What would you have done differently?
My kids are 12 and 16. I would have let go of more control over TV, video games, and food much earlier, or not ever started to control those things. I regret and am embarrassed that I ever did it, and the controlling has bad results. Most of them, but not all, are healed at this point—after five or more years since I got it. I would have responded more kindly and with less blame to my kids when they were fighting. Getting angry at them repeatedly did not help them be less angry with each other. Their relationship has not benefited from any anger or consequences I inflicted on them before I figured it out. At this point they do not fight, and rarely even argue, but are not really good friends, either. Which they might not ever have been, as they don't have all that many things in common, but I will always wonder if they could have been. Heather (in NY) Robin wrote: I would avoid schlepping Michelle to all homeschool field trips longer than a half hour and I would look carefully at expectations of the kids. Even though she would enjoy the topic/place, too many people, too much noise, and too many rules made her completely miserable. She'd be melting down and I'd be beside myself. She was perfectly happy at home. *I* was looking for more social time. |