Still having problems with helping son find passion....
Donald and Sandra Winn
Despite my extensive list yesterday of things we can
do here to make my DH happy, I truly believe with
Brooke, I could conjure up a list based on what she
does all day long. She is always writing, always
playing Zoo Tycoon, always spelling, saying math
problems allowed, etc. I'll try it because you all
just, ugh, cannot find the words. When I wrote down
my list, I felt so guilty for "making" them do school
even though it is short and fun.
DS 11, OTH, I'm sorry to say that I could not honestly
conjure up anything even remotely looking schoolish by
what he does on his own, other than Garfield typing
and Garfield quiz game, Harry Potter for reading.
I've never been a creative. Most sites I go to for
creativity are geared for younger children and also
more for girls. I've got a woodshop book that I'm
happy to do with him, but when I ask if he'd like to
make something it's met with a casual, "No, thats
okay". I do not make him feel bad at all.
He loves video games, and that is fine by me. I asked
him if he'd like to maybe be a video game creator, we
can get the software, etc. "No, that's okay." I
don't know, feeling at my wits end. Maybe its just
taking longer for Zak to click with something and I
should probably stop worrying. I want to help him,
help him find his passion, but he has no desire for
anything. A few months back when I tried totally
unschooling, it was me coming up with everything to
do, me always presenting ideas but never on his part.
If I didn't come up with something, he'd just sit and
lie around..unless he played something.
I love him for who he is today, but I can't lie and
say that I'm not a little concerned about his future.
:-)
~Sandy
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do here to make my DH happy, I truly believe with
Brooke, I could conjure up a list based on what she
does all day long. She is always writing, always
playing Zoo Tycoon, always spelling, saying math
problems allowed, etc. I'll try it because you all
just, ugh, cannot find the words. When I wrote down
my list, I felt so guilty for "making" them do school
even though it is short and fun.
DS 11, OTH, I'm sorry to say that I could not honestly
conjure up anything even remotely looking schoolish by
what he does on his own, other than Garfield typing
and Garfield quiz game, Harry Potter for reading.
I've never been a creative. Most sites I go to for
creativity are geared for younger children and also
more for girls. I've got a woodshop book that I'm
happy to do with him, but when I ask if he'd like to
make something it's met with a casual, "No, thats
okay". I do not make him feel bad at all.
He loves video games, and that is fine by me. I asked
him if he'd like to maybe be a video game creator, we
can get the software, etc. "No, that's okay." I
don't know, feeling at my wits end. Maybe its just
taking longer for Zak to click with something and I
should probably stop worrying. I want to help him,
help him find his passion, but he has no desire for
anything. A few months back when I tried totally
unschooling, it was me coming up with everything to
do, me always presenting ideas but never on his part.
If I didn't come up with something, he'd just sit and
lie around..unless he played something.
I love him for who he is today, but I can't lie and
say that I'm not a little concerned about his future.
:-)
~Sandy
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Tired of spam? Yahoo! Mail has the best spam protection around
http://mail.yahoo.com
ameliegoldstein
I don't have much time, but I've got two suggestions. First, have
you ever done a project in wood-working out of that book yourself?
Maybe you should. Or if it doesn't interest you, get involved in
your own passions and just start doing something fun without asking
Zak if *he* wants to first and waiting for a "No, that's okay".
Every now and then, he may decide to join in. If you worry he
doesn't "do enough", then the problem is probably in your
perspective, and an indication that you need to make sure *you*
are "doing enough" and are living a busy, active life.
***He loves video games***
***I want to help him...find his passion, but he has no desire for
anything.***
Your son loves video games. No matter what the reason, your child's
heart is drawn to them and they bring him joy. Stop looking for
where he's lacking and what he's NOT doing and really *see* what he
loves to do, today. He isn't a lost, wandering soul waiting to "find
his passion"...he is already passionate about something! Nurture
that! Join in with him! Of course, continue to expand his world and
strew all different kinds of things, but also validate and encourage
the very real passion that is already in his heart.
Amelie
you ever done a project in wood-working out of that book yourself?
Maybe you should. Or if it doesn't interest you, get involved in
your own passions and just start doing something fun without asking
Zak if *he* wants to first and waiting for a "No, that's okay".
Every now and then, he may decide to join in. If you worry he
doesn't "do enough", then the problem is probably in your
perspective, and an indication that you need to make sure *you*
are "doing enough" and are living a busy, active life.
***He loves video games***
***I want to help him...find his passion, but he has no desire for
anything.***
Your son loves video games. No matter what the reason, your child's
heart is drawn to them and they bring him joy. Stop looking for
where he's lacking and what he's NOT doing and really *see* what he
loves to do, today. He isn't a lost, wandering soul waiting to "find
his passion"...he is already passionate about something! Nurture
that! Join in with him! Of course, continue to expand his world and
strew all different kinds of things, but also validate and encourage
the very real passion that is already in his heart.
Amelie
Andrea
Sandy
<<<<<<<<<<Get into his world, see what he loves
about them. Ask him a few questions and try to play with him if
possible. His future belongs to him.>>>>>>>>>>>
Sandy, I feel slightly out of my element here because my only experience
unschooling is with one 5 1/2 year old, but I found Ren's advice to resonate
through and through. I have gone "into his world" to "see what he loves..."
many times, especially when I've gone into fear. I am especially judgmental
of things that don't look school-ish. When I have gotten down with him,
played and talked with awareness, I have learned quite a bit about why he
spends time doing things that seem unimportant to me. While you are there,
you can both learn a lot by talking to each other (see Jan Fortune-Woods
latest article in Life Learning Magazine "Life, the Universe and
Everything"). You can help him see connections, metaphors, you can ask
questions, and answer questions...let the talk take you from A to 10 where
connections never seemed to be possible. Get to know each other better,
find out what you like to do together...then do it more. Your fear of his
future may be keeping you from being capable of being present with him.
"Trust"...might be a good mantra...
Oh, and another thing...what are YOU passionate about that he sees? Even
the littlest passion in us is inspiring to them...but don't let this be an
agenda to "get" him to do anything. Just trust that if he is living around
passionate people, he will recognize it in himself when it comes and know
what to do with it...
Andrea
<<<<<<<<<<Get into his world, see what he loves
about them. Ask him a few questions and try to play with him if
possible. His future belongs to him.>>>>>>>>>>>
Sandy, I feel slightly out of my element here because my only experience
unschooling is with one 5 1/2 year old, but I found Ren's advice to resonate
through and through. I have gone "into his world" to "see what he loves..."
many times, especially when I've gone into fear. I am especially judgmental
of things that don't look school-ish. When I have gotten down with him,
played and talked with awareness, I have learned quite a bit about why he
spends time doing things that seem unimportant to me. While you are there,
you can both learn a lot by talking to each other (see Jan Fortune-Woods
latest article in Life Learning Magazine "Life, the Universe and
Everything"). You can help him see connections, metaphors, you can ask
questions, and answer questions...let the talk take you from A to 10 where
connections never seemed to be possible. Get to know each other better,
find out what you like to do together...then do it more. Your fear of his
future may be keeping you from being capable of being present with him.
"Trust"...might be a good mantra...
Oh, and another thing...what are YOU passionate about that he sees? Even
the littlest passion in us is inspiring to them...but don't let this be an
agenda to "get" him to do anything. Just trust that if he is living around
passionate people, he will recognize it in himself when it comes and know
what to do with it...
Andrea