Comments on
"Public School on Your Own Terms"



I love Sandra's article about public schooling.

My ds homeschool's, but my dd (7) goes to school. I've read Sandra's article several times, and the information therein has served as the model for our family's approach to my daughter's schooling.

She goes to a private school, so we don't have the attendance = money issue that public schools have to contend with. However, if it was public school which she wanted to go to - we would do it the same way.

This week is a good example of how she schools: Wednesday she had a slight tummy-ache/diarrhea - so she stayed home and played with us all day. Thursday there was a fun field trip scheduled, and she felt better, and wanted to go, but hadn't yet memorized a poem that she was supposed to recite at school that day.

We talked about her options:

1) Go to school and enjoy the field trip, but don't have the poem ready. (They do not get graded at this school - and so far she has never been penalized for late homework.).

2) Stay home from school - and play with us!

3) Memorize the poem before school - go to school, and enjoy the field trip.

I indicated no judgment or preference for any of these choices. She chose #3 - memorized the poem in about 5 minutes, and apparently nailed it at school.

Friday (today): My daughter doesn't like Halloween. The scary costumes make her very uncomfortable. So, she told her teacher yesterday that she would not be coming to school on Halloween. And we get to play with her all day!

Her teachers know that she is there by choice. She knows she is there by choice. She occassionally (2 to 3 days a month) chooses to stay home just because she wants to. I do help her with homework, if she wants me to. I also let her know when things are due, and how much time I think assignments will take to complete, because she doesn't really have a sense of how to organize projects around due dates at this point. I never, though, pressure her to complete assignments, and have made it very clear to her that I don't agree with certain assignments/tactics, etc. But, I've also made it more clear to her (I wasn't doing this before), that I honor her decision to go to school, and will help her with it in any way she wants me to.

The freedom I feel, and the enjoyment she feels with this set up is wonderful. I think I would still prefer if she stayed home (and I know my dh would be thrilled not to be paying $7000 a year, LOL!), but I do feel we are genuinely honoring each child's unique choices, and our family is happier, and closer than we have been (well, since before we put them in school in the first place - sigh, live and learn).

And yeah, what Nancy said about trusting educators regarding homeschooling. They honestly have no idea what it's like, and the vast majority of them have formulated opinions based on false ideas about it. (I know - I used to be one of them! LOL!).

Love,
Laura
October 2003

Laura, thanks.
I'd like to use what you wrote up above on the comments page for that article if that's okay with you. It's very encouraging! —Sandra

Sure! I'd be happy to have my comments on your article page. —Laura

My 10yo daughter is insistent on going to 6th grade middle school next year. I don't think she will change her mind. As much as I don't like the idea, I almost trust her to know where and how she wants to learn. I think I have prepared myself for it. I really like "Public School on Your Own Terms" http://sandradodd.com/schoolchoice

I printed it out last August, and it was really hard to swallow at first. Now I find it as nothing short of brilliant. I guess that shows how far I'm coming with unschooling. I am prepared not to engage with the school against my daughter, if she conducts herself the way she did in K-4th. I am prepared not to put any stock in grades and such.


Ang
March 2003

We have been homeschooling since 1987 when our first child turned five. Two more kids later, they were all homeschooled until 1999, when our second child decided to go to high school. It made me cry at the time. And now our third child has decided to try high school as well. Your essay answering the question, Is homeschooling an all or nothing situation? mirrored my own philosophy exactly. Going to school is their choice and therefore I'm not responsible for or caught up in how they choose to participate. They know that I would rather have them home. They know they always have that option. But in allowing them that choice we have shown respect for their ability to have power in their own life. Thank you for writing it in just the way you did.

Christine Lozano
January 2003


Dear Sandra Dodd:

I liked this article because it relates to my own situation. We put our oldest son in school after a difficult move and moving to a town where there is no network of homeschoolers. He decided to go to school to meet the neighborhood kids and do it on his own. He went to school for half of first grade and than completed his 2nd grade and does not want to go back. I would keep on encouraging him to explore his own interests, but I noticed when in school, he did not have the energy or the brain power to explore what he really likes. At the end of this school year, I was casual about Homeschooling and did not cram it down his throat. I just said try to envision what you would like with your schooling in the fall.

Within four weeks of deprogramming he wants to homeschool although he doesn't like the name so we thought up his own name - NATE Natural Achievement Through Education. I feel confidence which I lacked when I was Homeschooling before and it showed and he sensed it. Now he understands the difference. A couple of months ago it was a discussion in this group about a kid who decided to go to school or not. It depends on the kid and the parenting. I have a daughter who has no desire to go to school and hopefully we will be more established in a network for our whole family. But we will cross that bridge when it comes.

Peace to you.

Lisa, another Montanan

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