Ren Allen

With the talk of toddlers,messes and bedtimes, I just thought I'd
share a little bit of last night and today with Jalen (3).

I got home from a four day stint of work (long days, two of them an
hour away in Mobile) around 5pm last night. I was totally exhausted
mentally and physically. By 11pm, I couldn't hold my head up and
told Jalen I was going to lay down.
He nursed a bit, then popped out of bed and said "goodnight Mom" and
headed out into the living room with dh and older boys.
I have no idea what was going on out there, I suppose he watched
some tv with them. In a bit (as I'm bordering the edge of
consciousness) he came in and curled up with me in bed. He put his
little arms around me and just snuggled for a few minutes, then
popped back up.
This happened once or twice more. One of the visits, I asked him to
close the bedroom door on his way out, saying "thanks Jalen" when he
complied. "Welcome Mom" I heard from the hallway. So sweet.
Finally, dh was coming to bed. He said "Jalen, Mom is going to
sleep, if you want to come lay down now" (also asking Trevor and
Jared to keep an eye on him if he needed anything).
About two minutes later he came into the dark room and snuggled up
to nurse. He was out in no time!
I thought it was really sweet the way he would be out with everyone
else, then decide he needed some Mom loves and come in where I was
laying down.

Just now, he found a bag of old plastic Easter eggs and started
throwing them around the room. I felt that familiar twang of "damn,
I don't want to clean those up!) but I watched and listened. He was
throwing bombs, a wonderful twinkle in his eye.
After he was done, he moved on to the kitchen, where I was cutting
up some broccoli.
"TREES!" he said joyfully. I cut him a "tree" and he immediately lay
down on the kitchen floor and went into a fantasy world. He was
talking to something and telling it about "big trees" while standing
the broccoli upright, taking a small munch every once in a while.
I picked up the eggs, while he played in broccoli land (naked by the
way, from his earlier foray into a full kitchen sink).
My naked little broccoli boy.:)

I guess my sharing is to illustrate that when playful exploration
becomes the focus, the bedtime/food/clean up issues are secondary.
They still exist, but the focus is different.
My hang ups still exist, but I'm aware enough to not let them come
into the forefront of our lives (most of the time anyway:)

Someone asked about the deschooling process and whether we ever
completely deschooled. I don't know the answer to that.
I haven't completely in some ways. I don't think I can undo 13 years
of my life and the thought processes that went with it. Rather than
trying to pretend like those thoughts, and that lifestyle didn't
exist, I simply accept it as part of me. It's part of who I am...all
those experiences are mine. I'm ok with that now.
If you become aware enough of those schoolish thoughts, that they no
longer control your choices or actions, then you're deschooled.
I don't think that means the primal reactions necessarily go away
completely, or thoughts don't pop up occasionally, unsolicited.
It's there, it's part of my past, but it doesn't have to dictate my
life today.

Ren

earthmothergypsy

Ren,

Thanks for sharing! This was great. :)
Sounds a lot like my house-though bedtimes aren't an issue for us.
The girls fall asleep on their own fairly early in the evening from
exhaustion. lol! I am very thankful for this!

With my youngins, well lets just say that anything can make it into
the house. From frogs to rocks to.......... We have a frog in the
frontroom right now. lol! DH and ds are mowing lawn, so the girls
have to be inside. 6yr old dd had a frog when they told her it was
time to come inside and the frog followed. lol! Poor thing will be
lucky to escape alive. He is supposed to be going to live in the
garden.

Seems we always have a learning mess here. I have gotten used to it
now, but it was a hard transition. The biggest thing that helped me
was getting organized. Having everything (my stuff) in its proper
place. We also went to the extent of organizing toys into groups and
boxes to help with clutter. The girls can pull out a large tub of
legos to play, or a large tub of puzzles to play, or block...well you
the picture. We are trying to gently teach about putting away things
when you are done, so you have room for the next project. It works
some days and not others.

I just love watching my kids learn and play. There is just nothing
better and I feel sorry for all the families that miss this by
sending their children away to "school".

~Amanda


--- In [email protected], "Ren Allen"
<starsuncloud@n...> wrote:
> With the talk of toddlers,messes and bedtimes, I just thought I'd
> share a little bit of last night and today with Jalen (3).
>
> I got home from a four day stint of work (long days, two of them an
> hour away in Mobile) around 5pm last night. I was totally exhausted
> mentally and physically. By 11pm, I couldn't hold my head up and
> told Jalen I was going to lay down.
> He nursed a bit, then popped out of bed and said "goodnight Mom"
and
> headed out into the living room with dh and older boys.
> I have no idea what was going on out there, I suppose he watched
> some tv with them. In a bit (as I'm bordering the edge of
> consciousness) he came in and curled up with me in bed. He put his
> little arms around me and just snuggled for a few minutes, then
> popped back up.
> This happened once or twice more. One of the visits, I asked him to
> close the bedroom door on his way out, saying "thanks Jalen" when
he
> complied. "Welcome Mom" I heard from the hallway. So sweet.
> Finally, dh was coming to bed. He said "Jalen, Mom is going to
> sleep, if you want to come lay down now" (also asking Trevor and
> Jared to keep an eye on him if he needed anything).
> About two minutes later he came into the dark room and snuggled up
> to nurse. He was out in no time!
> I thought it was really sweet the way he would be out with everyone
> else, then decide he needed some Mom loves and come in where I was
> laying down.
>
> Just now, he found a bag of old plastic Easter eggs and started
> throwing them around the room. I felt that familiar twang of "damn,
> I don't want to clean those up!) but I watched and listened. He was
> throwing bombs, a wonderful twinkle in his eye.
> After he was done, he moved on to the kitchen, where I was cutting
> up some broccoli.
> "TREES!" he said joyfully. I cut him a "tree" and he immediately
lay
> down on the kitchen floor and went into a fantasy world. He was
> talking to something and telling it about "big trees" while
standing
> the broccoli upright, taking a small munch every once in a while.
> I picked up the eggs, while he played in broccoli land (naked by
the
> way, from his earlier foray into a full kitchen sink).
> My naked little broccoli boy.:)
>
> I guess my sharing is to illustrate that when playful exploration
> becomes the focus, the bedtime/food/clean up issues are secondary.
> They still exist, but the focus is different.
> My hang ups still exist, but I'm aware enough to not let them come
> into the forefront of our lives (most of the time anyway:)
>
> Someone asked about the deschooling process and whether we ever
> completely deschooled. I don't know the answer to that.
> I haven't completely in some ways. I don't think I can undo 13
years
> of my life and the thought processes that went with it. Rather than
> trying to pretend like those thoughts, and that lifestyle didn't
> exist, I simply accept it as part of me. It's part of who I
am...all
> those experiences are mine. I'm ok with that now.
> If you become aware enough of those schoolish thoughts, that they
no
> longer control your choices or actions, then you're deschooled.
> I don't think that means the primal reactions necessarily go away
> completely, or thoughts don't pop up occasionally, unsolicited.
> It's there, it's part of my past, but it doesn't have to dictate my
> life today.
>
> Ren

[email protected]

In a message dated 27/06/2004 10:28:01 Pacific Daylight Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:


> I guess my sharing is to illustrate that when playful exploration
> becomes the focus, the bedtime/food/clean up issues are secondary.
> They still exist, but the focus is different.
> My hang ups still exist, but I'm aware enough to not let them come
> into the forefront of our lives (most of the time anyway:)
>

Hey, thank you a million times over for this post , Ren. It could not have
come at a better time for me. My dd is 2yrs10mos, and very busy and fun. But
right now I am grumping at her for throwing things around, not so available when
she needs me, a little impatient at her for a lot of things, then wondering
why she is being so needy of me and so unhappy. To hear this stuff from you can
make me sit down and think about what I am doing and why. I appreciate this
look into your time with naked broccoli boy Jalen, and I will go have tea with
naked tea girl Lesley Ann.
Nancy in BC


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ren

"I appreciate this
look into your time with naked broccoli boy Jalen, and I will go have tea with

naked tea girl Lesley Ann."

If you come to the conference, we'll have to make sure we have broccoli and tea somewhere.:) Should be interesting.

Ren


Learn about unschooling at:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/unschoolingbasics/