taking turns?
Maisha Khalfani
So I'm working on the whole gentle-parenting thing. Admittedly it's frustrating for me because I'm working full time right now, and will be for another week or so (temp), and hubby and I don't see eye-to-eye on this issue at all. And also because two of my kids are in school so that I can work (bummer).
Alas....here is my question for a specific example: We have one computer that 5 of us share. (dh has his own, me and the kids share mine). I've been letting them all use the computer as much as they'd like, but they will have to take turns. It's not working out too well. There's too much "he was on longer" and "I didn't get a chance today". So I'm thinking I'm going to have to get a timer??? I don't see any other solution to this. And my 3 yo doesn't understand that he has to wait his turn, and gets frustrated whenever I say "yes, you can play on the computer after fill-in-the-blank has their turn. I know he doesn't understand the concept of "later" yet, and it sounds like "no" to him. Is there something else I can say instead?
And no, they cannot use dh's computer.
I'm open to suggestions.
PS - we have the same problem with the television as well. You know "I don't want to watch that!" etc , etc.
Maisha
Wife to Jabari
Mom to Rohana - 16, Safiya - 7, Dakari - 6, Khalid - 3, Khidar - who will be one this Tuesday.
"Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and dance with the Earth in all her glorious colors." ~ Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
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Alas....here is my question for a specific example: We have one computer that 5 of us share. (dh has his own, me and the kids share mine). I've been letting them all use the computer as much as they'd like, but they will have to take turns. It's not working out too well. There's too much "he was on longer" and "I didn't get a chance today". So I'm thinking I'm going to have to get a timer??? I don't see any other solution to this. And my 3 yo doesn't understand that he has to wait his turn, and gets frustrated whenever I say "yes, you can play on the computer after fill-in-the-blank has their turn. I know he doesn't understand the concept of "later" yet, and it sounds like "no" to him. Is there something else I can say instead?
And no, they cannot use dh's computer.
I'm open to suggestions.
PS - we have the same problem with the television as well. You know "I don't want to watch that!" etc , etc.
Maisha
Wife to Jabari
Mom to Rohana - 16, Safiya - 7, Dakari - 6, Khalid - 3, Khidar - who will be one this Tuesday.
"Live each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and dance with the Earth in all her glorious colors." ~ Henry David Thoreau (1817 - 1862)
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Pampered Chef Michelle
On 4/1/06, Maisha Khalfani <earthspirit393@...> wrote:
until they are finished. Then you can have a turn." You can also make
"bargains" with your older kids that they can stay up after the little ones
go to bed to get more time in. We did that for a long time when we had one
computer. Also is there anyway that your dh could allow your oldest child
to have access to his computer? They could have an agreement like no
downloads and only certain websites on his computer? We are fortunate to
currently have 3 working computers. Another option is to find an
alternative activity for whomever it is that is feeling momentarily
computerless. For instance a movie they have wanted to see, helping you
with something, a video game or some other something that is a "hot
commodity" but only available one at a time. It doesn't always pacify the
need, but can sometimes help ease things over.
Also, how much time would your 3yo spend in the computer once on it? You
might ask whoever is currently on the computer if the 3yo could be on it.
Talk to them about this ahead of time. I remember when my son was that age
he would beg to be on the computer (this is when we also had just one). But
he would be on it for no more than an hour if that (usually 15 minutes). It
was that "right to be on it" thing more than really wanting to be on it. We
learned very quickly that if we just let him on it he would be done
relatively soon and then someone else could use the computer.
And no, they cannot use dh's computer.
Ooops didn't see this. Does he have a reason why they can't? My co-parent
has a computer that is his "work computer." It has stuff on it that would
be detrimental to his company if it got messed up. He has that part of the
computer password protected. And there are certain restrictions on his
computer such as no downloading of programs, only going to certain websites
that we know are safe from viruses and spyware, saving any word documents to
a disk or e-mailing them to ourselves so we can open them on another
computer. He only uses it when he works from home so it just sits here most
of the time.
I'm open to suggestions.
You could always start a computer fund jar. Donations gladly accepted to
purchase a second family computer. I've noticed as my kids get older their
computer time has also gotten longer. It's how they keep in contact with
their friends, play games, keep up with the latest music, write in their
blogs or fanfiction websites, etc. I also found that the older they get the
less games they play and the more interaction they want with people on the
other end. My kids wanted a Play Station. Actually Emily wanted a Play
Station, but we never seemed to have that much chunk of spare change left
each month, so she started saving to buy one. It was something that was
important to her and she worked to get it by doing odd jobs, saving any
"allowance" (although it is far from the traditionall "allowance") and
jumping on every penny, quarter and nickel she found on the street. Now she
is wanting a video camera.
PS - we have the same problem with the television as well. You know "I
time because we thought it would be so much more expensive. We found out it
was only an extra $6 a month. $6 I will gladly pay to appease the need to
see a certain show! If you still have a VCR (so few do now) you could
always teach your kids how to record the shows they want to see.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Catch our new wave of color!
Book a March show!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]
>How about, "Why don't you watch your brother/sister play on the computer
> Alas....here is my question for a specific example: We have one computer
> that 5 of us share. (dh has his own, me and the kids share mine). I've
> been letting them all use the computer as much as they'd like, but they will
> have to take turns. It's not working out too well. There's too much "he
> was on longer" and "I didn't get a chance today". So I'm thinking I'm going
> to have to get a timer??? I don't see any other solution to this. And my 3
> yo doesn't understand that he has to wait his turn, and gets frustrated
> whenever I say "yes, you can play on the computer after fill-in-the-blank
> has their turn. I know he doesn't understand the concept of "later" yet,
> and it sounds like "no" to him. Is there something else I can say instead?
until they are finished. Then you can have a turn." You can also make
"bargains" with your older kids that they can stay up after the little ones
go to bed to get more time in. We did that for a long time when we had one
computer. Also is there anyway that your dh could allow your oldest child
to have access to his computer? They could have an agreement like no
downloads and only certain websites on his computer? We are fortunate to
currently have 3 working computers. Another option is to find an
alternative activity for whomever it is that is feeling momentarily
computerless. For instance a movie they have wanted to see, helping you
with something, a video game or some other something that is a "hot
commodity" but only available one at a time. It doesn't always pacify the
need, but can sometimes help ease things over.
Also, how much time would your 3yo spend in the computer once on it? You
might ask whoever is currently on the computer if the 3yo could be on it.
Talk to them about this ahead of time. I remember when my son was that age
he would beg to be on the computer (this is when we also had just one). But
he would be on it for no more than an hour if that (usually 15 minutes). It
was that "right to be on it" thing more than really wanting to be on it. We
learned very quickly that if we just let him on it he would be done
relatively soon and then someone else could use the computer.
And no, they cannot use dh's computer.
Ooops didn't see this. Does he have a reason why they can't? My co-parent
has a computer that is his "work computer." It has stuff on it that would
be detrimental to his company if it got messed up. He has that part of the
computer password protected. And there are certain restrictions on his
computer such as no downloading of programs, only going to certain websites
that we know are safe from viruses and spyware, saving any word documents to
a disk or e-mailing them to ourselves so we can open them on another
computer. He only uses it when he works from home so it just sits here most
of the time.
I'm open to suggestions.
You could always start a computer fund jar. Donations gladly accepted to
purchase a second family computer. I've noticed as my kids get older their
computer time has also gotten longer. It's how they keep in contact with
their friends, play games, keep up with the latest music, write in their
blogs or fanfiction websites, etc. I also found that the older they get the
less games they play and the more interaction they want with people on the
other end. My kids wanted a Play Station. Actually Emily wanted a Play
Station, but we never seemed to have that much chunk of spare change left
each month, so she started saving to buy one. It was something that was
important to her and she worked to get it by doing odd jobs, saving any
"allowance" (although it is far from the traditionall "allowance") and
jumping on every penny, quarter and nickel she found on the street. Now she
is wanting a video camera.
PS - we have the same problem with the television as well. You know "I
> don't want to watch that!" etc , etc.Three letters - DVR (or one word Tivo!) We didn't get a DVR for the longest
time because we thought it would be so much more expensive. We found out it
was only an extra $6 a month. $6 I will gladly pay to appease the need to
see a certain show! If you still have a VCR (so few do now) you could
always teach your kids how to record the shows they want to see.
--
Michelle
Independent Kitchen Consultant #413652
The Pampered Chef
850-474-0817
http://www.pamperedchef.biz/michellelr
Catch our new wave of color!
Book a March show!
[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]