwhelmed.
-=-=-=-
I understand. But it really gets easier each time you make the effort.
Each time you break through!
-=-=-=-=-
A couple of years ago, this type of thread
would have had me in tears and I would have left the group in a
huff. Yes, I've BTDT.
-=-=-=-=--
Yes, but see how far you've come already????? <bwg>
-=-=-=-=-
But now I recognize that this is a challenge
for improvement within myself, yet I'm feeling more dumb the more I
think about this. *chuckle*
-=-=-=-=-
How 'bout feeling that you've come a long way? That you're making the
changes you want to see? That you've achieved a lot already and that
you only want MORE of the same?
A lot of this unschooling stuff is about perception. About looking at
things in a *very* different way. About changing the way we act and
react.
It's not easy! But the harder you *think* about it and work to make
those changes, the easier it gets.
Promise! <bwg>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
Deb Lewis
***I can't fathom a 2 year old being
able to cogitate the meaning of one small 3-letter word in such a
deeply disturbing way. ***
It's that people learn quickly how to make excuses. "I hurt you but you
had it coming." in it's various forms is what most kids hear from their
parents. "(fill in blank) ...but I told you to be careful," or "(fill
in blank)... but you didn't listen."
***I'm absolutely floored at the way this word
is being perceived and I'm truly frightened to ever use it again.***
It's something to think about but not a thing to strike terror into your
heart. <g>
***I really hate the idea that I may
have caused my children pain by my not understanding how to
communicate more effectively. ***
We've all said things that hurt our kids. We don't have to keep saying
it once we know it can hurt. It's better to figure it out sooner rather
than later. If your partner accidentally smacked you and then said
"I'm sorry I hit you but you shouldn't have been in my way" It probably
wouldn't make you feel like that person was really sorry. : (
***I feel less intelligent than most people I come across. ***
That's rough. Have you thought about counseling? Life is bumpy enough
without you building your own obstacles. <g> Being kinder to yourself and
feeling more confident will benefit your kids, too.
Deb Lewis
able to cogitate the meaning of one small 3-letter word in such a
deeply disturbing way. ***
It's that people learn quickly how to make excuses. "I hurt you but you
had it coming." in it's various forms is what most kids hear from their
parents. "(fill in blank) ...but I told you to be careful," or "(fill
in blank)... but you didn't listen."
***I'm absolutely floored at the way this word
is being perceived and I'm truly frightened to ever use it again.***
It's something to think about but not a thing to strike terror into your
heart. <g>
***I really hate the idea that I may
have caused my children pain by my not understanding how to
communicate more effectively. ***
We've all said things that hurt our kids. We don't have to keep saying
it once we know it can hurt. It's better to figure it out sooner rather
than later. If your partner accidentally smacked you and then said
"I'm sorry I hit you but you shouldn't have been in my way" It probably
wouldn't make you feel like that person was really sorry. : (
***I feel less intelligent than most people I come across. ***
That's rough. Have you thought about counseling? Life is bumpy enough
without you building your own obstacles. <g> Being kinder to yourself and
feeling more confident will benefit your kids, too.
Deb Lewis