Shannon Entin

Thank you all so much for your advice and support! I feel much better
already! I don't want to take up a lot of list space with personal
responses, but I do have a couple comments below:

Angela wrote:
> My VERY shy dd (9) (never could have imagined this a couple years ago and
>it's still hard to believe a year later) entered her cat in a pet show last
>fall and stood up in front of a dozen or 20 people and read some notes about
>her pet. (same kid who wouldn't read in front of anyone for several years.)
>Then she answered questions from the group.

WOW. I have seen my son GRADUALLY talking to others more and more. Used to
be that when anyone said hi or asked him a question, he would just hide his
face or look at me. I encouraged him to answer, but ultimately answered for
him. Sometimes people would say to him "Are you being shy?" and I would
immediately dispel that because I don't want him thinking of himself as
"shy." Lately (last few months) he has started cautiously answering
people's questions and having conversations with people we see in our
homeschool group, etc.

Laura wrote:
>My mom and dad are so overly concerned that he is not with other
>people. "he really needs to be away from you some of the time, this is
>not normal or healthy for him to be so dependent on you." Blah, blah blah.

Exactly. And now that I am expecting another baby, they tell me how much
"trouble" I am going to have because Logan won't be the center of my
attention anymore. Ugh.

Carmen wrote:
> "How will she EVER learn that she HAS to do things,
>especially those things she doesn't want to?" she gasped. How,
>indeed?! What if she learned instead that she could stay at home
>and play with mom and her two younger sisters and be happy and safe
>and that her mom and dad would never force her into a room full of
>strangers and then walk away, telling her all the while that "it'll
>be okay, honey"?

Thanks Carmen. You hit the nail right on the head. I hear this from my
family ALL THE TIME. They think "I don't live in the real world" if I am
raising my child to believe he actually can control his own life and destiny.

Sarah wrote:
>I think it is important to remember, too, that there
>is not much *real* interacting in a social way at
>those types of classes. There is one teacher who
>cannot by available in a real one-on-one relationship
>with each child, and there are a bunch of kids who are
>not allowed to talk to each other.

My husband and I both had a great chuckle at this comment, Sarah! It was a
*duh* moment for me. Of course, you are right. And why should children
*need* to learn this sort of "interaction?"

Thanks again everyone!
~ Shannon

jimpetersonl

> Carmen wrote:
> > "How will she EVER learn that she HAS to do things,
> >especially those things she doesn't want to?" she gasped. How,
> >indeed?! What if she learned instead that she could stay at home
> >and play with mom and her two younger sisters and be happy and safe
> >and that her mom and dad would never force her into a room full of
> >strangers and then walk away, telling her all the while that "it'll
> >be okay, honey"?
>
> Thanks Carmen. You hit the nail right on the head. I hear this from
my > family ALL THE TIME. They think "I don't live in the real world"
if I am > raising my child to believe he actually can control his own
life and destiny.

> ~ Shannon

mamaaj2000

--- In [email protected], Shannon Entin
<entinfamily@d...> wrote:
>
> Exactly. And now that I am expecting another baby, they tell me
how much
> "trouble" I am going to have because Logan won't be the center of
my
> attention anymore. Ugh.

Shannon,

You never know. Yes, you'll be holding the baby a lot, and your son
will still be able to snuggle with you, talk to you, etc. so he may
be happy to have a bunch of down time with you!

And regarding starting a sport at a later age, I have a couple
experiences with that. With tennis, I actually had an advantage over
my friends who had been playing a long time: I'd watched tennis so
much on tv that I knew what I should be doing. They'd get so mad when
I'd hit the ball exactly where they weren't! Fortunately for our
friendships, my aim wasn't great so I'd miss a lot, lol.

I also joined a swim team when I was about 13. I had no problem with
the swimming, but there were social aspects that were harder to pick
up. It did not help that most of the kids' moms were at home while
mine were at work and that most of their families had known each
other for years. When they needed a ride to a meet, they knew who to
ask, whereas I was kind of lost. Kids aren't necessarily good at
answering questions, so without a parent asking the other parents how
stuff worked, I was often confused!

I think that could be avoided if your son goes into it knowing
there's more to learn about being on a team than just the sport.

--aj

Julie Bogart

--- In [email protected], Shannon Entin <entinfamily@d...>
wrote:

> My husband and I both had a great chuckle at this comment, Sarah! It was a
> *duh* moment for me. Of course, you are right. And why should children
> *need* to learn this sort of "interaction?"


Just wanted to add that most people come out of a class orientation. Many, many adults
still believe that they have to take a class to learn something. Many aren't content with the
company of their own families.

To be a content person in your own home is a rare gift indeed that can be continued for a
lifetime. To enjoy one's own company and to want to be with the people you live with -
well that's a dream come true.

I have a ten year old boy (we have five kids) who has no interest in classes. He has only
recently joined a team sport of his choice. And he just started playing Magic cards at the
local gamers shop by going with his older brother. This is a child who has never wanted to
be without me or take anything resembling school (even home school co-op classes).

We spend all day every day together. He said to me just yesterday, "You are the best
mother in the world." He hugged me for five long minutes.

Hmm. Real world experience he hates? Or deep security and affection for his mother?

Tough choice...
Julie

Julie Bogart

Wanted to comment that our kids have all started sports at late ages. I have a son who had
never played a single team sport until he joined lacrosse as a 15 year old (a high school
team, no less). He had never played lacrosse and had never even played soccer or hockey
or any sport resembling it. He was an indoor rock climber. :)

His first year was challenging, but he scored a goal and his second year, he was as good as
most of the team. It shocked me that he could learn a totally new sport at that age after all
the other guys had played sports their entire lives.

He did the same thing with piano. He started at age 12 and by 13 was as good as the rest
of the 13 year olds.

My next son started soccer this year for the first time. Soccer! These kids have been
playing since age six. Guess what? He's fine. He's not the best, but he's right in there. His
size, increased coordination as an older kid and the fact that he wants to be there make
him a solid member of the team.

My 10 year old starts lacrosse last year as a 9 year old having never been on a sports team
in his life either.

My 14 year old daughter started colorguard (flags) this year having not done anything like
that in her life. She played soccer as a 9-10 year old and hated it.

Just a few examples to encourage you. As I say to my kids, "Try it! If you enjoy it, you'll
catch up in no time." So far, it's proved true.

(And their coaches love them because they are so excited to be there, not bored and
restless and sick of soccer, or lacrosse or whatever.)

Julie B

Julie Bogart

--- In [email protected], "Julie Bogart" <julie@b...> wrote:

>
> My next son started soccer this year for the first time. Soccer! These kids have been
> playing since age six. Guess what? He's fine. He's not the best, but he's right in there.
His
> size, increased coordination as an older kid and the fact that he wants to be there make
> him a solid member of the team.
>

I should have said that this son is 13 in the 13-14 year old group.

Julie B