Ren Allen

"This all makes me glad that I have just boys, thank goodness this will
never be an issue for me, but there will always be other concerns"

It isn't an issue unless you decide to make it one! Don't live in
fear...get informed and be STRONG in your choices.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

Ren Allen

"He said there was no law but the
department would certainly view it negatively if they were called in
to check on the family for something.

What's not to understand?"

Why you would let that influence anything you do. Why anyone would
live in fear of CPS. Why something that is not enforceable, but only
the negative opinion of a few folks, would cause anyone to change what
they do. Old prejudices die hard. But old prejudices are not law, nor
can they do a damn thing about it.
Besides, how often do you think CPS is going to knock on your door?
I've had it happen and it was honestly NO big deal. Most of them
aren't out to get people. Just make sure children are safe. The rabid
ones are less common than you'd think. And if you know your rights,
know the law and are a good parent, you really don't have anything to
worry about.

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

[email protected]

I've been out of town, but just read these messages. Just yesterday on our
drive back, my mom and I had a conversation about this. My children share a
room. My dd is 3 1/2 ( and usually sleeps in my bed anyway) and ds is almost
6. We have 2 bedrooms upstairs in our house- one for them and one for us.
Our downstairs does have an extra room area we will use when ds is older. For
now, since that area is full of toys and books, they share the upstairs
bedroom.
We also feel safer that way because we live in the middle of nowhere and
heat only with wood. Homes around here tend to burn down often due to all the
woodstoves, and the fire dept takes a while to come out this far. I don't
want to have to worry about them being to far away from us at night, because the
fire man won't be there in time to rescue them.
I'm not obsessed about this or anything, but our current arrangement is
working out fine, they like sharing a room, when ds gets older he can move
downstairs, BUT I can't believe they have LAWS about this! Tons of people I know
have their kids share rooms, not everyone lives in a huge house and only has a
kid or two!
My mom was asking me when I'll move the kids room and she said maybe a year
or 2, I was like, no I was thinking atleast not until he's 10 or so. She was
shocked them because they "need thier privacy". Hmmm, just funny that this
was being discussed here while I was also having the same conversation!
Amanda B.


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Ellen Christian

I didn't check on this for me. My kids are 8 and 13 and have no desire to share a room. They'd probably kill each other within a day if they did. I was just sharing the information in case anyone in Vermont was considering it.

Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...> wrote: Why you would let that influence anything you do. Why anyone would
live in fear of CPS. Why something that is not enforceable, but only
the negative opinion of a few folks, would cause anyone to change what
they do.


Ellen LaFleche-Christian - Garden Zone 4/5
Moonlight Creations Jewelry & Gifts http://moonlight-creations-jewelry.com
Receive a recipe every day http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ARecipeADay/




---------------------------------
New Yahoo! Messenger with Voice. Call regular phones from your PC and save big.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Nicole Willoughby

She was
shocked them because they "need thier privacy".>>>>>>>>>>>>>

They will let you know when they need their privacy . and of course there are many ways to accomplish this even if there is no other room to move him to


---------------------------------
Talk is cheap. Use Yahoo! Messenger to make PC-to-Phone calls. Great rates starting at 1¢/min.

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/14/2006 9:29:13 A.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
starsuncloud@... writes:

get informed


LOL........that's why I asked earlier where to I go to get informed.....I'm
not good at investigating.......for some reason I never get the answers I'm
looking for! LOL

Mandy
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

The negative opinion of a CPS social worker is VERY enforceable in family courts. Absolutely every decision made there is a judgement call, nothing is black and white.

Real life example:

Mom came to CPS attention for some unknown reason, probably drug use. Mom entered a family shelter with her two year old. A man in the shelter was sexually abusing kids but hadn't been thrown out. Mom would have needed to leave two year old at shelter with worker while she went to work. Mom found other housing and moved herself and daughter to a safe place. Mom called CPS and informed them. CPS worker swarmed in and removed daughter to foster care for 4 months. I was the foster mom.

I don't think you should live in fear of CPS; but to say that those opinions aren't enforceable is a vast overstatement.

And a comment about the lawyers that you are given pro-bono in CPS cases. In the 14 foster kids I had, each with their own lawyer, I was NEVER contacted by the lawyer at all. The lawyer never met the kids except in court, the lawyers never talked to schools or neighbors. The enforce the very basic minimum rights of the kids. I was even calling judges to complain that lawyers weren't doing right by the kids and just got kind of blank looks in return.

Julie S.



----- Original Message -----
From: Ren Allen <starsuncloud@...>
Date: Friday, April 14, 2006 9:35 am
Subject: [unschoolingbasics] same sex sharing a room

> "He said there was no law but the
> department would certainly view it negatively if they were called in
> to check on the family for something.
>
> What's not to understand?"
>
> Why you would let that influence anything you do. Why anyone would
> live in fear of CPS. Why something that is not enforceable, but only
> the negative opinion of a few folks, would cause anyone to change what
> they do. Old prejudices die hard. But old prejudices are not law, nor
> can they do a damn thing about it.
> Besides, how often do you think CPS is going to knock on your door?
> I've had it happen and it was honestly NO big deal. Most of them
> aren't out to get people. Just make sure children are safe. The rabid
> ones are less common than you'd think. And if you know your rights,
> know the law and are a good parent, you really don't have anything to
> worry about.
>
> Ren
> learninginfreedom.com
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Yahoo! Groups Links
>
>
>
>
>
>
>

aplan4life

I'm sorry, just want to clarify here. This is "Child Abuse Prevention
Month" afterall. Neglect, Emotional, Physical and Sexual abuse are
all on about every website discussing child abuse. On these same
websites are signs to look for in children although, I'd say some
people could easily jump to conclusions and make a horrid accusation
against someone and that can and does end up a horrible situation.
However, not one site speaks of there being any 'fishy' with a brother
and sister sharing a room.

Why is it that CPS is so much more a threat to good people than they
are with the ones who are actually causing true abuse? Yes, they do
some good but from what I've been learning, they really don't do shit
for real victims.


--- In [email protected], jnjstau@... wrote:
>
> The negative opinion of a CPS social worker is VERY enforceable in
family courts. Absolutely every decision made there is a judgement
call, nothing is black and white.
>

Christy Mahoney

In military housing, it's more an issue of limited availability.
For example, there are only a few housing units with 4 bedroooms,
and those are reserved for families that have a lot of kids. I grew
up in a family of 8 in Air Force housing, and there was nothing
bigger than 4 bedrooms. I shared a room with my little brother for
a while because my 2 older sisters shared and my 2 older brothers
shared.

When we lived in Turkey, I was so worried that my 2 girls would have
to share a room. In past years, people were allowed to live off
base there, and a lot of people did because it was so so cheap, but
after 9/11 they changed the rules so that everyone had to live in
base housing for safety reasons. So obviously there was limited
housing. If you have opposite sex kids over a certain age (10
maybe?) then you are entitled to separate rooms for them. We were
lucky that we did end up with a bedrooom for each girl, but a lot of
people weren't so lucky.

Just FYI
-Christy

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/14/2006 12:49:21 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
aplan4life@... writes:

they really don't do shit
for real victims.



You just hit the nail on the head. I grew up abused, and reported it time
and time again. To the school, to counselors, you name it. Nothing was ever
done. But I have seen perfectly good parents have their children taken out
of their home for up to a year for ridiculous reasons.

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

S Drag-teine

To be honest, thy would probably view it negatively if they new our kids
sleep with us most the time or one of us in their beds depending on who they
want but they don't ask so I don't tell.

Shannon


"He said there was no law but the
department would certainly view it negatively if they were called in
to check on the family for something.

D Smith

This topic is close to home. I have called the police
and even CPS on my sister for her negelect and welfare
of my niece. But they did nothing. My sister lives
with a drug dealer. She also, has various people
(druggies) in and out of her home. But does anything
happen to her, No. :( I worry about my niece. But I've
learned, that there is nothing I can do to protect
her. Also, I have a feeling if she ever called either
about me, I'd be in trouble. A neighbor had her
daughter taken by CPS. She and the father are good
parents. But her Mom got into a fight with her, called
CPS all to hurt her daughter. It's just so sad. The
poor baby was taken for six months. CPS doesn't think
about the children they take. They believe they are
doing good, but IMO they do more harm.
Danie

__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/14/2006 8:02:41 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
sandshuse@... writes:

of my niece. But they did nothing. My sister lives
with a drug dealer. She also, has various people
(druggies) in and out of her home. But does anything
happen to her, No. :( I worry about my niece. But I've
learned, that there is nothing I can do to protect
her. Also, I have a feeling if she ever called either
about me, I'd be in trouble.


You are SOOOOOOO right, just because you follow a different drummer! You
must be a bad mother! UGH i hate that BS, and yes I know that hate is a "bad
word" but I'm so sick of how good parents are judged!

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]