Intro and Peabody conference and questions
Janice
Hi Everyone,
My name is Janice and I am the wife of Glen, and the mother of 4
boys: Paul- 14.5, Shawn-12, Eric-9, Collin-8(in 2 wks), and Joshua-6
(in 2 wks).
We recently attended the Peabody Unschooling Conference to try to
help us decide whether or not the unschooling life was really what
we were after or not. The conference made reference to this web
group, so here I am. We have been homeschooling for 5 years now and
this past year have tentatively been trying out the unschooling
lifestyle. I have known about unschooling since the start of our
homeschooling journey and have always been intrigued by it, but was
somewhat hesitant to try it. All of my children are VERY
introverted. They would prefer to never leave the confines of our
home for any reason, and this makes me somewhat shy of unschooling.
They have NO friends whatsoever. Even at the conference, they spent
as much time as they possibly could hiding in our hotel room.
Could someone please convince me that this will work for our family?
Also, my husband is still on the fence about even traditional
homeschooling methods and this makes him even more nervous. He has
agreed to "go with the flow" for now, but both of us need
reassurance about this lifestyle. Just for information purposes,
one of the things that makes us the most hesitant is in regards to
reading - my 3 youngest still do not read AT ALL, and my 12 yr old
can read (but probably not at what most would consider "grade
level") but hates to read for any reason.
Any insights would be appreciated.
Janice W.
Leicester, MA
My name is Janice and I am the wife of Glen, and the mother of 4
boys: Paul- 14.5, Shawn-12, Eric-9, Collin-8(in 2 wks), and Joshua-6
(in 2 wks).
We recently attended the Peabody Unschooling Conference to try to
help us decide whether or not the unschooling life was really what
we were after or not. The conference made reference to this web
group, so here I am. We have been homeschooling for 5 years now and
this past year have tentatively been trying out the unschooling
lifestyle. I have known about unschooling since the start of our
homeschooling journey and have always been intrigued by it, but was
somewhat hesitant to try it. All of my children are VERY
introverted. They would prefer to never leave the confines of our
home for any reason, and this makes me somewhat shy of unschooling.
They have NO friends whatsoever. Even at the conference, they spent
as much time as they possibly could hiding in our hotel room.
Could someone please convince me that this will work for our family?
Also, my husband is still on the fence about even traditional
homeschooling methods and this makes him even more nervous. He has
agreed to "go with the flow" for now, but both of us need
reassurance about this lifestyle. Just for information purposes,
one of the things that makes us the most hesitant is in regards to
reading - my 3 youngest still do not read AT ALL, and my 12 yr old
can read (but probably not at what most would consider "grade
level") but hates to read for any reason.
Any insights would be appreciated.
Janice W.
Leicester, MA
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/30/06, Janice <wolverton@...> wrote:
being by themselves? What do you do now? It seems like with their ages
that they have created their own social structure. That's ok if it brings
joy in their lives. If pushing them out the door to force them to be social
is going to bring fear or distrust then I would be hesitant to tell you to
just "go for it" and find ways to bring socialism in their lives.
Tell us a bit about what a day in your family life is like.
Michelle - momentarily bringing her head up from a book
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Are they just shy? Scared to do something new? or truly just like better
> All of my children are VERY
> introverted. They would prefer to never leave the confines of our
> home for any reason, and this makes me somewhat shy of unschooling.
being by themselves? What do you do now? It seems like with their ages
that they have created their own social structure. That's ok if it brings
joy in their lives. If pushing them out the door to force them to be social
is going to bring fear or distrust then I would be hesitant to tell you to
just "go for it" and find ways to bring socialism in their lives.
Tell us a bit about what a day in your family life is like.
Michelle - momentarily bringing her head up from a book
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
freepsgal
> All of my children are VERY introverted. They would prefer toHi Janice,
> never leave the confines of our home for any reason, and this
> makes me somewhat shy of unschooling. They have NO friends
> whatsoever.
> Janice W.
Welcome to the group! I wanted to address this concern of yours
with a question. If you decide against unschooling and choose
traditional homeschooling, how would that help your boys become more
social? What kind of homeschooling have you been doing? Forgive
this assumption, but if it was working well for you, I don't think
you'd be looking into unschooling, right? :)
My son is very introverted as well. We've been homeschooling over 4
years and no matter what type of homeschooling we've tried, his
personality hasn't changed. However, since our family lifestyle has
moved into radical unschooling, he's become a happier little boy.
He's slowly opening up, trusting us more because he is learning that
we won't force him to do things he really doesn't want to do.
Time to get ready for dinner. Glad to see you here and asking
questions. The people on this list are so great. I wish I could
attend an unschooling conference! It's just not going to work out
this year though. :)
Beth M.
[email protected]
>>Could someone please convince me that this will work for our family?>>It will work. But you've got to stop "tentatively" unschooling. Come on, jump in. The water's fine! You've got to really give it a go to see the benefits and appreciate the learning. We can't convince you, but your kids will if you give them the chance. Introverted or extroverted doesn't matter. What matters is a home that supports interests, passions, wishes and dreams. That's where the learning will happen.
Keep reading here and asking questions as they come up. Lots of us have been unschooling for years. We *know* it works. Come here and feed off of our confidence.
>>Just for information purposes, one of the things that makes us the most hesitant is in regards to reading - my 3 youngest still do not read AT ALL, and my 12 yr old can read (but probably not at what most would consider "grade level") but hates to read for any reason.>>Well then I guess the traditional methods are not working out so well are they? Why continue with more of the same?
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Janice" <wolverton@...>
Lisa H
Janice,
After attending the conference, how do your boys feel about unschooling? How do you feel about it? Are they informed about the freedom and real support unschooling gives each of them. The conversations our family has had during the car ride home following each conference reflects the strength and conviction my girls have in what we are doing which helps us all in the face of being with traditional school at homers and schooled families once we've returned home.
Are you able to continue to be with unschoolers? And if your boys are not social butterflies - perhaps simply inviting another family to your home (or a neutral location) for an activity of real interest to both groups.
I know several families with introverted homebody boys and they lack no self esteem from the unschooling lifestyle. They are fully supported and trusted to know for themselves what is comfortable and right at any given time.
Lisa Heyman
After attending the conference, how do your boys feel about unschooling? How do you feel about it? Are they informed about the freedom and real support unschooling gives each of them. The conversations our family has had during the car ride home following each conference reflects the strength and conviction my girls have in what we are doing which helps us all in the face of being with traditional school at homers and schooled families once we've returned home.
Are you able to continue to be with unschoolers? And if your boys are not social butterflies - perhaps simply inviting another family to your home (or a neutral location) for an activity of real interest to both groups.
I know several families with introverted homebody boys and they lack no self esteem from the unschooling lifestyle. They are fully supported and trusted to know for themselves what is comfortable and right at any given time.
Lisa Heyman
----- Original Message -----
From: Janice
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 30, 2006 11:12 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Intro and Peabody conference and questions
Hi Everyone,
My name is Janice and I am the wife of Glen, and the mother of 4
boys: Paul- 14.5, Shawn-12, Eric-9, Collin-8(in 2 wks), and Joshua-6
(in 2 wks).
We recently attended the Peabody Unschooling Conference to try to
help us decide whether or not the unschooling life was really what
we were after or not. The conference made reference to this web
group, so here I am. We have been homeschooling for 5 years now and
this past year have tentatively been trying out the unschooling
lifestyle. I have known about unschooling since the start of our
homeschooling journey and have always been intrigued by it, but was
somewhat hesitant to try it. All of my children are VERY
introverted. They would prefer to never leave the confines of our
home for any reason, and this makes me somewhat shy of unschooling.
They have NO friends whatsoever. Even at the conference, they spent
as much time as they possibly could hiding in our hotel room.
Could someone please convince me that this will work for our family?
Also, my husband is still on the fence about even traditional
homeschooling methods and this makes him even more nervous. He has
agreed to "go with the flow" for now, but both of us need
reassurance about this lifestyle. Just for information purposes,
one of the things that makes us the most hesitant is in regards to
reading - my 3 youngest still do not read AT ALL, and my 12 yr old
can read (but probably not at what most would consider "grade
level") but hates to read for any reason.
Any insights would be appreciated.
Janice W.
Leicester, MA
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Rose
Hi Janice, I don't post on here much, mostly just lurk, but I've got
some shy ones in my family too. I have 3 boys ages almost 14, 16 and
18. My 18 year old has always been shy but has a strong desire to
figure out how to be social. My 16 yo has never been shy but isn't a
super duper outgoing type either. My youngest has always been shy
and has NO desire to get to know anyone else unless of course they
come to him and are interested in things he is interested in, like
online games. I used to worry about my boys because they never
seemed to want to go out in our neighborhood to find friends to hang
out with. I finally realized that they had always had each other to
play with and even though they sometimes get tired of each other and
act like they would rather be around anyone else in the world than
their brothers, they really were just best friends. Another thing
about them that I realized is that they don't necessarily NEED to be
around a LOT of other kids. They are perfectly happy to have someone
they enjoy being with over on occasion.
My oldest one decided to go to high school because he felt like he
wanted to be around more kids his age. He did make a few friends
that he has hung out with on occasion but what he has enjoyed the
most was going to work this last year at a web design company where
all of the people he works with are WAY older than he is, but he has
something in common with them, computers!
I always considered myself shy as a child and don't consider myself
particularly outgoing now but I have a LOT of friends. Not friends
that I see all the time but when we see each other it is SO great to
be with them!
So, I guess my point is, sometimes we worry about our kids more than
we need to. Maybe you kids don't need to have more socialization. If
they are asking for time around other kids, invite someone over.
Find a way to help that child socialize whether it benefits all 4 of
them or just the one. He may be the only one that needs it right
now. I also discovered that over the years they didn't each have a
friend their age that they could invite over so we just invited a
friend or two no matter what age they were and they just all hung
out together. That's one of the beauties of unschooling. Age doesn't
matter if they have similar interests! But, if they aren't asking
for socialization, then maybe they have enough at home!
Rose
--- In [email protected], "Janice" <wolverton@...>
wrote:
some shy ones in my family too. I have 3 boys ages almost 14, 16 and
18. My 18 year old has always been shy but has a strong desire to
figure out how to be social. My 16 yo has never been shy but isn't a
super duper outgoing type either. My youngest has always been shy
and has NO desire to get to know anyone else unless of course they
come to him and are interested in things he is interested in, like
online games. I used to worry about my boys because they never
seemed to want to go out in our neighborhood to find friends to hang
out with. I finally realized that they had always had each other to
play with and even though they sometimes get tired of each other and
act like they would rather be around anyone else in the world than
their brothers, they really were just best friends. Another thing
about them that I realized is that they don't necessarily NEED to be
around a LOT of other kids. They are perfectly happy to have someone
they enjoy being with over on occasion.
My oldest one decided to go to high school because he felt like he
wanted to be around more kids his age. He did make a few friends
that he has hung out with on occasion but what he has enjoyed the
most was going to work this last year at a web design company where
all of the people he works with are WAY older than he is, but he has
something in common with them, computers!
I always considered myself shy as a child and don't consider myself
particularly outgoing now but I have a LOT of friends. Not friends
that I see all the time but when we see each other it is SO great to
be with them!
So, I guess my point is, sometimes we worry about our kids more than
we need to. Maybe you kids don't need to have more socialization. If
they are asking for time around other kids, invite someone over.
Find a way to help that child socialize whether it benefits all 4 of
them or just the one. He may be the only one that needs it right
now. I also discovered that over the years they didn't each have a
friend their age that they could invite over so we just invited a
friend or two no matter what age they were and they just all hung
out together. That's one of the beauties of unschooling. Age doesn't
matter if they have similar interests! But, if they aren't asking
for socialization, then maybe they have enough at home!
Rose
--- In [email protected], "Janice" <wolverton@...>
wrote:
>6
> Hi Everyone,
>
> My name is Janice and I am the wife of Glen, and the mother of 4
> boys: Paul- 14.5, Shawn-12, Eric-9, Collin-8(in 2 wks), and Joshua-
> (in 2 wks).and
>
> We recently attended the Peabody Unschooling Conference to try to
> help us decide whether or not the unschooling life was really what
> we were after or not. The conference made reference to this web
> group, so here I am. We have been homeschooling for 5 years now
> this past year have tentatively been trying out the unschoolingwas
> lifestyle. I have known about unschooling since the start of our
> homeschooling journey and have always been intrigued by it, but
> somewhat hesitant to try it. All of my children are VERYunschooling.
> introverted. They would prefer to never leave the confines of our
> home for any reason, and this makes me somewhat shy of
> They have NO friends whatsoever. Even at the conference, theyspent
> as much time as they possibly could hiding in our hotel room.family?
>
> Could someone please convince me that this will work for our
>has
> Also, my husband is still on the fence about even traditional
> homeschooling methods and this makes him even more nervous. He
> agreed to "go with the flow" for now, but both of us need
> reassurance about this lifestyle. Just for information purposes,
> one of the things that makes us the most hesitant is in regards to
> reading - my 3 youngest still do not read AT ALL, and my 12 yr old
> can read (but probably not at what most would consider "grade
> level") but hates to read for any reason.
>
> Any insights would be appreciated.
>
> Janice W.
> Leicester, MA
>
Lesa ODaniel
This is an important opportunity here to realize that your children are just
going to be interested in different, maybe more cerebral activities.
I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't make a shy child any
less shy to be pushed into activities and social situations. I used to be a
very social, chatty child until I started school. Once school came along and
chastized me for being chatty and social during class, I squashed that
behavior. My mother, who had agoraphobia and was extremely, painfully shy
with just about everyone outside of our family, felt that she would be
saving me from a world of hurt and awkwardness if she could just bring out
that social child again. However, if she had only known about unschooling
(or homeschooling, at least), it might have worked. Instead, she enrolled me
in dance classes, signed me up for the girlscouts and sent me off to summer
camps whenever she could afford it.
The end result was I hated these activities and I hated her very often for
pushing me into these things. Of course, whenever I called her on this and
told her how much I didn't want to do all these activities, she would
explain her reasoning behind it. Didn't matter. I still hated it.
Result today? I still hate social activities. I could stay home every single
day and sit and read or get on the computer or garden, etc. and never see
another person besides my husband and son all day and be super duper happy
about it. My son, however, is a butterfly who wants to go places and see
kids, etc., so I pull it out of myself to go somewhere once a day. My
husband is also a very social person and has to have people over for dinner
or small parties fairly frequently, so I pull it out of myself for him, too.
We do have lots of "down time", though, too, for MY sanity. We have a good
balance now and it makes everyone happy.
Lesa O'Daniel, AAHCC
Instructor, Bradley Method� of Natural Childbirth
323-541-5515
http://www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=O123&Count=N
Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today - it's FREE!
http://messenger.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200471ave/direct/01/
going to be interested in different, maybe more cerebral activities.
I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't make a shy child any
less shy to be pushed into activities and social situations. I used to be a
very social, chatty child until I started school. Once school came along and
chastized me for being chatty and social during class, I squashed that
behavior. My mother, who had agoraphobia and was extremely, painfully shy
with just about everyone outside of our family, felt that she would be
saving me from a world of hurt and awkwardness if she could just bring out
that social child again. However, if she had only known about unschooling
(or homeschooling, at least), it might have worked. Instead, she enrolled me
in dance classes, signed me up for the girlscouts and sent me off to summer
camps whenever she could afford it.
The end result was I hated these activities and I hated her very often for
pushing me into these things. Of course, whenever I called her on this and
told her how much I didn't want to do all these activities, she would
explain her reasoning behind it. Didn't matter. I still hated it.
Result today? I still hate social activities. I could stay home every single
day and sit and read or get on the computer or garden, etc. and never see
another person besides my husband and son all day and be super duper happy
about it. My son, however, is a butterfly who wants to go places and see
kids, etc., so I pull it out of myself to go somewhere once a day. My
husband is also a very social person and has to have people over for dinner
or small parties fairly frequently, so I pull it out of myself for him, too.
We do have lots of "down time", though, too, for MY sanity. We have a good
balance now and it makes everyone happy.
Lesa O'Daniel, AAHCC
Instructor, Bradley Method� of Natural Childbirth
323-541-5515
http://www.bradleybirth.com/ndweb.asp?ID=O123&Count=N
>From: "Pampered Chef Michelle" <pamperedmichelle@...>_________________________________________________________________
>Reply-To: [email protected]
>To: [email protected]
>Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] Intro and Peabody conference and questions
>Date: Tue, 30 May 2006 15:00:09 -0500
>
>On 5/30/06, Janice <wolverton@...> wrote:
> >
> > All of my children are VERY
> > introverted. They would prefer to never leave the confines of our
> > home for any reason, and this makes me somewhat shy of unschooling.
>
>
>Are they just shy? Scared to do something new? or truly just like better
>being by themselves? What do you do now? It seems like with their ages
>that they have created their own social structure. That's ok if it brings
>joy in their lives. If pushing them out the door to force them to be
>social
>is going to bring fear or distrust then I would be hesitant to tell you to
>just "go for it" and find ways to bring socialism in their lives.
>
>Tell us a bit about what a day in your family life is like.
>
>Michelle - momentarily bringing her head up from a book
>
>
>[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Express yourself instantly with MSN Messenger! Download today - it's FREE!
http://messenger.msn.click-url.com/go/onm00200471ave/direct/01/
Michelle/Melbrigða
On 6/1/06, Lesa ODaniel <lesaodaniel@...> wrote:
vocal and well-spoken from a very young age. I enjoyed being engaged with
other people. HOWEVER, what she failed to notice is that I was horribly
shy! I hate meeting new people. I like surrounding myself with a
comfortable group of people. When in large crowds, even of people I know, I
tend to step back out of the center and watch from the sidelines. It
surprises people when they find out about this. "But you are a theatre
major and studied classical vocal music. How can you be shy?" "You are
always chatty and social. You aren't shy." But I'm chatty and social
within small groups among people I am familiar with. My mother also forced
me into many different ventures (including ballet and Girl Scouts) and I
loathed going to everything but ballet (because it was at a small studio
with one teacher and the same 8-10 kids year after year.)
And for the record some of the shiest people happen to be my favorite
singers and actors. Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Barbra Streisand, Jody
Foster, and Liam Neeson.
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>My mother always thought that I was a very social person because I was quite
> However, if she had only known about unschooling
> (or homeschooling, at least), it might have worked. Instead, she enrolled
> me
> in dance classes, signed me up for the girlscouts and sent me off to
> summer
> camps whenever she could afford it.
>
> The end result was I hated these activities and I hated her very often for
> pushing me into these things. Of course, whenever I called her on this and
> told her how much I didn't want to do all these activities, she would
> explain her reasoning behind it. Didn't matter. I still hated it.
vocal and well-spoken from a very young age. I enjoyed being engaged with
other people. HOWEVER, what she failed to notice is that I was horribly
shy! I hate meeting new people. I like surrounding myself with a
comfortable group of people. When in large crowds, even of people I know, I
tend to step back out of the center and watch from the sidelines. It
surprises people when they find out about this. "But you are a theatre
major and studied classical vocal music. How can you be shy?" "You are
always chatty and social. You aren't shy." But I'm chatty and social
within small groups among people I am familiar with. My mother also forced
me into many different ventures (including ballet and Girl Scouts) and I
loathed going to everything but ballet (because it was at a small studio
with one teacher and the same 8-10 kids year after year.)
And for the record some of the shiest people happen to be my favorite
singers and actors. Meryl Streep, Johnny Depp, Barbra Streisand, Jody
Foster, and Liam Neeson.
--
Michelle
aka Melbrigða
http://eventualknitting.blogspot.com
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]