Angela Berry

I also have a dd that hits, pinches, bites and she is very well
spoken for her age as well. The pinching and biting has stopped now
and was a very short time in her growth. I have met a few parents
with kids that bite very violently. My dd was bit on the nose so
hard she bleed it was a very sad day for us!!

I agree with some moms that referred to it as communication issue.
I know u mentioned it was not but hear this idea, even though she is
very bright for her age and speaks well the FEELINGS that she might
be feeling are not easy for her to understand or communicate them
out loud yet. I would really look at the whole 20min before she was
playing and also listen to the boys that she was poking with the
stick maybe things were said or they were not playing with her when
she wanted their undivided attention????? I see my youngest dd push
and hit my 6yod everyday over FEELINGS she can't explain at her age
of 3. She is very bright also and it is easier for kids to use
their "tools" of hands, teeth, etc when they don't know how to
EXPRESS feelings. Does this make sense even though she talks well?
Its just a growing development that a 2 1/2 or even 3 yo has to
accomplish.

On big advice or idea is watch her every step and listen to the kids
playing. Maybe she gets very done early and needs new interaction.
About the time of brushing teeth was she just "done" for the day and
it was past her tolerant time of the day? Just a thought for ya?

smiles~angela

trektheory

--- In [email protected], "Angela Berry"
<berryajj@...> wrote:

> I agree with some moms that referred to it as communication issue.
> I know u mentioned it was not but hear this idea, even though she is
> very bright for her age and speaks well the FEELINGS that she might
> be feeling are not easy for her to understand or communicate them
> out loud yet.

I was going to touch on this, too, but got side-tracked earlier. My
son was very verbal by 2, and it was hard to understand sometimes that
such a strongly verbal kid could have such trouble communicating! But
I noticed that he really really had trouble with negative emotions --
just tried not to acknowledge them. They were there, but he wasn't
mature enough to deal with them, I guess. Watch for triggers, and
also voice what you suspect her feelings might be. It's easy for a
child to learn words, but sometimes, the true meanings are harder, and
even harder to realize that acknowledging them is tough, even if she
KNOWS the words. If that makes any sense. I'm using words, and they
are so inadequate.... ;-)

I think that at 2.5, she may just not be ready for a group play
setting. It requires some really tricky social skills that most kids
that age don't have yet.

Linda

jamieminnis

I am at my wits end. My son hits for every reason imaginable. He hits
when he is angry (understandable), frustrated (again understandable),
bored, happily watching his favorite show and someone is nearby or
walks by (especially his younger brother), etc. I don't know what to
do. I have talked to him both in the situation and away from it, when
he is completely calmed down. My husband wants to hit him back to show
him that it hurts. I have to admit that, even though we never spanked
before, this behavior is pushing my buttons so much that I have
considered hitting him back when he hits me. I am trying to make sure
that I stay calm when he hits me, but I just can't any more. And just
so you know, he doesn't hit lightly, he hits REALLY hard! It can
almost bring me to tears (the pain, I mean, the frustration CAN bring
me to tears). Any ideas would be wonderful!

Jamie

marji

At 10:15 6/18/2008, you wrote:
>...I am trying to make sure that I stay calm when he hits me, but I
>just can't any more. And just so you know, he doesn't hit lightly,
>he hits REALLY hard!

What do you do when he hits you so hard? Personally, I'd be
pissed! And, I'd let him know (not hysterically, but not necessarily
calmly or sweetly, either) that I don't like being hit by ANYone and
I wouldn't hang around for that. You don't say how old he is, but I
would let him know *very clearly* that hitting and otherwise
physically or verbally abusing people for ANY reason makes people go
away, and unless he wants to be very lonely, he needs to figure out
some other better way to express himself and his wide range of
feelings. I would not take it personally or make it personal. I
would present these facts to him and not sugar-coat them. Really,
you'll be helping him master an extremely off-putting mannerism that
he has adopted that is just not going to work out for him in the long
run or the short run. Hitting isn't cool, and he needs to understand
this. You can help by brainstorming with him other better ways of
expressing himself.

~Marji







~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
<http://joyfullyparenting.com/>JoyFully Parenting & Life Coaching
<http://gaiawolf.org/>GaiaWolf ~ Music for the Planet
<http://myspace.com/marjizintz>Marji's Myspace Page
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Faith Void

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie"
value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DPOXyiDkZf8&hl=en"></param><embed
src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DPOXyiDkZf8&hl=en"
type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425"
height="344"></embed></object>

if that doens't work
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DPOXyiDkZf8

faith

On Wed, Jun 18, 2008 at 10:15 AM, jamieminnis <jamieminnis@...> wrote:
> I am at my wits end. My son hits for every reason imaginable. He hits
> when he is angry (understandable), frustrated (again understandable),
> bored, happily watching his favorite show and someone is nearby or
> walks by (especially his younger brother), etc. I don't know what to
> do. I have talked to him both in the situation and away from it, when
> he is completely calmed down. My husband wants to hit him back to show
> him that it hurts. I have to admit that, even though we never spanked
> before, this behavior is pushing my buttons so much that I have
> considered hitting him back when he hits me. I am trying to make sure
> that I stay calm when he hits me, but I just can't any more. And just
> so you know, he doesn't hit lightly, he hits REALLY hard! It can
> almost bring me to tears (the pain, I mean, the frustration CAN bring
> me to tears). Any ideas would be wonderful!
>
> Jamie
>
>



--
www.bearthmama.com

wisdomalways5

--- In [email protected], "jamieminnis"
<jamieminnis@...> wrote:
>
> I am at my wits end. My son hits for every reason imaginable. He
hits
> when he is angry (understandable), frustrated (again
understandable),
> bored, happily watching his favorite show and someone is nearby or
> walks by (especially his younger brother), etc. I don't know what
to
> do. I have talked to him both in the situation and away from it,
when
> he is completely calmed down. My husband wants to hit him back to
show
> him that it hurts. I have to admit that, even though we never
spanked
> before, this behavior is pushing my buttons so much that I have
> considered hitting him back when he hits me. I am trying to make
sure
> that I stay calm when he hits me, but I just can't any more. And
just
> so you know, he doesn't hit lightly, he hits REALLY hard! It can
> almost bring me to tears (the pain, I mean, the frustration CAN
bring
> me to tears). Any ideas would be wonderful!
>
> Jamie
>

If you are not letting him know to not hit and that it hurts WHY
would he want to stop- say "do not hit"- grab his arm before he hits
and say "NO"- you CAN and SHOULD stop something hurtful but you do
not have to add a punishment on top of that. Saying "do not hit me-
tell me what you need" is enough or saying "no" and adding something
like "do you need help- do you want food- want to snuggle- want me
to play with you"-

Julie

Ren Allen

~~And, I'd let him know (not hysterically, but not necessarily
calmly or sweetly, either) that I don't like being hit by ANYone and
I wouldn't hang around for that. ~~


Same here.
I don't have a problem deflecting or stopping a hand from hitting me
either. Setting personal boundaries IS a big part of healthy
relationships. I often wonder if that comes through when we talk about
saying "yes" more and not punishing children. Just because we don't
use control and punishment in our family doesn't mean we don't all
have some pretty strong personal boundaries.

Everyone has their own idea of what constitutes respect for their
bodies and ideas. Jared loves to joke and Sierra hates it, so it's a
lot about thinking of each other and respecting ourselves.

If I let my child hurt me, what kind of message is that sending. How
is that helping them get better tools? I am pretty good at saying
"this is NOT ok with me guys" if something isn't cool. Hitting isn't
cool in my book. Doesn't mean we haven't had some rough times with
hitting...I see it as a sign that the child ran out of tools in the
moment not a reason to demonize their behavior.

At the same time, is the family letting the child know it is NOT ok
with them?

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

[email protected]

I've been hanging on to Marji's post for a while wanting to comment.
Then Ren posted about "unparenting," and I wanted to comment on that.
Finally I have a moment to hit both at once.

I have a real problem with the term "unparenting" that is often batted
around unschooling circles. Because we say "yes" a lot (almost always,
in some way, shape or form!) and we allow our children a LOT of
freedom, some folks refer to our gentle, mindful parenting as
"unparenting."

But there's no doubt that there's some "unparenting" going on. I've
witnessed it: children who don't have a clue how to interact with
anyone. Granted, some of these children may just have little natural
social intelligence. But, if that's the case, their parents need to be
helping MORE, not less. Of course, it *could* be that the parents have
very little social awareness as well. I that situation, the parents
should probably ask for help from a more social aware friend to help
them learn how to get along better and help them help their children.

Parents who do *nothing* are doing their children no favors. Children
don't *want* to be considered unpleasant or "bratty" or mean. I think
children want to be seen as sweet and as kind as anyone one else. But
when they are struggling with that, they need HELP---not avoidance or
complacency or the laissez faire attitude I see so often. They need
an *advocate*---someone who will stand UP for them and help them
through that period.

Without a parent's help, a child may still figure it out---but maybe
not before the child loses friends and invitations.

Melissa refers to it as "super-parenting," and I like that term. Being
*there* for them whenever they need me. If I help them (for years and
years! <g>), eventually they won't need me anymore. At 20, Cameron
really doesn't need me much anymore. Duncan, at 12, still does. A lot.

If *I* (his parent) don't tell him, someone *else* who doesn't have
*his* best interest at heart may do it FOR me. And not very kindly. He
may lose friends. He may not be welcome in certain places or
situations. I *can* help by being there with him and helping him when
he seems to be struggling.

I can do this by making sure he's rested and fed *before* we go
somewhere. Going further with that: we can bypass an event if he's NOT
feeling up to par.

Rather than sit and chat with *my* friends, I can go play with HIM.
Tough, sometimes, because often I'm tickled to be with *my* buddies
too! But *he* is my priority.

If I see him starting to melt down, I can refocus and redirect so that
he's in a more comfortable place.

And sometimes, just being blunt and telling him that what he's doing is
NOT OK is where I need to go. It's important that he knows how his
choices may effect others---and others' opinions of him. I don't want
others to avoid him because he's unpleasant to be around!

Duncan is *very* social and likes to be surrounded by friends. I know
that he loves his friends and his brother and that he wants them to
want to be around him. It's important to *him* to be someone they want
to be around. I can help.

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandLearnConference.org

-----Original Message-----
From: marji <marji@...>


At 10:15 6/18/2008, you wrote:
>...I am trying to make sure that I stay calm when he hits me, but I
>just can't any more. And just so you know, he doesn't hit lightly,
>he hits REALLY hard!

What do you do when he hits you so hard? Personally, I'd be
pissed! And, I'd let him know (not hysterically, but not necessarily
calmly or sweetly, either) that I don't like being hit by ANYone and
I wouldn't hang around for that. You don't say how old he is, but I
would let him know *very clearly* that hitting and otherwise
physically or verbally abusing people for ANY reason makes people go
away, and unless he wants to be very lonely, he needs to figure out
some other better way to express himself and his wide range of
feelings. I would not take it personally or make it personal. I
would present these facts to him and not sugar-coat them. Really,
you'll be helping him master an extremely off-putting mannerism that
he has adopted that is just not going to work out for him in the long
run or the short run. Hitting isn't cool, and he needs to understand
this. You can help by brainstorming with him other better ways of
expressing himself.

~Marji

Beth Fleming

 
I agree....and sometimes it's so frustrating when you ARE around for your child, and the other parent, whose children also have BIG needs, are not there.  I'm facing this with some friends who have kids similar ages to my kids.  Everyone gets along very well, with the exception of my 4yo dd and their 5 yo ds.  Whenever we get together, I am very present to prevent hitting (from him) and angry outbursts, or just mean faces.  She's been very hurt by this before.  The Mom is very nice but really only steps in after it's a problem or some sort of aggression has begun.  I have told him firmly that he cannot be mean to my dd...it's not OK.  The problem is:  this type of situation is exhausting for me.  At times, I've just asked that my two older kids go to their house to play or asked their three older kids here to play to give all of us a break.....and I thought it would start to resolve as this little boy got older, but it doesn't seem to be
happening.  I have a feeling when we're not around the kids are left to their own devices a lot, but I'm not sure.  Any advice....other than doing what I'm already doing? 
Thanks...
Peace,
Beth



----- Original Message ----
From: "kbcdlovejo@..." <kbcdlovejo@...>
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, July 8, 2008 9:03:58 AM
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] hitting & unparenting


I've been hanging on to Marji's post for a while wanting to comment.
Then Ren posted about "unparenting, " and I wanted to comment on that.
Finally I have a moment to hit both at once.

I have a real problem with the term "unparenting" that is often batted
around unschooling circles. Because we say "yes" a lot (almost always,
in some way, shape or form!) and we allow our children a LOT of
freedom, some folks refer to our gentle, mindful parenting as
"unparenting. "

But there's no doubt that there's some "unparenting" going on. I've
witnessed it: children who don't have a clue how to interact with
anyone. Granted, some of these children may just have little natural
social intelligence. But, if that's the case, their parents need to be
helping MORE, not less. Of course, it *could* be that the parents have
very little social awareness as well. I that situation, the parents
should probably ask for help from a more social aware friend to help
them learn how to get along better and help them help their children.

Parents who do *nothing* are doing their children no favors. Children
don't *want* to be considered unpleasant or "bratty" or mean. I think
children want to be seen as sweet and as kind as anyone one else. But
when they are struggling with that, they need HELP---not avoidance or
complacency or the laissez faire attitude I see so often. They need
an *advocate*-- -someone who will stand UP for them and help them
through that period.

Without a parent's help, a child may still figure it out---but maybe
not before the child loses friends and invitations.

Melissa refers to it as "super-parenting, " and I like that term. Being
*there* for them whenever they need me. If I help them (for years and
years! <g>), eventually they won't need me anymore. At 20, Cameron
really doesn't need me much anymore. Duncan, at 12, still does. A lot.

If *I* (his parent) don't tell him, someone *else* who doesn't have
*his* best interest at heart may do it FOR me. And not very kindly. He
may lose friends. He may not be welcome in certain places or
situations. I *can* help by being there with him and helping him when
he seems to be struggling.

I can do this by making sure he's rested and fed *before* we go
somewhere. Going further with that: we can bypass an event if he's NOT
feeling up to par.

Rather than sit and chat with *my* friends, I can go play with HIM.
Tough, sometimes, because often I'm tickled to be with *my* buddies
too! But *he* is my priority.

If I see him starting to melt down, I can refocus and redirect so that
he's in a more comfortable place.

And sometimes, just being blunt and telling him that what he's doing is
NOT OK is where I need to go. It's important that he knows how his
choices may effect others---and others' opinions of him. I don't want
others to avoid him because he's unpleasant to be around!

Duncan is *very* social and likes to be surrounded by friends. I know
that he loves his friends and his brother and that he wants them to
want to be around him. It's important to *him* to be someone they want
to be around. I can help.

~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://www.LiveandL earnConference. org

-----Original Message-----
From: marji <marji@gaiawolf. org>

At 10:15 6/18/2008, you wrote:
>...I am trying to make sure that I stay calm when he hits me, but I
>just can't any more. And just so you know, he doesn't hit lightly,
>he hits REALLY hard!

What do you do when he hits you so hard? Personally, I'd be
pissed! And, I'd let him know (not hysterically, but not necessarily
calmly or sweetly, either) that I don't like being hit by ANYone and
I wouldn't hang around for that. You don't say how old he is, but I
would let him know *very clearly* that hitting and otherwise
physically or verbally abusing people for ANY reason makes people go
away, and unless he wants to be very lonely, he needs to figure out
some other better way to express himself and his wide range of
feelings. I would not take it personally or make it personal. I
would present these facts to him and not sugar-coat them. Really,
you'll be helping him master an extremely off-putting mannerism that
he has adopted that is just not going to work out for him in the long
run or the short run. Hitting isn't cool, and he needs to understand
this. You can help by brainstorming with him other better ways of
expressing himself.

~Marji






[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

k

>
> I have a real problem with the term "unparenting" that is often batted
> around unschooling circles. Because we say "yes" a lot (almost always,
> in some way, shape or form!) and we allow our children a LOT of
> freedom, some folks refer to our gentle, mindful parenting as
> "unparenting."
>

This is my reputation. I am very aware of ds's general vibe and check in
with him a lot, especially when we're away from home. I have repeatedly
been accused of molly-coddling my child and told it's time to cut the apron
strings. (Which goes in one ear maybe .. and anything that makes it in
generally goes right back out). I do a LOT of fogging in these situations
because many people have their minds made up and I don't bother sharing too
much about what I do to adults who consider themselves to be more with it
and smarter than me. The joys of being second guessed in parenting.


But there's no doubt that there's some "unparenting" going on. I've
> witnessed it: children who don't have a clue how to interact with
> anyone. Granted, some of these children may just have little natural
> social intelligence. But, if that's the case, their parents need to be
> helping MORE, not less. Of course, it *could* be that the parents have
> very little social awareness as well. I that situation, the parents
> should probably ask for help from a more social aware friend to help
> them learn how to get along better and help them help their children.
>


I could probably count on several hands the times other parents have
"stepped-in" to tell ds things like he should learn to stick up for himself
and face kids way older (twice his age) alone. "You're going to have to
learn sometime." So-called well meaning statements which I consider to be
harmful to the safe happy development of children. Ds is 5. He will
eventually grow to "handle" things on his own. But I'm in not in any hurry
to rush the process. Not at all.

~Katherine


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Wendy McDonald

What is "fogging"?

Wendy

--- In [email protected], k <katherand@...> wrote:
>
> >
> > I have a real problem with the term "unparenting" that is often batted
> > around unschooling circles. Because we say "yes" a lot (almost always,
> > in some way, shape or form!) and we allow our children a LOT of
> > freedom, some folks refer to our gentle, mindful parenting as
> > "unparenting."
> >
>
> This is my reputation. I am very aware of ds's general vibe and
check in
> with him a lot, especially when we're away from home. I have repeatedly
> been accused of molly-coddling my child and told it's time to cut
the apron
> strings. (Which goes in one ear maybe .. and anything that makes it in
> generally goes right back out). I do a LOT of fogging in these
situations
> because many people have their minds made up and I don't bother
sharing too
> much about what I do to adults who consider themselves to be more
with it
> and smarter than me. The joys of being second guessed in parenting.
>
>
> But there's no doubt that there's some "unparenting" going on. I've
> > witnessed it: children who don't have a clue how to interact with
> > anyone. Granted, some of these children may just have little natural
> > social intelligence. But, if that's the case, their parents need to be
> > helping MORE, not less. Of course, it *could* be that the parents have
> > very little social awareness as well. I that situation, the parents
> > should probably ask for help from a more social aware friend to help
> > them learn how to get along better and help them help their children.
> >
>
>
> I could probably count on several hands the times other parents have
> "stepped-in" to tell ds things like he should learn to stick up for
himself
> and face kids way older (twice his age) alone. "You're going to have to
> learn sometime." So-called well meaning statements which I consider
to be
> harmful to the safe happy development of children. Ds is 5. He will
> eventually grow to "handle" things on his own. But I'm in not in
any hurry
> to rush the process. Not at all.
>
> ~Katherine
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Ren Allen

~~I have a real problem with the term "unparenting" that is often
batted around unschooling circles. Because we say "yes" a lot (almost
always, in some way, shape or form!) and we allow our children a LOT
of freedom, some folks refer to our gentle, mindful parenting as
"unparenting."~~


I had posted at my lilaguide group about this topic...sorta. It was
about the idea (started over at Always Learning) of "how to screw up
unschooling" and I asked members to blog about that and the idea of
"unparenting".

So here are a couple blog posts I wanted to share. Maybe some more
folks will blog on the topic and share links to their blogs. I still
plan to do it...just running behind as usual (but wait, how can I be
behind myself??).lol

http://livingourlifetogether.blogspot.com/ (the June 25th post
addresses the topic)

http://www.swissarmywife.net/2008/06/unparenting.html

I want to explore this for a while longer, so I might keep exhuming
this thread.:)

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

k

Fogging is a term for something I do with people who seem unable to hear
anything unless they're already saying it. A friend told me she's seen me
do it in certain situations and she's calls it fogging. I've never heard it
called anything and I certainly didn't invent it. Maybe some would call it
mirroring, in a way, but that's not really it. I think of it as integrity.

It's continuing to speak your truth without arguing. Here's a page that
goes into more depth on it: http://www.changestherapy.com/home.nxg

~Katherine




If someone says "you are

On 7/8/08, Wendy McDonald <iwendyiwanda@...> wrote:
>
> What is "fogging"?
>
> Wendy
>
>
> --- In [email protected]<unschoolingbasics%40yahoogroups.com>,
> k <katherand@...> wrote:
> >
> > >
> > > I have a real problem with the term "unparenting" that is often batted
> > > around unschooling circles. Because we say "yes" a lot (almost always,
> > > in some way, shape or form!) and we allow our children a LOT of
> > > freedom, some folks refer to our gentle, mindful parenting as
> > > "unparenting."
> > >
> >
> > This is my reputation. I am very aware of ds's general vibe and
> check in
> > with him a lot, especially when we're away from home. I have repeatedly
> > been accused of molly-coddling my child and told it's time to cut
> the apron
> > strings. (Which goes in one ear maybe .. and anything that makes it in
> > generally goes right back out). I do a LOT of fogging in these
> situations
> > because many people have their minds made up and I don't bother
> sharing too
> > much about what I do to adults who consider themselves to be more
> with it
> > and smarter than me. The joys of being second guessed in parenting.
> >
> >
> > But there's no doubt that there's some "unparenting" going on. I've
> > > witnessed it: children who don't have a clue how to interact with
> > > anyone. Granted, some of these children may just have little natural
> > > social intelligence. But, if that's the case, their parents need to be
> > > helping MORE, not less. Of course, it *could* be that the parents have
> > > very little social awareness as well. I that situation, the parents
> > > should probably ask for help from a more social aware friend to help
> > > them learn how to get along better and help them help their children.
> > >
> >
> >
> > I could probably count on several hands the times other parents have
> > "stepped-in" to tell ds things like he should learn to stick up for
> himself
> > and face kids way older (twice his age) alone. "You're going to have to
> > learn sometime." So-called well meaning statements which I consider
> to be
> > harmful to the safe happy development of children. Ds is 5. He will
> > eventually grow to "handle" things on his own. But I'm in not in
> any hurry
> > to rush the process. Not at all.
> >
> > ~Katherine
> >
> >
> > [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> >
>
>
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Lisa

I am guilty of using the "unparenting" term but my definition is
different from those that use it as a slam against unschooling parents
that are giving their children respect and freedom. My use of the
term is when I see a parent laying claim to the label of unschooler
but what I see them doing is unparenting.... let me give an example.

We knew a family where there was a 12 yr old and a 4 yr old and the
mother was claiming to be an unschooler... I challenged her claim
based on my observation that there were no books in her house, just a
very few toys(money was NOT an issue as far as resources) and she
complained constantly of how demanding her 4 yr old was (Can you
BELIEVE she wants ME to PLAY with her ALL DAY???)

She also had arbitrary rules out the whazoo! Bedtime was strictly
enforced (to give mom a break... from what I asked?), they weren't
allowed certain foods, weren't allowed to go here and there on the
computer (she had all these crazy filters) weren't allowed to have a
My Space or Facebook acct ...all email had to go through mom's account
and on and on. They were also required to do math every day because
the mother just thought that couldn't be left undone and kids just
won't choose to do that without being made.

Mom was obsessed with having a spotless house but wanted to do very
little of the actual cleaning ... my kids slept over and after all the
kids were settling down for the night the child had to leave her
friends and go downstairs to clean up the "mess you and your friends
made" which entailed washing dishes, sweeping the floor, mopping the
floor, vacuuming carpets, taking out garbage etc ... the other kids
felt bad and pitched in to help..(bear in mind that prior to the
settling down phase of the night entire families were present at this
party invited by the parents.

The mom also bragged about spending 10-12 hours a day in marathon
video gaming sessions and admitted to wondering what the kids ate or
did during those times because she wasn't paying attention to them.
Her kids were sneaky about food and treats, miserable, angry and
unkind to friends, constantly negative and so forth. I will have to
admit it was my first experience with someone claiming to be an
unschooler that in my opinion was unparenting. This same mom put
her kids back in school last year because the youngest was so annoying
by wanting mom to constantly play games, read etc and the older child
was according to the dad "was going to have to go to school if she was
still as dumb next year as she is now" AHHHH! They even had a family
joke where the older child would point to the younger child and say
"rocket scientist" and then to herself and say "burger flipper". The
whole situation was just heartbreaking for me to watch.

Anyway it was my experience with just cringing when I would hear her
tell other people she was an unschooler! UGH!


Anyway to me unparenting is not being present with your children, not
allowing them freedom, not trusting them or giving them your time,
attention and unconditional love.

Lisa B




-

Ren Allen

~~Anyway to me unparenting is not being present with your children, not
allowing them freedom, not trusting them or giving them your time,
attention and unconditional love.~~


OR, giving them plenty of freedom with little or no guidance. Letting
them fight it out, leaving them to figure out difficult situations on
their own, NOT giving them feedback on how their behavior affects
others etc...

Ren
learninginfreedom.com