no bedtime=no parent time?
jsnhawkins
My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
Betsy
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
Betsy
HABIB OWENS
I unschool my three children and my husband is very supportivebut the one thing that we both agree with is that our children have a bed time. We have allowed them to stay up later than we did when they were in PS. I believe in unschooling and think that my children are happier and are learning more than they ever would in a very structured enviornment. I also feel that unschooling is different for every family and you have to find the balance for your family and if our children ever begin to ask about a later bedtime then we as a family would discuss it and as a family we would have to discuss what is best for all of us including me and my husband. Maybe taht is something you could do with your child is talk about the bed time and discuss your need for time with your husband.
Tywane
The way for a person to rise is to improve themselves every way they can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder them. - Abraham Lincoln -
----- Original Message ----
From: jsnhawkins <jsnhawkins@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 8:26:47 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] no bedtime=no parent time?
My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
Betsy
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tywane
The way for a person to rise is to improve themselves every way they can, never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder them. - Abraham Lincoln -
----- Original Message ----
From: jsnhawkins <jsnhawkins@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 8:26:47 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] no bedtime=no parent time?
My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
Betsy
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Momma
My dh worked nights for about 2 years and late evening or night was really
the only time I had to relax by myself and unwind. This time was very
precious to me. I explained this to my dc, 7 & 9 and they totally
understood. We came up with the solution that when it got to be about 10:00
I would ask them to go get ready for bed but they knew that that didn't mean
they had to go to bed. They stayed up and watched TV or played comp. games,
read, played in their rooms, etc. They always tried to be quiet. After a few
weeks of this I got comfortable enough to go to sleep when they were still
up (they are both night owls and I'm not). We talked a lot about safety
issues too. About sex- With dh working nights, the only time we could have
sex was during the day. We waited until they were busy with their own things
and told them we'd be in our room if they needed us (they only came knocking
a couple of times). We turned on the TV or the radio just enough, but so
that we could still hear them.
I would think that if you talk to your son about the time you and dh need
together he would understand and be very supportive. It will take some time
for you to feel comfortable and maybe some tweaking. Talk about safety
issues a lot too. Maybe buy a baby monitor until you feel more comfortable.
Children have an amazing capacity to understand and have sympathy for our
concerns, especially if approached in the right way.
PS-Dh started working days just last week for the first time in 2 years. He
was surprised to find out that the kids didn't have a bed time. I was very
happy when we all transitioned so well. The kids were used to going to their
rooms to do quiet activities and I realized that they enjoyed this time to
unwind as much as I did.
HTH,
Dawn
_____
My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
Betsy
_____
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
_____
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
the only time I had to relax by myself and unwind. This time was very
precious to me. I explained this to my dc, 7 & 9 and they totally
understood. We came up with the solution that when it got to be about 10:00
I would ask them to go get ready for bed but they knew that that didn't mean
they had to go to bed. They stayed up and watched TV or played comp. games,
read, played in their rooms, etc. They always tried to be quiet. After a few
weeks of this I got comfortable enough to go to sleep when they were still
up (they are both night owls and I'm not). We talked a lot about safety
issues too. About sex- With dh working nights, the only time we could have
sex was during the day. We waited until they were busy with their own things
and told them we'd be in our room if they needed us (they only came knocking
a couple of times). We turned on the TV or the radio just enough, but so
that we could still hear them.
I would think that if you talk to your son about the time you and dh need
together he would understand and be very supportive. It will take some time
for you to feel comfortable and maybe some tweaking. Talk about safety
issues a lot too. Maybe buy a baby monitor until you feel more comfortable.
Children have an amazing capacity to understand and have sympathy for our
concerns, especially if approached in the right way.
PS-Dh started working days just last week for the first time in 2 years. He
was surprised to find out that the kids didn't have a bed time. I was very
happy when we all transitioned so well. The kids were used to going to their
rooms to do quiet activities and I realized that they enjoyed this time to
unwind as much as I did.
HTH,
Dawn
_____
My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
Betsy
_____
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
_____
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
<<cuts into our adult time and sex life..>>
We have 5 children. I have finally quit worrying about if the kids
hear us, not that I'm verbalizing with abandon, but dh and I are sexual
being, the kids are sexual beings....it is very normal and good for us
to be having sex. I am not parading it in front of my kids but I'm not
ashamed and embarrassed of it either. The kids know I defecate and
urinate and have sex and eat and breathe.....all very basic body
functions.
Julie S.
We have 5 children. I have finally quit worrying about if the kids
hear us, not that I'm verbalizing with abandon, but dh and I are sexual
being, the kids are sexual beings....it is very normal and good for us
to be having sex. I am not parading it in front of my kids but I'm not
ashamed and embarrassed of it either. The kids know I defecate and
urinate and have sex and eat and breathe.....all very basic body
functions.
Julie S.
freepsgal
I am teaching my children that everyone, even moms and dads, need some
alone time every now and then. My children haven't been upset by this
because they too require alone time and have had no problems telling
the rest of us that they're going into their room to be alone for a
while. We tell the kids we'd like some alone time to talk and cuddle
like married people do. We've also gotten a little more flexible and
creative when finding alone time. To be honest, our relationship and
togetherness are even closer now. Mornings are a great time as
everyone is asleep. Sometimes when my DH gets home from work, the
kids are engrossed in a video or game so we can have time alone then.
It was a little strange to loosen up at first, but it just wasn't as
bad as I feared.
Beth M.
alone time every now and then. My children haven't been upset by this
because they too require alone time and have had no problems telling
the rest of us that they're going into their room to be alone for a
while. We tell the kids we'd like some alone time to talk and cuddle
like married people do. We've also gotten a little more flexible and
creative when finding alone time. To be honest, our relationship and
togetherness are even closer now. Mornings are a great time as
everyone is asleep. Sometimes when my DH gets home from work, the
kids are engrossed in a video or game so we can have time alone then.
It was a little strange to loosen up at first, but it just wasn't as
bad as I feared.
Beth M.
susan throssell
hey betsy
I've been unschooling for about the same amount of time as you and my dh and
I are too having to figure out our alone time. We all had a big discussion
the other day about bed times and us wanting some time alone together. My 8
year old was extremely supportive and said he understood that sometimes his
dad and Iwould want some time alone together to have sex.
I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do, but I was astounded at his
respect and complete understanding that adults do this and it felt ok too
for us to be having the discussion.
susan
I've been unschooling for about the same amount of time as you and my dh and
I are too having to figure out our alone time. We all had a big discussion
the other day about bed times and us wanting some time alone together. My 8
year old was extremely supportive and said he understood that sometimes his
dad and Iwould want some time alone together to have sex.
I'm not sure if this was the right thing to do, but I was astounded at his
respect and complete understanding that adults do this and it felt ok too
for us to be having the discussion.
susan
Mother Earth (Tyra)
I really like that answer. THANK YOU!
Peace
Tyra
Peace
Tyra
----- Original Message -----
From: jnjstau@...
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 8:19 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] no bedtime=no parent time?
<<cuts into our adult time and sex life..>>
We have 5 children. I have finally quit worrying about if the kids
hear us, not that I'm verbalizing with abandon, but dh and I are sexual
being, the kids are sexual beings....it is very normal and good for us
to be having sex. I am not parading it in front of my kids but I'm not
ashamed and embarrassed of it either. The kids know I defecate and
urinate and have sex and eat and breathe.....all very basic body
functions.
Julie S.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Tina
<We came up with the solution that when it got to be about 10:00
I would ask them to go get ready for bed but they knew that that
didn't mean they had to go to bed. They stayed up and watched TV or
played comp. games, read, played in their rooms, etc. They always
tried to be quiet.>
This is the same thing we do in our family. The kids go upstairs at
10PM and are free to stay up as long as they wish as long as they are
respectful to others in the house. Also, this is VERY flexible. It's
almost 10:30PM, and the boys are in the living room watching Most
Extreme on TiVo...mind you the living room is right outside my
bedroom, so it's not my favorite place for people to be when I'm
trying to go to sleep. The kids all have TV's in their rooms, big
change in philosophy for me, so it makes those late nights easy. They
can watch something on live TV, a video or DVD or play a video game
together or alone.
The key is to respect those you live with by being quiet. It's taken
some time, but we have gotten used to it. Also, we are respectful of
those sleeping in in the morning. I don't wake the kids up unless we
have previously planned something or they have specifically asked me
to do so. As was mentioned on earlier posts, the teens seem to go
through a going to be late, sleeping in late thing. All my HSers have
done it. They must need it.
Tina
I would ask them to go get ready for bed but they knew that that
didn't mean they had to go to bed. They stayed up and watched TV or
played comp. games, read, played in their rooms, etc. They always
tried to be quiet.>
This is the same thing we do in our family. The kids go upstairs at
10PM and are free to stay up as long as they wish as long as they are
respectful to others in the house. Also, this is VERY flexible. It's
almost 10:30PM, and the boys are in the living room watching Most
Extreme on TiVo...mind you the living room is right outside my
bedroom, so it's not my favorite place for people to be when I'm
trying to go to sleep. The kids all have TV's in their rooms, big
change in philosophy for me, so it makes those late nights easy. They
can watch something on live TV, a video or DVD or play a video game
together or alone.
The key is to respect those you live with by being quiet. It's taken
some time, but we have gotten used to it. Also, we are respectful of
those sleeping in in the morning. I don't wake the kids up unless we
have previously planned something or they have specifically asked me
to do so. As was mentioned on earlier posts, the teens seem to go
through a going to be late, sleeping in late thing. All my HSers have
done it. They must need it.
Tina
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: jsnhawkins <jsnhawkins@...>
My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
-=-=-=-=-
If you're not loud enough to wake him when he's upstairs asleep you're
probably not too loud when he's downstairs awake.
He's ten. Let him know you need time alone together.
He's ten. He should know enough about the birds and bees to realize
that his parents need some time together. Sex is a healthy bodily
function---just like eating and sneezing and pooping. Be open and
honest. Ask for alone time.
And it doesn't have to be *just* for sex---it can be to discuss your
day or issues with work or in-laws or whatever.
We tell our boys we'd like to be alone for a bit. Duncan (10) knows not
to disturb us. He's usually too engaged in whatever he's doing to worry
about us anyway!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
From: jsnhawkins <jsnhawkins@...>
My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance
these things. Any suggestions?
-=-=-=-=-
If you're not loud enough to wake him when he's upstairs asleep you're
probably not too loud when he's downstairs awake.
He's ten. Let him know you need time alone together.
He's ten. He should know enough about the birds and bees to realize
that his parents need some time together. Sex is a healthy bodily
function---just like eating and sneezing and pooping. Be open and
honest. Ask for alone time.
And it doesn't have to be *just* for sex---it can be to discuss your
day or issues with work or in-laws or whatever.
We tell our boys we'd like to be alone for a bit. Duncan (10) knows not
to disturb us. He's usually too engaged in whatever he's doing to worry
about us anyway!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
"The hardest problem for the brain is not learning, but forgetting. No
matter how hard we try, we can't deliberately forget something we have
learned, and that is catastrophic if we learn that we can't learn."
~Frank Smith
Deb
Why not go to bed at your normal time and you and DH get up early
while the kid is still sacked out for your private time. Sometimes,
I'll snuggle with DS so he can fall asleep (he generally falls
asleep in our bed then I move him via his feet and my guiding back
to his room) but signal DH to wake me about half an hour after DS is
asleep so I can take him to his room and THEN we have private time -
I've already had a bit of a nap, so I can be awake for a while
before going back to sleep and DH can sleep in (He's the at home
parent, I'm at work by 8 am Mon-Fri). We also stay up late on
Fridays since I can sleep in on Saturdays. And we have a regularly
planned date night where DS spends a couple of hours at MIL's and DH
and I spend time - sometimes just sitting in the car sharing a 99
cent Coke and talking and listening to music. Sometimes at a movie
or dinner or Starbucks. Sometimes we head home for intimacy.
Whatever. Maybe find a Saturday afternoon where you can trade kids
with a friend (someplace where your child likes to go play) and have
some alone time together. Then the next Saturday they get alone time
and you have a spare kid or two (which often means you'll have some
free time as well since the spare kids will help occupy yours). Even
things like going out for a drive in the evening often end up with
DS taking a power nap in the back seat and DH and I can talk quietly
about things that we need to discuss right away.
Bottom line is being creative with things - private 'couple' time
need not be at "bedtime" all the time. Oh, and, lots of
frequent 'checking in' with each other often works better than
struggling to find a big chunk of time to discuss a whole week's
worth of issues.
--Deb
while the kid is still sacked out for your private time. Sometimes,
I'll snuggle with DS so he can fall asleep (he generally falls
asleep in our bed then I move him via his feet and my guiding back
to his room) but signal DH to wake me about half an hour after DS is
asleep so I can take him to his room and THEN we have private time -
I've already had a bit of a nap, so I can be awake for a while
before going back to sleep and DH can sleep in (He's the at home
parent, I'm at work by 8 am Mon-Fri). We also stay up late on
Fridays since I can sleep in on Saturdays. And we have a regularly
planned date night where DS spends a couple of hours at MIL's and DH
and I spend time - sometimes just sitting in the car sharing a 99
cent Coke and talking and listening to music. Sometimes at a movie
or dinner or Starbucks. Sometimes we head home for intimacy.
Whatever. Maybe find a Saturday afternoon where you can trade kids
with a friend (someplace where your child likes to go play) and have
some alone time together. Then the next Saturday they get alone time
and you have a spare kid or two (which often means you'll have some
free time as well since the spare kids will help occupy yours). Even
things like going out for a drive in the evening often end up with
DS taking a power nap in the back seat and DH and I can talk quietly
about things that we need to discuss right away.
Bottom line is being creative with things - private 'couple' time
need not be at "bedtime" all the time. Oh, and, lots of
frequent 'checking in' with each other often works better than
struggling to find a big chunk of time to discuss a whole week's
worth of issues.
--Deb
Ren Allen
"Bottom line is being creative with things - private 'couple' time
need not be at "bedtime" all the time."
That's for sure!!
My dh is usually tired before the rest of us. Because Jalen and Sierra
sleep in my room, next to the bed, we were always trying to tiptoe
around and be really quiet so dh could sleep after a certain time.
We finally realized how stupid we were being, trying to have all of us
in the same room on different sleep schedules and rearranged
everything. Now, dh can sleep whenever he is tired and we can play and
be on the computer and do what we like as late as we want.
We moved the Queen bed to his office in the basement, hauled Sierra's
single bed in here for me and now there's tons of space in my room and
dh can't hear us at night. GREAT!!
The other side benefit, is we'll have more privacy for alone time down
in his space since the kids never use that area for anything. Cool.
The point is, forget the mainstream models of what "works". Do
whatever works for your family, get creative and try to see that it's
all possibility, not limitations.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
need not be at "bedtime" all the time."
That's for sure!!
My dh is usually tired before the rest of us. Because Jalen and Sierra
sleep in my room, next to the bed, we were always trying to tiptoe
around and be really quiet so dh could sleep after a certain time.
We finally realized how stupid we were being, trying to have all of us
in the same room on different sleep schedules and rearranged
everything. Now, dh can sleep whenever he is tired and we can play and
be on the computer and do what we like as late as we want.
We moved the Queen bed to his office in the basement, hauled Sierra's
single bed in here for me and now there's tons of space in my room and
dh can't hear us at night. GREAT!!
The other side benefit, is we'll have more privacy for alone time down
in his space since the kids never use that area for anything. Cool.
The point is, forget the mainstream models of what "works". Do
whatever works for your family, get creative and try to see that it's
all possibility, not limitations.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Deb
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
moms at the break-out session for whole life unschooling with young
kids quoted her very wise 3 yr old, who, when given 2 options for
something, said "There are more choices than that!"
Ah, the things we can learn from our kids! Isn't it great?!
--Deb
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
> The point is, forget the mainstream models of what "works". DoAt the Northeast Unschooling conference this past weekend, one of the
> whatever works for your family, get creative and try to see that it's
> all possibility, not limitations.
>
moms at the break-out session for whole life unschooling with young
kids quoted her very wise 3 yr old, who, when given 2 options for
something, said "There are more choices than that!"
Ah, the things we can learn from our kids! Isn't it great?!
--Deb
[email protected]
<<My DS is 10 and we've been unschooling for about 2 mths. I researched
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance>>
Early morning is our best time. We are both rested and I know that there is
no chance either child will be awake at 6:00 am unless they have never gone
to bed. Ours are 13 and 16 now but ever since they were much younger, we have
closed the door when we want private time. Also, we really do like to take
naps if we have time during the weekend and the kids know it's our time.
They know they can yell or knock if there is a serious problem. I like to keep
our serious discussions out of the bedroom so if we need to talk about
something private, we usually go for a walk together.
We extend that principle of respecting privacy here to everyone. If the
door is closed, we all knock and wait for the person in the room to invite us
in.
I'd suggest trying out some different ideas and with time you'll find what
works best for your family.
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
and read about unschooling for a few months before pulling him from PS
and quickly realized that I liked the whole life unschooling approach.
I had always had an 8:30 bedtime for Connor since he had to be ready
to get on the bus at 6:30. It was never much of a fuss. Now he wants
to stay up late, sometimes to play family games, sometimes to play
playstation, etc, etc. The time he goes to bed is not really a problem
for me. The thing is, I'm finding that it drastically cuts into the
time that DH and I have to talk just as adults as well as our sex
life. I have a hard time getting in the mood when I know that DS is
downstairs awake and probably hearing us. I don't know how to balance>>
Early morning is our best time. We are both rested and I know that there is
no chance either child will be awake at 6:00 am unless they have never gone
to bed. Ours are 13 and 16 now but ever since they were much younger, we have
closed the door when we want private time. Also, we really do like to take
naps if we have time during the weekend and the kids know it's our time.
They know they can yell or knock if there is a serious problem. I like to keep
our serious discussions out of the bedroom so if we need to talk about
something private, we usually go for a walk together.
We extend that principle of respecting privacy here to everyone. If the
door is closed, we all knock and wait for the person in the room to invite us
in.
I'd suggest trying out some different ideas and with time you'll find what
works best for your family.
Gail
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
LOL - I'm laughing because we have 5 kids here too. The 16 yr old is sooo tired of me and my husband making sexual jokes and stuff. She's constantly telling US to go to our room! LOL. The younger ones, ages 7,6, 3, and 1 don't always get that mommy and daddy need time alone. But what we do is tell them (well, mostly the 7 and 6 yr old) that mommy and daddy are going into their room for a while, and then we lock our bedroom door (I don't want the 3 yr old barging in on THAT action!).
We do have a limit on active nighttime activity. By 10 pm everybody needs to be doing something quiet in their room. Usually my 7 yr old ends up reading a story to her two brothers, and I put the one yr old to sleep in my bedroom. My 16 yr old may stay on the computer, which is in the living room, and me and dh head to the bedroom and try to have some type of sex life. It gets a bit difficult with a one year old in the room with you, but we do what we can
Maisha Khalfani
Khalfani Family Adventures
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
EarthSpirit Readings
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
We do have a limit on active nighttime activity. By 10 pm everybody needs to be doing something quiet in their room. Usually my 7 yr old ends up reading a story to her two brothers, and I put the one yr old to sleep in my bedroom. My 16 yr old may stay on the computer, which is in the living room, and me and dh head to the bedroom and try to have some type of sex life. It gets a bit difficult with a one year old in the room with you, but we do what we can
Maisha Khalfani
Khalfani Family Adventures
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
EarthSpirit Readings
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
----- Original Message -----
From: jnjstau@...<mailto:jnjstau@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, May 23, 2006 9:19 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] no bedtime=no parent time?
<<cuts into our adult time and sex life..>>
We have 5 children. I have finally quit worrying about if the kids
hear us, not that I'm verbalizing with abandon, but dh and I are sexual
being, the kids are sexual beings....it is very normal and good for us
to be having sex. I am not parading it in front of my kids but I'm not
ashamed and embarrassed of it either. The kids know I defecate and
urinate and have sex and eat and breathe.....all very basic body
functions.
Julie S.
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