ANGELA BERRY

Hello Everyone,

I believe since all of us are different in so many ways we all can read a post and all get the point in different views. When someones is "asking for help" then they should be able to read what helps them and delete what does not! I have been to another group where I was not asking for help and posted "curriculum for sale" and that started a whole topic of debate. Of Course I felt bad for pulling out all this advice and it seemed it was a "sore spot" in some of the responses with people too. Even though it wasn't directed at "me" it was from what I posted.

I am sensitive and seems I need everything suggested in a "sweet" or "polite" manner. I am working on that part. BUT I still don't understand why when people respond it has to be sounding like a "pointing finger" discussion. Example: the "you" messages. Instead of telling their opinions with a suggestive manner.

I have enjoyed this groups readings so far and have seen this type of discussion and am amazed at all the different parenting styles.

Question: IF someone is exploring Unschooling and is not on the same page as others should that person stay on this list?

Reason for this question is that I myself have been homeschooling and changing to "unschooling" since I had my two girls and always had the idea of parenting with respect and treating them like "humans" BUT (never in my dreams could imagine it turning into such a beautiful thing and how nice our days go and how easy most are with living our lives and enjoying time, play, exploring together.) I still have "workbooks" and coloring books and etc on my shelves........No we have not done them in a very, very long time its just where we were in that time and path of feeling out where we wanted to go? Maybe this is what people talk about when parents have to "deschool" themselves. So it is hard to ask questions and knowing where "you" are as you are writing it then to get a response back from someone who is SO confident doesn't quit respond with "ideas" it sounds like "stone" instead.

smiles~ Angela



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: ANGELA BERRY <berryajj@...>

Question: IF someone is exploring Unschooling and is not on the same
page as
others should that person stay on this list?

-=-=-=-

If I am exploring vegetarianism but am not on the same page as others,
should I stay on a vegetarian list?

You bet. I could still gather a LOT of information on vegetarianism
and collect a bunch of recipes. I could find ways of incorporating
vegetarian practices in my home and STILL have a burger on Thursday
nights and bacon on Sunday mornings. I could possibly meet some local
vegetarians and share a *vegetarian* potluck with them.

BUT! It wouldn't be quite kosher for me to keep piping up with posts
about stuffing venison sausages and about my trips to the butcher's.

SO, if you're still working on it, applying what you can when you can,
and taking baby steps on those things which are harder for you, PLEASE
stay. If you're going to tell the list how NOT to unschool, you can
write (we can't stop you! <bwg>), but please don't hit 'send'.

None of us are strangers to debates (duh! <g>) and or to serious,
thought-provoking questions (that's what got us here in the first
place!). But to argue that what we're suggesting is wrong for your
family---well, neither we nor the rest of the list need to know what
*won't* work for *you* for whatever reason. Keep that to yourself. Let
others take what they can use---it might benefit someone else who is
further along.


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Melissa

Hi Angela...
Interesting thoughts. I wanted to throw my two pennies in the pot on
the question. What I've noticed in the months since i've joined is
that there are several groups of people on the lists for unschooling.
Some are long timers in the radical unschooling, and have so much
experience. Others are earnestly trying to learn more about
unschooling and decide if they want to start. Some (like me) throw
themselves headlong into it and learn about it as they go, and then
there are those people. The ones who join the list not to explore
unschooling, but to try to question and criticize others' choices in
an attempt to break them down. I have seen maybe half a dozen in six
months? It gets old fast, and for those who are earnestly trying to
learn and live this life, it DOES break them down and tear down their
self confidence. I personally don't appreciate that on a list where
I'm spending my very limited free time in trying to learn and feel
not so alone!

Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose

share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma



On May 13, 2006, at 11:44 AM, ANGELA BERRY wrote:

>
> Question: IF someone is exploring Unschooling and is not on the
> same page as others should that person stay on this list?
>

Joyce Fetteroll

On May 13, 2006, at 12:44 PM, ANGELA BERRY wrote:

> IF someone is exploring Unschooling and is not on the same page as
> others should that person stay on this list?

If someone is looking for words of support for what they're doing and
where they are, then this list won't be a good fit for them. If
someone is looking for a coffee klatch of unschooling women to swap
how they do things with and chat about life, this list won't be a
good fit for them.

If someone is looking for ideas on how to change what they're doing
and how they're viewing the world in order to move closer to
unschooling then this list will be a good fit.

On a support list, people can share everything they're doing and get
sympathy and support for the difficulties of parenting. They can say
"Math still scares me so we're still doing workbooks for that," and
people will respond with "I know what you mean. Here's some workbooks
that are a little more unschooly and some other ideas that worked for
us."

A discussion list (as this one is), on the other hand, is for sharing
things people want to fix, want a different insight on. And others
will offer advice *that will move someone closer to unschooling*.
*Not* just fix the problem, but help them move towards full on
unschooling.

One thing that seems like a slap in the face to new members who join
expecting a support list is when they offer"here's what works for our
family" for someone else's problem and their own advice gets held up
for examination. They were just trying to help but suddenly the spot
light is on them and they're being questioned and examined. They
weren't seeking help. They were trying to offer it.

But on a discussion list the spot light isn't on them. It's on the
ideas and whether they're passing the simple test: "Will this help
someone move towards unschooling."

So if you're looking for a place where you can jump in and start
offering what works for your family, the list won't be a good fit. If
you're looking for a place where you can lay out a problem you're
having and get new insight and new ideas, this is a good list for that.

Joyce
Answers to common unschooling questions:
http://home.earthlink.net/~fetteroll/rejoycing/
Blog of writing prompts for speculative fiction writers:
http://dragonwritingprompts.blogsome.com/




[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Momma

On May 13, 2006, at 12:44 PM, ANGELA BERRY wrote:

> IF someone is exploring Unschooling and is not on the same page as
> others should that person stay on this list?



I think the question should not be "should that person stay on this list?"
but "should that person be posting advice to this list?"

Stay and absorb. Ask questions. If the advice you have is not in line with
unschooling maybe you should let the more experienced have a crack at it. If
people are here to learn about unschooling then that is the advice they
should be receiving.

Dawn



_____



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

trektheory

--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: ANGELA BERRY <berryajj@...>
>
> Question: IF someone is exploring Unschooling and is not on the
same
> page as
> others should that person stay on this list?
>
> -=-=-=-
>
> If I am exploring vegetarianism but am not on the same page as
others,
> should I stay on a vegetarian list?
>
> You bet. I could still gather a LOT of information on
vegetarianism
> and collect a bunch of recipes. I could find ways of incorporating
> vegetarian practices in my home and STILL have a burger on
Thursday
> nights and bacon on Sunday mornings. I could possibly meet some
local
> vegetarians and share a *vegetarian* potluck with them.
>
> BUT! It wouldn't be quite kosher for me to keep piping up with
posts
> about stuffing venison sausages and about my trips to the
butcher's.


I like this analogy. I'd like to take it a step further. If you
are on an vegetarian list, maybe not a vegetarian, but hoping to
glean some things from it. Perhaps a large number of people on the
list are vegans, and when you post something about eggs or milk,
they pile on comments of veganism (okay, I'm not sure if veganism is
a real word...), that would also be inappropriate. Many vegetarians
eat eggs or dairy. It would only be inappropriate, though, to post
recipes with eggs or dairy if it was a vegan list, not a generic
vegetarian list.

Linda

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: trektheory <trektheory@...>

I like this analogy. I'd like to take it a step further. If you
are on an vegetarian list, maybe not a vegetarian, but hoping to
glean some things from it. Perhaps a large number of people on the
list are vegans, and when you post something about eggs or milk,
they pile on comments of veganism (okay, I'm not sure if veganism is
a real word...), that would also be inappropriate. Many vegetarians
eat eggs or dairy. It would only be inappropriate, though, to post
recipes with eggs or dairy if it was a vegan list, not a generic
vegetarian list.

-=-=-

OK, This is a VEGAN list. Nothing generic homeschooling or even
generic unschooling about it. The list owners and the moderators are
all radical unschoolers.

We (and many others) are here to help beginners understand the
unschooling philosophy as it pertains to all of life/living. Says so in
our list description.

If you are interested in joining us, please stay. If you insist on
complaining about how it's done here, please feel free to leave and
join other lists where *anything goes*. If none of those suit, make
your own.

No one's twisting your arm to stay here. I'm tired of the bitching.



~Kelly, listowner

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi

trektheory

--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: trektheory <trektheory@...>
>
> I like this analogy. I'd like to take it a step further. If you
> are on an vegetarian list, maybe not a vegetarian, but hoping to
> glean some things from it. Perhaps a large number of people on the
> list are vegans, and when you post something about eggs or milk,
> they pile on comments of veganism (okay, I'm not sure if veganism
is
> a real word...), that would also be inappropriate. Many
vegetarians
> eat eggs or dairy. It would only be inappropriate, though, to post
> recipes with eggs or dairy if it was a vegan list, not a generic
> vegetarian list.
>
> -=-=-
>
> OK, This is a VEGAN list. Nothing generic homeschooling or even
> generic unschooling about it. The list owners and the moderators
are
> all radical unschoolers.
>
But the list description doesn't say vegan, says vegetarian. That's
where I'm coming from -- and I haven't even complained about what
has been said to/at me, but to others.

I will now drop it, 'kay?

Linda