[email protected]

Janice,

Our children can be shy at times also. The oldest has been unschooling since
99 and now feels his most comfortable around unschoolers (his comment from
yesterday) but does have several schooled friends. I don't think he was shy as
a small child but school definitely sucked his confidence. It took a few
years for him to feel he could be who he was but now he's in his own place. All
four prefer being home. I do also.

I've begun several emails but if I didn't post it I wanted to speak about
introverted (shy) children at the conference but missed my opportunity. We
have experienced this off and on over the last few years. My little guys have
been called whinny,clingy, brats and we've even needed to back out of events. I
do try not to say that Nicholas or Cameron or even Cassidy are shy but far
to often people get in their face and then are quick to say they are whinny.
Irks the heck out of me bc I have never stated a child is anything but a child
growing and learning.

In our case I suspect genetics but the right experiences are helping a lot.
We have four children so when we go we go as a family and if we meet people
great but were not locked into having to interact. I've heard parents say that
shy kids are that way bc they don't get out enough or they should attend
weekly play groups. IMO that's not the case or solution and the kids are then
even more aware and stressed over their shyness.

I would say unschooling would be the greatest option for your family.
Unschooling is more than no curriculum. Well, we radically unschool so I'll stay
with that.. As radical unschoolers we respect our children for who they are
rather then requiring them to fit into some mold of what they or homeschooling
looks like. They may be shy or hyper or reactive but we don't hobble around on
that label we work with what we have and make the best of every day and
moment.

My advice would be to trust your instincts. Don't feel committed to
anyone/anything but your children/family and work with what you have. It will change,
it will lesson as they get older. Being a parent of children who tend to be
shy I know it at times can be challenging. My daughter went in and out of
stages of that this weekend. Sunday (after we talked and played till 3am) she
was not interested in anything or anyone. She needed sleep and I tried to work
that into my want to hear the end of the conference. She may have even fed off
of my own stress levels, I know she did the timing was right on. They did
all want to go but one opted to go home with daddy after a day and the other
went excited to see daddy. It was an hour drive to come back and we are tight
on funds but he wasn't happy so we worked with what we had and home was it
for them.. Unschoolers could understand why we spent 40 dollars to drive down
and back while we had a hotel room paid for. We could have left them at home
knowing that there may have been a want to go home but they wanted to attend
and they did. Their happy with the time they had and got the best of both
worlds being able to choose to go and stay and then go in the end.

Laura
UnschoolingMaine.com

<<Subject: Intro and Peabody conference and questions


Hi Everyone,

My name is Janice and I am the wife of Glen, and the mother of 4
boys: Paul- 14.5, Shawn-12, Eric-9, Collin-8(in 2 wks), and Joshua-6
(in 2 wks).

We recently attended the Peabody Unschooling Conference to try to
help us decide whether or not the unschooling life was really what
we were after or not. The conference made reference to this web
group, so here I am. We have been homeschooling for 5 years now and
this past year have tentatively been trying out the unschooling
lifestyle. I have known about unschooling since the start of our
homeschooling journey and have always been intrigued by it, but was
somewhat hesitant to try it. All of my children are VERY
introverted. They would prefer to never leave the confines of our
home for any reason, and this makes me somewhat shy of unschooling.
They have NO friends whatsoever. Even at the conference, they spent
as much time as they possibly could hiding in our hotel room.

Could someone please convince me that this will work for our family?

Also, my husband is still on the fence about even traditional
homeschooling methods and this makes him even more nervous. He has
agreed to "go with the flow" for now, but both of us need
reassurance about this lifestyle. Just for information purposes,
one of the things that makes us the most hesitant is in regards to
reading - my 3 youngest still do not read AT ALL, and my 12 yr old
can read (but probably not at what most would consider "grade
level") but hates to read for any reason.

Any insights would be appreciated.

Janice W.
Leicester, MA






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