food, hugs, and parenting
Maisha Khalfani
<<Unschooling is a philosophy that in part reveals the personal nature of
learning. Personal, individual, natural. What is natural for you is not
necessarily natural for your son. Don't spend so much time looking at
the ways he's different that you fail to see that he is learning and
growing in the way that is just right for him.>>
Ahhh....finally....something that you said that just resonated in my soul! LOL Seriously - thank you for all of your input. My virgo nature (add that to me thinking I'm right all the time) has a hard time with someone giving me suggestions - I admit it! I admit it!
<<Traditional parenting has two answers to most questions about raising
kids: 1) Teach them they can't and 2) Protect them from harm.>>
Gosh - I have to figure out a way to deal with that. I know I think that way most of the time. Wait, maybe I don't need to figure it out. Maybe I'm thinking too much??? So how do I let go and 'let life'? Suggestions? I should go back and re-read the Celestine Prophecy, the Tenth Insight, and Seat of the Soul. Other books?
<<Sometimes I think we project our kids
into the future as they are now, but they will be different people in ten
years, in twenty. They will want different things for themselves. They
will move on from where they are today, like all of us will. >>
I'm SURE I do this. And to think: I hate it when my mother does it to me! And she still does!!! I'm working hard to release myself from the burden of "if my kids don't do/learn this now, they'll be in xyz position when they grow up." I have no idea what their life path is. I'm *just* a guide, someone to help them navigate life.
<<Respecting Dakari's feelings is also a way to show love.
There are other ways to be intimate and close. >>
You know, I never thought of it that way. And today, I asked him if he wanted a hug, and he said no. I said 'okay', and he came and gave me one anyway. I guess he wants to hug me on his terms. I have no problem with that. His body, his decision.
<<It's exhausting to cast ourselves in the role of Problem Solver and
Child Protector! It removes a lot of weight to see ourselves as their
partners.>>
I just addressed this, but I can say that dh is still very entrenched in this phase. He believes in shaming, punishment, authoritarianism, etc. It's been a bit rough trying to get him to see things a bit differently. But you guys give me hope that even if he's not as gung ho as I am about ru, that he will at least trust me and trust the process.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
learning. Personal, individual, natural. What is natural for you is not
necessarily natural for your son. Don't spend so much time looking at
the ways he's different that you fail to see that he is learning and
growing in the way that is just right for him.>>
Ahhh....finally....something that you said that just resonated in my soul! LOL Seriously - thank you for all of your input. My virgo nature (add that to me thinking I'm right all the time) has a hard time with someone giving me suggestions - I admit it! I admit it!
<<Traditional parenting has two answers to most questions about raising
kids: 1) Teach them they can't and 2) Protect them from harm.>>
Gosh - I have to figure out a way to deal with that. I know I think that way most of the time. Wait, maybe I don't need to figure it out. Maybe I'm thinking too much??? So how do I let go and 'let life'? Suggestions? I should go back and re-read the Celestine Prophecy, the Tenth Insight, and Seat of the Soul. Other books?
<<Sometimes I think we project our kids
into the future as they are now, but they will be different people in ten
years, in twenty. They will want different things for themselves. They
will move on from where they are today, like all of us will. >>
I'm SURE I do this. And to think: I hate it when my mother does it to me! And she still does!!! I'm working hard to release myself from the burden of "if my kids don't do/learn this now, they'll be in xyz position when they grow up." I have no idea what their life path is. I'm *just* a guide, someone to help them navigate life.
<<Respecting Dakari's feelings is also a way to show love.
There are other ways to be intimate and close. >>
You know, I never thought of it that way. And today, I asked him if he wanted a hug, and he said no. I said 'okay', and he came and gave me one anyway. I guess he wants to hug me on his terms. I have no problem with that. His body, his decision.
<<It's exhausting to cast ourselves in the role of Problem Solver and
Child Protector! It removes a lot of weight to see ourselves as their
partners.>>
I just addressed this, but I can say that dh is still very entrenched in this phase. He believes in shaming, punishment, authoritarianism, etc. It's been a bit rough trying to get him to see things a bit differently. But you guys give me hope that even if he's not as gung ho as I am about ru, that he will at least trust me and trust the process.
Maisha
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]