RE: [unschoolingbasics] Digest Number 894 - Punished by Rewards
Misty Felner
It's so weird that this Alfie Kohn came up this week. On Tuesday at our
play group two mothers (whom I think would make great unschoolers) were just
talking about him. I hadn't even heard of him before that. I forwarded a
portion of Ren's post to them. I also pointed out that John Holt has a
quote on the cover of the "Continuum Concept" book. One of them says she
lives by that book. Have any of you read it? I'm reading it now. So now
for my question, I don't want to seem like I'm pushing unschooling on them,
but I really think they'd agree with it if they had more info. Neither of
them really know much about it. One of them, W, has already enrolled her
2.5 yo in a pre-school mainly b/c she needs a break, and though she would
love to homeschool, she's said she has concerns about losing the time for
herself. Can you guys help me out with links and books to direct them to to
give them some more info.
Misty
play group two mothers (whom I think would make great unschoolers) were just
talking about him. I hadn't even heard of him before that. I forwarded a
portion of Ren's post to them. I also pointed out that John Holt has a
quote on the cover of the "Continuum Concept" book. One of them says she
lives by that book. Have any of you read it? I'm reading it now. So now
for my question, I don't want to seem like I'm pushing unschooling on them,
but I really think they'd agree with it if they had more info. Neither of
them really know much about it. One of them, W, has already enrolled her
2.5 yo in a pre-school mainly b/c she needs a break, and though she would
love to homeschool, she's said she has concerns about losing the time for
herself. Can you guys help me out with links and books to direct them to to
give them some more info.
Misty
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: Misty Felner <misty@...>
she
lives by that book.
-=-=-=--=
Unschooling is a *very* natural progression to the Continuum Concept.
-=-=-=-
of
them really know much about it.
-=-=-=-=-
How would you deal with your children in the same situation?
Mention it. Ask whether they'd like more info. If they do, have some
available. If they don't, you're done. For now.
Live an unschooling life. If they like what they see, they'll ask.
-=-=-=-=-
One of them, W, has already enrolled her
2.5 yo in a pre-school mainly b/c she needs a break, and though she
would
love to homeschool, she's said she has concerns about losing the time
for
herself. Can you guys help me out with links and books to direct them
to to
give them some more info.
-=-=-=-
She will have many, many years all to herself. But she can *never* get
these few years back.
Rue Kream's book, Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Llife
My simplest way to refocus myself is to think of Lisa Strobler, Joanna
Wilkinson, and Diana Jenner. All three women lost a child: Jacob at
five, Sam at eight, and Hannah (just two months ago) at nine. That's
all I need to know that these very few years are what I get with my
children. Sending them off to school will shorten the time I get to
spend with them. And only *I* get to choose whether I spend that time
being *with* them or *BEING* with them. I choose BEING with them.
If something were to happen to one of them or to me, I KNOW that I did
everything I could to make these years wonderful, magical, and joyful.
I won't regret ever having them home with me, and my memories will be
sweet.
If we all live to be 100, I *still* know I won't have any regrets---BUT
I would have so many memories that we could share *together*.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
From: Misty Felner <misty@...>
>>>>>I also pointed out that John Holt has aquote on the cover of the "Continuum Concept" book. One of them says
she
lives by that book.
-=-=-=--=
Unschooling is a *very* natural progression to the Continuum Concept.
-=-=-=-
>>>>>>>I don't want to seem like I'm pushing unschooling on them,but I really think they'd agree with it if they had more info. Neither
of
them really know much about it.
-=-=-=-=-
How would you deal with your children in the same situation?
Mention it. Ask whether they'd like more info. If they do, have some
available. If they don't, you're done. For now.
Live an unschooling life. If they like what they see, they'll ask.
-=-=-=-=-
One of them, W, has already enrolled her
2.5 yo in a pre-school mainly b/c she needs a break, and though she
would
love to homeschool, she's said she has concerns about losing the time
for
herself. Can you guys help me out with links and books to direct them
to to
give them some more info.
-=-=-=-
She will have many, many years all to herself. But she can *never* get
these few years back.
Rue Kream's book, Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Llife
My simplest way to refocus myself is to think of Lisa Strobler, Joanna
Wilkinson, and Diana Jenner. All three women lost a child: Jacob at
five, Sam at eight, and Hannah (just two months ago) at nine. That's
all I need to know that these very few years are what I get with my
children. Sending them off to school will shorten the time I get to
spend with them. And only *I* get to choose whether I spend that time
being *with* them or *BEING* with them. I choose BEING with them.
If something were to happen to one of them or to me, I KNOW that I did
everything I could to make these years wonderful, magical, and joyful.
I won't regret ever having them home with me, and my memories will be
sweet.
If we all live to be 100, I *still* know I won't have any regrets---BUT
I would have so many memories that we could share *together*.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
susan throssell
hi everyone,
i'm enjoying reading the posts in this group and have a quesstion.
Ive been working towards unschooling and am having an 'issue'(for want of a
better word) with jobs done around the house.
We at the moment have fairly high standards as to how our house must look as
we are in the process of selling it and I want it to look good incase
someone wants to come and view.
My son is 8, up til a few weeks ago i would get him to help me with stuff,
clearing up, just doing things i felt i needed help with. I have since
stopped doing that, asking him if he wants to help and when he says no, not
being bothered and getting on with it myself.
It feels really difficult, and almost as if he's worse now than he was
before. Say, for example, before he would put his rubbish in the rubbish
bin and now he wont do that. I've been taking the view that he just isnt
bothered about putting it in the bin.
the thing I feel stuck with, is, is he just doing this so that i can clean
up after him? is he being disrespectful? I'm just abit stuck, I had it all
sorted a few days ago and now i've lost some faith!!
Any help, would be great
susan
i'm enjoying reading the posts in this group and have a quesstion.
Ive been working towards unschooling and am having an 'issue'(for want of a
better word) with jobs done around the house.
We at the moment have fairly high standards as to how our house must look as
we are in the process of selling it and I want it to look good incase
someone wants to come and view.
My son is 8, up til a few weeks ago i would get him to help me with stuff,
clearing up, just doing things i felt i needed help with. I have since
stopped doing that, asking him if he wants to help and when he says no, not
being bothered and getting on with it myself.
It feels really difficult, and almost as if he's worse now than he was
before. Say, for example, before he would put his rubbish in the rubbish
bin and now he wont do that. I've been taking the view that he just isnt
bothered about putting it in the bin.
the thing I feel stuck with, is, is he just doing this so that i can clean
up after him? is he being disrespectful? I'm just abit stuck, I had it all
sorted a few days ago and now i've lost some faith!!
Any help, would be great
susan
[email protected]
>>If something were to happen to one of them or to me, I KNOW that I did everything I could to make these years wonderful, magical, and joyful. I won't regret ever having them home with me, and my memories will be sweet.>>These are some of the thoughts going through my head as I scramble to find the resources to get Qacei to England this summer. It's looking like to make it work I'm going to need to go with her. Big hardship? No! I've just gotta find the money magically from a negative bank balance. <g>
It's all worth it though. It's a dream and a memory all rolled into one. We will BE with each other and be there for each other. I could spend the $1500 on tuition or curriculum, or I can help her fufill a dream. It's a no brainer.
Of course this is an extreme example, and no I'm not putting myself into bankruptcy to do this. I'm just pulling out every piece of creative energy I've got to make this happen for her. I did the same thing in much smaller ways when she was a much smaller person.
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/
"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh
-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: kbcdlovejo@...
[email protected]
-----Original Message-----
From: susan throssell <susanthrossell@...>
We at the moment have fairly high standards as to how our house must
look as
we are in the process of selling it and I want it to look good incase
someone wants to come and view.
-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-
Yeah---when we sold our last house, Ben and Cameron moved to Columbia
in July. I stayed to sell the house. It took eight months. But BOY! did
that house look GOOD! No one but me there, and I worked all day! <G>
The house was spotless with only me in it---and only at night! <bwg>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
My son is 8, up til a few weeks ago i would get him to help me with
stuff,
clearing up, just doing things i felt i needed help with. I have since
stopped doing that, asking him if he wants to help and when he says no,
not
being bothered and getting on with it myself.
It feels really difficult, and almost as if he's worse now than he was
before. Say, for example, before he would put his rubbish in the
rubbish
bin and now he wont do that. I've been taking the view that he just
isnt
bothered about putting it in the bin.
-=-=-=-=-
It's a matter of trust. He may not really believe you mean it. He
probably thinks you've just gone a little mad and will start making him
pick up any day now. That's normal.
I personally would have waited until we were moved in to the new house
before I lifted the cleaning rule.
He probably ISN'T bothered by it. Bt I'd still ask. Just because you're
not requiring it, doesn't mean you can't ask. He's only eight---he has
different priorities.
OOOH! Does he *want* to move? Or is he mad about leaving this house?
That could give you some insight into what his motivation is! He might
clean up voluntarily if he knows that a clean house might sell more
quickly. At the same time, losing the only home he's ever known might
inhibit the desire to get it sold tomorrow!
Ask him.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
the thing I feel stuck with, is, is he just doing this so that i can
clean
up after him? is he being disrespectful? I'm just abit stuck, I had
it all
sorted a few days ago and now i've lost some faith!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I think he's eight. I think he has different priorities. I think you
should ask him how he feels about the move.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi
From: susan throssell <susanthrossell@...>
We at the moment have fairly high standards as to how our house must
look as
we are in the process of selling it and I want it to look good incase
someone wants to come and view.
-=-=-=-=-==-=-=-=-
Yeah---when we sold our last house, Ben and Cameron moved to Columbia
in July. I stayed to sell the house. It took eight months. But BOY! did
that house look GOOD! No one but me there, and I worked all day! <G>
The house was spotless with only me in it---and only at night! <bwg>
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
My son is 8, up til a few weeks ago i would get him to help me with
stuff,
clearing up, just doing things i felt i needed help with. I have since
stopped doing that, asking him if he wants to help and when he says no,
not
being bothered and getting on with it myself.
It feels really difficult, and almost as if he's worse now than he was
before. Say, for example, before he would put his rubbish in the
rubbish
bin and now he wont do that. I've been taking the view that he just
isnt
bothered about putting it in the bin.
-=-=-=-=-
It's a matter of trust. He may not really believe you mean it. He
probably thinks you've just gone a little mad and will start making him
pick up any day now. That's normal.
I personally would have waited until we were moved in to the new house
before I lifted the cleaning rule.
He probably ISN'T bothered by it. Bt I'd still ask. Just because you're
not requiring it, doesn't mean you can't ask. He's only eight---he has
different priorities.
OOOH! Does he *want* to move? Or is he mad about leaving this house?
That could give you some insight into what his motivation is! He might
clean up voluntarily if he knows that a clean house might sell more
quickly. At the same time, losing the only home he's ever known might
inhibit the desire to get it sold tomorrow!
Ask him.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
the thing I feel stuck with, is, is he just doing this so that i can
clean
up after him? is he being disrespectful? I'm just abit stuck, I had
it all
sorted a few days ago and now i've lost some faith!!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I think he's eight. I think he has different priorities. I think you
should ask him how he feels about the move.
~Kelly
Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org
“Learn as if you were going to live forever.
Live as if you were going to die tomorrow.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi