AElflaed note: This was lifted from Cathyn's website so I could edit and preserve it. It might still be out there elsewhere as well.
The braggart may or may not know their own limitations, but will make bold claims as to their abilities. The modest person may say things about their capabilities which often sound boastful, but more generally are spoken of quietly. Listen to those around you, and the difference will make itself aparent rather quickly.
Modesty is among the hardest of the virtues to discuss, for one can hardly claim to be modest without sounding like a braggart. Having been that braggart for years, I find the feelings associated with attempting to describe modesty most disturbing and unvirtuous. Try it yourself. Look at yourself in mirror and say "But, I *am* modest." This just doesn't feel right, does it? I have found a tool to use, which allows both discussion of modesty, and educates all in modesty. When discussing modesty, discuss the virtue in others around you. In this way do you modestly turn the focus away from yourself, praise the worthy deeds you have noticed others enacting, and teach yourself how to look for the modesty of others. Try this for yourself, too. Look again at yourself in the mirror and say "I noticed Lady Olivia the other day, and she was wearing the most lovely cotehardie. When I complimented her on its quality, she turned my praise to her teacher, Mistress Celestina, from whom she learned to pattern and fit such a gown." Didn't that feel much better?
The immodest will bring themselves to your attention unasked. One must seek out the deeds of the modest, and that is as it should be.