Re: Sometimes his passions make me nervous
Deb Lewis
***I was not embarassed,***
Ok, I'm glad. But you interpreted the looks to mean a negative thing.
***Serriously, I have been his parent long enough to do that and I did
and he shpowed no interest.***
That's cool, but what you typed was: "...he has not eaten despite my
suggestions that maybe he needs to do that..."
You didn't type that you had taken him his favorite food and he had
declined. And if you did take his favorite food and he didn't want to
stop to eat that's normal for a person who is in the flow. Mihaly
Csikszentihalyi has written about "flow" and you can google him or read a
blurb about his book at Amazon. The book is called, (I think) "Flow:
The Psychology of Optimal Experience."
***Mostly I wrote the post not to beliettle him but to illustrate why I
might be nervious and to see if anyone else ever felt nervious or
experianced somthing similer.***
You interpreted his focus and actions as abnormal. If his actions had
been ok with you, if they had seemed normal to you, you wouldn't have
posted in that way. That's ok. Moms get nervous sometimes. People
have tried to help you see that there is nothing wrong with what he did
and nothing wrong with his interest in origami.
You chose to see his interest through a critical lens. That's easy for
parents to do. That's what most parents do. What's not easy is looking
at ourselves and at why we get nervous if our kids seem not quite as
mainstream as we imagine other kids to be. Look at your happy kid and
see what you can do to enjoy his new found interest *with* him, instead
of thinking about why he shouldn't be interested.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Ok, I'm glad. But you interpreted the looks to mean a negative thing.
***Serriously, I have been his parent long enough to do that and I did
and he shpowed no interest.***
That's cool, but what you typed was: "...he has not eaten despite my
suggestions that maybe he needs to do that..."
You didn't type that you had taken him his favorite food and he had
declined. And if you did take his favorite food and he didn't want to
stop to eat that's normal for a person who is in the flow. Mihaly
Csikszentihalyi has written about "flow" and you can google him or read a
blurb about his book at Amazon. The book is called, (I think) "Flow:
The Psychology of Optimal Experience."
***Mostly I wrote the post not to beliettle him but to illustrate why I
might be nervious and to see if anyone else ever felt nervious or
experianced somthing similer.***
You interpreted his focus and actions as abnormal. If his actions had
been ok with you, if they had seemed normal to you, you wouldn't have
posted in that way. That's ok. Moms get nervous sometimes. People
have tried to help you see that there is nothing wrong with what he did
and nothing wrong with his interest in origami.
You chose to see his interest through a critical lens. That's easy for
parents to do. That's what most parents do. What's not easy is looking
at ourselves and at why we get nervous if our kids seem not quite as
mainstream as we imagine other kids to be. Look at your happy kid and
see what you can do to enjoy his new found interest *with* him, instead
of thinking about why he shouldn't be interested.
Deb Lewis
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]