sandralzires

Good evening,
I have learned that when we & our kidos find people irritating, it
is often more productive to discuss why their ignorance bothers us
so and how we can respond without feeling defensive. I have
discovered that taking the focus off other people and placing it
squarely on us serves as a lesson.

We experience ignorance on a regular basis. I tell my children that
these experiences are like little tests of our patience and
compassion. If my children are annoyed or angered by someone's
comment I have learned to ask them why they would want to give other
people the power to effect their emotions. I explain that we are
the captains of our own ships. I remind them not to turn the
control of their ship over to some one else.

Would it work to say "We home school." You could reply with a
confident & joyful expression. People that don't home school
normally just don't get it. Have compassion for them and rejoice in
the fact that YOU do get it!! You're children have a beautiful life
and are free.

I truly believe that experiences with rude cashiers and the like are
wonderful teaching moments. Your children have the oppertunity to
see you combat ignorance in a peaceful way. That's a gift they can
cultivate (patience) and take with them to adulthood. No one can
devalue us or disturb our "mojo" so to speak, unless we let them. I
hope this helps.
Peace & Blessings,
Sandra

reina scheiber-loeis

>>> I truly believe that experiences with rude cashiers and the like are
wonderful teaching moments. Your children have the oppertunity to
see you combat ignorance in a peaceful way. That's a gift they can
cultivate (patience) and take with them to adulthood. No one can
devalue us or disturb our "mojo" so to speak, unless we let them.

Thank you so much for this email!!!!
I'm going to save this for future reference and remember it for when we
visit friends and family. Since my ds is still so small (18mo) I don't have
a problem with unchooling yet, but I do get questioned on extended
breastfeeding, attachement parenting and practicing unconditional parenting.
Thanks again for sharing this life lesson!

Reina.

Ren Allen

" I truly believe that experiences with rude cashiers and the like are
wonderful teaching moments."

How about "wonderful learning moments"?

Ren
learninginfreedom.com

[email protected]

In a message dated 3/4/2006 9:18:03 PM Eastern Standard Time,
sandralzires@... writes:


> If my children are annoyed or angered by someone's
> comment I have learned to ask them why they would want to give other
> people the power to effect their emotions. I explain that we are
> the captains of our own ships. I remind them not to turn the
> control of their ship over to some one else.
>
I truly believe that experiences with rude cashiers and the like are
wonderful teaching moments. Your children have the oppertunity to
see you combat ignorance in a peaceful way. That's a gift they can
cultivate (patience) and take with them to adulthood. No one can
devalue us or disturb our "mojo" so to speak, unless we let them.


*****I just wrote before that I would be tempted to tell that cashier about
how we are learning about manners or lack of but I know I wouldn't have had
the nerve! I feel you are right on track with what you just wrote above! I LOVE
it!

My oldest daughter was just in a similar situation a couple days ago with
some kid she used to go to school with. The girl had gotten her screen name from
an old friend and while IM'ing and chatting back and forth, the kid started
saying some pretty rude things about homeschoolers (telling her the nasty
"labels" that everyone at school had for homeschoolers etc.) I told my dd that by
getting angry from the girls words she was only giving the girl control over
her. I suggested that if she wanted to respond to the girl, that she try to use
her words in kindness as best she could to explain where she is coming from as
a hs'er. To try and "educate" the girl about hs'ers in a positive way instead
of reacting in anger. She ended up writing back to the kid that she was sorry
she felt that way about hs'ers. That she understood and remembers how it was
being in a place that tends to put labels on everyone, but, that among her &
her hs friends they don't really have the need for those labels at all and she's
sorry that the kid felt that labels were so important to her. My dd turned to
tell me what she wrote back and then said "Ya know, I feel so sorry for kids
like her. They seem so angry and sad. I wouldn't want to be inside of her."
Wow, that was my kid saying that, the one who was so frustrated, stressed, etc.,
a year ago when she was in school. I cannot believe what unschooling has done
for us in our lives.

I appreciate what you wrote and I am forwarding it on to my kids.
Thanks,
Nancy


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