Ok, now what???
Tonya Matthews
Hi All,
Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
them, most days.
Ok, back to the story, so I ask him what he'd like to do about that
group come this September (my husband and I are offering a History
course).
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
I'm asking you all... What now??
I couldn't be more confused,
Tonya
Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
them, most days.
Ok, back to the story, so I ask him what he'd like to do about that
group come this September (my husband and I are offering a History
course).
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
I'm asking you all... What now??
I couldn't be more confused,
Tonya
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 6/1/06, Tonya Matthews <godzilla.matthews@...> wrote:
another schooling environment. We belong to a small "co-op" but have
strived to keep it very "funshop" oriented rather than schoolish. The
classes that were a hit were those that were active, engaging and
unstructured (namely dulcimer and drama - which was more like a "Whose Line
is it Anyway" than actual drama class! LOL!) There was a "science class"
for a while, but the kids quickly bored with it as the lady who was teaching
it presented it very much like if she were in a classroom. Lot's of fairly
useless information with lots of facts and figures and memorization. :( We
also have a room where the kids can just hang out. We call it the lounge.
They can go there and draw, read, bounce balls, play foosball, chat, and
chill. Is there such an offering at this group and is your son really
allowed to not participate? Do you have a cell phone so that if he did stay
home you were an easy reach? What do you fear would happen if he did stay
home? That was something I had to come to terms with when I first started
letting my kids stay home alone. So we set some ground rules at first like
"no cooking on the stove or in the oven - microwave is fine" and "no going
outside when I'm not home." Now that they are older those rules have sort
of gone away as they can safely cook on the stove and in the oven and going
outside isn't such a big deal.
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
that learning is equated to schoolwork, essays, tests, and project
deadlines. Tell him he is "deschooling" and that learning doesn't have to
come from a book. Give him the time to get over learning=schooling. Tell
him that he doesn't need to "do" stuff just because the kids at school are.
And let him see what he has learned without the aide of schoolish things.
Did he attend any of the sessions at the convention?
but he's asked me for more
direction of interest? Maybe he needs to see YOU engaged in your
activities. Tell him that you are on summer vacation and starting living
joyfully!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>this sounds very schoolish. He's going from a schooling environment to
> Hi All,
>
> Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
> Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
> with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
> about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
> learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
> we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
> day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
> that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
> record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
> little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
> enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
> liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
> them, most days.
another schooling environment. We belong to a small "co-op" but have
strived to keep it very "funshop" oriented rather than schoolish. The
classes that were a hit were those that were active, engaging and
unstructured (namely dulcimer and drama - which was more like a "Whose Line
is it Anyway" than actual drama class! LOL!) There was a "science class"
for a while, but the kids quickly bored with it as the lady who was teaching
it presented it very much like if she were in a classroom. Lot's of fairly
useless information with lots of facts and figures and memorization. :( We
also have a room where the kids can just hang out. We call it the lounge.
They can go there and draw, read, bounce balls, play foosball, chat, and
chill. Is there such an offering at this group and is your son really
allowed to not participate? Do you have a cell phone so that if he did stay
home you were an easy reach? What do you fear would happen if he did stay
home? That was something I had to come to terms with when I first started
letting my kids stay home alone. So we set some ground rules at first like
"no cooking on the stove or in the oven - microwave is fine" and "no going
outside when I'm not home." Now that they are older those rules have sort
of gone away as they can safely cook on the stove and in the oven and going
outside isn't such a big deal.
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
> school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need moreThat's because he percieves (thanks to his years of being "in the system")
> structure and you need to be firmer with me"
that learning is equated to schoolwork, essays, tests, and project
deadlines. Tell him he is "deschooling" and that learning doesn't have to
come from a book. Give him the time to get over learning=schooling. Tell
him that he doesn't need to "do" stuff just because the kids at school are.
And let him see what he has learned without the aide of schoolish things.
Did he attend any of the sessions at the convention?
but he's asked me for more
> structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,He asks these things because HE is confused! Perhaps he needs a nudge in a
> he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
direction of interest? Maybe he needs to see YOU engaged in your
activities. Tell him that you are on summer vacation and starting living
joyfully!
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Saille
Are there other options for him besides the co-op? Is there a community college where he could take a classs or two? Could he take an online class? Is there a summer reading program at your local library? Maybe he could design his own curriculum. Maybe ask him what he wants to learn and show him how to find info on those subjects on line or in the community. Just some ideas to consider. I know everyone doesn't live in a town with great resources.
Good luck,
Melissa in Oregon
Tonya Matthews <godzilla.matthews@...> wrote: Hi All,
Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
them, most days.
Ok, back to the story, so I ask him what he'd like to do about that
group come this September (my husband and I are offering a History
course).
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
I'm asking you all... What now??
I couldn't be more confused,
Tonya
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Good luck,
Melissa in Oregon
Tonya Matthews <godzilla.matthews@...> wrote: Hi All,
Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
them, most days.
Ok, back to the story, so I ask him what he'd like to do about that
group come this September (my husband and I are offering a History
course).
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
I'm asking you all... What now??
I couldn't be more confused,
Tonya
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Melissa
I like much of what Michelle said. I'm going to tag on to this
primarily because I also have an eleven yo, but as well we have just
started homeschooling a year ago, and unschooling the past six months.
Just wanted to let you know that we leave our 11yo home alone
sometimes when I have to run errands. We started with a strict
schedule when he was ten, running to the grocery and back his rules
were no opening the door, no answering the phone, no cooking, and
actually he had to stay in my bedroom and watch tv, read or play
videogames (our room is above the garage and has it's own bathroom,
fridge and phone). We've loosened up on a lot of it, still no
cooking, but he can go round the house at least ;-) It's what works
for our family anyway, but everything in Norman is within 20 minutes.
i wouldn't drive up to the city and leave him here.
It sounds alot like what we went through with Josh, he was begging to
be 'taught'. It was all he knew, and he got a lot of reward at school
from being told how smart he was and how good he was. It was very
hard for him to break away from pleasing others to wanting to please
himself. He's still stuck sometimes, just today he apologized to me
for wasting so much of his time on mindless pursuits! I was
horrified! I told him that I didn't ever think that his video games
or computer time was mindless, it's something he enjoys and he's
learning all he can about these things.
I'm sure the coop is undoing all that you're trying to teach him
about learning being self-evident....he's being told that there are
things he can't learn without someone telling him what they are! I
have some homeschooling friends, who's son told me that I should get
Josh Shirley grammar because 'it's really hard'. I asked him what
grammar was for and he had no idea. But they put him in a coop for
it, and the coop has intensified these feelings he has that grammar
is something everyone should learn, it should be hard, and it can't
be fun. What?!
When we first pulled him out of school, he was a terror, trying to
make me mad so I'd give up and send him back to school! This was
still schooling at home phase. I finally blew up one day and told him
"NO matter how rotten or mean you act, I will not send you back to
school! Now put down that math and go have some fun!" Haha....he
yelled back at me, we got a lot out of our system, and trust me, for
him that was a big step. It was the first time he ever was able to
call me on my meanness. And now i've got to go because they are
running in and out of the house to the mudpuddle. I wouldn't mind so
much except the 'in the house' part.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
primarily because I also have an eleven yo, but as well we have just
started homeschooling a year ago, and unschooling the past six months.
Just wanted to let you know that we leave our 11yo home alone
sometimes when I have to run errands. We started with a strict
schedule when he was ten, running to the grocery and back his rules
were no opening the door, no answering the phone, no cooking, and
actually he had to stay in my bedroom and watch tv, read or play
videogames (our room is above the garage and has it's own bathroom,
fridge and phone). We've loosened up on a lot of it, still no
cooking, but he can go round the house at least ;-) It's what works
for our family anyway, but everything in Norman is within 20 minutes.
i wouldn't drive up to the city and leave him here.
It sounds alot like what we went through with Josh, he was begging to
be 'taught'. It was all he knew, and he got a lot of reward at school
from being told how smart he was and how good he was. It was very
hard for him to break away from pleasing others to wanting to please
himself. He's still stuck sometimes, just today he apologized to me
for wasting so much of his time on mindless pursuits! I was
horrified! I told him that I didn't ever think that his video games
or computer time was mindless, it's something he enjoys and he's
learning all he can about these things.
I'm sure the coop is undoing all that you're trying to teach him
about learning being self-evident....he's being told that there are
things he can't learn without someone telling him what they are! I
have some homeschooling friends, who's son told me that I should get
Josh Shirley grammar because 'it's really hard'. I asked him what
grammar was for and he had no idea. But they put him in a coop for
it, and the coop has intensified these feelings he has that grammar
is something everyone should learn, it should be hard, and it can't
be fun. What?!
When we first pulled him out of school, he was a terror, trying to
make me mad so I'd give up and send him back to school! This was
still schooling at home phase. I finally blew up one day and told him
"NO matter how rotten or mean you act, I will not send you back to
school! Now put down that math and go have some fun!" Haha....he
yelled back at me, we got a lot out of our system, and trust me, for
him that was a big step. It was the first time he ever was able to
call me on my meanness. And now i've got to go because they are
running in and out of the house to the mudpuddle. I wouldn't mind so
much except the 'in the house' part.
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On Jun 1, 2006, at 6:34 PM, Michelle/Melbrigða wrote:
> On 6/1/06, Tonya Matthews <godzilla.matthews@...> wrote:
> >
> > Hi All,
> >
> > Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
> > Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
> > with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
> > about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
> > learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
> > we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
> > day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
> > that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
> > record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
> > little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
> > enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
> > liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
> > them, most days.
Lesa McMahon-Lowe
Tonya,
My DD went to PS from preschool to 3rd grade. this is our first year
homeschooling and we quickly went from classical to unschooling. My DD has
said the same thing to me in the past about structure but balks at it when
it's actually there. I chalk it up to the fact that she's been told what to
do her whole life and doesn't quite know what to do with herself if someone
isn't telling her what to do or how to think. She's deschooling and I
trust that this awkward time will pass.
Lesa
http://lifeacademy.homeschooljournal.net
http://stoptherod.net/
http://parentinginjesusfootsteps.org/
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
-John F. Kennedy
-------Original Message-------
From: Tonya Matthews
Date: 06/01/06 17:49:27
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Ok, now what???
Hi All,
Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
them, most days.
Ok, back to the story, so I ask him what he'd like to do about that
group come this September (my husband and I are offering a History
course).
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
I'm asking you all... What now??
I couldn't be more confused,
Tonya
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
My DD went to PS from preschool to 3rd grade. this is our first year
homeschooling and we quickly went from classical to unschooling. My DD has
said the same thing to me in the past about structure but balks at it when
it's actually there. I chalk it up to the fact that she's been told what to
do her whole life and doesn't quite know what to do with herself if someone
isn't telling her what to do or how to think. She's deschooling and I
trust that this awkward time will pass.
Lesa
http://lifeacademy.homeschooljournal.net
http://stoptherod.net/
http://parentinginjesusfootsteps.org/
"Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth."
-John F. Kennedy
-------Original Message-------
From: Tonya Matthews
Date: 06/01/06 17:49:27
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Ok, now what???
Hi All,
Here's the run down.. so we go to the Unschooling Conference in
Peabody, leave empowered and come back home. Yesterday, we sit down
with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask him what he'd like to do
about this group both my younger two and I really enjoy (it's a
learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time with transitions and
we have a VERY hard time getting him to come with us. It's a long
day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want to leave him alone
that long so we have him come along. (it's not going on now, for the
record, it's over for the summer) The kids would go and attend
little sessions with other moms instructing the subject they
enjoyed.. I liked it. Christian also had some 'courses' he really
liked. He liked seeing the other kids and playing his games with
them, most days.
Ok, back to the story, so I ask him what he'd like to do about that
group come this September (my husband and I are offering a History
course).
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
I'm asking you all... What now??
I couldn't be more confused,
Tonya
SPONSORED LINKS Secondary school education Graduate school education Home
school education
Graduate school education online High school education Chicago school
education
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
jlh44music
> Yesterday, we sit down with my oldest, Christian(11), and ask himwhat he'd like to do about this group both my younger two and I
really enjoy (it's a learning co-op). Christian has a very hard time
with transitions and we have a VERY hard time getting him to come
with us. It's a long day and I'm a good 1/2 hr away and I don't want
to leave him alone that long so we have him come along. (it's not
going on now, for the record, it's over for the summer)>>
It's funny, we just went through something similar, we visited and
considered a co-op about 1/2 hour from us, but decided not to join
in the fall. What nudged me in this direction is that my dd
expressed an interest not long ago in getting out more and meeting
more teens. This group has a teen session. We initially went to
their monthly dance (which she had a hard time getting involved in,
being HS ("highly sensitive"), like Tonya's ds, we're both on Anne
O's group "shine"!)). They were really great about hooking her up
with a couple of kids who weren't into dancing and were playing a
game, but she kept going back to the dance area to watch.
She has a schooled friend in another town who goes to dances at her
school often, has many friends, and I think part of her feels she's
missing out on something (they talk almost every day).
She never got up to dance (I hung with the parents in another room,
checked in a couple of times or the parents let me know, I had
explained her difficulties and they were really great about it), but
on the way home she said she really WANTED to, she just couldn't
bring herself to do it and she regretted it. We talked about it at
length, and also that she'd like to go another time.
This group is more "homeschoolish", with "study groups, no tests, a
variety of things offered, also with the hanging out part as well,
but we decided against it because of the distance, and also the
commute home in the late afternoon would be on the highway in rush
hour traffic. Plus not knowing anyone, she would rather get to
know some of the kids first, and IF she connects, THEN we'll
consider it (not the other way around, as many "schooled" kids or
kids who "fit in" easily would do).
> And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. Inmore structure and you need to be firmer with me">>
> school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need
You know I'm about as experienced as you at this (!), but I agree
with what some of the others have written, about treating life as a
vacation right now, etc. Maybe try doing something specific from
time to time. Maybe he wants to see what you'll do (?). Can you
let it go for now, and see what he says next about it?
This also ties into some things I've been mulling over in my mind,
I'm writing my thoughts out as I've been very conflicted and want to
try to express myself as clearly as possible because I haven't felt
very clear at all this week!
Jann (to be continued....)
[email protected]
>>I DO know he's trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him, he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???I'm asking you all... What now??>>
I think you all need to DEschool. Take a break from things that look like classes, curriculum and school. Make a point to explore the world and connect as a family. YOU need to do this with your son if he's going to believe that the trappings of school are not necessary for learning.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Saille <mkleblanc@...>
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Tonya Matthews <godzilla.matthews@...>
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
-=-=-=-
Cameron, at 12, went through the same thing. All his friends were
still in school and assuring Cameron in NO uncertain terms that he
would be stupid because he HAD to be in school to learn *anything*.
That doesn't do much to help the family move towards unschooling! <G>
He asked to learn algebra and Shakespeare and chemistry in particular.
He *asked*, but he didn't want to actually DO the work! He too told me
to be firmer with him.
He didn't mean it. Not really. He was simply feeling inadequate and
like it was going to get no better---ever.
Time. Patience. Trust. Respect.
It wasn't long (even though it felt like forever!) before the *same*
friends were becoming envious of Cameron's life and saying how stupid
school was.
They all got diplomas last month. Cameron got his first paying gig! <G>
-==-=-=-
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
-=-=-=-
And why do people come *here* and do the same thing??? <g>
Fear. Old tapes. Others' voices.
-=-=-=-
I'm asking you all... What now??
-=-=-=-=-
Time. Patience. Trust. Respect.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
From: Tonya Matthews <godzilla.matthews@...>
And he says "I'm not learning as much as other kids my age are. In
school, they do so much more than I am at home. I think I need more
structure and you need to be firmer with me"
-=-=-=-
Cameron, at 12, went through the same thing. All his friends were
still in school and assuring Cameron in NO uncertain terms that he
would be stupid because he HAD to be in school to learn *anything*.
That doesn't do much to help the family move towards unschooling! <G>
He asked to learn algebra and Shakespeare and chemistry in particular.
He *asked*, but he didn't want to actually DO the work! He too told me
to be firmer with him.
He didn't mean it. Not really. He was simply feeling inadequate and
like it was going to get no better---ever.
Time. Patience. Trust. Respect.
It wasn't long (even though it felt like forever!) before the *same*
friends were becoming envious of Cameron's life and saying how stupid
school was.
They all got diplomas last month. Cameron got his first paying gig! <G>
-==-=-=-
Even retelling this story has me picking my chin up off the floor
~again.
For a little more background, this is our first year homeschooling,
he attended preschool-4th grade. When we tried to do classical
homeschooling, he'd balk, fight, yell, rage, etc. I DO know he's
trying to figure all this out like us but he's asked me for more
structure and rigidity before yet WHENEVER I put hard limits on him,
he goes wild. Why is he asking for what he can't handle???
-=-=-=-
And why do people come *here* and do the same thing??? <g>
Fear. Old tapes. Others' voices.
-=-=-=-
I'm asking you all... What now??
-=-=-=-=-
Time. Patience. Trust. Respect.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith