ShannonBurton: sandra....I'll pay the postage for the really cool ones!
SandraDodd: See, Shan it's deciding which you would think were cool. Nearly impossible to guess.
hahamommy: and what do I do? show up at her door with a book for her collection. Cause I knew she'd keep it.
socal77: I read them or loan them, or gift them, or have them around for later, it depends on the books...I kept all of my
college texts from my major
PatchworkGirl: you could do artsy things with old books if you want to
HollyDodd: Oops, mom.
SandraDodd: I've seen some book arts.
PatchworkGirl: or maybe use the covers for other stuff
SandraDodd: What, holly?
What have I screwed up now?
hahamommy: I just got a book, specifically for Artsing up
it's a leather embossed cover that says "I DARE YOU"
SandraDodd: I can't desecreate books very easily.
HollyDodd: Oh nevermind. My mind and my computer both glitched at the same time.
SandraDodd: Oh. I feel better.
In an odd way.
ShannonBurton: Another thing that has helped me is to be on the lookout for things that will fascinate my kids....let me
explain a bit...
Schuyler: my firefox is fading out so I'm reconnecting through internet explorer
SandraDodd: Jill, I think some unschooling moms like to freak the schoolies (working back through a "freak the
mundanes" and "freak the straights" history of the verb "to freak"
PatchworkGirl: LOL Diana!
socal77: Oh speaking of artsy books, I bought a cool readers digest craft book from the seventies at the swap meet for $1
SandraDodd: Some unschoolers like to be different in a public "happenin'" kind of way
ShannonBurton: I used to try to interest them in things i thought they should be intersted in. Shifting my focus to what
interests them is a new and evolving skill.
SandraDodd: Another notable change in Shan!
Tell us more.
There were lots of how to books in the 1970's.
I have some.
BeaMantovani: those are people who would find other ways to stick out if they weren't unschooling though, I would think
Jennie: i think mom and tot classes are designed to be like pre-preschool in terms of structure. I don't feel the
need for the structure, just want her to have opportunities to explore art, food, gym equipment, etc.
SandraDodd: Probably so, Bea. But I was reminded by Diana's suggestion to be willing to offend strangers on behalf of
ShannonBurton: In the last few days, i have googled the largest planet (jupiter; we weren't sure), camouflage because
Annalise wanted to see the pattern (found a cool one of pink leopards and women so cool it's my new desktop), and
watched the same thing on NatGeo twice
SandraDodd: I've had people be kinda that way in my house, letting their kids do things I didn't think were cool, kind of to
test my limits as an unschooler. It's not nice. It's not courteous. It's not unschoolig; it's posturing bully-stuff.
ShannonBurton: So I could show Annalise the porcupine intestines they showed for only a few seconds....
SandraDodd: It's not helping kids learn how to be in the world.
BeaMantovani: explore those differently Jennie, not in a class
Jennie: i have to go...little one's up
SandraDodd: Maybe, Jennie! Like pre-pre schoo..
ShannonBurton: Bye, Jennie.
SandraDodd: Thanks for being here. Have fun with them!
socal77: Bye Jennie
BeaMantovani: speaking of pre-school, I know a lot of people who homeschool pre-school.
ShannonBurton: Porcupine intestines are not that interesting to me. To Annalise, intestines of any kind are a lifetime
Schuyler: I can remember, very clearly, being embarrassed about something that Simon or Linnaea did in
public. Going out with their hair unkempt, having them cry in a public place or scream.
SandraDodd: I've been listening to Stephen Fry read The Order of the Phoenix
Schuyler: It took a lot to start looking to them instead of looking at them
Looking after them, maybe.
SandraDodd: And being reminded of how really cruel some women can be while they smile and act sweet.
ShannonBurton: Schuyler...i have justr recently started to get comfortable with having the scruffiest kids around.....
JillP: How How did you get a Stephen Fry version?? I've been looking!
Schuyler: I watched a woman at the grocery store sit and calmly try and help her frustrated and hungry
I complimented her on her patience and her care
ShannonBurton: But they almost always have the biggest grins and sparklingest eyes fo all, too.
Schuyler: and she said that it was her fault for bringing a hungry child to the store
I was so impressed
ShannonBurton: Schuyler....That is great.
SandraDodd: That Dolores Umbridge was... y'know. Horrible.
socal77: Oh I found it: it's called Readers Digest Crafts and Hobbies: A step by step guide to creative skills; it has cool
sections on pottery, and painting, and basketry, and lots of other cool stuff
JillP: Wow, that's cool Schuyler.
Schuyler: It took me a long time to get that they get to make the choice about their hair and their clothes
SandraDodd: Got it from Schuyler in England. And I'm kicking myself for not thinking of buying others at the airport
on the way out.
Schuyler: I give them information
SandraDodd: I got two of them.
THANKS AGAIN, Schuyler
Schuyler: I help them know what is appropriate and where and with who
But they get to make the choice
JillP: ah right, you went to the source. I'll keep looking or go to England.
SandraDodd: Cool, Schuyler, that you talked to that mom at the store and she didn't say "MIND YOUR OWN
Schuyler: And I've learned that food is really important to have to hand or quickly accessible
At Waitrose (love Waitrose) the staff came and checked her out so that she could go sit with her daughter
JillP: Food is so key.
Schuyler: Nobody censured her
ShannonBurton: what is helping me is remembering my owen childhood, and how few choices i had, and how it's led to
feelings of being trapped so often. I had extremely long hair....it was never cut until i was almost 14.
Schuyler: Nobody looked aghast or said that she should shut her child up
Marcy (Guest74): so willing to be embarassed is good for unschooling?
SandraDodd: Maybe learning how not to be embarrassed!
ShannonBurton: My hair was long not because i chose that, but because my father loves long long hair on women.....but
my hair is thick, and dry, and curly and very prone to be wild.
hahamommy: Our library had the Stephen Frye versions for download, Jill --I got 'em all .:-D
Schuyler: Brad Holcomb said once that people don't really think about you that much
Alan: Are there cultural differences re: thinking people should shut hungry kids up?
Schuyler: I thought that was a wonderful understanding
hahamommy: ooh the evil face, sorry! I forgot again!
SandraDodd: My dad didn't want us to cut our hair either, for some vague biblical reasons, even though he didn't go to
ShannonBurton: So I soent eternities standing by my mother's dresser while she yanked and tugged and combed it into
SandraDodd: We had vestigial religious restrictions.
JillP: ooh, Diana, wonder if I could get remote library access to your library.
SandraDodd: Yeah, Shan....
hahamommy: yes, willing to put your kids ahead of your reputation for being betty crocker ..;-)
Schuyler: Thinking that a crying child is something you shouldn't have in public, maybe
SandraDodd: Braids, me, mom, before school.
ShannonBurton: And she pulled it back TIGHT and it always hurt my scalp. Then little wisps would wiggle through,
and I'd have this laughable mane around my head.
SandraDodd: Well I don't think a crying child is something people "should have in public," but neither will yelling at
them or jerking them around or threatening them keep them from crying.
hahamommy: I've got long hair now, longest in my life... mom always hacked my hair off and called it a "shag" usually
after a bad Toni perm experiment I didn't want D':
ShannonBurton: Sandra - and before detangler.
JillP: I like the idea of how not to be embarrassed in situations. To be calm and hang in there with your kids when they
SandraDodd: Yikes, Diana. That's way worse.
I think principles help in all those situations.
WHY are you home with your kids?
hahamommy: so does breathing .:-D
SandraDodd: What choices have you made, exactly?
And "to unschool" isn't it.
ShannonBurton: So when Lise says she wants hers "wild and free", It's a gift I'm giving that she may never know the
worth of...and that is so cool!
SandraDodd: Something lke "To be with my kids anytime they need me"
Schuyler: I suppose it is about deciding what is embarassing. Yelling at Simon or Linnaea is way more
embarrassing then sitting with them and helping them deal with whatever it is they need to move through
SandraDodd: "To help my kids get along in the world"
hahamommy: I chose to give up my right to be the bully I'd been waiting to be since being bullied through childhood
PatchworkGirl: I'm home because I didn't feel like school was meeting their needs for sleeping,e ating, etc
SandraDodd: "To find learning everywhere."
ShannonBurton: "To have the joy of watching their becominng."
hahamommy: to know that *Hayden* isn't mini-*anyone* but HAYDEN!
SandraDodd: Unschooling is helped by parents willing to break the cycles of punishment
PatchworkGirl: and I didn't like them being gone for so long
Marcy (Guest74): to be willing to set aside what i know is right
what i thought was right
emiLyQ: I'm home with my kids (and my husband is too, amazingly) so we can just be here to see as much of it and be as
much of it as we possibly can.
SandraDodd: Marty is a mini-Keith no matter what I try to think or how I squint at him.
PatchworkGirl: if i'm up in the morning, I'm always glad that my kids aren't getting on the school bus at 6:45 am
JillP: I don't think you need to keep crying kids in public, but if they get cranky or crying for what ever, you can help
them get home or to a calmer place, or abandon the plans and do something else.
ShannonBurton: "to let their minds and selves grow unfettered by others' concepts of how they should develop."
hahamommy: a willingness to make kids more important than politics (ie - I've been in Wal-Mart *for Hayden* and still
work to make this a Wal-Mart free world)
ShannonBurton: Annalise is a mimi-me. i delight in those parts of her i know so well....and also those parts that are
nothing likr me!
SandraDodd: Diana, I think unschoolers should let childless people "work" for things like "Wal-Mart free world."
Schuyler: It's called Asda here, so a Wal-Mart free world is just a name change away....
hahamommy: see, so she's really Annalise, with some mama here and there ..;-)
ShannonBurton: i just promised my kids Crocs just now, even though i don't like them.
SandraDodd: Vague dramatic political causes get between parents and children. They steal time and energy children
need. Let other people do it.
hahamommy: oh, there's that, too... postponing those soapbox issues for when the kids aren't acutely needy of you
Schuyler: Crocs are one of the first shoes that Simon has really enjoyed wearing
JillP: I wanted my kids to have crocs because they are so easy on and easy off, but they don't like them.
Schuyler: We bought them first in Australia so they remind me of climbing under waterfalls and things
Oh and giant black skinks
ShannonBurton: Diana...yes...we're wearing the same face, and many personality traits, but she is for sure herself, and not
Schuyler: and great paper airplanes
I like crocs, even though they aren't comfortable on me
socal77: there is a balance, I have no problem carrying around pre-packaged convenience foods in a cloth grocery bag
SandraDodd: For people who have joined the chat later, I'll make a list from this of the "what helps unschooling" points.
There's a lit already of how to screw it up.
ShannonBurton: I have a mental block against plastic shoes from the "jellies" days...but they donn't, and so they will have
hahamommy: Politics and religion, they'll both be there when you get back around to supporting them ..;-)
hahamommy: No need to rob your kids of YOU to focus over there
SandraDodd: Holly's gone from the chat.
ShannonBurton: Someone on Facebook told me yesterday that if I "let" my 8yo watch South Park, I should ask him
questions during so he doesn'rt end up Republican.
SandraDodd: Shan I'm looking and blinking and wondering whether you meant something different.
BeaMantovani: is south park republican?
ShannonBurton: And "informed" me that it's not for kids his age, and there are objectionable and disturbing things on it.
hahamommy: oh shan! tha's a joke here, we've left Republicanism as the last rebellion, I hope H gets in while they're still
ShannonBurton: Nope,,,that's what this childless person who doesn't know me or my 8yo said.
PatchworkGirl: my kids watch south park... i'm looking forward to when Netflix instant adds closed captioning in 2010
so I can understand what they're laughing about if it's not visual
BeaMantovani: you can tell your kids I spent new years eve of 98 with the writers of South Park in Beijing,
China,because it's true
SandraDodd: What the Terrance and Phillip was that person on Facebook talking about!?!!
PatchworkGirl: Bea, cool!
ShannonBurton: i said he knows well what is disturbing (keenly aware of what minor chords mean on TV) and i wouldn't
want people interrupting my show to spoonn-feed what i should think to me, and that i trust and respect my 8yo.
hahamommy: If your kid watches South Park, he may grow up to be 11 and spraypainting art in the back yard with
BeaMantovani: I didn't even know South Park at the time because I had been in China the previous year
ShannonBurton: Gee.....a fate truly and clearly leading to delinquency.....!
PatchworkGirl: i love the idea of spraypainting art in the back yard teens or not! .:-D
SandraDodd: Were they in Beijing finding little Chinese slave kids to animate their cartoons?
ShannonBurton: Bea...too cool!
hahamommy: me too!! What a blast! We can't wait till someone shoots and we get to say "You killed Kenny, You
Schuyler: If your husband watches South Park he may laugh so much that he can't see through the tears
BeaMantovani: no, they were visiting their old Japanese college roommate
Schuyler: (mine does)
BeaMantovani: who happened to be the friend of the girlfriend of a friend of mine
ShannonBurton: This person failed to understand that I don't have "an 8yo boy". i have Jeremiah, who has a love of the
absurd, cartoons, history, and general silliness....and who is 8.
SandraDodd: I'll tell Holly.
emiLyQ: I was just complaining to my husband that I with they would make a South Park without all the toilet humor so
that I could enjoy it because I just really am not amused by it. I watch the episodes I really really want to see,
but it would be neat if Trey and Matt made a funny show that didn't involve so much... poop and stuff.
JillP: don't watch the WoW episode, the poop part is ....well, gross.
Schuyler: I've had a hard time with some of the episodes, but most of them just make me laugh
ShannonBurton: I also said what he's learned from South Park, Family Guy, and his new favorite, Married...with children.
Schuyler: I love the WoW episode
hahamommy: alright Bea, you may be out-cool-ing me ..;-)
JillP: yeah, it is funny!!
Schuyler: I love the giant Guinea Pig episode
hahamommy: I had to throw in my "I met matt groening" story to cover your southpark nye story!
ShannonBurton: I have't seen a lot...it's on at 1am here, and they repeat a lot fo them...but jim and I have loved the ones
Schuyler: You can watch them on comedy central on-line I think
You can't watch them here, but I think you can see the episodes just aired on-line
ShannonBurton: I met Bruce Willis and walter Croinkite when i was a waittress at the Old FAithful Inn in Yellowstone
(and thar's all I got).
Schuyler: in the U.S.
I met Diana Jenner and Sandra Dodd
SandraDodd: I'd love to see Bruce Willis and Walter Conkrite having dinner together.
ShannonBurton: Schuyler - thanks...and I'm deeply jealous of who you've met.
Schuyler: And Matt Ridley
SandraDodd: Well thank you, Schuyler, for putting me in with somebody famous
ShannonBurton: walter Cronkite was rude. Bruce Willis was very nice (and I'm not really even a fan).
Schuyler: And David Waynforth, that was my favorite published author
BeaMantovani: I'd love to meet Diana and Sandra some day
hahamommy: ...didn't you sleep with David, schuyler?
BeaMantovani: and Schuyler too
JillP: I met Wally Schira when I was little, my dad told me he was famous, I didn't know anything about him. I offered
him my mud pie.
Schuyler: I did, I was such a groupie
SandraDodd: There must be something brave and toilet-humorish about New Mexico and Colorado.
hahamommy: bea, you'll get us all through Holly in your home ..
SandraDodd: We have all that crazy recent rude cartoon universe coming from people here
Schuyler: I love that Mike Judge's dad was an archeaologist at UNM
hahamommy: great, now "bungholio" is in my head!
ShannonBurton: i want to meet you all.....
Schuyler: We have Beavis and Butthead comics in our bathroom
SandraDodd: Hey, I had to look him up. Astronaut.
Schuyler: My brother wrote them both!
hahamommy: I have moronothons on tape!
ShannonBurton: A goal of mine.....gonna break my performance annxiety one day and sing with Sandra.
hahamommy: wait, your brother wrote *B&B*???
ShannonBurton: I have a Monkees marathon on VHS.
Schuyler: I have the Beavis and Butthead video game with the Hock-A-Loogie special game
Yep, he is one of the unofficial creators
and he created Daria with his writing partner
hahamommy: oh I miss her!
Schuyler: the spin-off
hahamommy: Hannah had a Daria book when she was little
ShannonBurton: I'm not up on beavis and Butthead.
JillP: gonna go jump with Luke, brb. So glad there's notes coming for this chat.
Schuyler: It's a bit dated now
hahamommy: we're old ..;-)
Schuyler: You can get it on DVD thought
along with the Monkees
ShannonBurton: I'm ripening!
Schuyler: I'm past the first blush a bit
But not much
ShannonBurton: i want the Monkees movie Head...but everyone thinks it's porn!
hahamommy: I've got a monkey who's tummy plays the theme song ..;-)
Schuyler: That must be uncomfortable for the monkey
ShannonBurton: That's cool...i had some old 45's for a ehile.
SandraDodd: It cannot be that watching Beavis and Butthead is helpful to unschooling. There are young children here
ShannonBurton: And i saw them in the 80's...second row...no Mike, though.
SandraDodd: Cornholio and his bunghole.... Halloween special. That was a hoot.
Schuyler: Learning about Gwar and the excitement of fire
SandraDodd: But back to what's actually helpful...
socal77: sorry, Drew and I got sidetracked watching a clip of the south park world of warcraft episode
Schuyler: very helpful things
SandraDodd: Two things at once is helpful.
hahamommy: ah, but finding the value in Beavis and Butthead helped me get understand my hubbie, and later, I used the
same skills for Hayden's different-than-me television viewing
SandraDodd: Yeah, I know. But it sholdn't need to be on the checklist for Bea and her two little girls.
Be willing to see what your children are interested in.
SandraDodd: yeah, multitasking...that's what I was doing ..
SandraDodd: Be openminded.
Schuyler: Looking to your child for what is valuable to them
vesperti: Hi everyone! Kerrie from Australia here, this is my first chat. Glad to be here. Can I ask how much
longer his session will go for? It's 8.30 am here in Aus, Tuesday.
SandraDodd: 25 minutes
ShannonBurton: Being willing to answer questions honeslty helps...we just came clean with annalise about santa...brb.
Schuyler: Like loving South Park through David's laughter
SandraDodd: Longer if some people want to stay longer. And anytime any of you want to make a side deal to meet in
here, the room sits between times and you're welcome to use it.
When I was in England I'd use it to talk to Keith and Holly.
Schuyler: I was far more willing to watch it with him watching it than I was to sit and watch an episode on my
hahamommy: I like Mythbusters *so* much more when Hayden is there ..
vesperti: Oh great! Thanks.
SandraDodd: I watched Desperate Housewives without Holly last night and it wasn't very good.
ShannonBurton: Looking at all our resources as shared has helped us a lot.
hahamommy: It was good to watch it here with her, remembering that I started watching it because I loved it when we
watched it all together at your house... I wanted that, too so I started watching DH
SandraDodd: I used to watch 24 with Kirby before he left
and it wasn't fun without him.
hahamommy: For that real bonding with Hannah, though, it was Project Runway
socal77: My favorite shows are always better with people I care about... like a good meal
SandraDodd: Shan, resources like what? Money and tvs?
Schuyler: Hannah is important to my unschooling
Knowing that now is all I've got, that's a huge part of getting unschooling
of being the right family/student to unschool
hahamommy: Hayden's was Avatar! we loved watching that together -- looking forward to the movie!
ShannonBurton: jeremiah found Star Trek: The Next generation last week. i was gonig to introduce him to it....but he
beat me to the punch. watching it with him when irt was his idea was very cool!
money, Tvs, space in the house, time....
hahamommy: Schuyler, I just sent Hannah with Richard Bach (jonathan livingston seagull author)
ShannonBurton: DIana...Elijah is why we unschool.
vesperti: Another Project Runway fan here! Although my children are very young (4 and 1) so they're not
interested. So I watch it alone once they're asleep... it would more fun with some company!
Schuyler: His son is on the family running isn't he?
SandraDodd: Richard Bach abandoned his kids. Did you ask him about that?
ShannonBurton: Wish we'd had the inspiration to do that with his ashes.....
vesperti: Come to think of it, there aren't many tv shows we watch together.
hahamommy: I know about that, I know he is flawed and human ... and still growing and learning
hahamommy: for me, that's more important than having it all together all the time
Schuyler: I love watching things with Simon and Linnaea
I loved watching Teletubbies with Simon and Mr. Bean with Linnaea
hahamommy: You're getting some of Hannah's Shan
SandraDodd: Shared experiences at a kid-level.
ShannonBurton: i love Patrick stewart...fabulous voice, and I have a thing for balding guys....although a beard would
make him cooler.
Schuyler: It was cuddling and chatting and playing with fingers and hands and singing the songs and feeling
SandraDodd: Because I shared my kids' interests, they were willing to seriously consider mine. Straight out, straight
ShannonBurton: Diana =). we will give her some adventures, and she can also hang out with Elijah under his tree.
SandraDodd: Nothing fancy or mysterious about it.
I treated them like interesting people who knew things I wanted to know, and they returned that.
It's the big missing link, I think, in traditionally parenting.
Schuyler: I've shown kids other than my own kids
things that I thought they would enjoy and they've wandered off as soon
as they thought they could get away with it
Or some of them, the ones who know that anything an adult shows you is a trap.
But Simon and Linnaea trust that I'm not gonna trick them with something
ShannonBurton: Sandra...I'm seeing that, too.
vesperti: Can I ask a question... I think unschooling with collapsed boundaries can hurt unschooling, and I am
struggling with that right now. I came out of a bad relationship and now the effects on my relationship with my kids are
Schuyler: I was showing my nephew Eddie Izzard's French bit#
JillP: Yes, Sandra, treating them like people in talking and doing and all things.
ShannonBurton: they really want to know what i'm up to, now...they didn't use to.
SandraDodd: Vesperti, can you give an example?
vesperti: Eg my 4yo son keeps trying to pinch my bottom or lift my skirt up, etc, and although I repeatedly say
''Please stop that, I don't like it'' it's like he doesn't hear me. Because for so long he saw his Dad do similar.
SandraDodd: Say "STOP."
Schuyler: At 4 you could probably sweep him up and distract him into something else
SandraDodd: talk to him in more explanatory fashion later, but not in that moment.
Anytime you're "repeatedly" saying anything, it's not working.
ShannonBurton: Don't wear skirts for awhile, maybe, so there's less temptation.
socal77: Bye everyone, I am turning the computer over to Drew....
SandraDodd: But making a big deal out of it could be bad too. It might not be about his dad at all. My kids used to go
inside my skirt when I used to wear big skirts
JillP: bye Cindy
ShannonBurton: 4yo's are often at butt level...he won't stay at that level.
SandraDodd: when Marty was little.
vesperti: It usually progresses to that Sandra, as I get frustrated, my words get shorter. Instead of allowing that
progression, I should just start with the firm, NO or STOP.
SandraDodd: It was just the skirt was like a big tent, and he was shy.
It wasn't insulting or sexual.
Right. Start there.
JillP: Sounds like he doesnt' know it might not be appropriate, he's not doing it for the same reasons your husband did.
SandraDodd: Maybe you don't be frustrated if you stop him first and find something else for him to do, or stop him by
turning and tickling him and picking him up, but later in private tell him some things are private.
Or "Hey, what are you doing?"
vesperti: True.. I am just assuming that's the reason. Because he does it when we are home alone too, not out so
I wouldn't think shyness would be it. And he does it with a cheeky grin, as if it's a game, just as his Dad did.
SandraDodd: and spray him with water or something so totally subject-changing that you're deflecting the energy.
vesperti: Yes, I will stick with jeans for a while I think! lol
Schuyler: Maybe it bugs you more, too, because it reminds you of your ex?
SandraDodd: Maybe tell him, seriously, that there are parts of him that aren't okay for people to touch while he's still a
little boy, and don't make it scary or "bad," just solemn and informative
ShannonBurton: jeremiah is serving cider to Lise and i. I'm seeing a lot more generosity from both kids.
SandraDodd: Maybe he needs more touch.
I think more touching, more hugging, more lying down together maybe, if he's touching you more than you want to be
vesperti: Those are all helpful suggestions, thanks. We do have alot of positive touch, we co-sleep and snuggle
up reading books and playing games alot... but it's always good to be mindful of these things, just in case. And Schuyler,
SandraDodd: Can you rock him to sleep more?
JillP: My hubby , when he was a boy swatted his step mom on the butt, because he'd seen his dad do it. He was doing it
for fun and connection and to be a part of.
ShannonBurton: Yesterday, in a bathroom with Lise, she let mr go first, "Because I feel like being generous to you,
Mommy!" A 5yo who knows and understands what generosity is is a cool thing.'
SandraDodd: Oh wowl.
That was a wow about Jill's husband's step-mom's butt; sorry.
Your bathroom got in the way.
(Maybe the conversation isn't so far from Beavis and Butthead and South Park after all!
ShannonBurton: Sorry...bathrooms can do that!
Schuyler: Linnaea used to kiss David and I with smooshy mouth kisses when she was little because she
wanted to kiss like we kissed each other
JillP: It wasn't sexual or anything. He got shamed for it, but for me it was cool to hear what he was really thinking about
vesperti: I think you could be right there too. All those old feelings are bubbling up. I still carry some
resentment probably, and it is being directed to the wrong person. What coud be innocent child stuff is giving me those
feelings of being violated again..
I probably need to work on that alot.
SandraDodd: A yard with dirt, parents willing to spend time and energy and some money on/with kids, explore and
support kids' interests, travel if it's doable...
ShannonBurton: Kerrie (you're Kerrie right?)....
Schuyler: A seize the day attitude
SandraDodd: Probably, vesperti.
Maybe he's old enough to talk about it. But I have a friend, grown now, I've known since he was a teen.
ShannonBurton: i have felt very trapped by my children's needs and desires....it goes back to actually being trapped in
SandraDodd: He looked like his dad, sounded like him. Grew up hairy like him.
The parents divorced when he was young and he stayed with his mom, and the more he got like the despised ex, the more
his mom seeme arbitrarily to react badly. His other siblings were sisters.
He was turning into his dad like a slow-motion werewolf.
So be careful of that kind of reaction, please, vesperti
ShannonBurton: The willingness to open up to new things and ideas...even scary ones,,,,i tie-dyed with the kids last
monday...blogged about how I'd avoided it, because of the specific steps - I'm more seat of the pants....
vesperti: Interesting Shannon... something to ponder. Will do, Sandra.
ShannonBurton: And yet, once i knew what to do, it was a lot of fun. we plan on doing it regularly.
Kerrie - maybe breathe. when he pinches or swats, use Sandra's deed huffing breath before reacting.... [note from Sandra: I didn't notice this during the chat, and I don't understand "deed huffing breath" and it might be a typo for deep huffing…. "Huffing" isn't the important part, though. SandraDodd.com/breathing]
Schuyler: Oh, I know one, seeing this as a gift, this unschooling. I get to both experience the gift of doing it
and give the gift to Simon and Linnaea
Because it is a gift I don't get to tell them what to do with it.
vesperti: Cool, tie-dying is good fun! There are lots of ideas to get different effects online. Like sewing, using
SandraDodd: It's a gift they couldn't get from anyone else.
How did the tyedying turn out, Shan?It's hard for me to be patient enough to really fix up the cloth and leave it in the dye
long enough I like dye-dipping, I guess.
Alan: Sandra's draft mentioned optimism, I think that's important.
ShannonBurton: We just used squeeze bottles this time...we did a sunhat, a tshirt, and a rocking sheep with fake "wool"
we bought Lise at a yard sale....
Schuyler: optimism is important
click for more|
ShannonBurton: sandra....www.memismommy.blogspot,com has the pictures....
SandraDodd: The expectation of joy. I guess that's optimism
vesperti: What helps me, is humility. At first the idea of saying to my kids ''I don't know'' was scary and hurt my
pride. I've come a long way! I'm ok with saying ''Shall we find out together?'' now.
JillP: and the attitude that they are interesting, and life is interesting. I love that.
ShannonBurton: I'm not patient, either.
Alan: conversely, a lack of negativity
JillP: At least the expectation that you can handle things or come up with solutions.
ShannonBurton: being open to changing plans helps...like the day the kids didn't want to go to the thrift store a week or
so ago, and we played with ponies and went to the playground instead...what a great day we had!
vesperti: JillP... love that too. ..
Schuyler: Patience is important. I've grown a lot in patience.
ShannonBurton: Letting go of expectations (jeremiah and GBA on playground, and not forcing him to "not waste" the
playground when he was already doing what he wanted.
Schuyler: going with someone else's flow is really hard
SandraDodd: I think some people want to have both optimism and cynicism. It doesn't work so well, though.
JillP: My kids have really helped me with patience, I didn't think I had it in me before I had kids, now people comment on
my patience. It's so much more fun with kids that way.
PatchworkGirl: had to redo the window
ShannonBurton: Patience is one I'm still learning. breathing helps a lot.
Schuyler: But the results are often so much better than forcing them to go with my plans
BeaMantovani: I lack patience with my husband, I'm working on that
ShannonBurton: Oh...i know my Biggie!
PatchworkGirl: i'd love to travel with the kids, but we've had enough uprooty stuff this year and the kids just want to stay
vesperti: Yep, flexibility & open mindedness. I often pack swimsuits and hats even when we're not planning on
a beach day. We are 5 mins from the beach and sometimes a library trip ends with us all frolicking in the water ..
PatchworkGirl: patience is a biggie for sure
hahamommy: it helps to remind myself patience isn't a runout-able commodity, it's infinite for the asking
PatchworkGirl: it's good to be flexible!
AussieTammy: Kerrie, where in Aus are you, if you don't mind me asking? ..
ShannonBurton: getting used to a new definition of "clean!"...some of oyu know how i used to be, because i posted it on
the AL list.....
SandraDodd: Flexibility is huge.
A rewewable resource, patience.
hahamommy: the more you give, the more you get!
vesperti: hahamommy- that's a good one! I used to hear my mothers words coming out of my mouth ''My
patience is wearing thin!'' but how could that be, when patience is infinite!
SandraDodd: I'm going to quit, folks, because I don't really feel good. I'm sorry Holly didn't stay.
hahamommy: She's busy eating fresh rice krispy bars ..;-)
SandraDodd: Please feel free to stay, and if good things are said, please e-mail them to me. I've kept what's up above this.
PatchworkGirl: this afternoon, we got back from lunch & some window shopping with a friend.. my son wanted to go
back into town (1 mile away)... at first i was like "nah i don't wanna" but
ShannonBurton: Getting past thinking they know what messes they've made, and are doing it to make my life harder, has
opened me up like nothing else.
hahamommy: bye sandra! thanks thanks thank!
PatchworkGirl: then I decided "let's just go & walk"... because the animal shelter was in town doing spay-neuters & such…
vesperti: Take care Sandra, hope you're feeling better soon.