fear
Maisha Khalfani
I'm feeling some fear crop up in me. Safiya's last report card came in the mail, and it said that she was "below grade level". The day before I had a conversation with my mother who wanted to know how I was handling the "rigorous schedule of homeschooling". She had done some research, apparently, and saw that a lot of work went into curriculums and such. She wanted to know if I was going to have the kids tested, and I said no. She wanted to know how I would monitor their progress. Somehow I skated around answering that question. But for the past 3 or 4 days I've been feeling a bit of butterflies in the stomach.
I'll have a review coming up in June, and I have to figure out how to word all that we would have done. (a creative writing class would come in handy now). My parents - my family in general - would not accept unschooling at all. At this point I think they are having an easier time with the fact that we are pagan-esque!
I need some help in dispelling the fear-demon - and quick!!!
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
I'll have a review coming up in June, and I have to figure out how to word all that we would have done. (a creative writing class would come in handy now). My parents - my family in general - would not accept unschooling at all. At this point I think they are having an easier time with the fact that we are pagan-esque!
I need some help in dispelling the fear-demon - and quick!!!
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Pampered Chef Michelle
On 4/28/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...> wrote:
concerns. What I say is, "How can I not be around my children all day an
not know if they are progressing? Tests are for teachers of 30 kids so that
they can have a better understanding if they have a child who is behind the
others. I have only 3 (or how ever many you have) and don't need a test to
tell me what I already know they understand."
My parents - my family in general - would not accept unschooling at
figured out quite some time ago that my family doesn't accept at least half
the decisions I have made in my life and they don't have to. I'm not going
to sit in another closet in fear because their acceptance doesn't truly have
an effect on me. They can disapprove all they want, but it doesn't do them,
me nor my children any good. You are doing nothing illegal. Your children
are not in harm, being neglected, nor abused. I think the first thing you
have to do is establish yourself as your chldren's parent. When you feel
like you have to have other people's approval to do things for and with your
children, you are not the authoritative parent. You are living by someone
else's rules. They are parenting your children. Hiding what you do from
your family isn't healthy for you nor your children. And what kind of
lesson is that for your children? It's telling them that you are doing
something wrong and you aren't! Unschooling is freeing.
I don't talk about unschooling to my extended family, but then I try not to
talk to my extended family about anything :) My grandmother and aunt and
uncles just would not get it and think I am loonier than they already think
I am. (I mean I had 3 kids and breastfed them until they were all like, I
don't know 18 or something and she "lets" her husband (who they dont' know I
divorced because we are still living together) wear his hair down to his
butt and they don't go to church - pagan here as well.) My mother knows we
unschool and she doesn't approve, but (shrug) she doesn't approve of most
of my life either, but I'm not harming my children and maybe one of these
days I will wake up and realize the horrible disservice I have done to my
children by home/unschooling them and get them back into all these wonderful
enrichment programs that she keeps sending me information about.
I need some help in dispelling the fear-demon - and quick!!!
Then tell the fear-demon to go away. If you are excited and are in love
with what you are doing then it doesn't matter whether other people approve
or disapprove. :)
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>This is the easiest question to answer and it usually calms other people's
> She wanted to know how I would monitor their progress. Somehow I skated
> around answering that question. But for the past 3 or 4 days I've been
> feeling a bit of butterflies in the stomach.
concerns. What I say is, "How can I not be around my children all day an
not know if they are progressing? Tests are for teachers of 30 kids so that
they can have a better understanding if they have a child who is behind the
others. I have only 3 (or how ever many you have) and don't need a test to
tell me what I already know they understand."
My parents - my family in general - would not accept unschooling at
> all. At this point I think they are having an easier time with the factHere's the cool thing. Your family doesn't have to accept unschooling. I
> that we are pagan-esque!
figured out quite some time ago that my family doesn't accept at least half
the decisions I have made in my life and they don't have to. I'm not going
to sit in another closet in fear because their acceptance doesn't truly have
an effect on me. They can disapprove all they want, but it doesn't do them,
me nor my children any good. You are doing nothing illegal. Your children
are not in harm, being neglected, nor abused. I think the first thing you
have to do is establish yourself as your chldren's parent. When you feel
like you have to have other people's approval to do things for and with your
children, you are not the authoritative parent. You are living by someone
else's rules. They are parenting your children. Hiding what you do from
your family isn't healthy for you nor your children. And what kind of
lesson is that for your children? It's telling them that you are doing
something wrong and you aren't! Unschooling is freeing.
I don't talk about unschooling to my extended family, but then I try not to
talk to my extended family about anything :) My grandmother and aunt and
uncles just would not get it and think I am loonier than they already think
I am. (I mean I had 3 kids and breastfed them until they were all like, I
don't know 18 or something and she "lets" her husband (who they dont' know I
divorced because we are still living together) wear his hair down to his
butt and they don't go to church - pagan here as well.) My mother knows we
unschool and she doesn't approve, but (shrug) she doesn't approve of most
of my life either, but I'm not harming my children and maybe one of these
days I will wake up and realize the horrible disservice I have done to my
children by home/unschooling them and get them back into all these wonderful
enrichment programs that she keeps sending me information about.
I need some help in dispelling the fear-demon - and quick!!!
Then tell the fear-demon to go away. If you are excited and are in love
with what you are doing then it doesn't matter whether other people approve
or disapprove. :)
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
[email protected]
>>I'm feeling some fear crop up in me. Safiya's last report card came in the mail, and it said that she was "below grade level". >>She CAN'T be below grade level, she's not in a grade. She's NOT in school. This is different. She's part of an unschooling family. Burn those report cards and don't give them another thought. How's she doing at being Safiya? She can't fail at that and she can't be behind herself. That's what matters.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Maisha Khalfani" <earthspirit393@...>
Melanie Ilsley
Maisha,
I have been reading your past posts and you so don't have to worry! We just got Lily's last
reportcard, her Dad and i both read it, then hid it, it was horrible. No wonder she thought
she was stupid(a swear in our house), her teacher saw none of her real qualities, only test
scores...and how she dealt with 14 other kids rough housing during the test...ok move on.
What state are you in? In Vt the child is not assessed by comparing how they are doing
now to how they were doing in school, it is more independant. And Vt has a few different
ways of assessing. Good luck, and find others who have been through the assessment
process. I am scared too, of the assessment, but we have help.
Melanie in Vt>
who wanted to know how I was handling the "rigorous schedule of homeschooling". She
had done some research, apparently, and saw that a lot of work went into curriculums and
such. She wanted to know if I was going to have the kids tested, and I said no. She
wanted to know how I would monitor their progress. Somehow I skated around answering
that question. But for the past 3 or 4 days I've been feeling a bit of butterflies in the
stomach.
family in general - would not accept unschooling at all. At this point I think they are
having an easier time with the fact that we are pagan-esque!
kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
I have been reading your past posts and you so don't have to worry! We just got Lily's last
reportcard, her Dad and i both read it, then hid it, it was horrible. No wonder she thought
she was stupid(a swear in our house), her teacher saw none of her real qualities, only test
scores...and how she dealt with 14 other kids rough housing during the test...ok move on.
What state are you in? In Vt the child is not assessed by comparing how they are doing
now to how they were doing in school, it is more independant. And Vt has a few different
ways of assessing. Good luck, and find others who have been through the assessment
process. I am scared too, of the assessment, but we have help.
Melanie in Vt>
> I'm feeling some fear crop up in me. Safiya's last report card came in the mail, and itsaid that she was "below grade level". The day before I had a conversation with my mother
who wanted to know how I was handling the "rigorous schedule of homeschooling". She
had done some research, apparently, and saw that a lot of work went into curriculums and
such. She wanted to know if I was going to have the kids tested, and I said no. She
wanted to know how I would monitor their progress. Somehow I skated around answering
that question. But for the past 3 or 4 days I've been feeling a bit of butterflies in the
stomach.
>would have done. (a creative writing class would come in handy now). My parents - my
> I'll have a review coming up in June, and I have to figure out how to word all that we
family in general - would not accept unschooling at all. At this point I think they are
having an easier time with the fact that we are pagan-esque!
>khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
> I need some help in dispelling the fear-demon - and quick!!!
>
> Maisha
> http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://
> http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
> "Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate.Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a
kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
> ~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
Maisha Khalfani
<<Then tell the fear-demon to go away. If you are excited and are in love
with what you are doing then it doesn't matter whether other people approve
or disapprove. :)>>
Thanks Michelle - I needed it laid out on the line for me.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
with what you are doing then it doesn't matter whether other people approve
or disapprove. :)>>
Thanks Michelle - I needed it laid out on the line for me.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
<<She CAN'T be below grade level, she's not in a grade. She's NOT in school. This is different. She's part of an unschooling family. Burn those report cards and don't give them another thought. How's she doing at being Safiya? She can't fail at that and she can't be behind herself. That's what matters.>>
Thanks Mary. I'll have to remember that. I'm working on deschooling myself! LOL Of course now I'm taking online college classes so I'll have to work doubly hard not to think 'schooly thoughts' with my kids.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Thanks Mary. I'll have to remember that. I'm working on deschooling myself! LOL Of course now I'm taking online college classes so I'll have to work doubly hard not to think 'schooly thoughts' with my kids.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
Maisha Khalfani
<<I have been reading your past posts and you so don't have to worry!>>
<<What state are you in?>>
Thanks Melanie - I'm going to 'not worry' and just let her my other kids 'be'. I'm in Maryland. I've opted out of testing though. I just don't agree with all of the testing.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
<<What state are you in?>>
Thanks Melanie - I'm going to 'not worry' and just let her my other kids 'be'. I'm in Maryland. I've opted out of testing though. I just don't agree with all of the testing.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]