trektheory

--- In [email protected], LuvnMomma24boys@... wrote:
>
> Hi, I'm fairly new to the group, I'm thinking of taking my kids
out of
> school......do you have any advice for me..........i'm
scared........lol
>
>
> Mandy

My advice is to take a deeeep breath. Hyperventilating really
messes up the ability to think clearly! Then -- take them home. I
don't know what ages you have or anything, but if you have started
to consider it, consider this: I really wish I had started
homeschooling sooner. We have been at it nearly 4 years. My son
learned all sorts of things at school. He learned to memorize and
spit back info, rather than to think about it, analyze it,
extrapolate from it. (He could extrapolate beyond the facts before,
and when I realized that he shut down when asked non-factual
questions, I panicked that he was ruined for life. The
extrapolative ability came back within a year -- from a rather
quirky direction, but I didn't care where, just that he had it
again!) He learned to take frequent mental breaks, to dawdle, to
not focus on his tasks, and to stretch them out. Not beneficial to
him, imo! (Nothing wrong with mental breaks, but when a 10 minute
task takes hours, there is something wrong!) This is NOT an ADD
kid, mind you -- and we are JUST getting that focus back. He had to
find the right motivation and instigate it.

He lost a love of reading, due to reading requirements and rewards.
(Ever read Punished by Rewards by Alfie Kohn?)

He learned how to manipulate a teacher (he never did anything bad,
but got away with a lot of silliness, and really got away with
things I wish he hadn't.) (The teacher was very sweet, but my son's
sense of humor and out-of-the-box thinking tended to be a half-step
or so ahead of her...)

When you have your kids home, hug them. Tell them how happy you are
to have them with you at home. Connect with others, find out what
they want to do, build a fort, go for a walk, go to the library (my
home away from home), connect with your kids.

I don't know what prompted you to consider taking your kids out, but
whatever the reason is, I suspect that after you have been doing it
a while, you will find lots of other reasons to keep them home. My
son has NO desire to go back to school (though he says he wants to
go to college at some point), and I know I love having him at home,
love the freedom, the conversations we have, seeing his perspective
on things, having his help on occasion.

You'll be amazed at what it can be like.

Linda

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/10/2006 8:21:55 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
trektheory@... writes:

When you have your kids home, hug them


I ALWAYS DO! I am a very hands on mom, my kids know i love them, I've been
a SAHM since my first son was born. I have 4 boys, ages 9, 7, 3, and 2. I
think it is very important to let your kids know they are loved
unconditionally and that i will always stand behind them.

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/10/2006 8:21:55 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
trektheory@... writes:


You'll be amazed at what it can be like.

Linda


Thank you, a lot of things have brought me here, but basically there is just
an unhappiness with the public school system and the fact that they want to
put all of my children in the same mold, and make some of them feel "stupid"
because they don't fit that mold. But they are intelligent, they just don't
follow the "norm". I am unhappy with an attendance policy that states that I
need to take my children to the doctor because they have a stomach bug. I
refuse to put my children on medication because a teacher classifies them as
ADHD when they just need to be engaged in an activity. Shown a more
interesting way to see it

Thanks, I'm just scared I don't have the ability to show them what they need
to see!

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Joanne

Hi Mandy...welcome!
It wasn't that long ago that I was thinking of taking my kids out of
school. I did a lot of reading, online and in books and I also
sought out other homeschoolers (offline) and talked to them abput
their experiences.
Can you tell us a little more about your kids? :-) What's making you
want to take them out of school and do they want to leave school?
And yes, I was scared also. LOL In the end though, you'll be
fine...just fine. :-)

~ Joanne ~
Mom to Jacqueline (7), Shawna (10) & Cimion (13)
Adopted into our hearts October 30, 2003
http://anunschoolinglife.blogspot.com/
http://foreverparents.com




--- In [email protected], LuvnMomma24boys@... wrote:
>
> Hi, I'm fairly new to the group, I'm thinking of taking my kids
out of
> school......do you have any advice for me..........i'm
scared........lol
>
>
> Mandy
>
> (http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
> (http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
>
>
> [Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>

[email protected]

OK, Hi all! I am a SAHM of 4 wonderful boys. They are 9, 7, 3, and 2. I
want to take them out of school because I don't think they are living up to
their potential and I don't think they are learning as easily as they could be.
Learning has become a chore for them and I don't like that. I have one son
(my 7 year old) that has ADD. But it is extremely manageable if you can
take the time. I do not believe he needs meds for this. I just think he needs
a different approach to learning and life. He is a bright and intelligent
boy, but that is not being appreciated by his current school. All they want is
more meds. I tried meds and did not like who he became on them, so I
quickly removed him as soon as I could possibly do so. MY 9 yr old is a bright and
very inquisitive boy. Extremely intelligent, I worry if I can keep up with
him. My 3 year old is a normal healthy happy young child. My 2 year old
has colaboma and was diagnosed with something called CHARGE syndrome, which
seems like a crock to me (don't get offended if your child has this!), but to me
it seems like a syndrome for parents to put a "label" on their child. My
child has a slight abnormality, but nothing that should put him in the learning
disabled category. He may not speak on schedule, but he has been able to
put puzzles together since he was 6 mos. old. All children will learn on their
own schedule has been my opinion for many years, but until someone told me
of this group, it never occurred to me that there was a way to continue
teaching my child in this way!

Thanks, and I hope I have provided enough information.

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

>>Hi, I'm fairly new to the group, I'm thinking of taking my kids out of school......do you have any advice for me..........i'm scared........lol>>

Hi Mandy. Welcome to the group.

I think it's normal to be a little scared when thinking about venturing off into something so new. After all, most of us went to school. Some of us went for 16+ years! It's what we know. It's what society tells us is important over and over again. But if you're considering something different for your family you must have a reason. There must be something about this system of schooling that's not working for you.

So try to relax and focus on why you're asking the kinds of questions you are regarding schooling. Read all you can about unschooling here and at other sites. www.sandradodd.com/unschooling is a really complete site with tons of info. Think about what you hope to give your family by releasing them from school. Think about the joy of having them home.

I was once in your situation. My son went to school through 4th grade. I was scared too, but bringing my son home and giving him the freedom to learn has been the best decision I've made for him. He's 16 now and every bit as intelligent, self-assured, caring and interesting as I knew he was way back when school told me I needed to "fix" him.


--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: LuvnMomma24boys@...

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/10/06, LuvnMomma24boys@... <LuvnMomma24boys@...> wrote:
>
> Hi, I'm fairly new to the group, I'm thinking of taking my kids out of
> school......do you have any advice for me..........i'm scared........lol


Mandy, which is more frightening? Bringing your kids home where you can
nurture their spirits or leaving them in school where they will continue
with the same that they currently are getting?

I just don't believe if you are an attentive parent that you can screw your
kids up by bringing them home. What is it exactly that frightens you so?





--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/10/2006 10:21:15 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
pamperedmichelle@... writes:

I just don't believe if you are an attentive parent that you can screw your
kids up by bringing them home. What is it exactly that frightens you so?


That I can't keep up with them.......i'm very ADD and have a hard time
paying attention to details.........LOL

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

trektheory

--- In [email protected], LuvnMomma24boys@... wrote:
>

> Learning has become a chore for them and I don't like that. I
have one son
> (my 7 year old) that has ADD. But it is extremely manageable if
you can
> take the time. I do not believe he needs meds for this. I just
think he needs
> a different approach to learning and life. He is a bright and
intelligent
> boy, but that is not being appreciated by his current school.

Do remember, gifted kids often exhibit ADD-like symptoms w/out
actually being ADD. I truly think that if my son had been in ps all
along, they would have tried to slap that label on him. That
doesn't mean that your son isn't ADD -- and if he is, I have heard
there are lots of ways in dealing with it.

BTW, I also think that my son would have gotten phenomenally
mediocre grades if he were in school. It is hard to pay attention
when you already know the material....



All they want is
> more meds. I tried meds and did not like who he became on them,
so I
> quickly removed him as soon as I could possibly do so. MY 9 yr
old is a bright and
> very inquisitive boy. Extremely intelligent, I worry if I can
keep up with
> him.

Check out homeschoolingmensans. A lot of folk there worry about
those issues, too. My son is 14, and although I know I can't
understand/teach everything he wants to learn, he is capable of
reading and understanding a LOT. You can also find others in the
area who might serve as mentors if your son has a particular
interest in depth.

One of the great things about homeschooling is that they CAN follow
their passions, even if it isn't something that schools teach. My
son could tell you a fair bit about codes and the enigma machine --
more than I know about! If he were in school, he probably wouldn't
have had the time to learn about this, because he would have had 6
hours there, plus a good 2 hours or more homework. (Do you read the
comics? Zits? There was a series of strips about how Jeremy was so
tired, and his mother asked how did they expect kids to learn if
they are so tired from doing so much homework. Jeremy said that
they don't go to school to learn, they go to get their homework
assignments!)



> All children will learn on their
> own schedule has been my opinion for many years,

I agree! Asking them to learn lockstep is kind of like asking them
to grow and develop lockstep. My son is 14, but looks 12. He
hasn't hit puberty yet, but the majority of 14 yr olds have. So,
does he need remedial growth classes? (I say no -- I know he will
be taller than me within a year without hitting that classic growth
spurt, and I don't want to be shorter than him any sooner than I
need to!)

Sounds like you have lots of really good reasons to want to
homeschool. I would say, go ahead and do it. They are unhappy in
school -- and so often that causes spill-over behavior at home. You
are unhappy with their school experiences. The worries about
handling things down the road when they are older -- I know I had
them, but somehow,it seems to work out okay! At least, it has so
far for us.

Linda

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/11/2006 8:43:43 A.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
trektheory@... writes:

It is hard to pay attention
when you already know the material....


How true that is...........and he is very gifted.........he learns so
quickly.........the school system just wants everyone that doesn't fit their mold
on meds....I just can't agree with that

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

Pampered Chef Michelle

On 4/10/06, LuvnMomma24boys@...
That I can't keep up with them.......i'm very ADD and have a hard time
paying attention to details.........LOL


This is one of my favorite subjects - ADD/ADHD. I have a theory that I have
put together after years of looking at ADD/ADHD. I believe that the
majority of people, especially adults, who have been labelled ADD/ADHD
actually are BORED. They are working in professions that bring them little
or no joy. They think they are ADD because they can't pay attention. Yet
they go home and spend all weekend tying flies, gardening, reading, building
model railroads, dinking with their computers, etc etc etc and have no
problem paying attention. We also are a society that is conditioned to
think of life in 30 minute intervals. We are a "sitcom society." And to
make it worse we need at least one "commercial break" for every 30 minutes
of our life! We've made ourselves distractable. And then there is the
whole food influence. Look at all the additives, preservatives, colorings,
flavorings, and fillers we have added to our food to make them fit into that
30 minute sitcom life. We can make dinner in 20 minutes because we just
have to "fix it and forget it." Fast food makes up a good portion of the US
diet. Who can think when they have been saturated with fat, cholesterol,
empty complex carbohydrates, and lacking in fresh vegetables, fruits and
*real* foods?

The beautiful part of bringing your children home is that you get to be on
vacation for the rest of your life. Think of it like that. You are free to
do whatever you want. You can play, sing, laugh, dance, and get totally
engrossed in the things that you and your children want to do. Don't
categorize things into "adult things" and "kid things." Enjoy getting down
on the floor and playing with building blocks. Relive the joy of digging in
the dirt. Go ride your bike and get into a "children's book" And on the
reverse, invite your children to get into your world. Let them meet the
characters of West Wing, read to them from a book that you have enjoyed (The
DaVinci code is a current favorite in our house), invite them into the
kitchen to help prepare meals, and if they would like let them stay for an
"adult" service at church. The church we used to attend did not require
children leave for the children's building during church and our oldest
enjoyed many services.

I realize that there are people who truly do have ADD. I think right now it
is a handy phrase to make "I'm bored" sound better.


--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Ask me how you can save 60% on some of our most favorite products!


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

trektheory

--- In [email protected], LuvnMomma24boys@... wrote:

>
>
> How true that is...........and he is very gifted.........he learns
so
> quickly.........the school system just wants everyone that doesn't
fit their mold

Oh, don't you just hate moldy kids? ;-)

Linda

[email protected]

>>i'm very ADD and have a hard time paying attention to details.>>

You don't need to pay attention to details. Just pay attention to your children. :o)

And FWIW, labels like ADD usually don't have much meaning in an unschooling life. The behavior traits are still there, but when you're learning to work with and for yourself, it doesn't seem to matter.

--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: LuvnMomma24boys@...

[email protected]

>>Do remember, gifted kids often exhibit ADD-like symptoms w/out actually being ADD.>>

Unschooling will flow more naturally once you let go of these labels, even the so called positive ones like "gifted." They are VERY useful when dealing with the school system, and I understand about gifted traits, but once your children are immersed in just living and learning at their own pace and in their own way, the labels really just get in the way.
--
~Mary, former label loving momma
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "trektheory" <trektheory@...>

[email protected]

>>I believe that the majority of people, especially adults, who have been labelled ADD/ADHD actually are BORED. They are working in professions that bring them little or no joy. They think they are ADD because they can't pay attention. >>

There are definitely jobs that lend themselves to the personality traits currently labelled ADD. My husband and I once saw a TV commercial about adult ADD. It said something like "What if you were at a meeting and had 20 thoughts racing through your head at the same time?" Jon just laughed and said "Run a restaurant! You need to be able to think and juggle 20 things at the same time."

And that's just what he did. He quit the corporate grind and we bought a coffeeshop that he expanded into a full-fledged restaurant. He probably works harder now than ever before, but it's different. He loves it.

--
~Mary
http://zenmommasgarden.blogspot.com/

"The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the
green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly
alive."
~Thich Nhat Hanh

-------------- Original message ----------------------
From: "Pampered Chef Michelle" <pamperedmichelle@...>

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/11/2006 7:37:30 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
zenmomma@... writes:

He probably works harder now than ever before, but it's different. He loves
it.


Being happy with where you are in the world is sooooo important. I think
todays society has too many labels for what we should be.

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/11/2006 7:41:47 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
zenmomma@... writes:

>>i'm very ADD and have a hard time paying attention to details.>>

You don't need to pay attention to details. Just pay attention to your
children. :o)

And FWIW, labels like ADD usually don't have much meaning in an unschooling
life. The behavior traits are still there, but when you're learning to work
with and for yourself, it doesn't seem to matter.


This seems like such a good idea for my family and our life........now I
just need to sell my husband on it......he is big on the fact that kids have to
be socialized.....and I don't even really get that......they get plenty of
practice dealing with ppl just w/in our family and church. But right now he is
very adamant against homeschooling in any form, let alone
unschooling......i've been reading the posts, but do any of your hubbys ever say anything, i
would like to be able to show him something from a male point of view.

TX
Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

trektheory

--- In [email protected], LuvnMomma24boys@... wrote:
>
>
> This seems like such a good idea for my family and our
life........now I
> just need to sell my husband on it......he is big on the fact
that kids have to
> be socialized

Oooh, the ugly S word! :-0 We worried about that initially, too.
But if you look at what outcome you want, is it for your children
to learn behaviors from kids exactly their age? Would you want a
bunch of 7 yr olds setting the standards? Because that, really, is
what is happening. As for learning to get along with others of
different ilk -- that, too happens in the homeschool world. In
fact, it happens better. Homeschoolers are a very diverse bunch,
and the ages mingle more than in public school.

You need to get the right books in front of him, with pages
bookmarked that will speak to his particular concerns. It seems a
lot more fathers are hard sells to homeschooling than moms. And
some don't come around until their children are so totally miserable
that they realize something HAS to be done. Far better to pre-
emptively deal with things, than let them come to such a head, imo.

My dh is fully behind our homeschooling at this point. My folks
were worried about social issues, too -- and they don't seem to have
those concerns anymore.

If you can pin down his exact concerns (there might be more than
just that issue), you can calmly deal with them -- when he is in a
receptive mood. At least, that is what I would recommend.

Linda

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/11/2006 11:16:07 P.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
trektheory@... writes:

You need to get the right books in front of him, with pages
bookmarked that will speak to his particular concerns.


My husband is more of a doer than a reader........can you recommend books
that would be good for him. I don't think he has ever voluntarily picked up a
book to read.

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/11/2006 10:24:39 AM Eastern Daylight Time,
pamperedmichelle@... writes:


> The church we used to attend did not require
> children leave for the children's building during church and our oldest
> enjoyed many services.
>
Our church has a few different places for kids at various ages and although
our kids love going to to their service, they also love coming with us to our
service and do so all the time. Our 12 yo prefers ours most of the time.

I agree with you sooooo much on your take concerning add, adhd Michelle! I
have a friend who's son is adhd & adehd. They have him taking antidepressants,
and what ever the latest drugs are for his "disorders." They "up" his dosage
constantly and the poor kid has been on them since he was THREE! He's now 12. I
feel so sorry for him! His diet consists completely of prepackaged, over
processed, quick foods, he was thrown into tons of different child care places just
about since birth. Although he is capable of getting great grades, he has
lots of trouble in school. It's really sad.

Nancy


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

[email protected]

In a message dated 4/12/2006 7:32:20 A.M. US Eastern Standard Time,
barndogzzz@... writes:

the poor kid has been on them since he was THREE!


It's amazing what parents will do these days to actually get away w/out
having to parent in my opinion. The label ADD doesn't bother me. But the idea
that my child needs to be put on meds for it does. He just needs to go about
getting his education in a different way. I dont think we all learn the same
way, which makes no sense as to why they try to teach everyone the same way.

Mandy

(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)
(http://www.baby-gaga.com/) (http://www.baby-gaga.com/)


[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]