advice needed high schooler and new
sarah8591
I am starting to unschool my 16 year old and am very nervous about it.
He clearly needs to not be in an institution anymore but I am afraid
of long empty days....do I just trust he will find things to do,
interests, friends? He has been in Waldorf school all his life and is
sooo tired of taking classes he has no interest in.
Does anyone use a distance program like Global Village? They say
people can just create their own classes and get credit for them. I
want to keep his options open for the future, but right now he doesn't
have motivation in any particular direction.
Thanks,
Sarah
He clearly needs to not be in an institution anymore but I am afraid
of long empty days....do I just trust he will find things to do,
interests, friends? He has been in Waldorf school all his life and is
sooo tired of taking classes he has no interest in.
Does anyone use a distance program like Global Village? They say
people can just create their own classes and get credit for them. I
want to keep his options open for the future, but right now he doesn't
have motivation in any particular direction.
Thanks,
Sarah
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/28/06, sarah8591 <sarah8591@...> wrote:
starting point to rethink about education from a teen's point of view. Give
him time (a lot if he has been in school since kindergarden or before) to
deschool, and get used to not having boundaries or limits to his learning.
The first year or so you may see him doing a lot of what seems like
"nothing." That's ok. Nothing says that a child of 18 has to be ready at
18 to go to college. There is no timeline that children need to meet.
Colleges actually prefer students who are a bit older as a person who is 20
or 24 going to college generally has more ambition and does better because
they have some sort of focus as to what they want to do. How many people
have you met who never finished their degree because they didn't know what
they wanted to do so they dropped out. Not that finishing a degree is what
is important. What is important is enjoying the classes that you are taking
and seeing value in those classes, not just doing them to fulfill a degree
requirement.
He doesn't need a "transcript" to get into most colleges. So don't worry
about the piece of paper. Most colleges don't even require a diploma or GED
from homeschoolers as they realize that many homeschoolers don't function
the same way as traditional schools do. I've talked to several college
admissions directors (one is a friend of my mom's) She said that they treat
homeschoolers totally different and that they love having them in their
school.
Deep breath and let him go.
Michelle
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>First, have you both read the Teenage Liberation Handbook? It's a great
> I am starting to unschool my 16 year old and am very nervous about it.
> He clearly needs to not be in an institution anymore but I am afraid
> of long empty days....do I just trust he will find things to do,
> interests, friends?
starting point to rethink about education from a teen's point of view. Give
him time (a lot if he has been in school since kindergarden or before) to
deschool, and get used to not having boundaries or limits to his learning.
The first year or so you may see him doing a lot of what seems like
"nothing." That's ok. Nothing says that a child of 18 has to be ready at
18 to go to college. There is no timeline that children need to meet.
Colleges actually prefer students who are a bit older as a person who is 20
or 24 going to college generally has more ambition and does better because
they have some sort of focus as to what they want to do. How many people
have you met who never finished their degree because they didn't know what
they wanted to do so they dropped out. Not that finishing a degree is what
is important. What is important is enjoying the classes that you are taking
and seeing value in those classes, not just doing them to fulfill a degree
requirement.
He doesn't need a "transcript" to get into most colleges. So don't worry
about the piece of paper. Most colleges don't even require a diploma or GED
from homeschoolers as they realize that many homeschoolers don't function
the same way as traditional schools do. I've talked to several college
admissions directors (one is a friend of my mom's) She said that they treat
homeschoolers totally different and that they love having them in their
school.
Deep breath and let him go.
Michelle
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>I am starting to unschool my 16 year old and am very nervous about it. He clearly needs to not be in an institution anymore but I am afraid of long empty days....do I just trust he will find things to do, interests, friends? >>He needs time to deschool and just be for awhile. Don't think of it as empty time, think of it as healing time. Try reading a little about deschooling to calm your fears a bit.
http://sandradodd.com/deschooling
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "sarah8591" <sarah8591@...>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
Thanks for the advice...it is hard!! I have always parented by trusting my kids, nursing , sleeping with them, etc. but somehow I lost sight of it with school...
I wish I had done this last year as that is when the misery of hating school began. He has always been in the same Waldorf school so I thought it would pass, but it has just worsened.
I am greatful for this list.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I wish I had done this last year as that is when the misery of hating school began. He has always been in the same Waldorf school so I thought it would pass, but it has just worsened.
I am greatful for this list.
Sarah
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tina
We just pulled our 16-year-old always public schooled daugher out at
Christmas break 2005 and our 14-year-old always public schooled son
out at Easter break 2006. The best advice I can give is to use the
time to educate yourself on unschooling, and deschooling. Focus on
your interests and learn to see learning in EVERYthing.
Welcome to freedom...
Tina
Christmas break 2005 and our 14-year-old always public schooled son
out at Easter break 2006. The best advice I can give is to use the
time to educate yourself on unschooling, and deschooling. Focus on
your interests and learn to see learning in EVERYthing.
Welcome to freedom...
Tina
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: sarah8591 <sarah8591@...>
I am starting to unschool my 16 year old and am very nervous about
it.
He clearly needs to not be in an institution anymore but I am afraid
of long empty days....do I just trust he will find things to do,
interests, friends? He has been in Waldorf school all his life and is
sooo tired of taking classes he has no interest in.
--=-=-
Let him veg out for a while. He needs downtime. Please don't worry
about these months that he appears to be doing nothing! He's healing,
and he NEEDS it! It's called DEschooling. It may look like nothing but
sleep, tv, video games, computer time, phoning friends, and eating,
Seriously. But it'snecessary for his mental well-being to decompress.
Patience is paramount right now---on *your* part!
-=-=-=-
Does anyone use a distance program like Global Village?
-=-=-=-
Uhhhh...no. It's an unschooling list! <g>
-=-=-=-
I want to keep his options open for the future, but right now he
doesn't
have motivation in any particular direction.
-=-=-=-
He's burnt out. Give him time and space. Trust and respect and
patience. He'll find it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
From: sarah8591 <sarah8591@...>
I am starting to unschool my 16 year old and am very nervous about
it.
He clearly needs to not be in an institution anymore but I am afraid
of long empty days....do I just trust he will find things to do,
interests, friends? He has been in Waldorf school all his life and is
sooo tired of taking classes he has no interest in.
--=-=-
Let him veg out for a while. He needs downtime. Please don't worry
about these months that he appears to be doing nothing! He's healing,
and he NEEDS it! It's called DEschooling. It may look like nothing but
sleep, tv, video games, computer time, phoning friends, and eating,
Seriously. But it'snecessary for his mental well-being to decompress.
Patience is paramount right now---on *your* part!
-=-=-=-
Does anyone use a distance program like Global Village?
-=-=-=-
Uhhhh...no. It's an unschooling list! <g>
-=-=-=-
I want to keep his options open for the future, but right now he
doesn't
have motivation in any particular direction.
-=-=-=-
He's burnt out. Give him time and space. Trust and respect and
patience. He'll find it.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith