Gushing and a question
Kristie Cochran
I'm a newbie to this list, been here just under two months, and I am
learning SO MUCH! And I'm applying things learned here to my life and
I'm enjoying my kid's so much more!! I'm glad this isn't a traditional
"support" list. I need someone to challenge my actions and my way of
thinking. I'm SO EXCITED about unschooling my boys (almost 5 and
17mo). I so wish I had found this list when I was pressured into
putting my oldest in preschool. I had to fight with Jared every school
morning to get him to go. After I found this list, I was able to
justify why I should take him out of preschool and I did it! He hated
it, it wasn't a good fit for him (he's very spirited, very active, and
sitting at tables just does not work for him), he's a night owl and I
could barely get him up in the mornings to go. So now, he's home and
it's tougher for me, but I'm learning to enjoy him and what HE enjoys.
So, a big THANK YOU to the list owners for this list and challenging me
on a daily basis to live my life joyfully!
Here's my question: My oldest son, Jared, is a night owl like me. My
DH is an early to bed, early to rise kind of guy. My second son is more
like my DH. He likes to get up early. So, the past couple of nights
Jared and I have been up really late (much later than normal), past
midnight. I don't have a problem with it, but my DH does. Jared has
*always* been like this, from the day he was born, so it's nothing new
around here. Of course, the other guys my DH works with have kids that
were Ferberized and go to bed at 7pm every night. Well, that approach
didn't fly in this house and it never will.
So, the other night I was working late, Jared was up with me and at
12:30am he finally said to me, "Mom, it's time to go to bed." (We all
sleep in the same room. Jared sleeps in a crib sidecarred to our bed,
and Chase sleeps in bed with us since he still nurses at night). So, I
was tired too, so we closed up shop and headed to bed. Jared is loud
(talks loud, walks loud, even though he's barely 30lbs). I reminded
Jared to be quiet and not wake up Daddy and Chase, but Daddy woke up
anyway and looked at me and said angrily, "It's 12:30, why is he still
up?!!" I said, we're going to bed now. So, DH starts up on his, "he's
hyped up on sugar," rant. Well, no, he wasn't hyped up on sugar, and I
told him so. I said,"He's not like you, he's a night owl like me."
Now, how do I respond respectfully to my DH without biting his head off,
like I'd like to do, and I sometimes do? I've sent him links on
unschooling. I've sent him the links to Sandra Dodd's page, Joyce's
page, the unschooling discussion board and links to some other
articles. I know he said what he did out of frustration, out of being
awakened by a loud child, rather than me carrying an asleep child to
bed. This has been an ongoing struggle with us. Sure, I'd like for
Jared to go to bed earlier than his normal 10:30 ~ 11pm, but he
doesn't. I've made peace with it. My DH doesn't bother to help with
any kind of "bedtime routine," and the only time I can get my paid work
done is when Chase is sleeping, so I can't help Jared slow down at
night. He's just one of those kids who talks from the time he wakes in
the morning till the minute he drops off to sleep. If we make him go to
bed before he's ready, lie down with him until he falls asleep, then he
tosses/turns/talks until he drops off (which usually ends up being
around 10:30 pm anyway).
TIA,
Kristie
learning SO MUCH! And I'm applying things learned here to my life and
I'm enjoying my kid's so much more!! I'm glad this isn't a traditional
"support" list. I need someone to challenge my actions and my way of
thinking. I'm SO EXCITED about unschooling my boys (almost 5 and
17mo). I so wish I had found this list when I was pressured into
putting my oldest in preschool. I had to fight with Jared every school
morning to get him to go. After I found this list, I was able to
justify why I should take him out of preschool and I did it! He hated
it, it wasn't a good fit for him (he's very spirited, very active, and
sitting at tables just does not work for him), he's a night owl and I
could barely get him up in the mornings to go. So now, he's home and
it's tougher for me, but I'm learning to enjoy him and what HE enjoys.
So, a big THANK YOU to the list owners for this list and challenging me
on a daily basis to live my life joyfully!
Here's my question: My oldest son, Jared, is a night owl like me. My
DH is an early to bed, early to rise kind of guy. My second son is more
like my DH. He likes to get up early. So, the past couple of nights
Jared and I have been up really late (much later than normal), past
midnight. I don't have a problem with it, but my DH does. Jared has
*always* been like this, from the day he was born, so it's nothing new
around here. Of course, the other guys my DH works with have kids that
were Ferberized and go to bed at 7pm every night. Well, that approach
didn't fly in this house and it never will.
So, the other night I was working late, Jared was up with me and at
12:30am he finally said to me, "Mom, it's time to go to bed." (We all
sleep in the same room. Jared sleeps in a crib sidecarred to our bed,
and Chase sleeps in bed with us since he still nurses at night). So, I
was tired too, so we closed up shop and headed to bed. Jared is loud
(talks loud, walks loud, even though he's barely 30lbs). I reminded
Jared to be quiet and not wake up Daddy and Chase, but Daddy woke up
anyway and looked at me and said angrily, "It's 12:30, why is he still
up?!!" I said, we're going to bed now. So, DH starts up on his, "he's
hyped up on sugar," rant. Well, no, he wasn't hyped up on sugar, and I
told him so. I said,"He's not like you, he's a night owl like me."
Now, how do I respond respectfully to my DH without biting his head off,
like I'd like to do, and I sometimes do? I've sent him links on
unschooling. I've sent him the links to Sandra Dodd's page, Joyce's
page, the unschooling discussion board and links to some other
articles. I know he said what he did out of frustration, out of being
awakened by a loud child, rather than me carrying an asleep child to
bed. This has been an ongoing struggle with us. Sure, I'd like for
Jared to go to bed earlier than his normal 10:30 ~ 11pm, but he
doesn't. I've made peace with it. My DH doesn't bother to help with
any kind of "bedtime routine," and the only time I can get my paid work
done is when Chase is sleeping, so I can't help Jared slow down at
night. He's just one of those kids who talks from the time he wakes in
the morning till the minute he drops off to sleep. If we make him go to
bed before he's ready, lie down with him until he falls asleep, then he
tosses/turns/talks until he drops off (which usually ends up being
around 10:30 pm anyway).
TIA,
Kristie
Ren Allen
"Here's my question: My oldest son, Jared, is a night owl like me. My
DH is an early to bed, early to rise kind of guy. "
Sounds a lot like our home!! Except now we're ALL night owls except
dh. He knows he's outnumbered so he doesn't bug us about it anymore.:)
Can you snuggle up with him when he's sleepy and wait until he's
almost totally out before taking him in the room? That way you're both
going to sleep when you're tired, but not waking dh when entering the
room.
I held Jalen on my lap while watching a movie last night and when he
got droopy eyed, I just made sure he was comfy and he fell asleep in
my arms. 12:30 am isn't so late!! Not around here anyway.
I've got teens that stay up all night lotsa times, so we definitely
don't follow "normal" sleep patterns.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
DH is an early to bed, early to rise kind of guy. "
Sounds a lot like our home!! Except now we're ALL night owls except
dh. He knows he's outnumbered so he doesn't bug us about it anymore.:)
Can you snuggle up with him when he's sleepy and wait until he's
almost totally out before taking him in the room? That way you're both
going to sleep when you're tired, but not waking dh when entering the
room.
I held Jalen on my lap while watching a movie last night and when he
got droopy eyed, I just made sure he was comfy and he fell asleep in
my arms. 12:30 am isn't so late!! Not around here anyway.
I've got teens that stay up all night lotsa times, so we definitely
don't follow "normal" sleep patterns.
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
trektheory
--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
turn into night owls and need to sleep all morning. I've heard (not
here, but haven't heard teen sleep discussion here, either) some
people more or less say that it is a teen thing. But I have my
suspicions otherwise -- I think it is an individual thing, that with
our modern society (electric lights, computers, etc.) to aid it,
makes it more obvious.
My son and I are both morning people. I can't remember not being
on -- even as a teen, and my son, at 14, still is, and has been
since more or less birth. (He used to cluster feed and then conk
out for his "long" (2.5 hours, vs 2...) sleep of the night at 8pm
from when he was a newborn. He used to deny that he was a morning
person, but a few months ago, finally realized that if he wants to
successfully figure out a problem in a game, he is far better off if
he does it in the morning than at 9 at night!
But I also realize that when they hit puberty (and my son hasn't
yet), bodies go through big changes, and the sleep need generally
increases. For those with teens, have you seen changes in sleep
patterns? Particularly if you have/had a morning person kid?
Thanks.
Linda
<starsuncloud@...> wrote:
>Something I've wondered about for ages -- this idea that teens all
> I've got teens that stay up all night lotsa times, so we definitely
> don't follow "normal" sleep patterns.
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
turn into night owls and need to sleep all morning. I've heard (not
here, but haven't heard teen sleep discussion here, either) some
people more or less say that it is a teen thing. But I have my
suspicions otherwise -- I think it is an individual thing, that with
our modern society (electric lights, computers, etc.) to aid it,
makes it more obvious.
My son and I are both morning people. I can't remember not being
on -- even as a teen, and my son, at 14, still is, and has been
since more or less birth. (He used to cluster feed and then conk
out for his "long" (2.5 hours, vs 2...) sleep of the night at 8pm
from when he was a newborn. He used to deny that he was a morning
person, but a few months ago, finally realized that if he wants to
successfully figure out a problem in a game, he is far better off if
he does it in the morning than at 9 at night!
But I also realize that when they hit puberty (and my son hasn't
yet), bodies go through big changes, and the sleep need generally
increases. For those with teens, have you seen changes in sleep
patterns? Particularly if you have/had a morning person kid?
Thanks.
Linda
Kristie Cochran
Hi Ren,
That's normally what happens. Jared snuggles up on the couch near my
computer, tells me he's cold and wants a blanket, and then BAM, he's
out! But for some reason that night he just wanted to go to bed. This
is just one example of how DH and I differ on the kids. Jared is also a
computer and gaming freak (in a good way) at 5. My DH made him into one
(we both have our own computers, I demanded DH build one for Jared when
he was 18mo because he was constantly on mine ~ lol), and he also
insisted we get a Playstation 2 for him for Christmas when I asked to
get him a V-Smile. Now DH complains because Jared spends all of his
time either on his Playstation or on his computer playing games.
Jared's obviously learning lots from these games, and he's also starting
to get his fill as I can entice him outside now, where before he
wouldn't go at all.
I've learned from this list to just let him play his games and not get
uptight about it. I'll tell Jared that I'm taking Chase outside and he
can come if he wants. He just says, "Okay," and then in about 10
minutes he's coming out the door to play a little outside.
Oh, and DH's passions keep him on the computer all the time too, so I
just find it ironic that he gets upset about Jared being on the computer
so much ~ lol
Okay, I think I'm turning this message into more than it was supposed to
be about.
Thanks,
Kristie
Ren Allen wrote:
That's normally what happens. Jared snuggles up on the couch near my
computer, tells me he's cold and wants a blanket, and then BAM, he's
out! But for some reason that night he just wanted to go to bed. This
is just one example of how DH and I differ on the kids. Jared is also a
computer and gaming freak (in a good way) at 5. My DH made him into one
(we both have our own computers, I demanded DH build one for Jared when
he was 18mo because he was constantly on mine ~ lol), and he also
insisted we get a Playstation 2 for him for Christmas when I asked to
get him a V-Smile. Now DH complains because Jared spends all of his
time either on his Playstation or on his computer playing games.
Jared's obviously learning lots from these games, and he's also starting
to get his fill as I can entice him outside now, where before he
wouldn't go at all.
I've learned from this list to just let him play his games and not get
uptight about it. I'll tell Jared that I'm taking Chase outside and he
can come if he wants. He just says, "Okay," and then in about 10
minutes he's coming out the door to play a little outside.
Oh, and DH's passions keep him on the computer all the time too, so I
just find it ironic that he gets upset about Jared being on the computer
so much ~ lol
Okay, I think I'm turning this message into more than it was supposed to
be about.
Thanks,
Kristie
Ren Allen wrote:
> Can you snuggle up with him when he's sleepy and wait until he's
> almost totally out before taking him in the room? That way you're both
> going to sleep when you're tired, but not waking dh when entering the
> room.
>
>
camden
My ds (15) has always been more of a night owl. Right now his usual pattern
of sleep is he stays up till at least midnight, usually 2 or 3 am. He then
sleeps anywhere till 11 am or 1pm. Yes, it took a while for the light to go
off in my brain, have a moment of clarity & realize he was a night owl and
not insist he go to bed when everyone else did ;) It didn't make him go to
sleep any earlier, we just had a grumpy gus in the morning due to lack of
sleep. His sleep pattern changed a couple of years ago when I let go of the
control. I do my best work at night & so does he.
On the other hand I have a ds (16) who is asleep by 10 or so and awake at
7am. Some kids need more sleep than others, my dd (10) is happy with 6 hours
sleep.
Carol ~ who has a much happier son now that he's listening to his body (and
so am I !!)
of sleep is he stays up till at least midnight, usually 2 or 3 am. He then
sleeps anywhere till 11 am or 1pm. Yes, it took a while for the light to go
off in my brain, have a moment of clarity & realize he was a night owl and
not insist he go to bed when everyone else did ;) It didn't make him go to
sleep any earlier, we just had a grumpy gus in the morning due to lack of
sleep. His sleep pattern changed a couple of years ago when I let go of the
control. I do my best work at night & so does he.
On the other hand I have a ds (16) who is asleep by 10 or so and awake at
7am. Some kids need more sleep than others, my dd (10) is happy with 6 hours
sleep.
Carol ~ who has a much happier son now that he's listening to his body (and
so am I !!)
> But I also realize that when they hit puberty (and my son hasn't
> yet), bodies go through big changes, and the sleep need generally
> increases. For those with teens, have you seen changes in sleep
> patterns? Particularly if you have/had a morning person kid?
>
> Thanks.
>
> Linda
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...>
I'm a newbie to this list, been here just under two months, and I am
learning SO MUCH! And I'm applying things learned here to my life and
I'm enjoying my kid's so much more!! I'm glad this isn't a traditional
"support" list. I need someone to challenge my actions and my way of
thinking. I'm SO EXCITED about unschooling my boys (almost 5 and
17mo).
-=-=-=-
I'm so glad!
-=-==-
I so wish I had found this list when I was pressured into
putting my oldest in preschool.
-=-=-=-
I've NEVER heard *anyone* say that she wished she had waited to find
unschooling! <bwg> I wish I'd found it before I'd sent my older son to
eight years of private school!
-=-=-=-=-
So, a big THANK YOU to the list owners for this list and challenging me
on a daily basis to live my life joyfully!
-=-=-
You're welcome---and thank YOU for saying so.
-==-=-=-
Here's my question:
Now, how do I respond respectfully to my DH without biting his head
off,
like I'd like to do, and I sometimes do?
-=-=-=-=-
Breathe deeply! <g>
First, try talking when he's NOT just been awakened. Ask how he would
feel if *made* to stay up all night and *made* to stay in bed until
noon. People are just different, and he shouldn't expect everyone to be
like him.
Ask EXACTLY what it is he dislikes about it. You might be able to
counter specific objections rather than an overall objection.
Plus, we can give you some "ammo" for specifics! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
From: Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...>
I'm a newbie to this list, been here just under two months, and I am
learning SO MUCH! And I'm applying things learned here to my life and
I'm enjoying my kid's so much more!! I'm glad this isn't a traditional
"support" list. I need someone to challenge my actions and my way of
thinking. I'm SO EXCITED about unschooling my boys (almost 5 and
17mo).
-=-=-=-
I'm so glad!
-=-==-
I so wish I had found this list when I was pressured into
putting my oldest in preschool.
-=-=-=-
I've NEVER heard *anyone* say that she wished she had waited to find
unschooling! <bwg> I wish I'd found it before I'd sent my older son to
eight years of private school!
-=-=-=-=-
So, a big THANK YOU to the list owners for this list and challenging me
on a daily basis to live my life joyfully!
-=-=-
You're welcome---and thank YOU for saying so.
-==-=-=-
Here's my question:
Now, how do I respond respectfully to my DH without biting his head
off,
like I'd like to do, and I sometimes do?
-=-=-=-=-
Breathe deeply! <g>
First, try talking when he's NOT just been awakened. Ask how he would
feel if *made* to stay up all night and *made* to stay in bed until
noon. People are just different, and he shouldn't expect everyone to be
like him.
Ask EXACTLY what it is he dislikes about it. You might be able to
counter specific objections rather than an overall objection.
Plus, we can give you some "ammo" for specifics! <g>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: trektheory <trektheory@...>
Something I've wondered about for ages -- this idea that teens all
turn into night owls and need to sleep all morning. I've heard (not
here, but haven't heard teen sleep discussion here, either) some
people more or less say that it is a teen thing. But I have my
suspicions otherwise -- I think it is an individual thing, that with
our modern society (electric lights, computers, etc.) to aid it,
makes it more obvious.
-=-=-=-
I think it certainly IS an individual thing. But it seems that *most*
teens DO change their clocks to more of a night owl schedule somewhere
around puberty. Someone speculated on another list a couple of weeks
ago that maybe teens were the ones who had "guard duty" eons ago! <g>
But I saw it first hand with my now 18 year old. He was an
up-with-the-dawn kid up until puberty.
Now, he estimates how much rest he may need for the following day's
activities.
-=-=-=-
My son and I are both morning people. I can't remember not being
on -- even as a teen, and my son, at 14, still is, and has been
since more or less birth. (He used to cluster feed and then conk
out for his "long" (2.5 hours, vs 2...) sleep of the night at 8pm
from when he was a newborn. He used to deny that he was a morning
person, but a few months ago, finally realized that if he wants to
successfully figure out a problem in a game, he is far better off if
he does it in the morning than at 9 at night!
-=-=-=-
I've fluctuated throughout my life. Sometimes up really, really
early---like now, at 6:00am. Sometimes staying up late---'til 2-3:00
and sleeping until noon.
Cameron (18), even as a newborn, would wake at 7:00, eat, go back to
nap from 9-11:00. Wake up, eat, play, back down for a nap from 1-4:00.
Wake, eat, play, go back to bed at 7:00pm and sleep straight through
except to roll over to nurse until 7:00am. Like clockwork---two naps
(totalling 5 hours!) and a 12 hour night every day! He still needs a
minimum of 10 hours every night---often taking an afternoon nap. Duncan
(10) has always needed less sleep. He can already get by with 8-9
hours/day.
-=-=-=-=-
But I also realize that when they hit puberty (and my son hasn't
yet), bodies go through big changes, and the sleep need generally
increases. For those with teens, have you seen changes in sleep
patterns? Particularly if you have/had a morning person kid?
-=-=-=
Yes. Cameron needed LOTS more sleep (hard to believe, huh? <g>). We
joked that, like a toddler, he was growing so fast that he slept
through puberty! Before, he would be up with the sun, every morning.
And he would sleep when it was dark, so he slept more in winter than in
summer. At puberty, he wrapped his schedule so that he was asleep
almost all day, and up just a few hours/night.
He's 18 now, and just said yesterday that he felt he needed to try for
another hour or so each night. The cool thing is that he KNOWS what he
needs sleep-wise because he has figured out what feels right and what
feels off. School wouldn't have helped wih that realization!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
From: trektheory <trektheory@...>
Something I've wondered about for ages -- this idea that teens all
turn into night owls and need to sleep all morning. I've heard (not
here, but haven't heard teen sleep discussion here, either) some
people more or less say that it is a teen thing. But I have my
suspicions otherwise -- I think it is an individual thing, that with
our modern society (electric lights, computers, etc.) to aid it,
makes it more obvious.
-=-=-=-
I think it certainly IS an individual thing. But it seems that *most*
teens DO change their clocks to more of a night owl schedule somewhere
around puberty. Someone speculated on another list a couple of weeks
ago that maybe teens were the ones who had "guard duty" eons ago! <g>
But I saw it first hand with my now 18 year old. He was an
up-with-the-dawn kid up until puberty.
Now, he estimates how much rest he may need for the following day's
activities.
-=-=-=-
My son and I are both morning people. I can't remember not being
on -- even as a teen, and my son, at 14, still is, and has been
since more or less birth. (He used to cluster feed and then conk
out for his "long" (2.5 hours, vs 2...) sleep of the night at 8pm
from when he was a newborn. He used to deny that he was a morning
person, but a few months ago, finally realized that if he wants to
successfully figure out a problem in a game, he is far better off if
he does it in the morning than at 9 at night!
-=-=-=-
I've fluctuated throughout my life. Sometimes up really, really
early---like now, at 6:00am. Sometimes staying up late---'til 2-3:00
and sleeping until noon.
Cameron (18), even as a newborn, would wake at 7:00, eat, go back to
nap from 9-11:00. Wake up, eat, play, back down for a nap from 1-4:00.
Wake, eat, play, go back to bed at 7:00pm and sleep straight through
except to roll over to nurse until 7:00am. Like clockwork---two naps
(totalling 5 hours!) and a 12 hour night every day! He still needs a
minimum of 10 hours every night---often taking an afternoon nap. Duncan
(10) has always needed less sleep. He can already get by with 8-9
hours/day.
-=-=-=-=-
But I also realize that when they hit puberty (and my son hasn't
yet), bodies go through big changes, and the sleep need generally
increases. For those with teens, have you seen changes in sleep
patterns? Particularly if you have/had a morning person kid?
-=-=-=
Yes. Cameron needed LOTS more sleep (hard to believe, huh? <g>). We
joked that, like a toddler, he was growing so fast that he slept
through puberty! Before, he would be up with the sun, every morning.
And he would sleep when it was dark, so he slept more in winter than in
summer. At puberty, he wrapped his schedule so that he was asleep
almost all day, and up just a few hours/night.
He's 18 now, and just said yesterday that he felt he needed to try for
another hour or so each night. The cool thing is that he KNOWS what he
needs sleep-wise because he has figured out what feels right and what
feels off. School wouldn't have helped wih that realization!
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/14/06, Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote:
tend to "smack myself about" is that Emily was born a night owl. Not your
typical newborn "confused about night and day" type night owl, but truly a
night owl. Did her best sleeping from about 3am to 10am (if she was allowed
to). I fought that for so many years, trying to get her to conform to a
"normal" schedule. Her creativity starts sparking at around midnight. She
does her best writing at that hour. She'll crawl into bed around 3 am or
sometimes as late as 5 am. If there is somewhere she wants to go the next
day she will decide whether or not to go to bed earlier or whether to live
without rested sleep (or decide in the morning not to go.) And I'm fine
with that ....... now.
Mary Elayne is probably the one that I would say is most to the societal
norm. She goes to bed around 11:30 or so and is up by 8 or 8:30 usually.
She's always been that way. From birth. When she was a baby past when she
weaned at 3, I used to joke that her lulla-bye was the theme music to Star
Trek: Deep Space Nine as that was when she did her big "sleepy nursing" each
night. It played in reruns after the news each night and by 10:35 she was
out!
Keon is a morning person. He is up with the sun whether he has had 3 hours
of sleep or 10 hours of sleep. He does his best thinking at that time of
the day, can conquer obstacles, solve problems, and can be talked to about
things that might be upsetting him in his life best from 5am to about 10am.
He also has been like that since he was a baby.
It was rough for a few years when I had one that I was "fighting with" past
midnight and another that was up at the crack of dawn wanting my attention.
HOw I wish I had had the ability to trust that Emily would get the sleep she
needed and staying up with Daddy was an ok thing rather than the tears we
both shed so many nights over "needing to go to sleep" and "not being
tired."
Too bad we don't live in a society that honors that people have different
cycles sometimes at different times in their lives. I can much more relate
to Keon's cycles than Emily's because I used to not be able to sleep if the
sun was up. Even today if I wake up and recognize that the sun is up my
brain sends a signal that it is time to wake up. I sometimes wonder if the
moon has the same effect on Emily. But think how much happier people would
be if they could work or create or dream or rest when their bodies were
ready rather than when a clock told them to.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>I'm usually in bed long before the girls. What I've noticed and something I
>
>
> I've got teens that stay up all night lotsa times, so we definitely
> don't follow "normal" sleep patterns.
tend to "smack myself about" is that Emily was born a night owl. Not your
typical newborn "confused about night and day" type night owl, but truly a
night owl. Did her best sleeping from about 3am to 10am (if she was allowed
to). I fought that for so many years, trying to get her to conform to a
"normal" schedule. Her creativity starts sparking at around midnight. She
does her best writing at that hour. She'll crawl into bed around 3 am or
sometimes as late as 5 am. If there is somewhere she wants to go the next
day she will decide whether or not to go to bed earlier or whether to live
without rested sleep (or decide in the morning not to go.) And I'm fine
with that ....... now.
Mary Elayne is probably the one that I would say is most to the societal
norm. She goes to bed around 11:30 or so and is up by 8 or 8:30 usually.
She's always been that way. From birth. When she was a baby past when she
weaned at 3, I used to joke that her lulla-bye was the theme music to Star
Trek: Deep Space Nine as that was when she did her big "sleepy nursing" each
night. It played in reruns after the news each night and by 10:35 she was
out!
Keon is a morning person. He is up with the sun whether he has had 3 hours
of sleep or 10 hours of sleep. He does his best thinking at that time of
the day, can conquer obstacles, solve problems, and can be talked to about
things that might be upsetting him in his life best from 5am to about 10am.
He also has been like that since he was a baby.
It was rough for a few years when I had one that I was "fighting with" past
midnight and another that was up at the crack of dawn wanting my attention.
HOw I wish I had had the ability to trust that Emily would get the sleep she
needed and staying up with Daddy was an ok thing rather than the tears we
both shed so many nights over "needing to go to sleep" and "not being
tired."
Too bad we don't live in a society that honors that people have different
cycles sometimes at different times in their lives. I can much more relate
to Keon's cycles than Emily's because I used to not be able to sleep if the
sun was up. Even today if I wake up and recognize that the sun is up my
brain sends a signal that it is time to wake up. I sometimes wonder if the
moon has the same effect on Emily. But think how much happier people would
be if they could work or create or dream or rest when their bodies were
ready rather than when a clock told them to.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Kiersten Pasciak
> -----Original Message-----head
> From: Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...>
> Here's my question:
> Now, how do I respond respectfully to my DH without biting his
> off,Kristie,
> like I'd like to do, and I sometimes do?
I haven't gotten throught the whole thread yet, so if someone has
said this already, please ignore.
We go through bouts of this in our home. Our kids are up late too
and dh is the only one with an actual schedule who has to go to
work. I think it is difficult for him to be the one on the schedule
and not get down time (or cave time as it's called in the Mars/Venus
books) Beyond needing time at home ALONE (which many of the dh's
rarely get when kids stay up late) I think some husbands wish for
more spouse time too. His frustration may really mean he wants more
time with you. He may feel like the kids are getting all of the
attention (and time)
Just a thought...
Kiersten
mom to Jacob (4 1/2) and Emma (almost 3)
Melissa
My dad, stepmom and I were just discussing this over dinner. I have a
lot of trouble sleeping right now, and part of it is that I am a
night owl. I start to recover consciousness around noon, and come
alive by 3pm. I love my time after 6pm, and usually cannot sleep
before midnight. I prefer around 2am. My dad has been a third shift
worker my entire life, he has consistently chosen jobs in which he
could (nurse, graphic designer, artist, webpage designer). For the
first time ever, tonight, my stepmom compared our childhood, neither
of us ever slept as children at night. I didn't know that about him!
It's so funny, because really, as a teenager I didn't desire to sleep
more at night, I just became rebellious enough against my mom (she
had primary custody) to fight it. I think maybe that's the
difference, I was finally 'big' enough to not be told I have to be in
bed by 9pm. I think a lot of times that's where the myth comes in.
Josh and Emily are night people. They stay up with me, and often way
after me. They sleep in. They are happy. Rachel and Sam are both kids
that know their needs, and go to bed earlier. They also get up at the
buttcrack o' dawn....hence my problem NOW with the lack of sleep. I
go to bed around 2am, and I'm up at 6am. Sigh....someday I'll get to
sleep. lol!
But someone told me last week that I'm 'allowing my kids to learn
dysfunctional behavior'. I said, "You have got to be kidding! My
stepmom is a 3rd shift nurse, and she makes time and a half, plus
bonus for signing up for the shifts that no one else wants!" There
will always be jobs for people who want to be up at night, there are
always classes for people who want to go to college, and there are
always options for people who want to live their lives in a manner
which suits their personality!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
lot of trouble sleeping right now, and part of it is that I am a
night owl. I start to recover consciousness around noon, and come
alive by 3pm. I love my time after 6pm, and usually cannot sleep
before midnight. I prefer around 2am. My dad has been a third shift
worker my entire life, he has consistently chosen jobs in which he
could (nurse, graphic designer, artist, webpage designer). For the
first time ever, tonight, my stepmom compared our childhood, neither
of us ever slept as children at night. I didn't know that about him!
It's so funny, because really, as a teenager I didn't desire to sleep
more at night, I just became rebellious enough against my mom (she
had primary custody) to fight it. I think maybe that's the
difference, I was finally 'big' enough to not be told I have to be in
bed by 9pm. I think a lot of times that's where the myth comes in.
Josh and Emily are night people. They stay up with me, and often way
after me. They sleep in. They are happy. Rachel and Sam are both kids
that know their needs, and go to bed earlier. They also get up at the
buttcrack o' dawn....hence my problem NOW with the lack of sleep. I
go to bed around 2am, and I'm up at 6am. Sigh....someday I'll get to
sleep. lol!
But someone told me last week that I'm 'allowing my kids to learn
dysfunctional behavior'. I said, "You have got to be kidding! My
stepmom is a 3rd shift nurse, and she makes time and a half, plus
bonus for signing up for the shifts that no one else wants!" There
will always be jobs for people who want to be up at night, there are
always classes for people who want to go to college, and there are
always options for people who want to live their lives in a manner
which suits their personality!
Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose
share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma
On May 14, 2006, at 4:21 PM, trektheory wrote:
>
> Something I've wondered about for ages -- this idea that teens all
> turn into night owls and need to sleep all morning. I've heard (not
> here, but haven't heard teen sleep discussion here, either) some
> people more or less say that it is a teen thing. But I have my
> suspicions otherwise -- I think it is an individual thing, that with
> our modern society (electric lights, computers, etc.) to aid it,
> makes it more obvious.
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/14/06, Kristie Cochran <kristiecochran@...> wrote:
want to stay up so blinkin' late :-) Don't worry. Since unschooling is new
to you and I'm presuming that your partner works out of the house and isn't
around all day that it will take longer for him to see how unschooling is a
good fit for your family.
How to respond to him? I would remind him that there are 3 things that we
*can't* make a child do: eat, sleep and eliminate. You can present a child
with food, a bed and a toilet but it is up to them to physically do those
things (aside from medical intervention). Just because your son is in bed
doesn't mean that he will sleep nor sleep restfully. He'll get it
eventually.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>Those of us that are morning people just don't understand why "you people"
> Now, how do I respond respectfully to my DH without biting his head off,
> like I'd like to do, and I sometimes do?
want to stay up so blinkin' late :-) Don't worry. Since unschooling is new
to you and I'm presuming that your partner works out of the house and isn't
around all day that it will take longer for him to see how unschooling is a
good fit for your family.
How to respond to him? I would remind him that there are 3 things that we
*can't* make a child do: eat, sleep and eliminate. You can present a child
with food, a bed and a toilet but it is up to them to physically do those
things (aside from medical intervention). Just because your son is in bed
doesn't mean that he will sleep nor sleep restfully. He'll get it
eventually.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]