Maisha Khalfani

I've been reading with GREAT interest the posts about food choices. I'm not sure how to handle this with my 6 yr old son. He still has MAJOR meltdowns and tantrums - he gets frustrated soooo easily. Lately he's been getting extremely angry, jumping up and down and flailing is arms when he's frustrated. And he doesn't want me to hug him when he's like that. We've seen a geneticist, made sure his skull has enough room for his brain to grow, etc. I saw a doctor once who said my son definitely has some developmental issues, but nothing that could be pinpointed - great. The geneticist and another psychologist said the same thing. He has characteristics of aspergers, adhd, and ppd all at once. He will ask me the same question over and over in the span of 5-10 minutes. Anything I say to him has to be broken down to the barest of the english language. Here is an example:
Him - Mom what's the weather today
Me - It's going to be 67 degrees
Him - Is that hot or cold?
Me - It's warm"
Him - so do I need my jacket?
Me - no, but you can take it if you'd like to in case you get cold
Him - is it cold outside today?
Me - no, it's not cold, it's warm
Him - so I can wear my jacket?
Me - yes
Him - because it might get cold
Me - yes
Him - is it hot or is it cold
Me - it warm

Many of our conversations are like this. Often he will keep going and I just have to stop him. It's very frustrating because neither one of us understands the other. It's as though his language comprehension is still at the stage of a 3 or 4 year old. He must be spoken to very simply and plainly.

So...I'm thinking...is what he's eating the issue? My son likes to graze - he rarely ever eats a full meal, which is fine. All he likes to eat mostly are carbs: cereal, waffles, bread, french fries, etc. He won't eat much meat or any other protein for that matter. I think only eggs and peanut butter - but that's about it. Since I've let go of food choices, I've noticed his behavior getting worse in terms of his frustration levels. I've also noticed that he's eating LOTS of Froot Loops. How do I talk to him about that?

I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be very happy with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet - and that's probably not going to happen.

Thanks for any advice and help

Maisha
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Jenniffer Baltzell

Has he been tested for gluten intolerance? He sounds very much like the son
of a friend who was diagnosed with celiac disease and has since gone off
gluten and recovered both mentally and physically. A google search will
yield a wealth of informaiton. It may be worth investigating.

--
Jenniffer in Harpers Ferry
http://octopigarden.blogspot.com
Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? ~Mary Oliver

On 4/22/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>
> I've been reading with GREAT interest the posts about food choices. I'm
> not sure how to handle this with my 6 yr old son. He still has MAJOR
> meltdowns and tantrums - he gets frustrated soooo easily. Lately he's been
> getting extremely angry, jumping up and down and flailing is arms when he's
> frustrated. And he doesn't want me to hug him when he's like that. We've
> seen a geneticist, made sure his skull has enough room for his brain to
> grow, etc. I saw a doctor once who said my son definitely has some
> developmental issues, but nothing that could be pinpointed - great. The
> geneticist and another psychologist said the same thing. He has
> characteristics of aspergers, adhd, and ppd all at once. He will ask me the
> same question over and over in the span of 5-10 minutes. Anything I say to
> him has to be broken down to the barest of the english language. Here is an
> example:
> Him - Mom what's the weather today
> Me - It's going to be 67 degrees
> Him - Is that hot or cold?
> Me - It's warm"
> Him - so do I need my jacket?
> Me - no, but you can take it if you'd like to in case you get cold
> Him - is it cold outside today?
> Me - no, it's not cold, it's warm
> Him - so I can wear my jacket?
> Me - yes
> Him - because it might get cold
> Me - yes
> Him - is it hot or is it cold
> Me - it warm
>
> Many of our conversations are like this. Often he will keep going and I
> just have to stop him. It's very frustrating because neither one of us
> understands the other. It's as though his language comprehension is still
> at the stage of a 3 or 4 year old. He must be spoken to very simply and
> plainly.
>
> So...I'm thinking...is what he's eating the issue? My son likes to graze
> - he rarely ever eats a full meal, which is fine. All he likes to eat
> mostly are carbs: cereal, waffles, bread, french fries, etc. He won't eat
> much meat or any other protein for that matter. I think only eggs and
> peanut butter - but that's about it. Since I've let go of food choices,
> I've noticed his behavior getting worse in terms of his frustration levels.
> I've also noticed that he's eating LOTS of Froot Loops. How do I talk to
> him about that?
>
> I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be very
> happy with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet - and that's
> probably not going to happen.
>
> Thanks for any advice and help
>
> Maisha
> http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<
> http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
> http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<
> http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
> "Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and
> affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is
> more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
> ~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/22/2006 10:32:08 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
earthspirit393@... writes:

Since I've let go of food choices, I've noticed his behavior getting worse
in terms of his frustration levels. I've also noticed that he's eating LOTS
of Froot Loops. How do I talk to him about that?

I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be very happy
with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet - and that's
probably not going to happen.

Thanks for any advice and help

Maisha



Hi Maisha! My children are both food sensitive and my son especially falls
on that PDD spectrum. I think my daughter might too, just to a lesser degree.

We have done a million and one things, including using homeopathy and going
to a Bioset practitioner (allergy elimination through acupressure). We are
currently using food enzymes for autistics and we are very pleased with the
results. Although I don't always, I am currently avoiding obvious food
coloring. In the past, my kids were on the Feingold diet. I also like Tapas
Acupressure Technique (TAT).

All of it has helped in one way or another, but we haven't found that magic
one thing. It has been a journey. I am considering going to a homeopath
next.

Some websites and other resources that have been helpful to me:
_www.enzymestuff.com_ (http://www.enzymestuff.com) and _www.houstonni.com_
(http://www.houstonni.com)
_www.tatlife.com_ (http://www.tatlife.com)
_www.feingold.org_ (http://www.feingold.org)
"the Food Allergy Cure" book by Dr. Ellen Cutler
KingBio Food/Chemical Allergy Homeopathic remedy spray (at health food
stores or _www.kingbio.com_ (http://www.kingbio.com) )

I was supposed to do a bit of a write up for some others on this list and I
apologize for not doing so. If anyone has some specific questions, feel free
to write me off-list and I will try to do a better job of answering. :)

Leslie in SC








[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/22/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>
> Anything I say to him has to be broken down to the barest of the english
> language. Here is an example:
> Him - Mom what's the weather today
> Me - It's going to be 67 degrees
> Him - Is that hot or cold?
> Me - It's warm"
> Him - so do I need my jacket?
> Me - no, but you can take it if you'd like to in case you get cold
> Him - is it cold outside today?
> Me - no, it's not cold, it's warm
> Him - so I can wear my jacket?
> Me - yes
> Him - because it might get cold
> Me - yes
> Him - is it hot or is it cold
> Me - it warm


This sounds like a conversation that I would have with Keon. We have
weather discussions all the time. I've gotten to the point where I tell him
to go check for himself. I figure if he feels what the weather is and
decides to wear his jacket and gets hot (which rarely he will notice due to
his limitations in being able to recognize such things so I would have to
tell him he is hot) that he can always take the jacket off.

Many of our conversations are like this. Often he will keep going and I
> just have to stop him. It's very frustrating because neither one of us
> understands the other. It's as though his language comprehension is still
> at the stage of a 3 or 4 year old. He must be spoken to very simply and
> plainly.


Yep. Sounds very familiar. It has gotten better this past year thanks to
age and development.

So...I'm thinking...is what he's eating the issue? My son likes to graze -
> he rarely ever eats a full meal, which is fine. All he likes to eat mostly
> are carbs: cereal, waffles, bread, french fries, etc. He won't eat much
> meat or any other protein for that matter. I think only eggs and peanut
> butter - but that's about it. Since I've let go of food choices, I've
> noticed his behavior getting worse in terms of his frustration levels. I've
> also noticed that he's eating LOTS of Froot Loops. How do I talk to him
> about that?


I have major issues with artificial colors. Fruit Loops have tons of them.
Would he be open to eating a natural colored sweetened cereal? There are
several on the market that taste remarkably like the original brand names.
My oldest child has a sensitivity to Red Dye #40 (a known behavioural
allergen!!!) and while her life isn't in danger if she eats it (like a
person who can't eat peanuts or shellfish) it does impact her ability to
cope. She's aware of it and now as a teenager chooses whether or not she
wants to consume products that have this coloring in it. There are SO many
artificial colors, flavors and preservatives that are behavioural
allergens. We discovered Emily's allergy when she was a toddler (thankfully
as she was a real handful) and we allowed her to see how this product
impacted her behaviour. We have never been very strict about her
consumption of it, but we have had to remind her on occaission the effects
that this product has on her body and ability to cope with life in general.


I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be very happy
> with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet - and that's
> probably not going to happen.


You can do single food eliminations. Although it isn't as effective, it can
be done. There is a wonderful book called "Is this your child" by Doris
Rapp (maybe Rupp, it's not right here at the computer). It is all about
allergens, including behavioural allergens. It is SO comforting to actually
have someone acknowledge that there is such a thing as a behavioural
allergen!! I see the book at half.com all the time for around $8. It's a
HUGE book and a HUGE read, but you can break it down by symptoms if you need
to.

I've mentioned this before. Keon does not have the ability to recognize
things like being full, hungry, tired, frustrated, hot, cold, etc. He also
will reach for carby food before proteins basically because carby food is so
much easier to get. A bag of chips is easier to grab than a block of cheese
and a knife. I've gotten to where I will put aside leftover chicken in
cubes for him or purchase beef jerky or cube some cheese and leave for him
so he can easily access more proteins. He will eat an egg just about
anyway, so I'll see him getting frustrated with his life due to lack of
proteins and offer to cook him an egg (or two or three.) He'll eat them
boild, scrambled, fried, omellettes, poached, baked, doesn't matter. But it
is a quick easy protein to get into him very quickly. We talk often (in
long drawn out conversations like the weather) about food choices and the
need for both protein and carbohydrates. And sometimes I will tell him that
he seems like he just needs some more protein and he will ask me to come
help him find some.





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Melissa

Hey Maisha
I know where you are coming from, I have an aspie and an autie, and
they are much the same. WIth us, we've always looked at food issues
being a part of the sensory load. We initially dealt with the sensory
stuff, and that seemed to help a lot with eating issues. So stuff
like heavy lifting, lots of play in sensory bins , massage, lots of
bouncing, and a technique called 'brushing' (if you google
willabarger you can read more) It made a huge difference in their
comprehension, eating variety, and also sleeping and playing.

We've removed from josh's diet and didn't notice anything, but
removing corn products from Breanna did help. If she gets the tiniest
bit of corn, she is lost. That includes corn starch, corn syrup, high
fructose corn syrup, corn meal, corn flour, and anything cooked in
corn oils.

You might look into also, Teach Me Language, which helps with
functional language. We don't use it the way most people do, which is
sitting at a table doing tasks over and over with a reward system,
but we've managed to integrate it a lot into our lives, and it helps
ME know what the deficits are. Language is too instinctual for me to
understand why they are having trouble! One thing I noticed in the
supplied conversation (which sounds like something in our house with
any one of our kids lol!) was that you were answering all the
questions. One thing we started doing was asking questions back to
sort of give them more empowerment. So maybe when he asks if it's hot
or cold, you could ask him what he thinks. Or when he asks if it's
cold, you could ask him to do a weather check for the family and
report back.

Melissa
Mom to Josh (11), Breanna (8), Emily (7), Rachel (6), Sam (4), Dan
(2), and Avari Rose

share our lives at
http://360.yahoo.com/multimomma



On Apr 22, 2006, at 9:25 AM, Maisha Khalfani wrote:

> I've been reading with GREAT interest the posts about food
> choices. I'm not sure how to handle this with my 6 yr old son. He
> still has MAJOR meltdowns and tantrums - he gets frustrated soooo
> easily. Lately he's been getting extremely angry, jumping up and
> down and flailing is arms when he's frustrated. And he doesn't
> want me to hug him when he's like that. We've seen a geneticist,
> made sure his skull has enough room for his brain to grow, etc. I
> saw a doctor once who said my son definitely has some developmental
> issues, but nothing that could be pinpointed - great. The
> geneticist and another psychologist said the same thing. He has
> characteristics of aspergers, adhd, and ppd all at once. He will
> ask me the same question over and over in the span of 5-10
> minutes. Anything I say to him has to be broken down to the barest
> of the english language. Here is an example:
> Him - Mom what's the weather today
> Me - It's going to be 67 degrees
> Him - Is that hot or cold?
> Me - It's warm"
> Him - so do I need my jacket?
> Me - no, but you can take it if you'd like to in case you get cold
> Him - is it cold outside today?
> Me - no, it's not cold, it's warm
> Him - so I can wear my jacket?
> Me - yes
> Him - because it might get cold
> Me - yes
> Him - is it hot or is it cold
> Me - it warm
>
> Many of our conversations are like this. Often he will keep going
> and I just have to stop him. It's very frustrating because neither
> one of us understands the other. It's as though his language
> comprehension is still at the stage of a 3 or 4 year old. He must
> be spoken to very simply and plainly.
>
> So...I'm thinking...is what he's eating the issue? My son likes to
> graze - he rarely ever eats a full meal, which is fine. All he
> likes to eat mostly are carbs: cereal, waffles, bread, french
> fries, etc. He won't eat much meat or any other protein for that
> matter. I think only eggs and peanut butter - but that's about
> it. Since I've let go of food choices, I've noticed his behavior
> getting worse in terms of his frustration levels. I've also
> noticed that he's eating LOTS of Froot Loops. How do I talk to him
> about that?
>
> I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be
> very happy with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet
> - and that's probably not going to happen.
>
> Thanks for any advice and help
>
> Maisha
> http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://
> www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
> http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://
> khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
> "Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender,
> thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy
> than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give
> more pleasure than a present."
> ~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>
>
>
> SPONSORED LINKS
> Secondary school education Graduate school education Home
> school education
> Graduate school education online High school education Chicago
> school education
>
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>
> Visit your group "unschoolingbasics" on the web.
>
> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
> [email protected]
>
> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to the Yahoo! Terms of Service.
>
>



[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maisha Khalfani

Thanks - I hadn't even considered that. I sure hope that's not it though. The thought of telling him that he's got to give up the cereals he loves is NOT going to be a pleasant conversation! LOL I'll do some research on this. Thanks again.

Maisha
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
----- Original Message -----
From: Jenniffer Baltzell<mailto:jjfbaltzell@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, April 22, 2006 10:52 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] food choices


Has he been tested for gluten intolerance? He sounds very much like the son
of a friend who was diagnosed with celiac disease and has since gone off
gluten and recovered both mentally and physically. A google search will
yield a wealth of informaiton. It may be worth investigating.

--
Jenniffer in Harpers Ferry
http://octopigarden.blogspot.com<http://octopigarden.blogspot.com/>
Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life? ~Mary Oliver

On 4/22/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...> wrote:
>
> I've been reading with GREAT interest the posts about food choices. I'm
> not sure how to handle this with my 6 yr old son. He still has MAJOR
> meltdowns and tantrums - he gets frustrated soooo easily. Lately he's been
> getting extremely angry, jumping up and down and flailing is arms when he's
> frustrated. And he doesn't want me to hug him when he's like that. We've
> seen a geneticist, made sure his skull has enough room for his brain to
> grow, etc. I saw a doctor once who said my son definitely has some
> developmental issues, but nothing that could be pinpointed - great. The
> geneticist and another psychologist said the same thing. He has
> characteristics of aspergers, adhd, and ppd all at once. He will ask me the
> same question over and over in the span of 5-10 minutes. Anything I say to
> him has to be broken down to the barest of the english language. Here is an
> example:
> Him - Mom what's the weather today
> Me - It's going to be 67 degrees
> Him - Is that hot or cold?
> Me - It's warm"
> Him - so do I need my jacket?
> Me - no, but you can take it if you'd like to in case you get cold
> Him - is it cold outside today?
> Me - no, it's not cold, it's warm
> Him - so I can wear my jacket?
> Me - yes
> Him - because it might get cold
> Me - yes
> Him - is it hot or is it cold
> Me - it warm
>
> Many of our conversations are like this. Often he will keep going and I
> just have to stop him. It's very frustrating because neither one of us
> understands the other. It's as though his language comprehension is still
> at the stage of a 3 or 4 year old. He must be spoken to very simply and
> plainly.
>
> So...I'm thinking...is what he's eating the issue? My son likes to graze
> - he rarely ever eats a full meal, which is fine. All he likes to eat
> mostly are carbs: cereal, waffles, bread, french fries, etc. He won't eat
> much meat or any other protein for that matter. I think only eggs and
> peanut butter - but that's about it. Since I've let go of food choices,
> I've noticed his behavior getting worse in terms of his frustration levels.
> I've also noticed that he's eating LOTS of Froot Loops. How do I talk to
> him about that?
>
> I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be very
> happy with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet - and that's
> probably not going to happen.
>
> Thanks for any advice and help
>
> Maisha
> http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html><
> http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>>
> http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/><
> http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>>
> "Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and
> affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is
> more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
> ~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
>


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]



SPONSORED LINKS Secondary school education<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Secondary+school+education&w1=Secondary+school+education&w2=Graduate+school+education&w3=Home+school+education&w4=Graduate+school+education+online&w5=High+school+education&w6=Chicago+school+education&c=6&s=185&.sig=ZmtJ9eV8jDgLVf_rQitp3g> Graduate school education<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Graduate+school+education&w1=Secondary+school+education&w2=Graduate+school+education&w3=Home+school+education&w4=Graduate+school+education+online&w5=High+school+education&w6=Chicago+school+education&c=6&s=185&.sig=_ar44lA2aVf7qUVJT2dfbA> Home school education<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Home+school+education&w1=Secondary+school+education&w2=Graduate+school+education&w3=Home+school+education&w4=Graduate+school+education+online&w5=High+school+education&w6=Chicago+school+education&c=6&s=185&.sig=igfV0UPAcfSvC6KUmUYY6w>
Graduate school education online<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Graduate+school+education+online&w1=Secondary+school+education&w2=Graduate+school+education&w3=Home+school+education&w4=Graduate+school+education+online&w5=High+school+education&w6=Chicago+school+education&c=6&s=185&.sig=OHt1qK6J19R35_4ff-oJHg> High school education<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=High+school+education&w1=Secondary+school+education&w2=Graduate+school+education&w3=Home+school+education&w4=Graduate+school+education+online&w5=High+school+education&w6=Chicago+school+education&c=6&s=185&.sig=BV3EOkp5uIRJ0eqRAZQNcw> Chicago school education<http://groups.yahoo.com/gads?t=ms&k=Chicago+school+education&w1=Secondary+school+education&w2=Graduate+school+education&w3=Home+school+education&w4=Graduate+school+education+online&w5=High+school+education&w6=Chicago+school+education&c=6&s=185&.sig=pesFSb8HMcPS2_oNEoEwuw>


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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maisha Khalfani

Thanks Michelle. Right now all of this information is great! And it feels extremely overwhelming at the same time. I'm going to look into the natural cereals and such.

Maisha
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
----- Original Message -----
From: Pampered Chef Michelle<mailto:pamperedmichelle@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, April 22, 2006 11:21 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] food choices


On 4/22/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...<mailto:earthspirit393@...>> wrote:
>
> Anything I say to him has to be broken down to the barest of the english
> language. Here is an example:
> Him - Mom what's the weather today
> Me - It's going to be 67 degrees
> Him - Is that hot or cold?
> Me - It's warm"
> Him - so do I need my jacket?
> Me - no, but you can take it if you'd like to in case you get cold
> Him - is it cold outside today?
> Me - no, it's not cold, it's warm
> Him - so I can wear my jacket?
> Me - yes
> Him - because it might get cold
> Me - yes
> Him - is it hot or is it cold
> Me - it warm


This sounds like a conversation that I would have with Keon. We have
weather discussions all the time. I've gotten to the point where I tell him
to go check for himself. I figure if he feels what the weather is and
decides to wear his jacket and gets hot (which rarely he will notice due to
his limitations in being able to recognize such things so I would have to
tell him he is hot) that he can always take the jacket off.

Many of our conversations are like this. Often he will keep going and I
> just have to stop him. It's very frustrating because neither one of us
> understands the other. It's as though his language comprehension is still
> at the stage of a 3 or 4 year old. He must be spoken to very simply and
> plainly.


Yep. Sounds very familiar. It has gotten better this past year thanks to
age and development.

So...I'm thinking...is what he's eating the issue? My son likes to graze -
> he rarely ever eats a full meal, which is fine. All he likes to eat mostly
> are carbs: cereal, waffles, bread, french fries, etc. He won't eat much
> meat or any other protein for that matter. I think only eggs and peanut
> butter - but that's about it. Since I've let go of food choices, I've
> noticed his behavior getting worse in terms of his frustration levels. I've
> also noticed that he's eating LOTS of Froot Loops. How do I talk to him
> about that?


I have major issues with artificial colors. Fruit Loops have tons of them.
Would he be open to eating a natural colored sweetened cereal? There are
several on the market that taste remarkably like the original brand names.
My oldest child has a sensitivity to Red Dye #40 (a known behavioural
allergen!!!) and while her life isn't in danger if she eats it (like a
person who can't eat peanuts or shellfish) it does impact her ability to
cope. She's aware of it and now as a teenager chooses whether or not she
wants to consume products that have this coloring in it. There are SO many
artificial colors, flavors and preservatives that are behavioural
allergens. We discovered Emily's allergy when she was a toddler (thankfully
as she was a real handful) and we allowed her to see how this product
impacted her behaviour. We have never been very strict about her
consumption of it, but we have had to remind her on occaission the effects
that this product has on her body and ability to cope with life in general.


I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be very happy
> with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet - and that's
> probably not going to happen.


You can do single food eliminations. Although it isn't as effective, it can
be done. There is a wonderful book called "Is this your child" by Doris
Rapp (maybe Rupp, it's not right here at the computer). It is all about
allergens, including behavioural allergens. It is SO comforting to actually
have someone acknowledge that there is such a thing as a behavioural
allergen!! I see the book at half.com all the time for around $8. It's a
HUGE book and a HUGE read, but you can break it down by symptoms if you need
to.

I've mentioned this before. Keon does not have the ability to recognize
things like being full, hungry, tired, frustrated, hot, cold, etc. He also
will reach for carby food before proteins basically because carby food is so
much easier to get. A bag of chips is easier to grab than a block of cheese
and a knife. I've gotten to where I will put aside leftover chicken in
cubes for him or purchase beef jerky or cube some cheese and leave for him
so he can easily access more proteins. He will eat an egg just about
anyway, so I'll see him getting frustrated with his life due to lack of
proteins and offer to cook him an egg (or two or three.) He'll eat them
boild, scrambled, fried, omellettes, poached, baked, doesn't matter. But it
is a quick easy protein to get into him very quickly. We talk often (in
long drawn out conversations like the weather) about food choices and the
need for both protein and carbohydrates. And sometimes I will tell him that
he seems like he just needs some more protein and he will ask me to come
help him find some.





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr<http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr>
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


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Maisha Khalfani

Thanks Leslie - I'll be looking into those websites as well. You can put me on that list for that write up that you'll do!

Maisha
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire
----- Original Message -----
From: Leslie530@...<mailto:Leslie530@...>
To: [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>
Sent: Saturday, April 22, 2006 11:15 AM
Subject: Re: [unschoolingbasics] food choices



In a message dated 4/22/2006 10:32:08 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,
earthspirit393@...<mailto:earthspirit393@...> writes:

Since I've let go of food choices, I've noticed his behavior getting worse
in terms of his frustration levels. I've also noticed that he's eating LOTS
of Froot Loops. How do I talk to him about that?

I've heard about the elimination diet. But I don't think he'd be very happy
with that at all. We would ALL have to go on that diet - and that's
probably not going to happen.

Thanks for any advice and help

Maisha



Hi Maisha! My children are both food sensitive and my son especially falls
on that PDD spectrum. I think my daughter might too, just to a lesser degree.

We have done a million and one things, including using homeopathy and going
to a Bioset practitioner (allergy elimination through acupressure). We are
currently using food enzymes for autistics and we are very pleased with the
results. Although I don't always, I am currently avoiding obvious food
coloring. In the past, my kids were on the Feingold diet. I also like Tapas
Acupressure Technique (TAT).

All of it has helped in one way or another, but we haven't found that magic
one thing. It has been a journey. I am considering going to a homeopath
next.

Some websites and other resources that have been helpful to me:
_www.enzymestuff.com_ (http://www.enzymestuff.com)<http://www.enzymestuff.com)/> and _www.houstonni.com_
(http://www.houstonni.com)<http://www.houstonni.com)/>
_www.tatlife.com_ (http://www.tatlife.com)<http://www.tatlife.com)/>
_www.feingold.org_ (http://www.feingold.org)<http://www.feingold.org)/>
"the Food Allergy Cure" book by Dr. Ellen Cutler
KingBio Food/Chemical Allergy Homeopathic remedy spray (at health food
stores or _www.kingbio.com_ (http://www.kingbio.com)<http://www.kingbio.com)/> )

I was supposed to do a bit of a write up for some others on this list and I
apologize for not doing so. If anyone has some specific questions, feel free
to write me off-list and I will try to do a better job of answering. :)

Leslie in SC








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Deb Lewis

***He still has MAJOR meltdowns and tantrums - he gets frustrated soooo
easily.***

He's little. He's new on the planet.
It's your job to help him before the meltdown. You should be paying
attention to what makes him weary. Too long between snacks? Take him
food more frequently. Too long without a touch from you, a hug, go hug
him when he's still happy and calm. It's up to you to help him get
what he needs before he has to explode to get your attention.

The conversation you posted is normal.
Why do you think someone who is six should know what sixty seven degrees
feels like. Sixty seven degrees feel different depending on cloud cover
or sunshine or wind or humidity or whether you're fat or skinny or maybe
a half dozen other factors.

There's nothing wrong with him!
Maybe say "I think it's warm enough you won't need a jacket "
And then YOU take his jacket incase the weather changes.
And have a nice conversation about weather without thinking the worst
possible thing about your son.

***and I just have to stop him.***

You don't "have to stop him."

*** ...is what he's eating the issue? ***

WHY are you looking for something to be wrong with this child? He's
six. He's experimenting with language, with conversation, with the world
around him. He's learning every minute from everything he does. He's
learning about hot, cold, warm, cool. Learning. Give him freedom. Free
up your own mind to make room for this child's learning.

If there is a problem it's you. Let him be six. Let him talk the way he
wants to talk. You don't get to make the rules for every conversation.
If he's not understanding you then that's YOUR responsibility. You're
the adult. You've been on the planet long enough to have learned that
six year olds don't usually understand the nuances of temperature and yet
you're asking whether it might be Fruit Loops causing his questions about
the weather??! You want to control the conversation and when you can't
you want to control his food. It's stunning.

I think your kid is fine. I think he's perfect. I think you might have
control issues.

Deb Lewis

Maisha Khalfani

<<I think your kid is fine. I think he's perfect. I think you might have
control issues.>>

I do have some control issues, but dealing in this circumstance isn't one of them. I was only using that as ONE example. Here's another: a man is walking towards us - clearly it's a man. He knows his sister is in school. He asks me "Is that Rohana?" His sister (one year older) says "no, that's a man Dakari."

Now believe me...*I* know what I am dealing with here on a day to day basis. I'm sure he needs more hugs - who doesn't? It wasn't that he should know whether it was warm or not. It's that conversations with him go in circles. I've been around enough 6 yr olds, and 6 yr old boys at that to know when a conversation with one is out of the ordinary. I'm not looking for something to be 'wrong' with him. He's not something that's broken and needs to be fixed. I'm looking for ways to understand him better, and to help him navigate this world as best he can.

I've gotten the advice that I need on diet and how that may be a factor in his behavior (as it can be in anyone's). I appreciate the input.

Maisha
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Maisha Khalfani

<<If there is a problem it's you. Let him be six. Let him talk the way he
wants to talk. You don't get to make the rules for every conversation.
If he's not understanding you then that's YOUR responsibility. You're
the adult. You've been on the planet long enough to have learned that
six year olds don't usually understand the nuances of temperature and yet
you're asking whether it might be Fruit Loops causing his questions about
the weather??! You want to control the conversation and when you can't
you want to control his food. It's stunning. >>

I think this is a bit judgmental here? If we wouldn't talk to our children this way (in a judgmental fashion), why someone else? I'm sorry if something I said struck a cord. I don't mind input, that's why I asked. I don't mind criticism, that's a way to grow and learn. I do believe that there is a way to say things, and your statement above is worded in a way that can cause offense. Now it's pretty hard to offend me, so I'm not seething in anger or anything. I would just appreciate a little benefit of the doubt. Again, it wasn't about the temperature. That was just an example of one conversation. It is difficult to understand my son sometimes. Not only because of the way he speaks, but how he uses the English language. It's easier to understand my 3 yr old. My 6 yr old just sees the world in a different way, and I'd like to understand what he's saying and what he means. I don't berate him for it. I do my best. I really do. I'm a work in progress just like he is. I hope you can understand that.

Maisha
http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html<http://www.geocities.com/maitai373/EarthSpirit.html>
http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/<http://khalfanifamilyadventures.blogspot.com/>
"Don't be afraid of showing affection. Be warm and tender, thoughtful and affectionate. Mankind is more helped by sympathy than by service. Love is more than money, and a kind word will give more pleasure than a present."
~ Jean Baptiste Lacordaire


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

-----Original Message-----
From: Deb Lewis <ddzimlew@...>

Why do you think someone who is six should know what sixty seven degrees
feels like. Sixty seven degrees feel different depending on cloud cover
or sunshine or wind or humidity or whether you're fat or skinny or maybe
a half dozen other factors.


-=-=-=-

When I was 20, I lived in Germany and Austria for a year. It took me
six months for me to figure out Celcius!

Then I moved back to Germany for three years when I was 26. I caught on
much more quickly---but just 5 years of not using it stopped me from
*thinking* in Celcius. I've been away for many more years now. I
remember zero's freezing cold and 30 is pretty damned hot! <bwg>

Stranger in a strange land, indeed!



Deb lives in Montana. I tease her about her incredibly long winters.
But she's MELT here in a South Carolina August!

My "comfortable-to-walk-around-in-a-sweater" probably looks/feels very
different to hers.


Seeing the child as a different person---separate from you---is very
important. As is understanding that he only has a tiny bit of
information stored. He's not ready to need to know. Think of it as he's
just storing what you tell him every day until it makes sense to him.
He's taking it in, and one day it'll be there---clear as a bell! Until
then, you may be providing that information a zillion times!

Patience. Patience. Deep breaths.


~Kelly

Kelly Lovejoy
Conference Coordinator
Live and Learn Unschooling Conference
http://liveandlearnconference.org

Deb

--- In [email protected], "Pampered Chef Michelle"
<pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:
> I've gotten to where I will put aside leftover chicken in
> cubes for him or purchase beef jerky or cube some cheese and leave
>for him
> so he can easily access more proteins.
Fun option: slice whatever cheese is a favorite (for example, DS
loves provolone) a little on the thick side (or get it sliced at the
deli, depending on what you get). Then use mini cookie cutters (LOL
our set is from pampered Chef) to cut out shapes. Store in a ziptop
bag or container in the fridge. Easily accessible and attractive/fun.

>He will eat an egg just about
> anyway,
When DS is in an egg eating 'mode', we'll usually keep a dozen hard
boiled in the fridge ready for easy, fast access. Also, sometimes
he's okay with doing his own omelette (scrambled eggs) in the
microwave - our microwave has an "omelette" setting that does the
eggs nicely without leaving uncooked bits. Makes things easier if
the adults are tied up at the moment he wants eggs. He can crack
them into a known micro safe dish/bowl (he knows which to use),
scramble them around with a fork, then nuke.

>And sometimes I will tell him that
> he seems like he just needs some more protein and he will ask me
>to come
> help him find some.
That's where our chalkboard list of proteins helps - I can go with
him, but DS can look at the list and decide what 'category' he wants
(eggs, cheese, nuts, whatever) and I help him find something in that
group that we've got available.

--Deb

Deb

--- In [email protected], Melissa <autismhelp@...>
wrote:
> Or when he asks if >it's
> cold, you could ask him to do a weather check for the family and
> report back.
DS' first reaction now, if he isn't near the door to check outside
(like when he first gets up), he'll pop to the Weather Channel - he's
got the number memorized and DH set it up so that is the default
station - if you just turn the cable box off and back on, it starts up
at the Weather Channel. Over time, he's gotten to know (both by their
color coding and by experience) when he needs a jacket or long sleeves
or whatever.

One thing I've considered but haven't yet done is getting a good
outdoor thermometer and using a Sharpie to mark the Cold - heavy
jacket, Cool - light jacket, Warm - no jacket, and Hot - "Get naked"
ranges.

--Deb

Rebecca DeLong

I have decided that today is a new day for me. A fresh start.

I've been on this group(and may more unschooling groups) for a long time, I tend to hide in the background, wanting to post having things to say but hardly ever doing it. Why?

Because as many of my schooly notions that I have tossed to the wayside one has had a really good grip on me. I'm behind the class. I try to read all the emails I get, knowing that there are so many wise women on these boards that have help change my families life I don't want to miss a thing. Well, life happens and I can't keep up and I end up returning to an inbox FULL of emails.

I'll read and start to reply then notice the date is a month before, figure that every thing that could be said has been said and I'll go back to reading.

Today, I deleted (gulp) 3057 unread emails. Today is the day I start to live in the now. I don't have to know everything that was said last month. I'm not behind the class, there is no class. I can be here now and get everything that I need to continue down the path that my family has chosen.

~Rebecca




Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~

3boysleadtheway@...



---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Deb

--- In [email protected], kbcdlovejo@... wrote:
>
>
> When I was 20, I lived in Germany and Austria for a year. It took
>me
> six months for me to figure out Celcius!
LOL - I do the calculation for fun when I pass bank clocks that show
both. I've had that memorized since somewhere before I graduated
high school - that's probably over 30 yrs ago. I don't think in
Celsius (since I don't live where it is the major system) but it's
just fun for me to play with the numbers.

> Deb lives in Montana. I tease her about her incredibly long
>winters.
> But she's MELT here in a South Carolina August!
>
> My "comfortable-to-walk-around-in-a-sweater" probably looks/feels
>very
> different to hers.
My sister went from NJ weather (born and raised there) to FL weather
(college). She was amazed at seeing people in jeans and jackets
while she was comfortable in a long sleeved t shirt and shorts. Then
the reverse - she moved back to NJ and was bundling up in sweaters
and jackets in September, way earlier than usual. She's better now
(mostly) but still gets cold sooner than she used to.

And, I've learned that the Y chromosome seems to do something to the
thermostat. Both DH and DS will be running around in shorts and
tshirts (or sweatpants and t shirts) and I'll be in jeans and a
sweatshirt and socks and looking for a blanket to huddle under. So
I've learned not to gauge how DS will be comfortable based on my
comfort level. I'll give him information based on my opinion - and
let him know it's my opinion "I'm planning on wearing jacket when we
go outside. It's sort of medium temperature but breezy." And we'll
usually do a final check at the door as to whether he wears his
jacket or just wants to bring it along. Often, in the in-between
weather months (spring and fall) we just keep a spare jacket in the
car all the time because it's changeable.

--Deb

Rebecca DeLong

I made another big choice this weekend.

We live in Ca, and one of the homeschooling options here is to do so with a charter school. I caved to family pressure last Sept. and enrolled Jaiden(7). The EF(teacher) we got is great, she understands unschooling, up to a point, and was willing and able to work with us as far as providing samples.

However every 2 months (when samples were due) I would panic and Jaiden and I would rush to pull together enough workbook samples for her. Jaiden is also supossed to take the STAR test in a few weeks.

After a huge charter vs r4 filers( another option here in Ca) and doing a lot more research on the ins and outs of charter schools I've decided not to go the charter route next year. And I'm going to opt Jaiden out of testing.

I'm a little scared, the family response will be less than stellar. The money that we recived was really helpful. And this will be my first "legal" year doing it all on my own.

But I'm happy with the decision, Jason(dh) is on board with the idea of the r4 and with unschooling. Still getting him to the "radical" part of it, but he is on the way.

I haven't said anything to our EF about it yet. I'm kinda scared to, must be more schooly stuff rearing it's ugly head.

~Rebecca



Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~

3boysleadtheway@...



---------------------------------
How low will we go? Check out Yahoo! Messenger’s low PC-to-Phone call rates.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

>>Today, I deleted (gulp) 3057 unread emails.>>

Wow Rebecca, you beat my record for unread emails! I completely understand that feeling of having to read them all. It's very freeing to just delete, delete, delete...

>> Today is the day I start to live in the now.>>

Yea! That's my favorite place to be. I'm glad you're joining the conversation. :o)
--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Rebecca DeLong <elfmama_2@...>

[email protected]

>>I've decided not to go the charter route next year. And I'm going to opt Jaiden out of testing. >>

WooHoo for you and Jaiden. Don't let the naysayers get you down.

--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: Rebecca DeLong <elfmama_2@...>

trektheory

--- In [email protected], "Deb" <soggyboysmom@...>
wrote:
>
> And, I've learned that the Y chromosome seems to do something to the
> thermostat. Both DH and DS will be running around in shorts and
> tshirts (or sweatpants and t shirts) and I'll be in jeans and a
> sweatshirt and socks and looking for a blanket to huddle under.

LOL! I didn't think about that -- but it really could be genetic!
Don't guys in general have higher metabolisms? Curses!

Linda

Rebecca DeLong

zenmomma@... wrote:
>>Today, I deleted (gulp) 3057 unread emails.>>

Wow Rebecca, you beat my record for unread emails! I completely understand that feeling of having to read them all. It's very freeing to just delete, delete, delete...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hehehe, and that was AFTER reading for a few hours today and spending most of the past 9 days reading. They just kept piling up, and up....

I did have to empty my trash bin quicky, before I convinced myself that that ONE email that was going to change everything really was in there.

who knew my packratedness(sp) would extend to email? :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
>> Today is the day I start to live in the now.>>

Yea! That's my favorite place to be. I'm glad you're joining the conversation. :o)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm glad to joining too, my head is swirling with all the changes I making and about to make.

Hmmmm, must be spring time,
I feel as if I've spent the past few months digging deep and pruning and nourishing myself. And I'm ready to burst forth with new life.

~Rebecca


Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~

3boysleadtheway@...



---------------------------------
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Rebecca DeLong

zenmomma@... wrote: >>I've decided not to go the charter route next year. And I'm going to opt Jaiden out of testing. >>

WooHoo for you and Jaiden. Don't let the naysayers get you down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
trying not too. I haven't told anyone other than Jason(dh) and Jaiden yet.

Not sure it's any of my families buisness. They do not support what we're doing, and feel that IF I'm homeschooling them then it has to look just like school :P.

But it is hard not to share things with them, we're a pretty close family and in everyones buisness. One thing that Jason really dislikes about my family, he thinks I need to cut the cord. :)

~Rebecca


Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~

3boysleadtheway@...



---------------------------------
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Deb

--- In [email protected], "trektheory"
<trektheory@...> wrote:
>
> --- In [email protected], "Deb" <soggyboysmom@>
> wrote:
> >
> > And, I've learned that the Y chromosome seems to do something to
>the
> > thermostat. Both DH and DS will be running around in shorts and
> > tshirts (or sweatpants and t shirts) and I'll be in jeans and a
> > sweatshirt and socks and looking for a blanket to huddle under.
>
> LOL! I didn't think about that -- but it really could be
genetic!
> Don't guys in general have higher metabolisms? Curses!
>
> Linda
>
Actually, the average male body has more muscle mass than the
average female body - we've got more fat to help with gestation.
Muscle mass generates heat. I really love getting snuggled down
between my two guys (DS and DH) in the winter - it's like having
portable space heaters!

--Deb

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/24/06, Rebecca DeLong <elfmama_2@...> wrote:
>
>
> I'm a little scared, the family response will be less than stellar. The
> money that we recived was really helpful. And this will be my first "legal"
> year doing it all on my own.


What is the worst they can say? And would it change anything.
Self-confidence, optimism and determination can deter unwanted comments.
And, really, is it any of their business whether you use a charter or other
means to homeschool?

But I'm happy with the decision, Jason(dh) is on board with the idea of the
> r4 and with unschooling. Still getting him to the "radical" part of it, but
> he is on the way.


That's what is important. You and your dh have made a decision together that
you feel is best for your child. No one else matters :)





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/24/06, Rebecca DeLong <elfmama_2@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> Not sure it's any of my families buisness. They do not support what we're
> doing, and feel that IF I'm homeschooling them then it has to look just like
> school :P.
>
> But it is hard not to share things with them, we're a pretty close family
> and in everyones buisness. One thing that Jason really dislikes about my
> family, he thinks I need to cut the cord. :)


I share a lot with my mother but tend to be the broken record when it comes
to the children's "education." It goes something like this, "Yes; the
children are doing great with their studies. We have the perfect curriculum
for them. They are thriving in their home environment. Our social calendar
is as full as our learning calendar. And they are right where they are
supposed to be academically." I've not told one lie but it eases her fears.

I find it quite interesting that when someone has a child who is the public
school system, people very very rarely question what curriculum they are
using and whether they are getting enough of the right kind of
socialization.





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Rebecca DeLong

Pampered Chef Michelle <pamperedmichelle@...> wrote:

What is the worst they can say? And would it change anything.
Self-confidence, optimism and determination can deter unwanted comments.
And, really, is it any of their business whether you use a charter or other
means to homeschool?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mom works in the school system here in San Diego, she REALLY disagrees with homeschooling, and alot of my other parenting choices. She has talked about calling CPS on us, the truant board...

Part of me know that in her way, she means well, but I also know that alot of her problem with us homeschooling(unschooling hasn't be mentioned) is that she has a 12yr old, that is starting to dislike school, he knows that there is another option that our mom won't concider and it's begining to cause problems.

With the charter, Jaiden was in "school", it gave me some breathing room as far as she was concerned. But as Jason pointed out, it HAS to be about our kids, not about me and her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's what is important. You and your dh have made a decision together that
you feel is best for your child. No one else matters :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

I'm getting there. I'm in the process of changing the way I relate to my parents. I'm 28 and I have 3 kids. It's time that my parents see me as an adult, and it's time that I start acting like one with them. It's just hard to change a relationship thats been one way for so long and turn it into the one that I need it to be for me and my family.

Thanx!

~Rebecca






Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~

3boysleadtheway@...


__________________________________________________
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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/24/06, Rebecca DeLong <elfmama_2@...> wrote:
>
>
> My mom works in the school system here in San Diego, she REALLY disagrees
> with homeschooling, and alot of my other parenting choices. She has talked
> about calling CPS on us, the truant board...


And that means what? If you are complying with the law there is NOTHING the
truant officer can do even if your mother does work for the school board.
Just keep your homeschool documentation (the stuff that proves you are
following the letter of the law) handy. My brother is a police officer in a
neighboring town which does not have a truant officer (they have one
elementary, one middle and one high school - all located in the same block).
They "contract" out with the school district to investigate reports of
truancy (either provided by the schools or from individuals) The first
thing that they always ask when an individual calls complaining about
truancy is "Are they homeschooling?" If the answer is "I don't know"
they will contact the schools to see if the child is on the records. If not
they blow it off. If it is "yes" they tell the caller that they are
powerless unless there is signs of physical abuse or neglect and hang up.
My brother's ex homeschooled their daughter for 4 years and knows what the
laws are in the state. Most likely if your momcalled the truant officer she
would have to explain why she felt that the children were truant and I am
sure that homeschooling would eventually get mentioned. If not they would
come and investigate and you would show them your compliance paperwork and
they would leave you alone. :)

Part of me know that in her way, she means well, but I also know that alot
> of her problem with us homeschooling(unschooling hasn't be mentioned) is
> that she has a 12yr old, that is starting to dislike school, he knows that
> there is another option that our mom won't concider and it's begining to
> cause problems.


I aked my mom once, "Do you not trust me to make the best decisions that I
can for my children?" It always surprises me because my mother raised me
completely different from the way she was raised so I have a hard time
figuring out why she has a hard time dealing with me being even more radical
than she was. :)





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

Maisha,

I can really relate to this. My 5 1/2 year old daughter is very similar.
We have had conversations that try me past the end of my patience, because
I feel as though she is purposely trying to annoy me. What I have realized
though is that almost always, she is simply processing things in a
different way from the way I do. She is putting some pieces together, and
something is about to click for her if I can just hang in there. I get
frustrated with it much more often than I would like, but I'm learning. We
had one of these circular conversations yesterday, and after I felt as
though I answered the exact same question 6 times (literally)I snapped at
her. She got quiet, and I regretted it my reaction immediately. After
about 5 minutes, she was brave enough to make one more attempt, and she
phrased the question in a different way, and I realized that I had not
answered her question earlier at all. I had answered the question I
thought she was asking. I felt badly, and I thanked her for trying again,
and apologized for my behavior. She was so pleased when we got it cleared
up.

I would have given the details to this situation, but I think it would
have been too hard to get across. It involved which pile of dirt among
three was best for the trees we were planting.

Gayle Mom to Faye - 5 1/2 and Annika - 4 in 2 weeks




Now believe me...*I* know what I am dealing with here on a day to day
basis. I'm sure he needs more hugs - who doesn't? It wasn't that he
should know whether it was warm or not. It's that conversations with him
go in circles. I've been around enough 6 yr olds, and 6 yr old boys at
that to know when a conversation with one is out of the ordinary.







[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joanne

Hi Rebecca...jump on it, the water is fine. :-)

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
http://foreverparents.com



--- In [email protected], Rebecca DeLong
<elfmama_2@...> wrote:
>
>
>
> I have decided that today is a new day for me. A fresh start.
>
> I've been on this group(and may more unschooling groups) for a
long time, I tend to hide in the background, wanting to post having
things to say but hardly ever doing it. Why?
>
> Because as many of my schooly notions that I have tossed to the
wayside one has had a really good grip on me. I'm behind the class.
I try to read all the emails I get, knowing that there are so many
wise women on these boards that have help change my families life I
don't want to miss a thing. Well, life happens and I can't keep up
and I end up returning to an inbox FULL of emails.
>
> I'll read and start to reply then notice the date is a month
before, figure that every thing that could be said has been said and
I'll go back to reading.
>
> Today, I deleted (gulp) 3057 unread emails. Today is the day I
start to live in the now. I don't have to know everything that was
said last month. I'm not behind the class, there is no class. I can
be here now and get everything that I need to continue down the path
that my family has chosen.
>
> ~Rebecca
>
>
>
>
> Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self
will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and
thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~
>
> 3boysleadtheway@...
>
>
>
> ---------------------------------
> Celebrate Earth Day everyday! Discover 10 things you can do to
help slow climate change. Yahoo! Earth Day
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

Rebecca DeLong

Pampered Chef Michelle <pamperedmichelle@...> wrote: <<<I share a lot with my mother but tend to be the broken record when it comes
to the children's "education." It goes something like this, "Yes; the
children are doing great with their studies. We have the perfect curriculum
for them. They are thriving in their home environment. Our social calendar
is as full as our learning calendar. And they are right where they are
supposed to be academically." I've not told one lie but it eases her fears.>>>

I need to do that. I plan to use the "pass the bean dip" response when I talk to her, I just tend to give more and more info. I'm think I'm trying to hard to make her understand where we are.

<<<I find it quite interesting that when someone has a child who is the public
school system, people very very rarely question what curriculum they are
using and whether they are getting enough of the right kind of
socialization.>>>

Ahh, part of my problem, not only is my little brother in school, my mom works in the school system. So she thinks she knows all about cirriculum and what is needed at Jaidens age. She is constantly asking me if Jaiden has reached this level yet, or covered this concept yet. Drives me nuts.

~Rebecca








Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis ~Martha Beck~

3boysleadtheway@...



---------------------------------
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