Kimberly

Robin, thank you for your concern and your post.

It made me think about a lot of things, and the first things was
that no one here could understand how the last few years of my life
have been and why I would use the word broken. I am an Army wife, my
husband was in Iraq and I was alone with my daughter and pregnant for
the second time with a surrogate baby. The timeing was horrible, who
would have guessed we would go to war? My health, there is very
little I can do that I have no already done to help it. It is just a
wiating game on the Drs. Who by the way think they know why my throat
feels like it is closing every so often and why I throw up so often
for weeks and then it goes away, just to come back, it is not my
thyriod after all, my a problem with acid in my stomack eating my
throat. I go for an upper GI and other tests next week. And as for my
love for helping people who in the end effect my family negatively, I
am working on that.

That is part of unschooling I think because of why I do it. I do it
because like many I was programmed to only find self worth in the
opinions of others. I want to make others happy. Working on that just
as surely as I am working on letting my own child be who she is love
what she loves.

So worry if you will, I do not depend on my child for my emotional
health, I just now notice more often the wonderful things she does,
and I take the time to enjoy it. I have a new Dr and with the files
from all the others, this one agrees as well that I have sutational
depression and right now she said all I need is a good a friend. Only
problem is, that my friends are dependent on me for things and I just
can not count on them, so I came here to vent because one of my
biggest problems is trying to let go of all the schooling so that my
daughter can grow up happy and so that I can learn to change to make
sure that happens.

I am very thrilled to have been given the http://www.aldort.com/
page because right at the top is what, says what I am looking for:
Raising our Children, Raising ourselves.

One last thing, it is not a shock to me to here people talk about
getting help, but often they mean medication, and that is very sick
to me as I see it so often. People are told to not show their
emotions and that is the sickness to me. I came here very honest
about how I am feeling and what is going on, looking for advice on
how to fix things, and it seems, though I could be wrong, that many
here would rather me be on medication so I am not honest about my
feeling for I would not even be feeling them. I can not change how
any of those people feel about me. Most of those people also seem to
forget that most of the brightest inventors and amazing artist and
writers where all full of passion and where often called crazy as
well. I rather be a person of passion, dare I even say a little
dramtic and feel it all, ups and down, then be one of the "well
agusted people" that the schools have tried to turn all of us into.
People to me, seem to have forgotten how to live.

I was raped when I was 4 years old, and maybe emotionally at times I
have not gone past that point. I know my 4 five year old lives with a
lot of passion....

I would not change any of it.

I can just hope to change the future.

Blessings,
Kimmy



--- In [email protected], "Robyn Coburn"
<dezigna@c...> wrote:
> <<<So in short she is not talking to me.
>
> I am leaving it all up to hubby now. I have tried. I just have no
> clue what else to do. If she stays and changes and works they we
have
> a chance to get out of the whole, if she leaves/kicked out, then we
> will be in a bad way for a very long time and not even sure we
could
> make it. Having her hear has hurt us in ways I never thought of. I
am
> so sick of having the bleeding heart and always feeling like I need
> to take care of other people out side my family. So blind I swear
it.
>
> Ok so that is the situation.
>
> I am scared, and feel broken. But oddly, in those amazing moments
I
> have with the kids, none of matters. I swear I am living off of
those
> moments now. >>>
>
> This is really starting to get beyond the scope of Unschooling
issues to me,
> and I feel very concerned for you and your little sweetheart. In
fact I have
> been vaguely worried about you ever since your earliest posts when
you were
> writing about self-control issues, and then your mysterious
vomiting. It's
> difficult to know how to respond.
>
> Feeling "broken" is especially telling. You can't be a proper
mother to your
> dear little girl if you are broken.
>
> She can't be responsible for your happiness either - it is too much
for a
> child to have to be your only source of joy. Believe me, I spent my
> childhood feeling responsible for my mother's emotions, and it is
amazing
> how this dynamic can last for ever and color your relationship
negatively.
>
> Robyn L. Coburn
>
> ---
> Outgoing mail is certified Virus Free.
> Checked by AVG anti-virus system (http://www.grisoft.com).
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Wendy E

I'm glad you found the aldort website helpful. I also mentioned
something about seeking counseling with Naomi Aldort or Jan Hunt. I
hope you didn't think that I was recommending you go on any
medication. I do not think that is the case, nor would I ever
assume to make that kind of recommendation on such a forum. An over
the phone session with Naomi or Jan would not lead you in that
direction either. In fact, I would actually recommend "against"
seeking "just any old" counseling, not only because they might just
try to give you a quick fix by putting you on medication, but also
it is very hard to find someone who understands certain alternative
life choices. I have talked to Jan on numerous occasions and she
has helped me through some rough spots. It does seem to me you have
had more than your fair share of lifes challenges. I hope you find
some support and comfort. You really seem to have your head in the
right place as far as I can see, it just seems you are in dire need
of some good support and a few less curve balls thrown your way.
Peace and Light to you. Wendy

--- In [email protected], "Kimberly"
<Kontessa_Rose@h...> wrote:
>
> I am very thrilled to have been given the http://www.aldort.com/
> page because right at the top is what, says what I am looking for:
> Raising our Children, Raising ourselves.
>
> One last thing, it is not a shock to me to here people talk about
> getting help, but often they mean medication, and that is very
sick
> to me as I see it so often. People are told to not show their
> emotions and that is the sickness to me. I came here very honest
> about how I am feeling and what is going on, looking for advice on
> how to fix things, and it seems, though I could be wrong, that
many
> here would rather me be on medication so I am not honest about my
> feeling for I would not even be feeling them. I can not change how
> any of those people feel about me. Most of those people also seem
to
> forget that most of the brightest inventors and amazing artist and
> writers where all full of passion and where often called crazy as
> well. I rather be a person of passion, dare I even say a little
> dramtic and feel it all, ups and down, then be one of the "well
> agusted people" that the schools have tried to turn all of us
into.
> People to me, seem to have forgotten how to live.