An odd complaint

This complaint has come up a dozen times in about that many years—objection to unschoolers treating a new unschooler like an adult rather than as a child.

When a parent is very needy, they might need extra help to get to the stable spot where they can parent their children thoughtfully. I don't know a better way than for them to move quickly toward unschooling.

http://sandradodd.com/doit


I didn't save them all, but here are a few examples:

For some of us we just learned about unschooling.. and it works the same as children.Treat us shitty and get a shitty response but treat us with respect and get it in return. :) I quit school and unschooled myself so i know there is no end..I was just a bit annoyed at Sandra and I still am...She has tons of info on how to treat children but doesnt follow her own advice towards aduts :)
I now question and doubt [Sandra Dodd's] representation of [unschooling] in the face of her inability to afford other adults the same courtesy, respect, and space that she claims we should all give to children. [More of that one is in the red-print box, lower right, of SandraDodd.com/feedback]
Sometimes I feel that the respect you claim is needed for all children is hypocritical because you can really come off as disrespectful to the grown ups here.
I KNOW you don't treat your children like that so why me?

thanks to Tamara/thepackwoods for finding this one, and my response:

#1, you're not the child of anyone here.
#2, you're not a child.
#3, you came to a discussion group as an adult.
#4, you have children at your house. We would like to help you treat your children the way we treat ours.

This complaint is made a time or two a year. If a mother wants to be treated as a child, that's beyond the scope of this list. We KNOW that many adults had insufficient nurturing and would like to be babied and soothed and rocked and sung to. We can't rock and sing here anyway, but mothers can heal their own sad childhoods by babying, soothing, rocking and singing to their own children.

http://sandradodd.com/issues
http://sandradodd.com/being/healing
http://sandradodd.com/rentalk

The thread Tamara found is here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AlwaysLearning/message/60990


Contrast this with the traditional put-down "You're not my mother."


When parents have issues Deschooling Being