Ren Allen

"Only
problem is, that my friends are dependent on me for things and I
just
can not count on them, so I came here to vent because one of my
biggest problems is trying to let go of all the schooling so that my
daughter can grow up happy and so that I can learn to change to make
sure that happens. "

THey aren't TRUE friends. You probably realize that now....you need
real friends, not people just trying to suck your life energy.
True friendships consist of give and take and leave you feeling
energized, healthy, fulfilled.
I really hope you can find some people that will bring positive
energy into your life, and learn to say NO to the rest of them.

I didn't read anything here that suggested you just go away and
medicate to fix everything. Although, if medication gets someone
through a rough spot, more power to them! Getting help can mean a
myriad of things...
Counseling, alternative therapies, hypnosis, medication, creating
support networks and so on....
What I read said "I hope you get some help", not "I hope you drug
yourself into a stupor." :) Help means just that, HELP. In whatever
form assists you the most.
Yes, many geniuses think differently, many brilliant minds suffer
depression or ups and downs of the passionate spirit. That doesn't
mean they didn't/don't need help at times, to get out of that dark
place. We all need help at times.
You said yourself, you felt "broken", so the responses are going to
reflect back what you yourself said. That doesn't mean "less than".

If you come here and tell us these very stressful things in your
life, you're probably going to get a bunch of responses saying "take
control". That's how unschoolers tend to think!:)
I've read enough about your life and this very difficult place
you're in to know that you CAN control a lot of it. There's a lot
you have no control over (like dh going to Iraq) and that's why it's
essential to make choices and change things where you can.
I feel for ya!
I know it's really, really difficult to change that victim mentality
when you've been abused. It sounds like you're completely aware and
taking steps to change things....that's great.
Just expect the advice here to run to the side of making different
choices and saying NO more. Try to see it as support, not a put-
down...that's really what it is.

Having been in a deep depression I saw no way out of (also an
environmental thing, not a chemical imbalance) I KNOW for a fact
that sometimes you need a helping hand. Try to find some positive
spirits to be your guides....you can change everything, it's as easy
as standing up for yourself, it's as hard as changing a lifetime of
thinking patterns.

I think you'll find unschooling unfolding more joyfully as you take
steps towards ridding your life of these negative energy suckers
you're surrounded by right now. First step, get rid of the roomate.:)

Ren