trading cards
pressmanm
I am interesting in anyone who's had experience with specifically Yu-
Gi-Oh cards. This has become a passion/obsession with my son that
started when he was in school two years ago. I am working so hard
with my husband on moderation instead of banning them completely;
clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection and
his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experience with
LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friends
shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
connect with other boys with this on some level.
I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
The cards have been recently banned at a homeschooling group we
attend. Several parents object to the cards, other kids have had
difficulty with trades and stealing cards and the whole thing taking
on a life of its own. I am trying to see how my new 'unschooling'
approach works this one out. My initial thoughts are to limit his
involvement to a monthly Yu-Gi-Oh gathering at our library but
clearly, at this point, that won't be enough since he's not allowed
to bring them to our weekly homeschooling group. I am trying to find
other venues for playing with them.
Any thoughts or shared experience would be appreciated.
--Marie
Gi-Oh cards. This has become a passion/obsession with my son that
started when he was in school two years ago. I am working so hard
with my husband on moderation instead of banning them completely;
clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection and
his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experience with
LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friends
shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
connect with other boys with this on some level.
I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
The cards have been recently banned at a homeschooling group we
attend. Several parents object to the cards, other kids have had
difficulty with trades and stealing cards and the whole thing taking
on a life of its own. I am trying to see how my new 'unschooling'
approach works this one out. My initial thoughts are to limit his
involvement to a monthly Yu-Gi-Oh gathering at our library but
clearly, at this point, that won't be enough since he's not allowed
to bring them to our weekly homeschooling group. I am trying to find
other venues for playing with them.
Any thoughts or shared experience would be appreciated.
--Marie
Jane
I don't have lots of time to type now, but here are a few thoughts. No limits. This "finding value" and limiting in the cards sounds much like the conversations about video games I've heard so often. To bring/force mainstream educational values in something he enjoys just serves to cheapen his interest. If he was interested in plumbing (in that it's a skill that has common value outside of educational norms), would you limit him??
Maybe you could strew some Yu Gi Oh things to broaden his interest. There's a Yu Gi Oh video game for PS2 which my son enjoys. There are puzzles, stickers, books, drawing books, toys, a dueling deck, and more, I'm sure.
To connect with others who play Yu Gi Oh, try asking at the library if they know of a group or at the toy store (not Wal Mart, but a toy store. Our local KB Toyworks has groups posted).
For your dh, try explaining it in terms of something he really likes. My dh is glued to the TV now with basketball playoffs. He watches them freely, no limits, no barraging, no nagging (I don't even ask him to take out the trash!! LOL!!). Your son's passion deserves the same respect.
Fwiw, my 9yo son loves video games. Some days "that's all he does". We've learned to read from them, we've learned value, numbers, community, and *much* more. At first, to "allow" my dh to connect to what was going on, I pointed out the "educational" value to the games (not to mention thinking skills!!!). Once he saw the mainstream value, he was able to let go a little easier.
HTH!!
Jane Powell
Jane Powell
Tribe Commander
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think anything you do well matters very much." Jackie O
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." - Sebastien-Roch Chamfort
---------------------------------
How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messengers low PC-to-Phone call rates.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maybe you could strew some Yu Gi Oh things to broaden his interest. There's a Yu Gi Oh video game for PS2 which my son enjoys. There are puzzles, stickers, books, drawing books, toys, a dueling deck, and more, I'm sure.
To connect with others who play Yu Gi Oh, try asking at the library if they know of a group or at the toy store (not Wal Mart, but a toy store. Our local KB Toyworks has groups posted).
For your dh, try explaining it in terms of something he really likes. My dh is glued to the TV now with basketball playoffs. He watches them freely, no limits, no barraging, no nagging (I don't even ask him to take out the trash!! LOL!!). Your son's passion deserves the same respect.
Fwiw, my 9yo son loves video games. Some days "that's all he does". We've learned to read from them, we've learned value, numbers, community, and *much* more. At first, to "allow" my dh to connect to what was going on, I pointed out the "educational" value to the games (not to mention thinking skills!!!). Once he saw the mainstream value, he was able to let go a little easier.
HTH!!
Jane Powell
Jane Powell
Tribe Commander
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think anything you do well matters very much." Jackie O
"You must be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi
"The most wasted day is that in which we have not laughed." - Sebastien-Roch Chamfort
---------------------------------
How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messengers low PC-to-Phone call rates.
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Momma
Marie wrote
---clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
My 9 year old goes through stints of this with Yu-Gi-Oh. Total immersion. I
prefer this term to obsession. Obsession has such a negative connotation to
it. Why do you refer to it as an obsession? And why do you have to be able
to see positive learning and skills? What about you and your husband? Do you
all only pursue things that are considered educational? How do you know what
he is learning? You CAN NOT possibly KNOW what anyone is learning EVER! You
will understand this more the longer you unschool. My son shocks me all the
time with new information he's learning-I didn't teach him but somewhere
along the way he learned it. Please read some Holt. It will help you
understand and see what your son is doing and how he is growing through his
interests.
---I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
I would feel terribly hurt if I had an interest and my hubby was constantly
telling me how useless it was and that he was sick of hearing about it. Do
you all do this to each other? Is your son less significant or important
than adults? Would you treat your adult friends this way?
----Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection and
his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experience with
LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friends
shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
connect with other boys with this on some level.
Wonderful! He is meticulous and careful with his collection. That's great!
I don't really understand what you're worried about. Do you think he'll be
18 and still not want to do anything but play Yu-Gi-Oh cards? He will grow
out of it just like he grew out of Legos. His interests will change through
the years.
Dawn
_____
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
---clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
My 9 year old goes through stints of this with Yu-Gi-Oh. Total immersion. I
prefer this term to obsession. Obsession has such a negative connotation to
it. Why do you refer to it as an obsession? And why do you have to be able
to see positive learning and skills? What about you and your husband? Do you
all only pursue things that are considered educational? How do you know what
he is learning? You CAN NOT possibly KNOW what anyone is learning EVER! You
will understand this more the longer you unschool. My son shocks me all the
time with new information he's learning-I didn't teach him but somewhere
along the way he learned it. Please read some Holt. It will help you
understand and see what your son is doing and how he is growing through his
interests.
---I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
I would feel terribly hurt if I had an interest and my hubby was constantly
telling me how useless it was and that he was sick of hearing about it. Do
you all do this to each other? Is your son less significant or important
than adults? Would you treat your adult friends this way?
----Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection and
his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experience with
LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friends
shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
connect with other boys with this on some level.
Wonderful! He is meticulous and careful with his collection. That's great!
I don't really understand what you're worried about. Do you think he'll be
18 and still not want to do anything but play Yu-Gi-Oh cards? He will grow
out of it just like he grew out of Legos. His interests will change through
the years.
Dawn
_____
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory
I'm not sure how old your son is, so this may or may not be
relevant. But my son was big-time into Magic: the Gathering. His
old boy scout troop had a lot of kids who were into it, and they
used to go early to trade, play, whatever. Sometimes they got
together outside of scouts for the same.
We have moved twice, and a new obsession has supplanted it
(Runescape), and we currently don't know anyone who plays, haven't
scoped out the card stores, etc. Oh -- the stores where they
specialize in cards, Magic, Yu-gi-o, poke-man, the whole works,
often are good places to meet others with similar interests.
As for your dh -- perhaps you can talk with him privately about
this, when he is in a good mood, point out to him that many people
(even adults) collect these cards, etc. (You should see my dh's MTG
(Magic...) collection. And his Lego collections. And his
collection of wargames....)
Best of luck in finding others with similar interest for your son!
Linda
relevant. But my son was big-time into Magic: the Gathering. His
old boy scout troop had a lot of kids who were into it, and they
used to go early to trade, play, whatever. Sometimes they got
together outside of scouts for the same.
We have moved twice, and a new obsession has supplanted it
(Runescape), and we currently don't know anyone who plays, haven't
scoped out the card stores, etc. Oh -- the stores where they
specialize in cards, Magic, Yu-gi-o, poke-man, the whole works,
often are good places to meet others with similar interests.
As for your dh -- perhaps you can talk with him privately about
this, when he is in a good mood, point out to him that many people
(even adults) collect these cards, etc. (You should see my dh's MTG
(Magic...) collection. And his Lego collections. And his
collection of wargames....)
Best of luck in finding others with similar interest for your son!
Linda
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 5/8/06, pressmanm <pressmanm@...> wrote:
true passion for their interests anymore. Your son has a wonderful passion
and look at all the positive things he is doing with his passion. He takes
care of them, inventories them, classifies them, appraises them, and
collects them. Those are all wonderful skills to have! How wonderful that
you value his passions and allow him to pursue them! How many parents would
allow their child the opportunity to do what your son is doing and
understand the significance of all he is learning through this "hobby" of
his?
I wish more people had passions for the things they do in life.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>I wouldn't call it "addictive compulsive" but passion! Few people have a
>
> Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection and
> his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experience with
> LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friends
> shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
> personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
> he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
> connect with other boys with this on some level.
true passion for their interests anymore. Your son has a wonderful passion
and look at all the positive things he is doing with his passion. He takes
care of them, inventories them, classifies them, appraises them, and
collects them. Those are all wonderful skills to have! How wonderful that
you value his passions and allow him to pursue them! How many parents would
allow their child the opportunity to do what your son is doing and
understand the significance of all he is learning through this "hobby" of
his?
I wish more people had passions for the things they do in life.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pamela Sorooshian
On May 8, 2006, at 4:22 AM, pressmanm wrote:
That's wonderful! Support it, encourage it, nurture it --- he'll be a
far happier human being, ALL his life, because he was supported in
his passions when he was young.
Be careful about attaching any negativity to this tendency, it is
fantastic!
I have a daughter like this - passionately intense about whatever her
current interest might be. When she was about 8, I asked someone what
they thought about her obsession with karate - she was in a karate
class, she wanted to go to every single class, twice a day, if
possible. And she practiced hand forms and lessons at home,
constantly. She was SO into it -- I wondered if there was something
wrong with her - some obsessive/compulsive trait that might even be a
(gasp) "disorder."
My friend told me that I should be so lucky to find a passion of my
own like that!
Good response. Changed the way I saw my daughter and it was just a
year later we because unschoolers. Coincidence? I think not! <BEG>
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> I am realizing that with hisHe has PASSIONS!!!
> personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
> he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
> connect with other boys with this on some level.
That's wonderful! Support it, encourage it, nurture it --- he'll be a
far happier human being, ALL his life, because he was supported in
his passions when he was young.
Be careful about attaching any negativity to this tendency, it is
fantastic!
I have a daughter like this - passionately intense about whatever her
current interest might be. When she was about 8, I asked someone what
they thought about her obsession with karate - she was in a karate
class, she wanted to go to every single class, twice a day, if
possible. And she practiced hand forms and lessons at home,
constantly. She was SO into it -- I wondered if there was something
wrong with her - some obsessive/compulsive trait that might even be a
(gasp) "disorder."
My friend told me that I should be so lucky to find a passion of my
own like that!
Good response. Changed the way I saw my daughter and it was just a
year later we because unschoolers. Coincidence? I think not! <BEG>
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
trektheory
--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
of "anything worth doing is worth overdoing"!
My son tends to cycle through passions, always has. I think he gets
what he can/needs then revisits after he has grown to where he can get
more out of it.
Linda
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
> I wish more people had passions for the things they do in life.You should meet my mom and me -- we tend to live by the code
>
of "anything worth doing is worth overdoing"!
My son tends to cycle through passions, always has. I think he gets
what he can/needs then revisits after he has grown to where he can get
more out of it.
Linda
Marie Pressman
Thank you all! This was the reenforcement and clarity I needed. He is so
passionate. I hadn't thought about it in those terms before and this is
clearly something that makes him unique. I should only hope to find this
kind of passion. --Marie
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of trektheory
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2006 12:59 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: trading cards
--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
SPONSORED LINKS Secondary school education Graduate school education
Home school education
Graduate school education online High school education Chicago
school education
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
passionate. I hadn't thought about it in those terms before and this is
clearly something that makes him unique. I should only hope to find this
kind of passion. --Marie
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of trektheory
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2006 12:59 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] Re: trading cards
--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
SPONSORED LINKS Secondary school education Graduate school education
Home school education
Graduate school education online High school education Chicago
school education
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
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YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
a.. Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
drusila00
I have found that Comic stores and sometimes book stores have trade
and game days each week where you can bring your son and he can
enjoy himself, play the game, trade cards and talk to other people
who are just as interested in them as he is.
You might want to ask around.
GOodluck!
--- In [email protected], "pressmanm"
<pressmanm@...> wrote:
and game days each week where you can bring your son and he can
enjoy himself, play the game, trade cards and talk to other people
who are just as interested in them as he is.
You might want to ask around.
GOodluck!
--- In [email protected], "pressmanm"
<pressmanm@...> wrote:
>Yu-
> I am interesting in anyone who's had experience with specifically
> Gi-Oh cards. This has become a passion/obsession with my son thatand
> started when he was in school two years ago. I am working so hard
> with my husband on moderation instead of banning them completely;
> clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
> with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
>
> Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection
> his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experiencewith
> LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friendsfeel
> shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
> personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I
> he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him tryingto
> connect with other boys with this on some level.constant
>
> I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
> negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
> collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the
> talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not takingan
> interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make ourson
> feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.taking
>
> The cards have been recently banned at a homeschooling group we
> attend. Several parents object to the cards, other kids have had
> difficulty with trades and stealing cards and the whole thing
> on a life of its own. I am trying to see how my new 'unschooling'allowed
> approach works this one out. My initial thoughts are to limit his
> involvement to a monthly Yu-Gi-Oh gathering at our library but
> clearly, at this point, that won't be enough since he's not
> to bring them to our weekly homeschooling group. I am trying tofind
> other venues for playing with them.
>
> Any thoughts or shared experience would be appreciated.
>
> --Marie
>
Ren Allen
"That's wonderful! Support it, encourage it, nurture it --- he'll be a
far happier human being, ALL his life, because he was supported in
his passions when he was young."
YES!!
I'll never forget a moment at Books-A-Million in Pensacola. I ran into
a former homeschooling Mom that I'd known a few years before. She'd
put her son back in school because "he just wouldn't do his work", I
said "why don't you forget about all that crap and let him follow his
interests?"
She informed me that unschooling would NOT work for him because he had
NO interests at ALL. I felt like I'd been sitting in crap..yucky all
over because her son was right behind us playing Yu-gi-oh happily.
No interests? He had plenty of interests, just not the kind she deemed
"worthy".
The keynote talk at NorthEast Unschooling conference is titled
"Portals to Knowledge"....it's all about how ANY interest leads to
everything in the universe. My "portal" for the talk is Chocolate. But
it could just as easily be Yu-gi-oh, bugs, clouds, World of Warcraft,
paint, makeup, Lizzy McGuire or toes.:)
Anything leads to everything!!
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
far happier human being, ALL his life, because he was supported in
his passions when he was young."
YES!!
I'll never forget a moment at Books-A-Million in Pensacola. I ran into
a former homeschooling Mom that I'd known a few years before. She'd
put her son back in school because "he just wouldn't do his work", I
said "why don't you forget about all that crap and let him follow his
interests?"
She informed me that unschooling would NOT work for him because he had
NO interests at ALL. I felt like I'd been sitting in crap..yucky all
over because her son was right behind us playing Yu-gi-oh happily.
No interests? He had plenty of interests, just not the kind she deemed
"worthy".
The keynote talk at NorthEast Unschooling conference is titled
"Portals to Knowledge"....it's all about how ANY interest leads to
everything in the universe. My "portal" for the talk is Chocolate. But
it could just as easily be Yu-gi-oh, bugs, clouds, World of Warcraft,
paint, makeup, Lizzy McGuire or toes.:)
Anything leads to everything!!
Ren
learninginfreedom.com
Marie Pressman
Thank you. I totally get this now after all the great responses. This
message board is such an amazing resource. The fact is, when my husband
spouted more frustration last week, my soon to be 9 yr old said, with tears
in his eyes, "Dad, don't you have a hobby you love?" The biggest problem I
am having is that it becomes so exclusive to his other talents and
interests. And yes, there is a part of me that is deeming this 'unworthy'
of his time. I know this is the wrong approach and will definitely keep
reading because I really do want to support him completely. I suppose at
one time my parents could have viewed my musical talents as unworthy and
where would I be?
Thanks,
Marie
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Momma
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2006 10:58 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] trading cards
Marie wrote
---clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
My 9 year old goes through stints of this with Yu-Gi-Oh. Total immersion.
I
prefer this term to obsession. Obsession has such a negative connotation
to
it. Why do you refer to it as an obsession? And why do you have to be able
to see positive learning and skills? What about you and your husband? Do
you
all only pursue things that are considered educational? How do you know
what
he is learning? You CAN NOT possibly KNOW what anyone is learning EVER!
You
will understand this more the longer you unschool. My son shocks me all
the
time with new information he's learning-I didn't teach him but somewhere
along the way he learned it. Please read some Holt. It will help you
understand and see what your son is doing and how he is growing through
his
interests.
---I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
I would feel terribly hurt if I had an interest and my hubby was
constantly
telling me how useless it was and that he was sick of hearing about it. Do
you all do this to each other? Is your son less significant or important
than adults? Would you treat your adult friends this way?
----Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection and
his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experience with
LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friends
shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
connect with other boys with this on some level.
Wonderful! He is meticulous and careful with his collection. That's great!
I don't really understand what you're worried about. Do you think he'll be
18 and still not want to do anything but play Yu-Gi-Oh cards? He will grow
out of it just like he grew out of Legos. His interests will change
through
the years.
Dawn
_____
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
SPONSORED LINKS Secondary school education Graduate school education
Home school education
Graduate school education online High school education Chicago
school education
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
YAHOO! GROUPS LINKS
a.. Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
b.. To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
[email protected]
c.. Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of
Service.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
message board is such an amazing resource. The fact is, when my husband
spouted more frustration last week, my soon to be 9 yr old said, with tears
in his eyes, "Dad, don't you have a hobby you love?" The biggest problem I
am having is that it becomes so exclusive to his other talents and
interests. And yes, there is a part of me that is deeming this 'unworthy'
of his time. I know this is the wrong approach and will definitely keep
reading because I really do want to support him completely. I suppose at
one time my parents could have viewed my musical talents as unworthy and
where would I be?
Thanks,
Marie
-----Original Message-----
From: [email protected]
[mailto:[email protected]]On Behalf Of Momma
Sent: Monday, May 08, 2006 10:58 AM
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: [unschoolingbasics] trading cards
Marie wrote
---clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
My 9 year old goes through stints of this with Yu-Gi-Oh. Total immersion.
I
prefer this term to obsession. Obsession has such a negative connotation
to
it. Why do you refer to it as an obsession? And why do you have to be able
to see positive learning and skills? What about you and your husband? Do
you
all only pursue things that are considered educational? How do you know
what
he is learning? You CAN NOT possibly KNOW what anyone is learning EVER!
You
will understand this more the longer you unschool. My son shocks me all
the
time with new information he's learning-I didn't teach him but somewhere
along the way he learned it. Please read some Holt. It will help you
understand and see what your son is doing and how he is growing through
his
interests.
---I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
I would feel terribly hurt if I had an interest and my hubby was
constantly
telling me how useless it was and that he was sick of hearing about it. Do
you all do this to each other? Is your son less significant or important
than adults? Would you treat your adult friends this way?
----Unlike many of his friends, he is meticulous with his collection and
his interest is more intense. It is similar to our experience with
LEGO in that he was obsessed with Legos but none of his friends
shared the same level of interest. I am realizing that with his
personality, if it's not Yu-Gi-Oh it would be something else. I feel
he has addictive/compulsive tendencies but I also see him trying to
connect with other boys with this on some level.
Wonderful! He is meticulous and careful with his collection. That's great!
I don't really understand what you're worried about. Do you think he'll be
18 and still not want to do anything but play Yu-Gi-Oh cards? He will grow
out of it just like he grew out of Legos. His interests will change
through
the years.
Dawn
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Pamela Sorooshian
On May 8, 2006, at 4:40 PM, Marie Pressman wrote:
Zoom out. Over YEARS he will have many opportunities and plenty of
time to pursue other talents and interests. Really. He could
rediscover interests and still have talents even when he's a grown
man. It's okay - he doesn't need to "be all that he can be" by the
time he is ten years old or 20 years old.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
> The biggest problem I am having is that it becomes so exclusive toI know what you mean. But, step back and take a longer perspective.
> his other talents and interests.
Zoom out. Over YEARS he will have many opportunities and plenty of
time to pursue other talents and interests. Really. He could
rediscover interests and still have talents even when he's a grown
man. It's okay - he doesn't need to "be all that he can be" by the
time he is ten years old or 20 years old.
-pam
Unschooling shirts, cups, bumper stickers, bags...
Live Love Learn
UNSCHOOL!
<http://www.cafepress.com/livelovelearn>
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: pressmanm <pressmanm@...>
I am interesting in anyone who's had experience with specifically Yu-
Gi-Oh cards. This has become a passion/obsession with my son that
started when he was in school two years ago. I am working so hard
with my husband on moderation instead of banning them completely;
clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
-=-=-=-
Experience? <bwg>
We live, eat, and breathe Yu-Gi-Oh! here! <G>
-==-=-=-
I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
-=-==-=-
Ben (my husband) did this to Cameron pre-unschooling when Cameron was
really into magic. "Pick a card---any card" can get old to even the
most die-hard magic fan! <G> And Ben doesn't care too much for magic.
Cameron and I worked out that he should *really* just use me as his
stooge until he'd truly mastered a trick. Then do it *once* for his
dad! On a *good* day! As good as Cameron became at magic, I don't think
Ben *really* misses it as Cam's all-consuming passion. I do! :-(
Luckily, he traded magic for music and film, passions Ben can enjoy!
<G>
I think there's a real possibility that he could be made to feel bad
about his passion. It wouldn't change the fact that he IS passionate.
But it would certainly change the way he looks at his dad! Is that what
your husband wants?
-=-=-=-
The cards have been recently banned at a homeschooling group we
attend.
-=-=-=-
Bummer! And that only increases the children's need to pursue it---the
whole supply/demand thang. But more importantly, it makes the children
seem small and less than.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Several parents object to the cards, other kids have had
difficulty with trades and stealing cards and the whole thing taking
on a life of its own.
-=-=-=-=-
I saw a little of that when Duncan first started with the Yu-Gi-Oh!
cards. He went to a Yu-Gi game day at a Barnes & Noble---some of the
bigger kids would look through his deck and offer 20! cards for ONE of
Dunc's. Duncan was thrilled! He didn't realize how valuable that one
card was. There were a couple of older kids who kind of kept an eye on
a few of the ...ummm...trickier kids. Duncan learned not to trade with
a few certain kids---and which ones were there to help him out.
-=-=-=-=-
I am trying to see how my new 'unschooling'
approach works this one out. My initial thoughts are to limit his
involvement to a monthly Yu-Gi-Oh gathering at our library but
clearly, at this point, that won't be enough since he's not allowed
to bring them to our weekly homeschooling group. I am trying to find
other venues for playing with them.
-=-=-=-
Try Barnes & Noble or other gaming stores. Dragons & Heroes here in
town has huge Saturday tournaments. Another baseball trading store has
once a month tournaments.
For Duncan's birthday this year, we had a Yu-Gi-Oh! party. We emptied
the music studio of instruments and put up Yu-Gi posters. We set up
several tables for play and got an older boy to be the judge. I had
decks of cards as prizes and smaller packs and Yu-Gi pencils and wrist
bands and such as favors. We played _Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie_ DVD in the
background. We had origami paper and manga drawing books with plenty of
paper for the non-players. We served rice balls, tuna and cucumber roll
maki, teriyaki chicken, and Japanese sweets---all with chop sticks. We
had a Yu-Gi cake. Duncan wore his kimono and his sandals. We had a
Yu-Gi pinata! <G>
To show you that's not even far enough! ---Duncan has a Yu-Gi-Oh!
room. I painted the walls a royal blue. One wall has a 5'X5' full-color
Yu-Gi on it. The opposite wall has a Three-headed Blue-eyes Ultimate
Dragon (8'X10'). Other walls have smaller figures of the Dark Magician,
Dark Magician Girl, Karibo, and some freaky bat! He has a Yu-Gi
bedspread and pillow cases and a blanket.
His room *was* a Batman room before---with a glow-in-the-dark
batsignal, a batmobile, and Gotham City painted on the walls! <G>
I really do believe in feeding passions! <G>
Maybe show this to your husband---maybe he'll see *your* son's
interest as normal once he sees how crazy *I* am! <G>
Seriously---this will NOT last forever. He'll move on to another
passion. Be as supportive as your budget allows. It's relatively cheap,
as passions go! He's learning all SORTS of cool things: patterning,
sequencing, categorizing, reading (and *tiny* print, at that! <g>),
managing money, caring for his psoessions. GOOD, IMPORTANT STUFF!
Enable him!
Oh! And enjoy it while you got it. You're going to miss it when it's
gone!
What's the *next* passion going to be? <g> Your husband may be begging
him to go back to Yu-Gi! You never know! <bwg>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
From: pressmanm <pressmanm@...>
I am interesting in anyone who's had experience with specifically Yu-
Gi-Oh cards. This has become a passion/obsession with my son that
started when he was in school two years ago. I am working so hard
with my husband on moderation instead of banning them completely;
clinging to the positive learning and skills my son has developed
with them like negotiating, classifying, reading, math, etc.
-=-=-=-
Experience? <bwg>
We live, eat, and breathe Yu-Gi-Oh! here! <G>
-==-=-=-
I can see how crushed he is when my husband mutters a mouthful of
negative sentences when he sees him constantly engrossed in his
collection. My husband gets bored and frustrated with the constant
talk about this card or that cards and I worry that by not taking an
interest or coming down too hard on this interest will make our son
feel bad or shamed about something he really truly enjoys.
-=-==-=-
Ben (my husband) did this to Cameron pre-unschooling when Cameron was
really into magic. "Pick a card---any card" can get old to even the
most die-hard magic fan! <G> And Ben doesn't care too much for magic.
Cameron and I worked out that he should *really* just use me as his
stooge until he'd truly mastered a trick. Then do it *once* for his
dad! On a *good* day! As good as Cameron became at magic, I don't think
Ben *really* misses it as Cam's all-consuming passion. I do! :-(
Luckily, he traded magic for music and film, passions Ben can enjoy!
<G>
I think there's a real possibility that he could be made to feel bad
about his passion. It wouldn't change the fact that he IS passionate.
But it would certainly change the way he looks at his dad! Is that what
your husband wants?
-=-=-=-
The cards have been recently banned at a homeschooling group we
attend.
-=-=-=-
Bummer! And that only increases the children's need to pursue it---the
whole supply/demand thang. But more importantly, it makes the children
seem small and less than.
-=-=-=-=-=-
Several parents object to the cards, other kids have had
difficulty with trades and stealing cards and the whole thing taking
on a life of its own.
-=-=-=-=-
I saw a little of that when Duncan first started with the Yu-Gi-Oh!
cards. He went to a Yu-Gi game day at a Barnes & Noble---some of the
bigger kids would look through his deck and offer 20! cards for ONE of
Dunc's. Duncan was thrilled! He didn't realize how valuable that one
card was. There were a couple of older kids who kind of kept an eye on
a few of the ...ummm...trickier kids. Duncan learned not to trade with
a few certain kids---and which ones were there to help him out.
-=-=-=-=-
I am trying to see how my new 'unschooling'
approach works this one out. My initial thoughts are to limit his
involvement to a monthly Yu-Gi-Oh gathering at our library but
clearly, at this point, that won't be enough since he's not allowed
to bring them to our weekly homeschooling group. I am trying to find
other venues for playing with them.
-=-=-=-
Try Barnes & Noble or other gaming stores. Dragons & Heroes here in
town has huge Saturday tournaments. Another baseball trading store has
once a month tournaments.
For Duncan's birthday this year, we had a Yu-Gi-Oh! party. We emptied
the music studio of instruments and put up Yu-Gi posters. We set up
several tables for play and got an older boy to be the judge. I had
decks of cards as prizes and smaller packs and Yu-Gi pencils and wrist
bands and such as favors. We played _Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie_ DVD in the
background. We had origami paper and manga drawing books with plenty of
paper for the non-players. We served rice balls, tuna and cucumber roll
maki, teriyaki chicken, and Japanese sweets---all with chop sticks. We
had a Yu-Gi cake. Duncan wore his kimono and his sandals. We had a
Yu-Gi pinata! <G>
To show you that's not even far enough! ---Duncan has a Yu-Gi-Oh!
room. I painted the walls a royal blue. One wall has a 5'X5' full-color
Yu-Gi on it. The opposite wall has a Three-headed Blue-eyes Ultimate
Dragon (8'X10'). Other walls have smaller figures of the Dark Magician,
Dark Magician Girl, Karibo, and some freaky bat! He has a Yu-Gi
bedspread and pillow cases and a blanket.
His room *was* a Batman room before---with a glow-in-the-dark
batsignal, a batmobile, and Gotham City painted on the walls! <G>
I really do believe in feeding passions! <G>
Maybe show this to your husband---maybe he'll see *your* son's
interest as normal once he sees how crazy *I* am! <G>
Seriously---this will NOT last forever. He'll move on to another
passion. Be as supportive as your budget allows. It's relatively cheap,
as passions go! He's learning all SORTS of cool things: patterning,
sequencing, categorizing, reading (and *tiny* print, at that! <g>),
managing money, caring for his psoessions. GOOD, IMPORTANT STUFF!
Enable him!
Oh! And enjoy it while you got it. You're going to miss it when it's
gone!
What's the *next* passion going to be? <g> Your husband may be begging
him to go back to Yu-Gi! You never know! <bwg>
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
[email protected]
** My initial thoughts are to limit his involvement to a monthly Yu-Gi-Oh
gathering at our library but clearly, at this point, that won't be enough since
he's not allowed to bring them to our weekly homeschooling group. I am trying
to find other venues for playing with them.**
Maybe you could host a Yu-Gi-Oh day weekly or biweekly. Surely there are
other kids in the group feeling bereft because they can't play there any more.
Deborah in IL
gathering at our library but clearly, at this point, that won't be enough since
he's not allowed to bring them to our weekly homeschooling group. I am trying
to find other venues for playing with them.**
Maybe you could host a Yu-Gi-Oh day weekly or biweekly. Surely there are
other kids in the group feeling bereft because they can't play there any more.
Deborah in IL