Duke Jean-Richard Malcolmson

Memorial Page
Countess Anne sent this to an SCA list of which I was a member in January, 2008:

Dear Cousins,

Many of you know my husband, Duke Jean-Richard Malcolmson. I was asked to share some stories about him in the hopes that this might help me in my grief. Well. here we go: Remember do not operate heavy machinery while reading, all views are that of the author and do not delineate SCA polices, while in operation the use of handrails are suggested and do not try this at home without adult supervision.

Thank you for your understanding and patience,


Countess Anne

Dancing Girls

Richard would often take the children for a “walk about” after feast to give me a chance to clean up and get clothing ready for bed. One particular event, we were enjoying camping with my parents, who are also members of the SCA. Our eldest daughter was about two years old and already very verbal. Richard scooped down and picked up our daughter ready for the “walk about” when she said, “Daddy, are we going to see the naked dancing girls, again?” while turning shades of red I didn’t even know existed he faced my mother, who had her hands on her hips, and my father, who was giving his “ stern” look and me. “I don’t think so, Honey!” he said as they turned and walked off. “I don’t think so!”

Widow Maker

After Richard had won his second crown tourney, he was approached by a female friend who said she would be honored if Richard fought for her in the next crown tourney. He said, “That would be a very interesting idea but I doubt your husband would be very happy about the plan.” She reassured Richard that her husband would have no objections. He responded, “Oh, I would image he would severely object because, you see, I only fight for widows.”

What Idiot?

When I was the Kingdom Minister of Children Officer, we were in our living room working on projects with friends. We were discussing whether or not it would be a good idea to re-establish the Children’s Tourney and what might be some of the duties the winner would be required to perform. When Richard pipes up from working on his chainmail, “What idiot would enter a tourney where the winner gets a job?” Barely able to contain my mirth, I said, “I do not know, YOUR GRACE, what idiot would enter a tourney where the winner gets a job? He said, “Touché!” and we all broke out in uncontrollable laughter.

Stupid Duke Tricks

We have all heard of stupid squire tricks, a few stupid knight tricks but stupid Duke Tricks are the best. My husband, with some other knights was helping to set up the Crown Pavilion, when one of the knights decided to show off his prowess. He took a 10lb long handled sledge hammer extended it all the way out then brought it back to barely touch his nose. Not to be out done, the other knights soon followed suit. Richard complimented all the knights present while doing the same thing with his left hand. “Wait my brothers, now, let’s do this with our off hand!” he said while demonstrating the “daring feat of prowess” with his right hand. A collective sound of “UGH!” could be heard from the other knights as they remembered tasks that needed to done any place else.

A Knight of Ansteorra, First

We attended an event that was threatened to be ruined by rain. The feast area was flooded; therefore, it was moved to an area which was up a steep hill. My husband had already made the trip up with our feast wear and had returned to escort myself and our four children back up the hill. We came across two older ladies trying to carry their chairs, feast gear and mugs up this wet and steep hill when, suddenly, one of the ladies dropped her mug. My husband dashed in and offered to carry the gear up to the feast area while the ladies rested. He returned and said he would be honored if the ladies would allow him to escort them to their chairs. The ladies were aghast because he had placed their chairs in the front row while the children and I sat in the back. I reassured them that this is where we liked to sit and indicated that court was about to begin. Richard, the King, processed in and conducted court. After court, the ladies rushed back to where I was sitting and said such things as, “you should have told us” and, “he shouldn’t have carried our stuff”. It was at this point my husband arrived and said, “Stop, right there.” Silence followed. He continued, “I am a Knight of Ansteorra, FIRST, then, I am its King. I would not be fit to wear this chain and belt if I had allowed you two lovely ladies to carry your feast wear and chairs up that hill. It is you, who did me honor by allowing me to assist you.” Blushes and giggles followed his remarks. “Now, if I have your permission, I need to speak with my wife and ascertain the mood of the children.” The two ladies then, tittered off. I can only imagine the look of doubt and disbelief when those two ladies returned to their kingdom and told their friends, “Yep, the King of Ansteorra carried OUR stuff up the hill.”

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